Loved by Him (Wanted Series #6)
Page 5
“Shall we?” Wyatt asked, bending his arm.
I smiled and took it. “This night is just getting better and better,” I said, squeezing my clutch too hard to disperse some of the extra energy that was still coursing through me after his public display of affection.
When we reached the top of the stairs, a doorman in a suit with tails and a tall hat was ready for us, and we breezed right into the lobby like we owned the place, which made us fit in perfectly as it looked like everyone else inside was putting on similar airs and graces.
“Would you like to pick a table?” Wyatt asked, turning towards the bar. “While I get the drinks?”
“Sure,” I said, feeling spoiled for choice at the amount of cozy looking tables decorated with uniform tea lights.
“What would you like to drink?”
I shrugged. “Surprise me. You’re good at that.”
“Just you wait,” he said, letting his hand graze my lower back. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
I watched him approach the bar, admiring the way his crisp shirt lay taut across his shoulder blades. It was hard to believe that being with him still felt like an out of body experience, and I couldn’t help but wonder how long the feeling would last.
Of course, I knew the answer. It would probably last until I told him the truth about me, which I’d been promising myself all day that I would do tonight because I’d already deceived him for too long.
And that made watching him walk up to the bar that much more intense. Because I feared it might be the last time.
He turned back and looked at me as he laid an elbow on the bar, shooing me with his free hand.
Right. A table. Okay.
I looked around. There was one in a far corner that caught my eye, surrounded by a tall, curved booth that looked equally private and romantic.
I made my way over and sat down, laying my clutch beside me and staring at him shamelessly, wishing for a moment that I was someone else, someone who deserved him, someone who could be what he needed, what he’d always wanted.
But there was no way of knowing whether that was possible until I was as upfront with him as he’d been with me. Not that he’d been upfront with me.
I mean, he kept mum about his daughter and his career and his sick mansion. But that wasn’t as bad as what I’d done, was it?
Surely keeping secrets that could only be well received was a less despicable relationship crime than pretending to be someone you weren’t.
But I did it to protect myself. And to protect him. At least in the beginning.
I swallowed as I watched him walk over, letting my eyes drop below his waist for a split second.
If only my past didn’t matter. If only we didn’t have to talk…
“They’re going to send the drinks over,” he said, scooting into the booth beside me.
I raised my eyebrows. “What did you get?”
“Their signature cocktail. What else?”
I tilted my head. “Good call.”
“I figure if that’s not good we’ll blow this pop stand.”
I laughed. It was probably the most decadent establishment I’d ever been in… besides Wyatt’s house. Calling it a pop stand was like calling a yacht a dinghy.
A moment later, a young man that looked groomed to within an inch of his life arrived carrying a tray with two pear shaped glasses.
“Moment of truth,” Wyatt said, nodding towards my drink and lifting his glass.
“It looks like champagne,” I said, clinking my glass against his before raising it to my lips. I took a tentative sip at first and followed it with a much more generous one.
“I think it’s fair to say champagne is the main ingredient,” he said. “But it’s nice, don’t you think?”
“I think it’s the most delicious drink I ever had,” I said, moving it far enough away that I could admire it. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” he said. “There’s something in it that has a kick alright.”
I went in for another cheeky sip and then set the drink down, relishing the way the yummy bubbles tickled my tongue.
Wyatt straightened against the back of the soft leather booth. “I just want to thank you again for making tonight so special for my little girl.”
I pursed my lips.
“She was positively enchanted by you, and you have no idea what your kindness and your patience with her means to me.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “She made it easy. In fact, the whole night was more fun because of her.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Seriously, I think I spent half the show watching the way her face lit up every time a new animal costume came on stage, and- I don’t know if you noticed- but when the cast would get ready to erupt into song, she would lean really far forward and squeeze her knees in anticipation. It was so cute.”
He smiled.
But I wasn’t just trying to be nice. The truth was, I found her company effortless in a way I hadn’t found anyone’s in a long time, and there were moments I lost myself so thoroughly to laughter during the show I felt like a kid myself.
“I’m glad you enjoyed her company,” he said. “Because the three of us are never going out again.”
My face dropped. “What? Why?”
“Because I’m not sure I like having to be a gentleman around you.”
I rolled my eyes. “You did do a pretty good job hiding your true nature.”
“Well, keeping my hands to myself thoroughly exhausted me,” he said. “So I’m glad you’re amused.”
The flickering candle on the table was making his facial features look even more chiseled than normal, and the sight of how sexy he looked was already melting me from the inside out.
