Lone Star Joy

by Kathleen Ball

  The blond woman caught her up and kissed her. "Rose I need you to eat," she said, with loving affection.

  "I'm Callie by the way," the woman yelled, over the noise. She strapped Rose into a high chair and sighed in relief. "They keep me thin. I'm always running after them and they never go in the same direction," she told Joy, smiling.

  "Where's Bailey?" Joy asked.

  "I sent her packing. I can't believe she was here as long as she was. If I had known..." Callie glanced at her. "She wasn't a friend of yours was she?"

  Joy shook her head. "No, she hates me."

  Callie put out three bowls of rice cereal. "She isn't a fan of mine either. Here, I hope you're willing." She gave Joy a bowl for Dillon. "I can handle Rose and Aidan, but three -- it's pushing it. It'll be an interesting day."

  "I'm Joy." She took the bowl and sat next to Dillon's high chair.

  "Ma Ma, Ma Ma, Ma Ma," he yelled happily, reaching for her.

  "How cute," Callie commented.

  Joy could feel her face growing warm. She was certain she looked tomato red. Leaning over, she kissed Dillon on the cheek. Her emotions were all twisted. "Let's get you fed, buddy."

  "Does that include me?" Stamos asked.

  Callie got up and kissed his cheek. "Let me get these little rascals fed then I'll get your breakfast."

  Joy watched Stamos pull Callie close and hug her. "Thanks for being here."

  "Not a problem, cowboy. Hey I noticed that Nanny and Nino are here."

  "Yep, they like Joy. You might not get them back," Stamos teased.

  Callie grinned at Joy. "Well if they like her better..."

  Joy tried to spoon the cereal into Dillon's mouth. So far, it was on his cheek, in his ear, and in his hair. "How do you do this?" she asked Stamos.

  Stamos laughed. "I usually have it all over me. At least you aim in the right direction," he teased.

  Joy admired his smiling face and went back to feeding Dillon. She enjoyed Stamos' smiles too much. She had to admit that it was much more pleasant without Bailey glaring at her. She liked Callie.

  She finally had an empty bowl. How much Dillon ate, she had no idea. Joy grabbed a clean cloth and gently wiped him off, talking to him in baby talk the whole time.

  Her heart swelled when Dillon reached for her again and yelled, "Ma Ma Ma."

  Joy peeked at Stamos out of the corner of her eye. He nodded to her, and she happily unhooked the safety strap and took Dillon into her arms. He gurgled and chanted. "Ma Ma."

  "I don't know why he calls me that," she told Stamos and Callie apologetically.

  "I think it's wonderful," Callie enthused.

  Joy watched as Stamos shot Callie a warning look. "Joy, can you help Callie out for a few before we start with the foals again?"

  Joy looked at Callie, unsure of what to say.

  "We women will be just fine without a big strong man to help with the diapers," Callie said with laughter in her voice.

  Stamos stood up, kissed Callie on the cheek, and then stepped toward Joy. He leaned down and kissed Dillon, but he stared at her.

  Joy's heart began to pound. She didn't know what the look meant. It was a nice look, a piercing look, hell she didn't know. She didn't have the experience to know.

  "Well, Joy, I for one am glad you are here. You are just what Stamos and Dillon need," Callie praised.

  "I doubt that. If you knew..."

  "Already know enough. Stamos filled me in on how you got railroaded before I came over."

  Surprise filled Joy. "He said that?"

  Callie smiled. "He sure did. Now let's get these munchkins into a bath so that you can go cowboying."

  "Do you think it's unfeminine?"

  "Don't even say it. You are looking at the best roper in the county. I'm on a horse chasing down cattle every chance I get."

  Joy laughed. "Probably not much time for that."

  "Well, luckily I have my Garrett. He knows if I don't ride the ranch every once in awhile I go stir crazy. He's really great. Oh, I wanted to ask what size you wear. Stamos mentioned that he had to give you men's undies to wear."

  Joy flushed. "I need a bra," she said, showing Callie a glimpse of her binding.

  Callie looked at her chest and laughed. "Doesn't that hurt?"

  "It's uncomfortable, but necessary in prison if you can get away with it."

