Works of Ivan Turgenev (Illustrated)
Page 375
Moshkin: I’ll have a talk with him, Masha. Masha: On no consideration, Mikhail Ivanych. He doesn’t want me, and so, may the Lord be with him. I don’t want to force myself upon him, Mikhail Ivanych. I beg you, do you hear me? Not one word to Petr Ilich about me. I am an orphan; I have no protection. He has insulted me, and, — well, I forgive him. But I don’t want to force myself upon him. Now listen, Mikhail Ivanych: not a word, not a single word, if you love me. . . .
Moshkin: You have no protection, Masha? Where am I? Don’t I love you as though you were my own daughter?
What do you think is killing me? What’s killing me, is the thought, so to say, that I am, really, the true cause. I worked up the whole thing. He has hurt me, — there is no denying that. He has bluffed me. But, what of that? Are we, on account of it, to drop this matter? Bow to him, and let him go? No, that’s impossible. Moreover, he may come to his senses, himself. I brought him here the other time.
Masha: And it was quite useless. What good came of it? You see for yourself.
Moshkin: But — well, Masha, what else could I do? I let you judge. Put yourself in my place. It wasn’t so very long ago, that everything looked promising. If you hadn’t been willing to postpone the wedding, you would have been a married woman by this time. How do you expect me then, to break everything off, and all at once? This seems more like a dream, a fog. Look! Suddenly, you and I will wake up and find everything as it was. Why should he withdraw? Why? Why? Aren’t you attractive?
Masha [languidly]: You are very kind, Mikhail Ivanych. You love me, and that is why you like everything about me. But he — No, I am not what he wants. At first, it is true, I interested him. And afterwards ... I noticed it long ago, Mikhail Ivanych, but I did not tell you, because, I was afraid it would vex you. Look at his friends. How can we compare ourselves with them? We are too simple for them, Mikhail Ivanych. We are too low. He despises us, that’s all.
Moshkin: Despises us? He didn’t despise the money he has taken from me. Because he has a German friend, he has forgotten himself. That isn’t anything. No, my boy, you haven’t struck the right fellow. . . .
Masha: What’s the use of talking like this, Mikhail Ivanych? What good will it do? We can’t bring back the past.
Moshkin: But, my dear girl, think, what they will say? Masha, what will they say? . . .
Masha: Well, what can we do, Mikhail Ivanych?
Moshkin: What we can do is just what I am worrying about.
Masha [after a moment’s silence]: We can do nothing. Only ... I can’t remain here any longer.
Moshkin: W - h - a - t?
Masha: I must — leave you, Mikhail Ivanych.
Moshkin: Why so? What does that mean? Has your aunt put something into your head?
Masha: Auntie did say something about it. However, I thought of it myself, too. Believe me, Mikhail Ivanych, my heart is bleeding at the very thought of parting from you.
Moshkin: You had better tell me to jump out of the window and die. Masha! Are you in your right senses? Where will you go? Please, tell me, where will you go? Oh, that old witch! I can see plainly enough, that she wants to kill me. But why do you, Masha, want to kill me? What is the matter with you?
Masha: Mikhail Ivanych! Listen to me, impartially, and you will agree with me.
Moshkin: I shall never agree with you, never agree with you, my dear.
Masha: Listen: you took me into your house right after mother died. You alone cared for me. Finally, you introduced me to Petr Ilich. Then, all this happened: He proposed to me and now he has withdrawn. Think of my condition now, Mikhail Ivanych. What will people think of me?
Moshkin: What will people think?
Masha [hurriedly]: I am, after all, a stranger to you, Mikhail Ivanych. They will say: “He jilted her. Well, what does she care? She is a charge, and is eating her bread for nothing.” They’ll say, that I was engaged, and now, that he has thrown me over, it is nothing; I ought to be thankful for that much attention; that it serves me right, because no one is responsible for me; that had I lived with my relatives, it would never have happened. But a stranger’s bread tastes better. They may also say that I am lazy and don’t want to work. Now try to understand my position, Mikhail Ivanych. I love you more than any one in this world, but what can I do? Until now, I could live here, but now ... I cannot remain here. I simply cannot. Why should I stand that contempt? Judge for yourself. I will be able to earn my living.