“Not that I think she would’ve minded if I’d been more affectionate,” he said. “But I like to err on the side of caution when it comes to her since I never have any idea what’s going through her head.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sure you do,” he said. “It seems to be one of several things the two of you have in common.”
Chapter 9: Wyatt
She blushed and glanced down, her dark eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks. When she looked back up at me, her eyes were slightly glassy, and I wondered whether it was the mystery cocktail or something I’d said.
“What else do we have in common?” she asked, taking another sip of her drink.
“Well, you’re both ridiculously stubborn,” I said. “And apparently you both laugh like hyenas when you’re in a room with people dressed like hyenas.”
Her face lit up. “I couldn’t help it! Their laughter was contagious! And the jokes they were telling were genuinely funny.”
“If you say so,” I said. “But there’s something else you have in common.”
“Oh?” she asked, tilting her head. “What’s that?”
“You both keep secrets from me-”
Her eyes grew wide.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the promotion?”
Her shoulders sank several inches. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“That’s obviously not true.”
She put her hands in her lap.
“I don’t mean to steer the conversation in a downward direction, but how am I supposed to be there for you if you don’t give me a chance?”
“It’s not your job to be there for me, Wyatt.”
“I know it’s not my job, but it’s still something I want to do.”
She looked at me, her eyes narrowing.
“If you say it’s none of my business, I’ll back off, but surely by now you know I’m interested in what’s going on with you-”
“Or not going on.”
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“It’s no big deal,” she said. “It was just a bit of a blow cause I was sure I was going to get the job, and I didn’t. It’s my fault for getting my hopes up.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Th
anks.”
“Was the role you were going for different than what you’re doing now-”
“Not really,” she said. “It was just more of everything. More responsibility, more client work, more money-”
“More stress?”
She nodded.
“Sounds like you dodged a bullet.”
She forced a smile. “I know this might sound stupid, but career success has always been my number one priority. I mean, I’ve been busting my ass for this company for years to get to a place where I can relax a little and-”
I laughed.
She furrowed her brow. “What’s so funny?”
“Sorry.”
“No really.”
I shook my head. “It’s just the thought of you relaxing-”
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I just want to feel secure enough that I can breathe easy. I want to be confident that the company needs me enough that I don’t have to worry about being tossed out on the street.”
“Addison,” I said, putting my hand on the seat between us. “Can you not see that that’s a seriously flawed plan?”
“Why?”
“Cause you’re asking the impossible.”
“I’m not asking for anything,” she said. “I’m willing to work for it. That’s the difference between me and my colleagues. None of them are willing to work as hard as I am or to sacrifice as much to get ahead.”
“So what?”
She squared her shoulders towards me. “What do you mean so what?”
“I mean, so what if you’re prepared to outwork everyone and kill yourself for this company? It doesn’t matter. That kind of effort is never going to get you the results you’re after.”
“Of course it is.”
I shook my head. “Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there isn’t a company on the planet right now that can guarantee you that kind of security.”
Her face was still as stone.
“Business doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best consultant in the world. You can’t count on your job to take care of you or keep you warm at night or keep you off the streets.”
She pursed her lips.
“I’m not saying you didn’t deserve the promotion,” I said. “I’m sure you did. You’re the brightest, most capable person I’ve ever met, but as far as your employer is concerned, you’re always going to be disposable. That’s just reality.”
She shook her head. “Why are you saying this to me right now?”
“Cause I don’t want you to get hurt. Cause I don’t want you to seek comfort and safety in something that can never give those things to you.”
She swallowed.
“It’s great if you love your job, and I’m sure you can do anything you set your mind to, but there’s one thing you can’t do- one thing no one can do- and that’s count on something that doesn’t have a face, a heart, or a pulse.”
She folded her arms in front of her. “What would you suggest I do then?” she asked, staring at me with pain in her eyes that I couldn’t help but feel responsible for. “Well?”
I sighed. “I suggest you not take it so personally. And I suggest you start looking elsewhere for the recognition and the security that you crave because a job is a job is a job.”
“It’s not just a job. It’s my career.”
“That may be true, but someday when you’re on your deathbed, it’s going to be the last thing you wish you had more time with, the last thing you wish you gave more of yourself to.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I’m only sharing my opinion with you, but if you’ll recall, I almost lost everything a few weeks ago.”
She swallowed.
“And by everything, I don’t mean my guitar or my studio or my royalties. I mean my little girl. I mean the thing that I’ve invested myself in that actually gives me something back, something far more valuable than anything you could ever find in a bank.”
“Well I don’t have a kid, okay? I have a career.”
