Paul What sort of things?
Alice I’d like you to tell me if you’ve ever cheated on me.
Paul I can’t believe it! This is becoming a genuine obsession!
Alice Answer me.
Paul I already have.
Alice Why can’t you give me a simple answer?
Paul But, darling …
Alice I promise I won’t get angry. We’ve been together for years. I completely understand you must have been tempted … I’m not going to make a song and dance about it … That’s not what’s important to me. What’s important is what we saw this evening. Two people no longer telling each other the truth.
Pause.
Do you understand what I’m saying?
Paul Yes, but … No, I’m just a bit surprised.
Alice Surprised?
Paul A bit, yes.
Alice Just now, you said yourself that Michel’s situation was quite banal and that you refused to judge him too harshly.
Paul Yes.
Alice Well there you are, this is the same thing. I have no desire to judge you harshly.
Paul (energetically) But it’s not at all the same thing! I didn’t come out of a shop this afternoon and kiss a woman!
Alice Has that never happened to you?
Paul Mm?
Paul Coming out of a shop?
Alice Or anywhere.
Paul No, it hasn’t!
Alice You see, I don’t trust you.
Paul But I’m not going to confess to something that didn’t happen just to make you feel good!
Alice So, it’s never happened to you?
Paul No! But you realise what it is we’re saying to each other here? You realise the direction this conversation is heading in?
Alice We’re talking honestly, that’s all. There’s no reason to get annoyed.
Paul I am not getting annoyed! It’s just I don’t see the point of this conversation.
Alice What are you afraid of?
Paul I’m not afraid. I’ve no reason to be afraid.
Alice Then tell me the truth.
Pause.
Since we’ve been together, you’ve never had an affair with anyone?
Pause.
We can talk about it, you know. We can even laugh about it. All this sort of thing isn’t necessarily that important. Don’t you think? Since we love one another.
Pause.
Come on … tell me. Surely it’s happened to you once?
Pause. He’s obviously tempted.
You prefer, what, to be like Laurence and Michel? Couldn’t you feel the way everything sounded false this evening?
Pause.
Why are you looking at me as if I’m leading you into a trap?
Paul I don’t understand why you’re asking me all these questions.
Alice (convincingly) I need to be able to trust you again. It’s quite simple. To feel we’re able to tell each other the truth. No deceptions. That we’re not like them. That we still love each other.
Paul I really don’t see the point of …
Alice (interrupting him) Please. I’m asking you to do me this favour. I’m asking it as a sign of your love.
Brief pause.
Paul Very well.
Brief pause.
You really want to know?
Alice Yes.
Paul All right. I really don’t see the point of it, but since it seems important for you to know, all right then, yes, it has happened to me. Once.
Brief pause.
Happy?
Long pause. He glances anxiously at her.
Alice (gently) Was it a long time ago?
Paul Mm? I don’t know. Some time ago.
He’s already regretting having made this confession.
Alice How did it happen?
Paul Alice …
Alice No, tell me.
Paul What’s the point? It’s all in the past.
Alice Absolutely.
Paul You wanted me to tell you the truth. I’ve told you. Now can we change the subject?
Alice Absolutely not, we can’t. I need you to explain it to me.
Paul Explain what?
Alice What happened.
Pause.
Tell me.
Paul I’ve forgotten.
Alice Stop it. Tell me who it was at least. Do I know her?
Paul No.
Pause.
Alice Paul …
Paul What?
Alice Why are you so closed up?
Paul Because I have nothing to say.
Alice But you can see how calm I am. You have nothing to fear. Do I seem angry with you?
Pause.
Well?
Paul She was a woman I met. Just like that. It was completely unimportant.
Alice When?
Paul It happened, I don’t know … Last summer.
She’s visibly shaken.
That’s when it happened. One evening, I found myself with this girl and … it just sort of happened. There we are.
Alice It just sort of happened?
Paul Yes.
Alice You mean, all of a sudden, you found yourself in her bed?
Paul Alice, please …
Alice What?
Paul What’s the purpose of all these questions?
Alice To understand.
Paul There’s nothing to understand. I’m telling you, it happened to me once. It had no significance. I quickly realised I wasn’t that sort of man. And that was that. And I love you. You have no idea how much I love you.
He moves over to her.
Alice Leave me alone.
Paul Alice …
Alice How long did it last?
Paul I told you, hardly any time. Alice Tell me …
Paul I can’t remember.
Alice And when you went to Antibes, supposedly for your work, in March, you remember? We had a quarrel because I was sure you were going down there to be with someone … Was it with her?
Pause. He doesn’t deny it.
Obviously it was with her.
Paul (embarrassed) It’s more complicated than that …
Alice What? So, it was with her! It was in March! You know how many months there are, as a rule, between the summer and the month of March? The best part of nine months!