  "Come on, let's get these babies cleaned and dressed then we can figure out sizes and what else you need."

  The next morning, Joy looked at herself in the mirror. She wore a new, light blue tee shirt and a bra. The sight before her astounded her. She knew that her breasts were big, but good Lord, she never envisioned looking close to this.

  Taking a deep breath, she went to the kitchen. Callie would be there again, and then tomorrow she was going to take Dillon to her house for the day. The new nanny had been promised for tomorrow afternoon. Joy hoped for a grandmotherly type, but anyone would be better than Bailey.

  Garrett, Callie's husband, held both twins on his lap. His handsome face looked animated. Joy smiled. Callie was one lucky woman.

  "Breakfast is ready," Callie called, as she sat to feed Dillon.

  "Can I feed him?" Joy asked.

  Callie gave her a brilliant smile. "Have at it, I have to rescue my husband."

  Both women looked over and laughed, watching the twins trying to pull on Garrett's ears.

  "Hey, a little help?" Garrett asked, his blue eyes twinkling.

  Joy watched in envy as Callie went to his rescue. They looked so happy. Soon enough she was distracted by Dillon hitting his hands on the tray of the high chair chanting, "Ma Ma, Ma Ma."

  "Okay, little man, let's get you fed," Joy said.

  She didn't hear Stamos enter, but she could feel his stare. Suddenly she remembered her breasts. She glanced at him and knew what he was staring at and it wasn't her widened eyes. Embarrassed, she hunched over and continued to feed Dillon.

  "How do you do that?" Stamos asked.

  Joy flushed. "Do what?" she asked, without looking up.

  "Feed Dillon without getting it in your hair?" Stamos asked, with a hint of laughter in his voice.

  Darting her gaze at him again, she wasn't sure if he was laughing at her. "Takes practice."

  "You look nice this morning," he commented, grabbing a strip of bacon.

  "What's that supposed to mean?" All men were identical.

  "Whoa, it's a compliment."

  "Oh? Really? Why now?" she asked, suspiciously.

  "What's wrong with giving you a compliment?" Stamos asked.

  Joy stood up and pointed to her chest. "This is what's wrong. The bane of my existence. If you want to stare then stare and get it out of your system."

  Looking around the room, she noticed bewildered looks on all their faces. Barely holding back a sob, she grabbed her coat and rushed out the door.

  She expected to hear laughter, but all she heard was Callie telling Stamos to let her be.

  Stamos knew he'd stepped in it. The shock of seeing how well-endowed she'd suddenly become took him by surprise. He wasn't the type of man who degraded woman. Well, he hadn't before, now he felt awful. Callie explained how Joy had bound her breast and just how painful it must have been.

  He slapped his hat against his thigh, then looked up at the big Texas sky. He'd have to apologize, but how could he apologize without sticking his foot in his mouth?

  Shaking his head, he headed toward the pasture where Joy was working with Nino at Nanny's insistence. Yesterday Nanny pushed Nino to the front of the herd of foals that were to be lead around using the head collar. Joy had taken it in stride, but Stamos was amazed. Nino wasn't even his horse.

  "Pretty little filly isn't she?" he asked, walking closer to Joy. So far, she hadn't acknowledged him.

  "A smart one too, she takes after her mother," Joy responded, paying all of her attention to Nino.

  "Joy, about this morning. I well, I... Hell, I'm sorry. I don't know how to apologize without bring
ing the whole thing up so-- I'm sorry."

  Joy seemed flustered. "It's fine. I've caused quite a stir around here this morning. Benji had tears in his eyes as he turned me toward all the men and told them that I had turned into a woman."

  Stamos couldn't help it, he laughed, deep and long. "I'm... I'm sorry," he said, between bouts of laughter.

  Nanny came over and head butted him.

  "Thanks, Nanny." Joy walked off leading Nino.

  Stamos tried to be serious, but hell it was gut bustin' funny. He turned and walked toward the barn. He knew he was going to laugh again and he didn't want to do it within hearing distance of Joy.