I shook my head. “You’re missing the point.”
“What’s the point then? Really. Enlighten me.”
“The point is I don’t want you to waste your best on something that can never love you back.”
She leaned back in the booth.
“Especially when you have options.”
She let her head fall to the side.
“I don’t mean to be harsh,” I said. “But your employer could grant you every promotion under the sun and they still wouldn’t even be close to giving you the recognition you deserve.”
She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m sorry, Wyatt, but I really don’t know what to say to that.”
I clenched my jaw. “You don’t have to say anything. Just promise me you won’t get so wrapped up in your job that you let it define who you are. Because while I’ve no doubt you’re amazing at it, you’re so much more than a successful businesswoman. So much more.”
She sighed. “That’s very sweet of you to say, but you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Sorry?”
“You have no idea what or who I am.”
I furrowed my brows.
She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “But it’s not your fault.”
I swallowed.
She looked back up at me. “You’ve done everything right, and you’ve been so honest with me, more honest than I deserve.” Her face was serious and the warm flush from a few minutes ago was gone.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, her sullen expression gnawing at my gut. “You’re not making any sense.”
“I know. And I’m so sorry.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, leaning forward. “What are you trying to say?”
She pursed her lips and looked at me through watery eyes. “It’s all a lie,” she said. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“What? Of course you are.”
She looked up and lifted a finger to catch a tear, her voice shaking. “And worst of all, I’m not who you think I could be.”
Chapter 10: Addison
He looked around the hotel bar. None of the tables around us were occupied and a large party was making a fair amount of noise on the opposite side of the room, their celebration in direct contrast to the sharp pain I felt in my chest.
I promised myself I wouldn’t be sad. Just honest. After all, he was a great guy and I was glad I met him, even if there was a chance he would decide he didn’t want me anymore once I told him no one else ever had.
When he turned back towards me, he looked pale.
I watched him reach for his drink and take a big sip. There was no doubt in my mind he was wishing it was something he could’ve drained without bubbles burning his nose, but he set it down a second later.
“Addison,” he said, clearing his throat. “I shouldn’t have blurted out all that stuff about your job. I don’t know how hard you’ve worked or what it means to you. I had no right to-”
“It’s okay. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“So why are you acting like this?” He furrowed his brow. “Why are you saying these crazy things?”
“Just hear me out, okay?” I rolled my shoulders back, trying to feign the confidence I wished I had. “Before you say anything else.”
He nodded.
“You know how I told you I was from a big family?” I asked, feeling as nervous as if I were about to get naked in the bar. Then again, I suppose I was.
He nodded.
“Well, I’m not.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Okay…”
“I don’t have any family at all.”
He cocked his head. “Of course you have a fam-”
“No, I don’t.” I shook my head. “No sisters, no brothers, no cousins, and no parents.”
He clenched his jaw and inhaled through his nose.
“Not that
I know of anyway,” I said, glancing down to where I was holding my own hands so they wouldn’t shake.
He sat up against the booth and waited, his face impossible to read.
“Maybe that’s why I rely so much on my job. Who knows? I mean, I’ve been there longer than I was ever in a foster home.”
“You’re an orphan?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but once I started I didn’t know how to stop.”
He exhaled, his chest collapsing several inches.
“I’d never been on a picnic because no one ever took me on one.”
He kept his eyes on me and stayed still.
“I can’t swim cause no one ever cared enough to teach me.”
He looked down at the table in front of us.
“I used to play my keyboard with the power off because it was usually in my best interest not to be seen or heard.”
He swallowed.
“And I’m nervous around Sophie because I have no idea what it’s like to be a happy kid, to feel safe- to actually be safe.”
He looked back up at me.
“I’ve been afraid my whole life.”
The flame from the tea light on the table flickered in his dark eyes.
I swallowed. “That’s why I push people away. Cause it’s easier to not get close to them, especially when you’ve had as many people let you down as I have.”
He nodded.
“And I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I know that stuff is all in the past and there’s nothing anyone can do to change it, but I wanted you to know the truth before you show me any more kindness than you already have.”
“Sorry?”
“I can’t keep pretending to be something I’m not.” I dropped my head and tried to prepare myself for the worst.
“That’s a different thing entirely.”
“What?”
“Lying to me about your past isn’t the same as pretending to be somebody you’re not.”
My lips fell apart.
“And I don’t think you’ve been pretending,” he said. “Not really. Not enough to say the person I’ve been spending time with- the person I’ve been falling for- isn’t really you.”
I put a hand on the table. “But-”