“Spare me your explanations, Rebecca. As well as your excuses for yourself and your mother. There’s no excuse for what you did or what your mother did. None.” He started toward the door, deliberately stepping on the tattered newspaper clippings still scattered all over the floor.
Desperate, Rebecca grabbed his arm. “Jake, wait, please. Don’t leave like this. Let me explain.”
He glanced down at her hand, his gaze so cold she nearly shriveled. “Take your hand off of me, Rebecca,” he said. “And don’t bother with any more explanations. I’ve heard everything I want to hear from you.” He glanced at his watch. “Now, you have exactly one hour to pack up your things and get off my land.”
“Jake, wait, you can’t be serious.” How was she going to make him understand? “I’m not finished. I think we may have some actual leads on what happened to Jesse. I need to follow them up.”
His face darkened brutally. “Don’t even think about my brother or my family. They’re none of your concern. You stay away from them, you hear me?”
“Jake, please, you can’t mean that!”
“Oh, trust me, Rebecca, I mean every word. And I guarantee I’m very serious. If you’re not off Ryan land in exactly one hour, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.” Shaking off her hand, he slammed out the door, leaving Rebecca heartbroken and staring after him.
She had no choice. She packed up her belongings and moved back to the Saddle Falls Hotel. Heartbroken over Jake’s reaction, Rebecca realized that no matter what, she couldn’t let her own feelings compromise her story.
She called Mr. Barker as soon as she got to the hotel, told him she’d moved back to the hotel, and asked if he’d had a chance to read her draft. He had and promised to fax it back to her with revisions first thing in the morning, complimenting her on a job well done. Normally she would have been pleased. She took great pride in her work, but not this time. This time the praise rang hollow.
Though exhausted and spent from crying most of the night, she slept fitfully. Shortly before dawn there was a knock at the door. Grabbing a robe, her heart thrumming, she went to the door, hoping it was Jake.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Tommy, lass. Can I come in?”
After tying her robe around her, Rebecca pushed her sleep-tangled hair off her face and opened the door. She stared at the elderly man, not quite certain what to say to him.
“Tommy…” Her voice broke as tears filled her eyes.
“There, there, lass, no need for tears.” Shutting the door softly behind him, he reached for her, engulfing her in a warm, paternal hug. “You’ve had a time of it, haven’t you?” he soothed, stroking a hand over her hair and rocking her gently. “Quite a time, from what I understand. But life’s not always pleasant, lassie. Sometimes we get a good dose of the bad with the good. It’s what we do with it, how we handle it, that makes our character.” He continued to hold her, to rock her until her tears finally stopped. When she quieted, he reached in his pocket and dug out a crisp handkerchief of fine Irish linen embroidered with his initials. “Here, lassie, dry your eyes and take a swipe at your nose. I imagine it’s a bit drippy now.” He smiled as she hiccuped, taking the hanky to mop her face.
“Tommy, I’m so sorry.” Her voice broke and she almost started to cry again. “I never meant to hurt you—any of you, especially Jake.”
“I know, lassie, I know. But sometimes pain is unavoidable.” Taking her hand, he led her to the little round table in the corner of the room, pulling out a chair for her. “Sit now, and we’ll have ourselves a chat.”
Rebecca sat, still mopping her face.
“So tell me, lass,” Tommy said, pulling out his chair and sinking down into it. “Have you still a fondness for lemon drops?” Eyes twinkling, he reached in his pocket and held out a bag to her. She stared at it, remembering another evening when she’d been miserable, scared and crying, and Tommy had offered her a bag of the sweets.
Her gaze flew to his. “You…knew?” she whispered with a shake of her head. “You knew who I was all along?”
He nodded, popping a lemon drop in his mouth. “Course I did, lass. A man doesn’t get to be my age without having a wee bit of knowledge.”
Rebecca shook her head. “But I don’t understand.” She scooted forward in her chair. “If you knew who I was, Tommy, why did you agree to let me write your family history?”
“Why not?” He shrugged, popping another candy into his mouth. “You had a stake in the outcome, lass, now didn’t you?”
Struggling to understand, she nodded.
“Who else would want to get to the truth, the real truth, except someone who had something at stake?” He leaned back in his chair, stretching out his legs to ease the stiffness in his bad hip. “Your mother called me two days before she passed away. It was like a lightning bolt out of the blue, Rebecca, and I was stunned, I tell you, stunned. But she knew the end was near. Cancer had ravaged her and she wanted to clear her conscience.” He looked at Rebecca, reaching for her hand across the table. “It’s understandable. We agreed to meet three days hence.” Tommy sighed. “Unfortunately, her time ran out, and I never learned what it was she wanted to tell me.” He smiled tenderly. “But now I do, because of you, Rebecca.”
“Tommy, were you the one who sent me the anonymous note, telling me of my mother’s death?”
“Aye, I did. I thought you should know, and I think it would have pleased her to know that in the end, you were there.” He smiled sadly. “It wasn’t much, but she’d suffered enough. You’d both suffered. And I thought it was the right thing to do.” With a sigh, Tommy fingered the handle of his cane. “Jake, he told me what you learned, and what happened between you. I’m sorry for it, Rebecca, sorry you were both hurt by something that happened so long ago.”
