Juan

by Kathleen Ball

  “The baby?”

  “Cute little thing. He looked well. She named him Brent. I didn’t know what to do with her so I took her to Ma. That’s the reason for the summons, I figure.”

  “Ohh, she’s your problem now. Well that’s good. I don’t think Mercy would like it if I brought another woman home.”

  “It’s not like that. Hell, you almost married her when she was pregnant.”

  Greg grimaced. “True enough. I missed that bullet. What do you plan to do with her?”

  Juan shrugged. “Like I said, I gave her to Ma. She’s not my problem.”

  Greg nodded. “I’m going to get cleaned up for supper. Do you want to wait for us or are you going alone?”

  Juan laughed. “You and Mercy take forever, and I don’t think it’s getting ready that takes so much time. I’ll meet you there. And Greg? Take it easy on Sonia. She looks like she was beaten, and her clothes were torn.”

  “I’ll behave. See ya later.”

  Juan stood watching the horses. Most looked promising but a few wouldn’t be sold to the Army. The Army only wanted the best and he and Greg needed to make a name for themselves if they planned to train horses for the long term.

  He went into the house, washed and put on a clean shirt. Hopefully, Sonia had made friends with his sisters; though Scarlett could be a bit prickly at times. Ma would take good care of her and the baby. Tomorrow he’d pay Wendell a visit and explain to him that men didn’t beat women.

  He went out to the barn and saddled Journey. The horse reminded Juan of himself; part brown and part white. He mounted up and made the short ride to the big house.

  He slid off Journey’s back, took his time removing the saddle, and then let the paint go out to the pasture. He turned and studied the house. There was a lot of love inside, and usually he enjoyed having supper with his huge family, but tonight his stomach was tied up in knots. Did the others think that Sonia was his girl? Sighing, he walked to the door and pushed it open.

  It was hectic and noisy with a few of his siblings fighting and the little ones running around. He closed the door behind him and couldn’t help but scan for Sonia. He finally saw her holding a fussing Brent. Juan walked by everyone and took the baby from her. Brent smiled and put his head on Juan’s shoulder.

  The house became mostly silent, and he knew what he’d just done. His heart sank as he turned toward his family. He’d just laid claim to Sonia. How stupid could he be? Maybe Hunter could take her off his hands. He was old enough.

  Everyone smiled at him, and he wanted to swear but there was no swearing allowed in the house or around the kids. He’d done it now; he’d have to fix it later. He glanced down at Sonia, pleasantly surprised at how she glowed. Her short dark hair curled around her face and looked quite becoming. The yellow dress she wore looked nice on her too, but it was her shining blue eyes that got to him. She looked happy to see him.

  “You look well,” he told her.

  She nodded as she continued to stare at him. “Brent is fond of you.”

  “All babies like me. I don’t know why exactly, but they do. How was your day? Did you get to meet everyone?”

  She blushed under his scrutiny. “Yes, everyone has been more than cordial to me. You have a wonderful family.”

  “Greg and Mercy should be here soon,” his ma announced to the hungry crowd.

  He laughed at the groans and Sonia looked up at him.

  “They’re always late,” Juan explained.

  “Very late,” added nine-year-old Cotton. “They like to kiss and stuff, and we end up waiting.”

  Sonia turned even redder than before, but she made no comment.

  “Cotton, we don’t gossip,” Lynn said gently. “But you do have a point, we’re all so hungry. Why don’t we sit down and eat.”

  Juan hung back with Sonia while a younger child sat next to an older one. Lynn sat at one end while Smitty took the seat at the other.

  “There’s room next to me,” Carlos called out to Juan.

  Juan nodded and placed his hand on the small of Sonia’s back, walking her over to the bench. He still held Brent as he sat next to Carlos. Sonia settled next to Juan.

  “Here, I can take Brent. It’ll make it easier for you to eat. He’s been fed so don’t worry about trying to get him to eat.”

  Juan started to hand Brent to her when Brent screeched piercingly. He continued to scream despite all of Sonia’s attempts to calm him. She started to get up from the table.

  “Give him here,” Juan said, reaching for the child.