Moshkin: I can’t understand a word; positively, I can’t understand you. What about leaving? What about contempt? Who will dare? . . . The Lord be with you, Masha. Who is responsible for you? I am responsible for you. I wouldn’t let anyone get the best of me. I’ll show that to the whole world, and I’ll show it to that molly - coddle, too.
Masha: Why do you talk like that?
Moshkin: Well, you’ll see. You don’t know me yet. “You are living with me.” . . . Masha! Cross yourself! I am an old man, and I am a man of good habits. Everybody knows that you are my daughter. Honestly, so help me God, I don’t understand you!
Masha: No, Mikhail Ivanych, you do understand me.
Moshkin: Really, Masha, you were not in earnest when you said that?
Masha [getting up]: I don’t feel like joking now, Mikhail Ivanych.
Moshkin: And you can leave me?
Masha: I must.
Moshkin: Where will you go?
Masha: Somewhere. First, I may go to Auntie for a while. Then, I will see; perhaps, I can find a place.
Moshkin [wringing his hands]: I’ll lose my mind, I’ll lose my mind! So help me God, I’ll lose my mind! You go to Auntie! Why don’t you ask first: where does she live? She lives back of the screen of the pantry, which belongs to the room of a mid - wife. It’s a dirty little hole. It’s mostly filled up with dried mushrooms and old petticoats.
Masha [somewhat insulted]: I am not afraid of poverty.
Moshkin [jumping up]: No, that’s nonsense! That’s nonsense! I can’t bear all this. What’s this: he and you — everybody, all at once. . . . You, at least, show me that you have a kind heart, not like his. Is it possible that all the young people are like this? Judge for yourself: I live only for you; your absence will kill me. Masha! Have pity on an old man. What have I done to you? . . .
Masha: Mikhail Ivanych! Put yourself in my place. . . . I cannot, I cannot remain here.
Moshkin: Oh, you women! You are the trial of men! There is no way of getting out whatever you take into your heads. No, Masha! I can’t let you go away from here. This is your nest; here is your roof; everything here is yours and everything is for you. I can’t part with you. But I . . . Well, yes, I am willing to acknowledge that you are right; that everybody ought to respect you; that I, on my part, must protect you as my own daughter. That’s my business, because you live here; because I am responsible for you before God and man. And in consequence of all this, I tell you this: you be calm, and this is what I will do: either I will bring everything back to the old way, or I will call him out to a duel.
Masha [frightened]: To a duel!
Moshkin: Yes, to a duel! Either with stilettos or with pistols. It’s all the same to me.
Masha [in a choking voice]: Listen, Mikhail Ivanych: I tell you, if you don’t withdraw your intentions, so help me God, right before your very eyes — Well, I don’t know — I’ll take my life.
Moshkin [almost shouting]: Well, what shall I do then? What shall I do? I am losing my mind. [Stops suddenly.] Listen, Masha — No, I am out of my mind — Well, it’s all the same, anyway. Listen: you want to be respected, don’t you? You want no one to even think ill of you? Your present situation is a hard one for you, eh? Isn’t that right? Well, then listen: only for Heaven’s sake, don’t think I am crazy — Well, see . . . I . . . you will remain here . . . and no one . . . you understand ... no one will dare . . . well, in a word, do you want to marry me?
Masha [with inexpressible surprise]: Mikhail Ivanych! . . .
Moshkin [unusually qui
ckly]: Don’t interrupt me. I don’t know myself how this thought came into my head, but I felt that I must express it. The means, I will admit, are quite heroic, but the situation is a desperate one. If I had retained any hopes of Petrusha’s coming back to you . . . [Masha makes a motion with her hand.] Well, you see, you see. ... At any rate, let me explain myself to you. Other
wise, you’ll be justified in thinking I am crazy. Oh — no, you won’t think, you can’t think, that I am capable of insulting you.