“Tommy, do you understand why I did what I did?”
“I do,” he admitted with a nod. “Shame’s a powerful thing, Rebecca. Having to live with it your whole life couldn’t have been easy. I understand your need to get to the truth, to understand the role your mother played. Are you satisfied now that she had nothing to do with my grandson’s kidnapping and knew nothing about it beforehand?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I am.”
“So am I.” Tommy sighed. “Seems to me she was set up and then left to take the fall.” Cocking his head, Tommy looked at her. “So tell me, Rebecca, what is it you’re going to do now?”
Sniffling, she wiped her nose, then shrugged. “I don’t know, Tommy. I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, you’ve come this far, lass. I think you should go all the way, do it right. Do what you set out to do.”
“And what’s that?”
“Write the Ryan family history—all of it,” he clarified, “including your mother’s involvement and why you wanted to write this story. Include all the information about Dottie and Charlie. Put it all in print for the world to read.”
Aghast, Rebecca stared at him. “Tommy, if I do that, do you realize Jake will never believe that wasn’t my intention in the first place? He’ll think I deliberately wanted to do this story to exploit you, to hurt his family more.”
With a smile, Tommy squeezed her hands. “Lass, as I told you before, his bark is worse than his bite. He’s hurt now, and angry. Feels a bit of a fool, but his own guilt is eating at him as well.” The old man held her gaze, his face soft. “He loves you, Rebecca.”
Hope bubbled to life. “I love him, too, Tommy.” And she did. Dearly. Desperately.
“Well then.” Releasing her hands, he struggled to his feet. “Then there’s nothing left to be said.” He winked at her. “You’ve got work to do, Rebecca, so I’ll leave you be.” He glanced around, lifting his cane from the table. “If you need anything, just call the front desk.” He winked again. “I’ve got an in with the manager.”
She chuckled, then reached for his hand, holding it tightly. “Tommy, are you sure? Once I publish everything that really happened the night Jesse di
sappeared, it could change your life. You could be subjected to massive media coverage, crackpots, all kinds of ugly things again.” She hesitated. “It could even put your family in danger.”
“The truth isn’t always pretty, Rebecca. I know that. And I’m not worried about danger. Not anymore. I’ve lived with fear for too many years now. Maybe it’s time to live with the truth.” He touched her cheek. “I’m a man who’s learned to protect his family, Rebecca, so don’t worry. We’ll all be safe. Don’t you worry about it. Just worry about writing your story.” He smiled. “Who knows, maybe some good will come out of it. Maybe, just maybe, someone will read your words and come forward with some news about Jesse.” His smile was sad. “I can always hope.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Do your story, lass. It’s time.” With that, Tommy walked out of her room.
Staring after him, Rebecca realized that all her years of training, all the years of deliberately distancing herself from her emotions, would now pay off. She couldn’t sit and cry over Jake; she couldn’t even think about how much she’d hurt him or how much her own heart hurt.
She had to get to work.
She had a little over a week to confirm her sources, check her facts, arrange for a photographer to take some pictures, make all her revisions and complete her story so the first installment could run in the jubilee celebration issue next weekend.
Working nearly around the clock, Rebecca finished with a few hours to spare. After turning in her story, complete with pictures and a sidebar listing of all the players who had been part of the Jesse Ryan tragedy, Rebecca fell into an exhausted sleep and slept for nearly two days.
The morning the first installment came out, she went to the hotel coffee shop for breakfast. Josh Ryan, Jake’s brother, had done his best since she’d arrived at the hotel to make her feel welcome and at home. He’d studiously avoided mentioning Jake during the past week, as had she. She couldn’t allow her emotions to interfere in her story.
But now that the story was complete, she was heartily afraid she was going to have to deal with her emotions. And she knew from the pain radiating through her that it wasn’t going to be pretty.
She’d already said goodbye to Mr. Barker, who’d offered her a full-time job whenever she wanted it. After thanking him, she packed up all her belongings, deciding to leave Saddle Falls right after breakfast. There was no reason for her to stay, nothing here for her anymore.
She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. She’d learned what had happened twenty years ago. Once again, she’d successfully dug and dug until she got to the truth.
But somehow, knowing what it had cost her, it felt…hollow.
Refusing to dwell on her broken heart, Rebecca signaled the waitress for her check and accepted a refill of coffee. Now that she’d made the decision to leave, she wanted to do it quickly and cleanly, certain that was best.
“Rebecca?”
Her head came up and she almost dropped her coffee cup. “Jake.” Her gaze took him in, and that wonderful, incredible fluttering started in her pulse, her heart. She deliberately kept her face a cool, detached mask, however, unwilling to let him know how much she was hurting. How much she’d missed him, loved him.
“Hello, Jake.” Casually, she sipped her coffee, praying her hands were steady enough to hold it.
“Can I sit down?” The morning newspaper was clenched in his hands. It would have been hard to miss. The Ryans’ story was front-page news and his own image stared back at him from beneath the banner headline.