  She shook her head. “I’ll just take him upstairs so everyone can eat in peace.”

  Juan continued to hold out his arms, and Brent wriggled and reached toward Juan as though he was his lifesaver. As soon as Brent was in Juan’s arms, he laid his head back on Juan’s shoulder and after a few shaky breaths; he made a sound of contentment.

  Pa smiled and said grace. Juan couldn’t help but feel his approval and it fixed a part of his heart he hadn’t realized was broken. Juan glanced at Carlos, who scowled and shook his head.

  “You’d make a good nanny, Juan,” Carlos said, his words dripped with sarcasm.

  “I don’t know much about little kids,” Juan said with a shrug. “But I did have to hold you a lot. I’m surprised I’m not half deaf with all the screaming and crying you used to do.”

  Crimson crept into Carlos’ face and he glowered at Juan in anger.

  “Of course you cried because we didn’t have much food,” admitted Juan.

  Carlos’ shoulders relaxed, and he nodded. “Well, we have plenty now.”

  Juan gave him a smile. “Yes, we are blessed.”

  The bowls and platters of food were passed around, and Sonia served both herself and Juan. She was a caring person, who was just down on her luck. Juan scanned the faces of everyone at the table, realizing that most of them had been in the same situation at one point or another.

  “This is very good,” Sonia complimented.

  “Thank you,” Cindy and Mia both said in unison.

  Sonia then cut up the food on Juan’s plate and fed him while he held Brent. It was embarrassing to be fed like a child, but there was something tender to it too. Their gazes met and held with each forkful.

  The door opened, admitting Greg, Mercy, and Hannah. Ma got up right away and took Hannah in her arms. “I love having grandbabies.” She started for her rocking chair but stopped and turned around. “Hello Greg, hello Mercy, you’d have thought I was raised without manners.”

  Pa laughed. “We forgive you when babies are concerned.” They exchanged a loving look before Ma went to sit in her chair.

  “See I told you they’d be late,” Cotton announced.

  “What’s the excuse this time? Were you kissing again?” Will asked.

  Pink bloomed in Mercy’s cheeks as her jaw dropped open. Greg gave each of the boys a glare before he led Mercy to a seat.

  “If you must know, Mercy changed her dress three times. I think I liked it better when she had no dresses,” Greg teased.

  “It’s good to see you again, Sonia. This is Mercy, my wife, and Ma is holding our daughter Hannah,” Greg said, and his voice sounded sincere.

  “It’s nice to see you too, Greg. Mercy, I hope we get a chance to get to know one another,” Sonia replied. Her body shook a bit, and Juan took her hand in his.

  “Who do you have there, Juan?” Mercy asked.

  “Mercy’s son, Brent. They’ll be staying here for a bit.”

  Mercy smiled at Sonia. “It’s such a loving place to be. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure I will enjoy it for the short time I’ll be here.”

  Juan squeezed her hand until she looked at him.

  “A-actually, I don’t know how long I’ll be here,” she stammered. “I’m sure I’ll find a place to live somewhere, but it’s hard to find work with a little one.”

  “What about getting married again? There’s going to be a party he
re on Friday. We can start looking for a prospective husband for you.” Mercy smiled, seeming excited.

  Sonia pulled her hand from Juan’s grasp. “I don’t know if I’ll ever marry again. It’s preferable to be alone, with Brent of course.”

  “Mia made apple pies for us,” Pa said. “I know I’d love a piece.”

  Mia beamed happily. “I’ll dish them up.”

  “The dress you’re wearing looks nice on you,” Juan whispered to Sonia. She ducked her head and looked at her hands that were folded in her lap. She was nothing like the spoiled girl she used to be, and he was glad.

  Brent was now wide awake and he studied and touched every part of Juan’s face. The small boy didn’t know what gentle meant. He tugged at Juan’s nose and lips and then dug both hands into Juan’s hair and refused to let go. There was much laughter around the table and he felt deep down that things would work out. Sonia would be happy living with his ma and pa.

  “Do you want to go see a horsey?” he asked the boy.

  The boy nodded vigorously.