Paul You see, it wasn’t a good idea to talk about this. You’re starting to get aggressive!
Alice No, but do you realise what it is you’re saying to me? Do you realise? This isn’t just some little adventure! This is a total double life!
Paul No, it isn’t.
Alice Yes, it is! You’ve been lying to me for months! If I understand correctly, you’ve been sleeping with this whore for months!
Paul Alice …
She sets off for the bedroom. He makes a vague attempt to hold her back.
What are you doing?
Alice Stop it! Don’t touch me!
Paul Wait a minute …
Alice I’m leaving you, Paul.
Paul What?
Alice I’m leaving you.
Paul But …
Alice Let me through.
Paul But listen …
Alice I don’t want to hear any more. Goodnight.
Paul But you were the one who was insisting on …
Alice I don’t want to talk to you any more. I don’t want to see you any more.
Paul What are you doing?
She goes into the bedroom and closes the door behind her.
Alice! Open the door! Alice? Listen to me. This is completely idiotic. Alice? Open the door. Darling? You can’t do this to me … Alice … You push me to talk and then … Alice? If you knew how much I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you for a single mimute … Why are you behaving like this? Please … Open the door. Open the door, darling … Darling …
Pause. To himself:
I knew this discussion was taking us up shit creek. I knew it …
Pause. He tries to think of something to say.
> Alice … Darling? Surely you didn’t believe me, did you?
Blackout.
Four
The next morning. The sofa is in disarray and Paul’s hair is all over the place. It’s clear he’s slept in the living room. Suddenly, the bedroom door opens, Paul stands up. Alice appears. She’s dressed, already prepared to leave and go and present her project.
Paul Sweetheart …
Pause. She moves forward.
Sleep well?
Alice What do you think?
Paul I’ve made some coffee. Would you like some? I’ll fetch you a cup.
Alice (closed off) I’m late.
Paul Have some coffee before you go to your meeting. It’s important.
Pause. Paul offers her a cup of coffee.
Here you are.
Pause.
Darling, I have to talk to you.
Alice (closed off) I have to go.
Paul I know, but I can’t spend all day in this state. It’s impossible. I’m absolutely … We have to talk. I know you have to go, but I’m only asking for two minutes of your time. Two minutes …
Alice What for?
Paul If you knew … I’m dreadfully sorry about the way things worked out last night. I haven’t slept all night. I’ve been stupid and I want you to forgive me. I don’t know what came over me … You kept insisting you wanted a confession from me, so, I have no idea why, I said the first thing that came into my head and made up that improbable story …
Alice (ironically) Oh, so that’s it …
Paul Yes. I hope you didn’t believe me. You didn’t believe me, did you? Did you believe me? No, because it’s not true, Alice. I never had an affair with that girl.
Alice You really expect I’m going to believe you?
Paul I can see that appearances are against me, but at least let me explain … You asked all those questions so insistently … It was no good my saying I’d never cheated on you, you wouldn’t have believed me and you’d just have started in again. You said I’d have to confess something to you before you’d be able to trust me again. Isn’t that what you said? You asked me to as ‘a sign of my love’ … So, all right, I, after a minute, I told you what you wanted to hear. That’s all. But it wasn’t true.
She makes an impatient gesture.
Alice, I swear to you that I’m telling the truth! I never had an affair with that girl. Or any other girl. I said it to … What? I said it to make you jealous. But none of it was true. I mean, surely you can understand that if it was true, I wouldn’t have told you that way.
Alice You’d have lied to me?
Paul Of course. I’m not a complete idiot.
Alice’s expression indicates she may want to differ on this point.
Alice, please … I just wanted to demonstrate that this kind of conversation leads directly to fisticuffs. And you can see I was right. Look what’s happened … I had to sleep on the sofa! Which proves I was right when I said Michel would have been wrong to tell Laurence the truth. And vice versa. That he was right to lie to her. See? I just wanted to prove it to you.
Alice You’ve had all night on the sofa to think about it and this is the best you could come up with?
Paul Alice, I swear to you I’m telling the truth: nothing I said was true!
She smiles, even though she’s still quite upset.
What? Why are you smiling?
Alice No reason. So, if I understand what you’re saying, last summer, contrary to what you were telling me last night, you did not meet this woman?
Paul Not once.
Alice And in the subsequent months, you did not have an affair with this same woman?
Paul Of course not! Really, think about it … Who do you take me for? After twenty years of marriage, honestly …
Alice And this winter, when you had to go to a conference in Antibes, it wasn’t her you were going there to be with?
Paul I’ve never cheated on you, Alice. Never. Not in Paris, not in Antibes. Not even in Dijon, if you want to go into detail! I realise I was clumsy last night, inventing that fantastical story … I realise how stupid I was … But there we are, I felt as if I were under police interrogation and I said the first thing that came into my head!
