Paul (getting up again) Mm? You’re crazy, Alice. Are you crazy? You’re staying here.
Alice We’ll talk about it this evening. You know very well this is a very important meeting. I can’t allow myself to be late.
Paul Listen, do you realise what you just said to me? Do you realise? You want to go off to work as if nothing’s happened, when you’ve just told me you’ve had an affair? And with another man!
Alice Calm down.
Paul You want me to calm down? First of all, what is all this? When did it start? Who was it? Alice, who was it? When did it start, this business?
Alice Doesn’t matter. ‘It just sort of happened.’ That’s all.
Paul (recognising the quotation) I don’t believe you. You’re just saying it to make me feel jealous. You’re saying it to get revenge.
Alice Think what you like. In any case, I have to go.
Paul You’re staying here, Alice! I mean, what, you want to drive me crazy?
Alice Paul, please … It’s not as if this morning we’re discovering that people’s emotional life is sometimes … ‘Chaotic. I don’t know. Contradictory. Complicated.’
Paul Will you stop taking the piss? I can’t stand it when people are taking the piss.
Alice (darkly) Neither can I.
Pause.
Paul Are you seriously telling me you’ve had an affair …? Is it true?
Alice Yes.
Paul You’re lying.
Alice All right. Just as you like. Now will you let me go.
Paul You can’t leave me like this! You can’t do that to me!
Alice puts her coat on.
But who was it? Alice! Just tell me that. Just tell me … Do I know him? Who is it? Is it …? Who is it, Alice? Who is it?
Alice Who do you think?
She smiles at him. Then she leaves. Pause. Blackout.
Five
Paul and Michel.
Michel And you have no idea who it might be?
Paul None whatsoever. I spent all morning imagining various possibilities, but I got nowhere. It’s driving me insane.
Michel You oughtn’t to let yourself get in this state.
Paul I know, but I can’t help it. I’m in the most terrible pain.
Michel Poor old sod.
Pause.
Paul Any case, it’s really nice of you to come round.
Michel No big deal. That’s what friends are for.
Paul Yes.
Michel I could tell on the phone you were in a bad way.
Paul I must have called her a dozen times, but she hasn’t called back.
Michel She had her meeting this morning! You wouldn’t expect her to answer.
Paul I know.
Michel So?
Pause.
Paul No. I thought it might be Hervon. You know, the architect …
Michel The old guy?
Paul Yes, you agree, not too plausible …
Michel No.
Paul Yes, that’s what I told myself. I know she adores him … So I thought … But no, you’re right, it’s not plausible. She wouldn’t sleep with a man like that.
Michel Anyway, what’s it matter?
Paul What’s what matter? Knowing who it is?
Michel Yes. What difference does it make to you? She said it was all over. Didn’t she? So?
Paul She said nothing.
Michel Oh? I thought you told me it was a … done deal.
Paul No. I know nothing.
Pause.
Michel Can I ask you a question? Just that, if I understood correctly, before she admitted this ‘affair’ to you, you’d told her yourself that you’d cheated on her … Is that right?
Paul Yes.
Michel You never mentioned it to me.
Paul What?
Michel The fact you were seeing someone else.
Paul Why should I have told you about it? It’s completely unimportant.
Michel I am your friend, after all.
Paul You’re not going to get annoyed about it!
Michel No, but what I’d say to you is those kinds of secrets, you’re better off telling a friend, rather than your wife …
Paul I know.
Michel I can’t understand why you told her you’d cheated on her! It’s completely idiotic.
Paul She pressed me so hard that, I don’t know, I finished up telling her the truth.
Michel This whole problem springs from that, old man. It’s the basic rule, isn’t it? Never tell your wife the truth.
Paul I know. I can’t imagine what came over me.
Pause.
Michel And then, this morning, when she woke up, she suddenly announced she’d had an affair with another man. Is that it?
Paul And what’s more, with someone I know.
Michel What makes you say that?
Paul She said: ‘Who do you think?’ I asked her who it was and her answer was: ‘Who do you think?’ So I know him.
Michel starts laughing, though he’s trying to control his laughter.
What? Why are you laughing?
Michel No reason. Sorry.
Paul Yes. Tell me.
Pause.
Do you know who it is?
Michel Paul …
Paul Michel? If you know who it is, tell me.
Michel Yesterday evening, you were maintaining the opposite.
Paul What?
Michel You were saying that friendship called for lying in this type of situation. Remember?
Paul So you do know who it is?
Michel (as if it were self-evident) Yes.
Paul Tell me …
Pause.
Michel …
Michel What?
Paul I’m asking you to tell me.
Michel It’s obvious. Isn’t it?
Paul I don’t want to play guessing-games, Michel. So? Who is it?
Michel It’s nobody.