  “Does that mean yes?” Juan asked patiently.

  “Papa,” Brent replied looking solemn. Then he smiled as if pleased with himself.

  Juan glanced at Sonia, and there were tears in her eyes. “Come on, Sonia, you can see the horsies too.”

  They left the table and went out into the chilly air left behind by the setting sun. The barn wasn’t as far from the house, and they quickly walked across they yard. It was dark inside and when Juan tried to give Brent to Sonia so he could light the lamp, Brent squealed. Sonia lit the lamp instead. It gave off a soft glow that enhanced her beauty. When had he started thinking of her as beautiful?

  Juan stopped in front of a stall, and a dainty mare poked her nose out. “Brent, this is Milly.”

  Brent tried to lunge for the horse, but she didn’t move, she just watched.

  “Brent, you need to stay still,” Sonia said, worry straining her voice.

  “It’s fine. Milly, here, is the horse that all the kids meet first. She’s a gentle soul.”

  She hesitated a few seconds. “If you’re sure.”

  He smiled. “It’ll be fine.”

  “Brent, see how big the horse is?”

  Brent made a noise and wiggled his fingers toward Milly.

  “She has soft fur, but you have to pet the horse not pull it’s hair. Let me show you.”

  Juan stroked Milly’s face. “See? It looks like she’s smiling. Would you like to try?”

  Brent stared with wide eyes and then nodded.

  “Yes?”

  “Yesh,” Brent said clearly.

  Juan had a good hold on the boy, prepared for him to pull at Milly’s fur, but to his surprise he gently petted the mare, his lips curving upward in obvious delight. He’d never really seen Brent smile before. The child turned and petted Juan’s face and giggled. “Papa, horshey.”

  Juan laughed. “Oh yeah? You think I’m a horsey?”

  Brent nodded and patted Juan’s face again.

  “Give Milly a pat good night. It way past her bedtime.”

  Brent turned back to Milly and petted her face, and Juan was able to easily move Brent away when he went to pull her ears. When he turned, he saw the tears in Sonia’s eyes.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “He’s talking. He never talked before, and I’m so sorry he’s calling you Papa. It must be embarrassing for you.” A tear trailed down her face.

  “Don’t worry about it, Sonia. He’ll call whoever you marry Papa. He did say horsey though. Mighty smart boy you have here,” he commented before he tickled the boy’s stomach. After he walked them back to the house, he said good bye to his family and rode home.

  He didn’t know why his emotions were all over the place. He usually split his time between two emotions: anger and love for his family. It was something different with Sonia and Brent, and it disturbed him. He liked his solitary life.

  Chapter Three

  Brent was fussing so Sonia slipped out of bed and carried him downstairs. It wouldn’t do for him to wake the other girls. It was cold so she stoked the cook stove and added some wood to it. She put on some coffee to boil and then sat in a rocking chair with Brent.

  He’d had men in his life, not good men, but he decided to call Juan “Papa.” It frightened her. They probably thought she’d taught him to call Juan that. She kissed the top of Brent’s dark hair. The main thing was he did talk. He was contentedly babbling to her now, looking very pleased with himself.

  Just the short time he’d spent watching the other children had been good for him. But now what? She couldn’t stay here very long. She’d have to keep an open mind at the party on Friday. Maybe she could find a husband. It would have to be someone who was new to the area. Her dirty laundry had been aired by all in town a few years ago.

  Reaching up, she touched her short hair. Roger had done it to shame her. He’d known she was with child before he married her, but he acted as though she’d cheated on him and insisted she wear her hair short to remind her of her sins. It was always the one who didn’t go to church that called others sinners. Her parents had made her kneel on grains of rice for hours to help her repent for her sin. They did go to church, but it was more for the social aspect than to praise God.

  People looked at her hair oddly, but no one ever asked. Roger had taken a knife and chopped off her hair, and it had been so painful. He told her that all men would know she was a fallen woman just by looking at her. It was a wonder that Brent survived it all and came out perfect.