Alice And this morning, you would like to change your statement?
Paul Exactly.
Brief pause.
Alice Listen, Paul, there’s no point wearing yourself out. I don’t believe you. And I have to go.
Paul (trying to hold her back) Listen, so, all right! All right! I’m going to tell you exactly what happened. Is that what you want? All right! Since you insist. The woman I was talking to you about, I did in fact meet her last summer.
Alice You see.
Paul Yes. I know. And if you want to know, I even had dinner with her …
Alice Paul …
Paul You don’t believe me? I had dinner with her, I remember this, it was … in a restaurant. There we are. Now you know everything. And please note that I will not conceal from you the fact that, yes, I got into a taxi with her.
Alice But, naturally, you dropped her at her place …
Paul Mm? No.
He’s caught on the hop, since in fact that was what he was going to say.
She suggested I have a drink with her at her place, you understand what I’m saying. I’m trying to be transparent, but …
Alice But you refused.
Paul Mm? No, I … accepted. I admit it. I completely understood the implications of this sort of suggestion, and yet, and you see, I’m telling you about it, I accepted. But once I got up there …
Alice You didn’t feel well.
Paul Something like that, yes. Because I started thinking about you and how much I love you and even if I might have been tempted for a moment, I realised I didn’t really feel capable of going through with it. I got frightened and I left.
She shakes her head.
If I’m telling you all this, it’s so that you’ll know the truth. And forgive me.
Alice Forgive you what? Since nothing happened with this woman.
Paul Mm?
Alice You’d like me to forgive you for what, exactly?
Paul Mm? For last night’s lie. I played with fire and I shouldn’t have.
She shakes her head as if to say: ‘How can you expect me to swallow a routine like that?’
You find it incredible? Is that it? I agree with you. It’s impossible to believe … Which is what proves I’m telling the truth.
Alice Oh, yes?
Paul Yes. If I’d been lying, I’d have told you something believable. Unassailable. Don’t you think? That’s what liars do. Apparently. Whereas, let’s be honest, my story doesn’t stand up. You agree?
Alice Yes.
Paul This story about going up to the girl’s place and then leaving immediately, it reeks of lies! Who’d ever swallow a routine like that? Nobody! No. I hate to say it, but it isn’t believable! That’s what proves it’s the truth.
Alice You really think I’m an idiot or what?
Paul Not at all.
Alice In any case, it’s a grotesque situation. And it’s really more up to me to ask for forgiveness.
Paul You?
Alice Yes.
Paul Why?
Alice I shouldn’t have reacted like that. After all, I’m the one who pushed you to speak. I even begged you to. I had no right to react so violently afterwards …
Paul Well, I must say …
Alice But at that moment, you see, something inside me crumbled.
Paul I understand, darling. And I’m really sorry.
Alice Me too. Really. I shouldn’t have reacted so violently.
Paul (thinking reconciliation is on the cards) Come on …
Alice Especially as …
Paul As what?
Alice No, I have to go, Paul. I don’t want to be late. We’ll talk about it this evening.
Paul What was it you wanted to say?
Alice Nothing. I just wan
ted you to know … I wasn’t setting a trap for you last night, when I said we had to get to a place where we could tell each other the truth.
Paul I know, sweetheart.
Alice But when you brought up that relationship … I don’t know … I was suddenly overwhelmed by an irrational anger … All the more irrational and unfair, because it’s something that had also happened to me.
Paul I know, darling.
Brief pause.
What?
Alice To some extent, I think that’s why I embarked on that conversation last night, to tell you.
Paul Tell me what? What are you talking about?
Alice I only hope you won’t hold it against me, my volcanic reaction. And making you sleep on the sofa.
Paul Of course not, darling. Of course not. No, but, there’s just one thing, I’m not sure I understood correctly. What also happened to you?
Alice Having an affair.
Paul Sorry?
Alice I thought about it all night. And I told myself I couldn’t demand the truth from you, if I was hiding things on my side.
Paul Mm? What is all this? Are you telling me you’ve been cheating on me? Is that what you’re telling me, Alice?
Alice Don’t get angry, please.
Paul What? But … What? Is that it? Alice, are you joking? Are you pulling my leg? Aren’t you?
Brief pause.
You’ve had an affair … You mean with another man?
Suddenly, he’s very disturbed.
But when? How? What is all this?
Alice What’s it matter? It’s all in the past.
Paul Are you joking? Are you joking?
Pause.
(Positive.) You’re joking.
Alice No.
Paul I don’t believe you.
Alice All right. Don’t believe me. What do you want me to tell you?
Paul The truth.
Alice I’ve just told you.
Pause. He sits down.
Anyway, I have to go. I’m already late.
The Lie Page 4