She shrugged. “Considering your family owns the hotel, I don’t see why not.” She cursed the coolness in her voice when he winced, but she was accustomed to hiding her emotions, to protecting herself. She just never thought she’d have to protect herself from Jake.
“I just got a call from a woman in Houston.” He hesitated as her gaze searched his, then he blew out a breath. “She thinks she might have some information on the identity of Charlie.”
Rebecca’s heart soared and she set her cup down, fearing she would drop it. “Oh Jake, that’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, apparently she has a daughter who still lives in Saddle Falls. The daughter phoned her, read her the story, and the woman called me.” He blew out a breath, then waved the waitress away when she started toward them with a pot of coffee. “I’m leaving for Houston this afternoon.”
Her heart stilled. Jake was leaving. She’d thought— hoped—that perhaps he’d come to talk to her, to let her explain, but he hadn’t. He’d merely come to tell her he was leaving for Houston.
She tried to hide her disappointment. “Well, I wish you well. In spite of what you might think, Jake, I never meant to hurt you.” She desperately wanted to reach for his hand, to touch him, but she didn’t, fearing he’d pull away. She knew she couldn’t bear his rejection, not again.
“I want you to come with me, Rebecca.” He grabbed her hands, held on tight. “Come with me. None of this would have happened, we wouldn’t have any of this information, if it wasn’t for you. If you hadn’t written the story.”
“But Jake—”
“No, let me finish. I was furious and hurt the other night. I felt like a fool, like you’d deliberately used and betrayed me.”
“Oh Jake, I couldn’t ever do something like that, not to you.” She sighed, feeling an overwhelming sadness for the pain they’d both endured. “I only wanted to get to the truth, Jake. To find out once and for all if my mother was responsible for Jesse’s disappearance.”
“She wasn’t, Rebecca,” he said quietly, still holding her hands. “I know that now.”
“Are you sure you believe it?”
“Yes, Rebecca. I read your story. Several times.” He glanced at the paper he’d carelessly tossed on the table between them. “I think I finally understand most of what happened that night.”
“Yes, Jake, but we still don’t know what happened to Jesse.”
“I know, Rebecca. But I think we’re closer now to finding out the truth than ever before. And that’s because of you.” He gripped her hands tighter. “I love you, Rebecca.”
She stared at him, savoring the words she’d never thought she’d hear. “I love you, too, Jake.” Then she smiled at him. “With all my heart.”
“Then marry me, Rebecca, and come to Houston with me.” There was urgency in his voice. “Maybe together we can finally solve this mystery. Maybe together we can finally find my brother.”
Hope flaring, heart soaring, Rebecca squeezed his hands. “Jake, are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to trust me again?” She held her breath. She couldn’t marry a man who couldn’t trust her.
“I trust you, Rebecca,” he said softly. “You did keep your promise to me. I know that now. And I know Tommy asked you to publish all of this about our family. Because you did, we might have our first real lead in twenty years.” His gaze softened. “How can I be angry about that?” He shook his head. “I do trust you, Rebecca, and love you.” Releasing her hands, Jake slid out of the booth, then held out a hand to her. “Will you marry me, please?”
“Oh Jake,” she whispered, sliding out of the booth and into his arms. Framing his face with her own hands, she pressed a torrent of kisses on him, then threw her arms around him once again, clinging to him. Finally, after all these years, she had what she’d always wanted—needed—all along.
Love.
And a home.
A place where she was wanted and truly belonged.
Together, she and Jake would make their own family.
With a sigh, she closed her eyes as the heavy burden she’d carried for so long slowly, easily slipped away.
“I love you, Jake.” Smiling, she kissed him, her eyes shining. “And yes, I’ll marry you.”
With a laugh, Jake grabbed her hand. “Then let’s get going. We have a lot to do before we leave for Houston.”
“What
exactly do we have to do?”
He grinned. “Get married.”
Together, they walked out of the restaurant and into their future.
Epilogue
Houston
One week later
Stifling a yawn, Rebecca snuggled closer to Jake, resting her head on his bare shoulder. Their hotel room was dark, bathed only in the soft lights of the stars and moon reflected through the window. “Are you terribly disappointed?” she asked softly, stroking a hand over his chest.
“Disappointed?” he asked, glancing down at her as he tightened his arm around her and pulled her close so that their naked bodies were resting against one another. They fit together perfectly, he thought again. Just perfectly. “I guess in a way I am.” Jake blew out a breath and glanced up at the ceiling. “But after twenty years, hon, I guess I should have expected it.” He shook his head, adjusting his pillow more comfortably. “I thought for sure this woman in Houston would be a solid lead to Jesse, something real and tangible for us to go on.” He paused for a moment. “I’m not going to give up,” he said firmly, making her smile.
“I never expected you to.” Rebecca leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek, awed by the emotions snaking through her. She’d had no idea how wonderful it could be to love someone so wholeheartedly. Now she did and it awed her. “Jake.” She leaned up on her elbow to look down at him, lifting a hand to stroke through his dark hair. “We’ll find Jesse,” she said firmly. “It’s just going to take time.”
With Family In Mind (Saddle Falls Book 1) Page 19