  She’d been relieved when she saw her husband’s dead body, but suddenly his father showed up. Roger must have learned his abusive ways from his father. It was a nightmare from the start, but she didn’t think herself strong enough to leave. Plus Wendell promised to kill Brent if she tried to escape.

  It had taken all of her courage to run when she did. It was stupid, with nowhere to go. But for now they were safe, and she was grateful. Very grateful. Yes, she’d find someone on Friday. Perhaps Scarlett could give her pointers on how to dress and act.

  Smitty was the first one to come down the stairs. “Good morning. Looks like you did my job for me.”

  “Brent was fussing so I brought him down here.” There was something about Smitty that made her feel as though everything would be fine. Lynn was a lucky woman.

  “Lynn will be down in a few minutes. Are you ready for tonight?”

  She furrowed her brow. “Tonight?”

  “We’re having a party. It’s to celebrate Lynn and me being married for two years now. She invited almost the whole town. It’ll be a busy day. Don’t worry if you don’t feel up to help with the preparations. I want you to enjoy the party.” His eyes were full of happiness, and that made her wistful.

  “I’ll do what I can.”

  “How’d you sleep? Lynn asked as she entered the room. She bent and gave Smitty a kiss on his cheek.

  “Fine until early this morning, when Brent started to fuss.”

  “Kids are good at that.” She poured three cups of coffee and handed then out. “I heard Brent call Juan, Papa.”

  Sonia’s stomach clenched, and her heart pounded painfully against her chest. “Yes, yes he did. I didn’t tell him to or anything. I mean I don’t—”

  Lynn put a comforting hand on Sonia’s shoulder. “It’s great he started to talk is all I meant. Juan couldn’t wait to be on his own, but personally I think he’s a bit lonely.”

  Smitty laughed. “You wouldn’t be trying to play matchmaker, would you?”

  Lynn winked at him. “Of course not. Besides, you might find a beau at the party. Amos Shepard is bringing over a pig to roast, and everyone else is bringing a dish to pass.”

  “Happy anniversary,” Sonia said trying not to turn red from the talk about beaus. It was awkward to say the least but Lynn was right, she needed to find someone to take her in. “What can I do to help?”

  “I’ll need someone to put the pieces of cloth on
the tables and pick some flowers to put in the middle of the tables. We’ll get started right after breakfast. People will be arriving around two, I believe,” Lynn said happily.

  Two o’clock came too fast for Sonia. Her nerves were stretched so taut, Brent wouldn’t relax. He wore the cutest outfit of navy blue short pants with a blue shirt that Lynn had laid out for him. Scarlett had been reluctant at first to help Sonia, but after a fashion, she loaned her a beautiful lavender dress with a bit of lace on it. Sonia had almost cried. She hadn’t worn anything so nice since she was a young girl living with her parents.

  Now she stood outside worrying. She was bound to be the object of gossip.

  “Sonia,” Lynn said in her gentle tones. “Why don’t you take this quilt and spread it under that tree and let Brent try to crawl. He might not fuss as much.”

  Sonia took the quilt and smiled. “Thank you. I’m so nervous.”

  Lynn patted her hand. “You look lovely. Just enjoy yourself.”

  Sonia gave her a smile before she walked to the tree. It was the perfect place. There was shade and she wasn’t in the middle of where people would be gathered. If she was lucky, people wouldn’t pay her much attention. As soon as she spread out the quilt, she placed Brent on it. She put him facedown to see if he would indeed try to crawl.

  He pushed his arms up and laughed. It took him a few attempts, and he tipped over several times, but her heart almost burst watching him crawl awkwardly across the quilt. He was so busy he didn’t fuss at all. He’d made strides in just a few days. She’d never dared to put him on the floor before. Without a doubt, Roger would have stepped on him, or worse.

  She was happy watching him explore and had picked him up to turn his direction so many times, she didn’t realize just how many people had arrived. Tables were laden with food and people were having a good time, laughing and talking to each other. Loneliness grabbed at her and wouldn’t let go. She wasn’t a part of their society, not a welcome one. For a moment, she couldn’t breathe, and her eyes watered. Finally anger took over. She’d been friends with those same people until they turned their backs on her.