  The shadows of late afternoon began to engulf the ranch. Joy sat just outside the barn on an old wooden bench. It'd been a long day. The horses were wonderful, the human's not so much. All day she'd been fighting the urge to run into the house and bind her breasts. She'd tried so hard for so long to be invisible and now she'd become the center of attention.

  Twirling a piece of hay between her fingers, she became lost in thought. Stamos sat next to her and she never heard his approach. She was losing her edge and it couldn't happen.

  "Long day," Stamos commented.

  "If you say so."

  "Joy, I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive. Instead I acted like a first class jackass and I've been kicking myself about it all day."

  Joy turned her head and gave him a long steady look. He seemed sincere. "It's fine."

  "No. It isn't fine, Joy. You don't have to just go with the flow and accept everything that comes along. You're not in prison."

  She nodded her head and turned away. "It's hard to change eight years of habits, habits that kept me alive."

  "Joy, I know how it is in prison, it's brutal. When did you go? When you turned eighteen or twenty-one?"

  "Fourteen."

  Stamos looked shocked. "I mean adult prison."

  Joy gave him a sad smile. "I know, they tried me as an adult and sent me to the state penitentiary."

  "How the hell did that happen?"

  "It's a long story. It wasn't supposed to go down that way. Funny thing, once they locked me up, my family never came to see me. Not once. They wouldn't accept my phone calls and they returned my mail. They left me to rot all alone."

  Stamos put his arm around her and pulled her close to his side. "Which one did you cover for? Was it your father or your brother?"

  Wide eyed, Joy stared at Stamos. "What are you talking about?"

  "Hey, don't panic. I know you didn't kill anyone."

  Joy closed her eyes and sighed. "You're wrong."

  Stamos stood up and paced in front of Joy. His eyes looked stormy and it looked as though he was gathering his thoughts. "I know you didn't do it. I'm pretty sure I know who did it. What I can't understand is why you won't tell me."

  Joy looked away. Stamos' eyes looked into her soul and she couldn't allow that. She'd made her decision eight long years ago and she couldn't go back. The thought of telling the truth terrified her and it would just put Stamos in danger. "You're wrong. I hated my stepmother so I took a knife and slit her throat while she slept."

  "Joy, look at me," Stamos said, his voice demanding.

  Joy couldn't look at him. "It is what it is, Stamos."

  "Joy?"

  Joy turned her head and gave him her most intimidating stare. "Drop it."

  Stamos looked frustrated, but he nodded his head. "If that's what you want."

  "It's what I need." She drank in the sight of him. He'd send her back now. He wouldn't have a choice. "I'll pack my things," she said, as she stood.

  Stamos grabbed her hand. "I'm not releasing you from the program. No matter what, you're still the best horse trainer I've ever seen. You'll work your three years."

  Joy looked down at her work worn hand in his hard-callused one. He's so big and strong and hers so small, but just as strong. "Thank you," she whispered.

  "Joy?"

  Joy put her fingers over his sexy lips. "Please, Stamos, don't ask me what I can't tell you."

  Stamos' gaze never left hers as he leaned down and brushed her lips with his. Joy shivered in delight and stepped closer to him. He brushed her lips again, making her want more. Stamos deepened the kiss and Joy smiled against his mouth. It felt wonderful and she didn't want it to end.

  She reached up and wrapped her arms around his strong neck. Her soft breasts pushed against his hard muscled chest. Sighing, she opened her mouth to him. The tingling of her body started slow, but then her whole body filled with electric pulses. This is what she'd missed her whole life. He made her feel things she couldn't have comprehended before. It was heaven just touching another human being, but Stamos excited her beyond anything she'd ever experienced. She moaned and pressed herself against him.

  Suddenly she heard Dillon's cry coming from Stamos' side. She pulled away confused.

  Stamos smiled. "Baby monitor. We'd better go see what his highness needs." He grabbed her hand.

  Joy looked at their linked hands and followed him. She was never more thrilled, confused, or terrified. Secretly she hoped that Dillon called her Ma Ma.

  Chapter Six

  It'd been a hectic morning. Callie dropped by to pick up Dillon, and Stamos packed every conceivable item that Dillon might need. Callie laughed and Joy watched in envy as Stamos kissed Callie's cheek.