Paul What?
Michel I mean, honestly, just think for a minute! Her story doesn’t begin to stand up. She’s never cheated on you.
Paul But I just told you …
Michel (interrupting him) No, no! She simply invented the story to …
Paul To what?
Michel As revenge, Paul. I mean, open your eyes … You bluntly admitted you’d been deceiving her for months! She was hurt. She wanted revenge.
Paul She’s not like that.
Michel All women are like that.
Paul You think?
Michel Obviously. And the proof is, when you asked her who it was, her answer was: ‘Who do you think?’
Paul Meaning?
Michel She only said that to make you suffer. So that you would start torturing yourself, imagining all the possibilities … Which, by the way, you did. No, it’s pure vengeance. And it won’t end there, you’ll see …
Paul What do you mean?
Michel She’s going to go on lying to you. And she’ll even, I don’t know, try to make you believe she’s slept with … I don’t know … She’ll say whatever hurts you the most … I bet she’ll tell you she’s slept with your brother.
Paul I don’t have a brother.
Michel Well, then, all right, I don’t know … With me!
Paul What?
Michel Or something along those lines.
Paul She’d never say that. She’s not stupid.
Michel That’s not what I was saying.
Paul She’d never make up anything as implausible as that.
Michel Why is it so implausible?
Paul Really, Michel … You had dinner with us yesterday …
Michel Exactly … She could easily tell you that, yes, for several months now, she’d been having an affair with me behind your back.
Paul No …
Michel Why not? These things happen, you know. Let’s imagine … This affair had been going on for several months, but three weeks ago, well, a little less than three weeks ago, she’d decided to put a stop to it. Overnight, she’d de
cided she didn’t want to see me any more, or answer my messages, or respond when my name appeared on her mobile … So, suffering from a kind of amorous pique, I’d persuaded you to organise a dinner party at your place. Because it was my idea, remember?
Paul What idea?
Michel The idea of the dinner party. I’d only have done that to see her again. To try to convince her not to break off so abruptly. It was only a pretext to see her again. You follow?
Paul Stop it, I’m serious, Michel …
Michel So am I.
Brief pause. A moment of uncertainty.
What I’m trying to say to you is that that could easily have been the truth … After all. Do you remember when she left the room yesterday evening, remember?
Paul Yes.
Michel She left for the kitchen, quite brutally, to convey her displeasure … I went and joined her. True? Who’s to say it wasn’t so that I could have a private word with her?
Brief pause.
Who’s to say it wasn’t to try to convince her not to break off like that, overnight, with no explanation? Can you believe it? Not a word of explanation! It was really brutal.
Paul Yes, I understand the scenario, Michel. Believe me, it’s not at all plausible.
Michel No?
Paul No. Because the problem arose from the fact she’d just seen you kissing another girl in the street …
Michel Might not be true. How do you know? Perhaps it was just a pretext for cancelling the dinner. As I just said, she didn’t want to see me any more.
Paul No, no … She’s never going to invent a thing like that. Not about you, Michel. Never about you!
Michel (pretending to be annoyed) Why don’t you come right out and say I’m not a suitable lover for your wife?
Paul laughs.
You see, now you’re laughing about it …
Paul All the same, I assure you I don’t have the stomach to laugh at this.
Michel Yes, you do. I’m telling you her story doesn’t stand up for a minute. No better than mine. She lied to you, quite simply, and as for you, you’re an idiot for telling her the truth.
Paul I know.
Michel She lied to you. Believe me. None of it was true.
Paul If only that were true …
Michel But it is true, none of it was true.
Paul Hm …
Michel She lied to you because you told her the truth. It’s as simple as that.
Paul You mean, it’s not true?
Michel (all in one breath) She’s never cheated on you, Paul, believe me, I’m not mistaken, you mustn’t believe her when she tells you she’s cheated on you, I’m telling you the truth, she’s lying.
Paul Hm.
Paul looks a bit lost. Pause.
Thanks for explaining all that. Because I was a bit confused …
Michel puts a hand on his shoulder.
Michel Think nothing of it, old man. Think nothing of it.
Pause. Paul seems confused. Contradictory ideas jostle in his mind. Blackout.
Six
The living room. Paul is waiting for Alice. He looks exhausted. The door opens. She comes in.
Alice It’s me.
She steps into the room. Long silence.
It went well, actually. In case you were wondering …
Pause.
I’m talking about my presentation. In front of the whole commission.
Paul What did they say?
Alice All positive.
Paul They’re going to accept the project?
Alice Definitely, yes.
Paul Good.
Brief pause.
Congratulations.
Alice Thank you.
Pause.
Paul You must be pleased …
Alice Exhausted, more than anything.
Pause.
What about you?