Masha: Oh, no! Oh, no!
Moshkin: You yourself are to blame for it. Why did you frighten me by threatening to go away? All that you said to me about the reasons, about earning a living, — all that turned my head. What do you think I am afraid of? What do you think I want? All I want, is that people should respect you as they do a queen. All I want to do, is to prove to the world, that to marry you is the height of happiness. One fool, a simple boy, threw that happiness away, but I am a man of steady habits, an irreproachable official, as they say, and I am on my knees before you, asking you, Maria Vasilevna, to consider me worthy. That’s what I want to prove to the world, — that is, to Petr Ilich. That’s what I want you to understand. But for Heaven’s sake, don’t think that . . .
Ma§ha: Michail Ivanych! . . .
Moshkin: Wait, wait! I know, I know all you want to tell me, but understand me first: I know that I can’t make you a real good husband. That’s understood. But I really feel that you cannot live here as before, and you cannot leave me. I offer you, then, peace, quietude, respect, and shelter. That’s what I am offering you. I am an honest man, Masha, and you know it. I am not a bit besmirched. I will care as much for you as I always have. I shall be your father, — that’s what I’ll be. Oh, they wanted to jilt you, insult you, because you’re a helpless orphan, you’re a charge, you’re living among strangers, on the bread of charges! Oh, no! Here, you will be a mistress, a madam, a lady, and I will be just your protector, — do you understand? — your protector, and nothing else. Well, what do you say to this?
Masha: I am very much surprised, Mikhail Ivanych, I am very much moved. How can you expect me to answer you right away?
Moshkin: I am not forcing you to do it right away. Think it over at your leisure. I have thought of it only for your good. It’s your affair. To - day, you tell me that you will remain here, that’s all. And I will be happy, for I don’t want anything else.
Masha: But remain here? I cannot. If ... I can only remain, then ... I cannot answer you now.
Moshkin: Well, just as you like, just as you like. Think it over.
Masha: But, Mikhail Ivanych! If I should . . . have I a right to depend upon . . . why do you . . .
Moshkin: Oh, nonsense! According to your opinion, then, what am I good for in this world? Tell me. What am I good for in this world? What nonsense has got into your head? An old fool like me, couldn’t even dream of such happiness. Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord! What nonsense! Tell me one thing now: that you will remain! And the real answer, you can give me later, whenever you want to, and whatever it may be.
Masha [after a moment’s silence]: I am in your power.
Moshkin [vexed]: If you say that word to me again, I swear to God, that I’ll go into the kitchen and do the most unworthy thing I can find to do. Do you hear me? You, in my power! Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord!
Masha [looking at him for some time; then in a low, quivering voice]: I’ll remain, Mikhail Ivanych, I’ll remain.
Moshkin [joyfully]: You’ll remain? My dear girl! [Wants to embrace her but refrains.] No, I dare not, I dare not, I dare not.
Masha [embracing him]: My kind, kind Mikhail Ivanych! You love me; you are devoted to me! Yes, yes, that’s so; that’s true. You will not deceive me; you will not jilt me. I can depend upon you. Let me go to my room now. My head is just swimming. I’ll go to my room.
Moshkin: Do as you like, Masha, do as you like. Do as you please. You have no one over you here. Rest yourself. That’s the main thing; you must get rested, and everything will come out all right. [He escorts her to her room*] And so you will stay?
Masha: Yes, I will stay.
Moshkin: Praised be the Lord! Praised be the Lord! All I want, is for you to be quiet and happy. Don’t worry about anything else. They say, that in such cases, one must ask the beloved one: “May I, so to say, hope for the rest?” But don’t be afraid of me. I’m not going to ask you . . .
Masha [after a moment’s silence]: Yes, you may hope. [After a moment’s thought.] Yes, you may hope. [ Goes into her room quickly.]