  The kiss Joy had shared with Stamos the night before had been too brief. After he took care of Dillon, Stamos had ignored her and closed himself up in his office. Joy didn't know what to think, but she knew the bite of rejection. It seemed obvious that Stamos regretted his actions. He regretted their spine tingling kiss.

  Joy decided that she wasn't going to kiss him anymore. She wanted to enjoy being free. There were so many little things each day that made her spirit soar, and she didn't need the drama of Stamos to ruin it.

  So far today, a monarch butterfly made her spirit soar. She watched it fly free and she felt a bit lost. She took a deep breath, and prepared to muck out the stalls.

  "You won't need the shovel today," Stamos called to her from the yard.

  Joy stood still watching him walk toward her. His muscles showed through his shirt and his jeans were tight, outlining his muscled thighs. Her heart beat faster. Her mind and body were not working in tandem. She couldn't seem to help herself. She found him attractive.

  "I want Benji to show you the ranch. You've been stuck in this barn long enough."

  "I don't mind," she protested.

  Stamos smiled a deep smile. His eyes twinkled. "Go get Franklin and I'll find Benji. He loves to be a tour guide."

  Joy grinned at Stamos, nodded her head, and turned around to saddle Frankie. She could feel the warmth of his gaze on her back.

  It felt glorious to ride the range. The wind whipped against her face and through her hair. Joy experienced an excitement she hadn't known since childhood. It was going to be a great day. Benji was a great rider and an even better tour guide.

  He was so good that Joy wished that he'd stop talking occasionally. Stamos owned a beautiful piece of land and she could see why he was so proud. Suddenly, she heard a baleful cry of a cow and they turned their horses.

  Franklin rode straight toward the ailing cow. She was down in a ravine with no way out. The sides going down were straight up and down, too vertical to get down to her.

  "I could go down," Benji volunteered.

  "No, Benji, it would be suicide. We need to look at it from all angles."

  "What?" Benji asked.

  "Get down and we'll walk along the ridge of the ravine. She must have walked down there, she's not hurt. If she'd fallen in, she'd have a broken leg."

  "Joy, you are so smart."

  Joy winked at her giant friend. "Let's get walking."

  Still, it was steep.

  "We can't get a horse down there."

  "I could rope her and help her find her way," Benji suggested.

  Joy was doubtful that Benji could do it, but it
was that or nothing. "Let's give it a try."

  Benji's prowess with a rope amazed her. He roped the cow in one try. Joy talked soothingly to the poor animal as Benji and his horse Monroe, pulled her.

  The cow lost her footing a few times, but Benji got her out. "Benji, you are wonderful," Joy praised.

  "Yep I know," he replied, with a smile.

  They led the cow toward the right direction and let her go. Joy was on the top of the world until an ATV came toward them. As far as she knew, Stamos didn't use them. Both horses became agitated as it came closer.

  "Wonder who that is?" Benji commented, not at all worried.

  "I don't know," Joy said.

  The ATV came closer and it slowed. Joy and Benji sat on their horses. As the rider got off, Joy gasped. It was her father.

  He hadn't aged much. He still looked akin to a huge man not to be crossed. His dark, straight hair with a touch of gray was the only change that Joy could detect. It surprised her that he looked just the same as he did eight years ago.

  "Landed on your feet," he drawled as he walked closer. He stopped a few feet away.

  "I'm a cat. I have nine lives," Joy said sharply.

  "I know, used up about seven of them if my count is right," he said, his words sounded flippant but Joy knew better.

  "Must be one I didn't know about. There were only six attempts on my life while I rotted away in prison."

  "Could be I counted wrong." He shrugged.

  "Benji, this is Wood Courtland. He's supposed to be my father, but I'm still hoping for that little fact to be untrue."

  Benji just stared at the big man.

  Joy gazed at her father. If he said there were seven attempts then there were. Something must have foiled his plan. Someone other than her for a change. "What are you doing here?"

  "I wanted to see my baby girl," Wood said, smiling.

  "Like hell. Tell me what you want or Benji here will take care of you."

  Benji looked at her in surprise then squinted his eyes at Wood. "You'd better believe it, mister," he said in an over the top menacing voice.