Paul Oh, I’ve had a wonderful day! I spent several hours on the sofa thinking over your announcement this morning, but otherwise, apart from that, you know, everything’s fine! Thanks for asking.
Pause.
Alice Paul …
Paul What?
Alice You know very well I said the first thing that came into my head.
Brief pause.
I’ve never had a relationship with another man.
Paul That’s not what you said this morning …
Alice I was making it up.
Paul Is that true?
Alice (as if it were obvious, almost amused by his naivety) Yes.
Pause.
Paul So you lied to me?
Alice I’ve just told you.
Paul But why?
Alice Why do you think?
Pause.
Paul I’m finding it hard to believe you.
Alice And yet I believed you when you told me you’d made it all up. You know, your ‘fantastical’ story … You did say it wasn’t true … That you’d made it all up … Didn’t you? That was it, wasn’t it? I have got this right? Well, it’s the same for me. I made it all up.
Paul You don’t think it might be time to stop lying to each other?
Alice I thought lying was a sign of love.
Paul Let’s say I was wrong about that.
Pause.
I’m asking you to tell me the truth.
Alice What truth?
Paul You know very well. The story you told me this morning …
Pause.
I’ve been going crazy all day, you know. It’s been the worst day of my life.
Alice I can imagine.
Pause.
Apparently Michel came to see you.
Paul Yes. I needed to talk to somebody. I told him what had happened. He had a better theory about why you were so unpleasant yesterday evening. But you know what the real laugh is?
Alice No.
Paul It wasn’t him in the street! Can you believe it? It’s true he talked to me about this girl … The one who did his head in … It’s ancient history. He doesn’t see her any more.
Alice He doesn’t?
Paul No. It’s over. He told me just now … So, you see? It wasn’t them you saw in the street … Don’t you think that’s a laugh?
Alice What?
Paul All these discussions, all these arguments … All that for nothing!
Alice Not for nothing. At least we’ve told each other the truth.
Paul So is that the truth?
Pause. She doesn’t say no.
Alice? What are you trying to do? You want to torture me, is that it?
Pause.
I just want you to explain.
Alice Explain what?
Paul What happened.
Pause.
Tell me.
Alice ‘I’ve forgotten.’
Paul You see, you’re toying with me.
Alice Not at all.
Pause.
Paul Who was it? Do I know him?
Pause.
Why won’t you answer?
Alice Because in certain circumstances I think it’s best not to say anything. There’s a word for that, isn’t there? It’s on the tip of my tongue … What is it again? Oh, yes, that’s it … ‘tact’ …
Paul Why are you doing this?
Alice Out of love, my love.
Paul There’s only one thing you can do out of love: tell me the truth.
Alice You mean to say you’re asking me as ‘a sign of love’?
Paul Stop it, I’m begging you …
Pause.
You can’t do this to me. You’ve no right to …
Pause.
Can’t you see the state I’m in?
Pause.
Alice All right.
Pause.
You’re sure you want to know?
Pause.
You really want to?
Paul Yes.
Alice I don’t really see the point, but since you want to know the details … All right, then …
Pause. Hiatus. She takes on a confessional
tone. Everything that follows is painfully sincere. Suddenly, all the lightness has disappeared. It has to be impossible not to believe her.
It started six months ago.
Paul What?
Alice It just landed on me. I was completely taken by surprise, you know. I never thought it would happen to me. At first I resisted. Believe me, I resisted.
Paul Who was it?
Alice I stupidly thought I wasn’t that kind of woman. As if that could mean anything … But it was stronger than me and I let myself be carried away. It was very painful. I’m not saying it was all painful. Obviously, there were joyful moments. But there were also hours of misery. I was torn apart. I think you must have suspected sometimes. Didn’t you?
Paul No.
Alice If I’m using the past tense, it’s because it’s finished now.
Paul But who was it?
Pause. She doesn’t answer.
Alice It wasn’t easy. I mean, finishing. I’ve tried several times, because of the guilt, but we always came back to one another.
Paul But who are you talking about?
Alice But then, three weeks ago, well, a little less than three weeks ago, I realised it wasn’t possible any more. I couldn’t do it any more. Something had broken. The spell. The sense of destiny. I don’t know. Yes, suddenly it became dazzlingly clear to me how absurd the situation was and I succeeded in breaking it off. You have to believe me. From now on, all that belongs in the past.
Pause.
Paul Do I know him?
Alice Yes.
Paul Who is he?
Alice What’s it matter?
Paul (more insistently) Who is he?
Pause.
If you don’t tell me, I’ll never be able to trust you again. Do you realise that?
Pause.
Who is he?
Alice I thought he’d come here to tell you himself.
Paul Who?
Alice Michel.
Pause.
Paul Sorry?
Pause.
The Lie Page 5