Moshkin [alone]: What did she say? “You may hope”! [He dances around for joy.] Hold on, you old fool! What are you dancing around for? Don’t you understand? No? Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord! Who could ever have foreseen this? It is such a miracle. The like has never happened before in the world. He refuses, Masha remains, and I, most likely, will get married! I, get married! At my age! And married to whom? To perfection itself; I am going to marry an angel! It is really a dream, an illusion. I must be in a fever, yes, in a fever. Aha, Petr Ilich! You thought you were going to play us a trick, a dirty trick. But no, sir; but no! A fig for you! [Looks around; then to himself, quietly.] That’s why my heart acted queerly when I was trying to marry her off! [Motioning with his hand.] Shut up, shut up, you old fool! I can hardly catch my breath. So help me God, I can hardly catch my breath! I’ll go out for a little walk in the fresh air. [Takes his hat and starts to go, but runs into Shpundik and Priazhkina.]
Shpundik [hesitatingly]: Where are you going?
Moshkin: To get a little fresh air, Filipp, to get a little fresh air — Just a little; a short walk. I’ll be right back.
Shpundik: What’s the matter with you? Has something happened? How is Maria Vasilevna?
Moshkin: All right, all right. Don’t bother yourself. She is in her room. Everything is all right. [To Shpundik.] Filipp, my dear! Let me embrace you! I just . . . don’t go in to see her. Everything is all right, excellent. [Runs away.]
Shpundik [turning to Priazhkina; perplexed]: What does it mean? What has happened to him?
Priazhkina [hardly able to catch her breath; she tries to take hold of the arm of the chair as though she were fainting]: Oh ... a ... fit... a fit .. . dear . . . help ... a fit.
Shpundik [supporting her; somewhat frightened]: What’s the matter? What’s the matter? Have you got a fit? [Shouts.] Stratilat! Stratilat! Run for the doctor.
Priazhkin [swooning away]: Oh, dear . . . Oh, dear!
Shpundik [despairingly]: Stratilat! Where are you? Stratilat!
Stratilat [running in from the vestibule]: What do you want, sir?
Shpundik: Run for the doctor. Quick! Ekaterina Savishna is ill. She has a fit. Here! [Points to her.]
Priazhkina [straightening up; with dignity to Shpun -
dik]: Cross yourself, my dear. What’s the matter with you? Have you lost your mind, or what? What fit?
Shpundik [in. surprise]: You yourself . . .
Priazhkina [whimpering]: I didn’t have any fit. He did, — my dear Mikhail Ivanych did. He had the fit.
Shpundik [angrily]: Pfui! How you frightened me! [To Stratilat.] Go. [Stratilat goes out To Priazhkina.] You ought to be ashamed, really.
Priazhkina: Why? Were you blind? Couldn’t you see. . . . Why, his face was all twisted, and his lips, too. He has had a shock. Yes, he’s had a shock, believe me. A couple of days ago, our doctor had a shock, the same way. To be sure, he was a drunkard, and he had the dropsy, but their faces looked alike. Oh, wretched woman that I am! Who will help me now? . . .
Shpundik: Oh, she’s letting loose again I [Moshkin runs in from the vestibule.] Well, look at him, please. Does he look like a sick man? Oh, you old woman! [To Moshkin.] Imagine, Misha! Ekaterina Savishna assures me that you have had a shock.
Moshkin: Well, in one sense of the word, that is true. I know, I know, you must be surprised that I . . . But, be a little patient, be a little patient. I shall explain it all to you ... in time.
Shpundik: Wel
l, what is the matter with you then, my boy? Tell me. You don’t act like yourself.
Moshkin: Very likely, very likely. [Taking Shpundik to one side.} Filipp, you know a wedding may take place, after all!
Shpundik: Is that so? You succeeded, eh?
Moshkin: Yes, I succeeded — but not with him.
Shpundik: How is that? With whom, then?
Mobhkin: Well, you’ll find out. Embrace me.
Shpundik: All right. Only, I — really . . . [Embraces him]
Moshkin [quietly]: Now you can congratulate me, too.
Shpundik [doubtfully]: H - m?
Moshkin: I am sure, Filipp, you must have had a suspicion . . .
Shpundik: A suspicion? What suspicion?