Royce

by D. Hamilton-Reed

  Michael and Joy drove home and he didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know how to ask if she’d enjoyed being with another man, a white man at that. Michael knew this was all his doing; when he’d been approached he’d vehemently scorned the idea. Letting other men have Joy, his mind screamed, No fucking way! But later he thought about it, thought about the contacts he could make, the business he could get, and he rationalized if this is the game rich white men are playing well he’d better play it too. It wasn’t just on the golf course anymore, it was in the bedroom. Joy was his hold back; could he let white men have her? He had to think hard on that one, Joy was the reason he breathed, the reason he did anything, the reason he worked so hard.

  He’d known that since the day he met her. He was a senior at Princeton University and his buddies heard about this party the African American Student Liberties Union was putting on at the University of Pennsylvania.

  “Aw man it’s too close to finals and I’m knee deep into my thesis, I don’t have time for that right now,” he’d argued.

  “Aw come on man, it’s one night, let’s check out some Penn ladies, it’s still Ivy League, I know you like that,” Keith had come back at him and he gave in. He was trying to graduate and go to law school not find a lady. But he found himself crushed in the back seat riding to Philadelphia and his only consolation it wasn’t a long drive, a little less than an hour, so maybe it wouldn’t be a long night. They arrived at the party and right away they thought it was a bust, “Aw, look at this, there’s only a couple of fine ladies here. The rest we can find anywhere,” Gerald the ladies man of the group said disappointed. “Well we’re here now, you all dragged me all the way here we’re going to make the best of it,” and about thirty minutes later Joy walked in and all their mouths dropped.

  “I’m getting her number,” “Nah I’m gettin that,” so the bet was on and he had to admit she was pretty, gorgeous really, tall, built to perfection and she carried herself well. He didn’t take the bet, he wasn’t interested in meeting anyone right now, but he did find himself talking to her. After all his buddies had made their introduction and all were still trying to get her number he found himself introducing himself to her when he saw her look in his direction and smile, he wasn’t sure if it was at him, but he responded as if it were.

  “Hi I’m Michael, Michael Abrams,” he said and offered his hand, “I’m Joy, Joy Vincent,” she said and smiled a shy smile at him and up close he thought she was strikingly beautiful. From a distance she was pretty, but up close, her skin, her dark eyes and soft luxuriant hair coupled with that shy smile stole his breath away.

  “Would you like to dance Joy?” She accepted, and afterwards he led her to a corner to get to know her a bit, and he found he liked her and after a few minutes more his only thought was, This is not the kind of girl you date this is the kind of girl you marry, and he wasn’t ready for that. Marriage was a long way off for him, so he moved on and danced with other girls, other less interesting girls which suited him just fine and then when the party was over and they were heading out he saw Gerald talking to Joy. He knew he was putting the moves on her and before he knew what he was doing he walked over.

  “Hey Gerald, the lady already has plans with me man so get to steppin,” he said jokingly. He wasn’t going to let Gerald mess over her, she was too nice a girl for that; he wanted to protect her from the likes of Gerald.

  “Oh excuse me man,” Gerald said, he nodded to Joy and walked over to the car.

  “Thanks, and it was nice to meet you,” Joy said and turned to walk away.

  “Hey, hey, hold up,” he said stopping her, “I was serious, would you like to go out with me next weekend?” He knew Joy deserved better and he had no idea why he did it but protecting Joy was the only thing on his mind and he thought he’d take her out on a few dates, but the next weekend he took her out, and the next. He was studying for his finals, working on his thesis and finding the time to see Joy and he was happy when he should have been stressed, and he kept seeing her during the summer and by the end of the summer he knew whatever life plans he had he included Joy in them. And that fall he enrolled in Princeton’s law school while Joy got her degree in business. He was amazed she was in the Wharton School of Business the best in the nation, pretty and smart; he fell hard for her and every chance he got he went to see her and when he graduated from law school and passed the bar he said, “I got this job lined up in Dallas and I want you with me, we should get married.”

  That September they married and moved to Dallas, and he’d worked hard as a corporate tax attorney for a large firm and then he branched out and opened his own firm with two other attorneys, Abrams, Holmes & Holsted, and Joy worked. She was hired as a General Manager for J. J. Jackson Inc. Mr. Jackson was a black man who owned about eight insurance agencies and hired Joy fresh out of college to run his business operations, “I’m going to take a chance on you Joy,” he’d told her, “The Wharton School can’t have gone wrong turning out a smart girl like you,” and while he was building his business it was Joy’s income that kept them afloat, but last year once his firm took off he had Joy stop working when he saw her leaving one day with tears in her eyes because Lindsey was crying so hard wanting her to stay home. She’d worked for five years and now he was worth millions and new to the games businessmen were playing and his ambition got the better of him and he let the white man have Joy.

  He looked over at her, “So how was it…were you treated well?” He asked in a low voice.

  “It was fine Michael and yes I was treated well,” she said and he looked over at her concerned.

  “Are you okay though, is this something you can handle?”

  “I don’t know Michael, but I’ll do whatever you decide,” she said, but he knew he could. He could play this white man’s game, it was just sex that’s all, and the women he’d been with tonight; he’d had three and they were fun and into it. He enjoyed being with Joy more though, just looking at her behind was enough to get him hard, but to grow his business he might be willing to play this game, but Joy, could he let white men have her? He didn’t know about that, he’d have to think hard on that one.

  Joy sat beside Michael as they rode in the car and she didn’t know what to say to him. How could she say the blue eyed man blew her mind; that the sex she’d had with him was so mind blowing that she was still reeling from the experience; that she felt giddy and if he looked hard at her he’d see her still flushed and heady. She was glad she didn’t know which man it was or she might not be able to look him in his blue eyes if she saw him again.

  Patty and Doug had told them The Club was exclusive, that only certain people were asked to join, all had deep pockets and they found couples all over Texas, and all of them knew to be discreet. Joy knew there were members in their neighborhood, Doug had eluded to that, but of course he didn’t say who and she was glad of that or she would have never considered joining if he had loose lips after promising anonymity. And she wondered too if she could really belong to a sex club, Joy Vincent now Abrams in a sex club? The thought of that didn’t sound real. She was twenty-eight years old and never in her wildest dreams ever thought she would consider something like this. She wasn’t raised that way and she’d never been a loose girl to have sex with any and everybody.

  She had grown up in Point Breeze a section of south Philadelphia and her parents had three daughters and she was the middle child, one year younger than her older sister Sylvie. She was raised in a working class Christian home in suburbia. And being the middle child it was easy for her to get lost in the shuffle. She didn’t ask for much because she knew how hard her parents worked to take care of them. The only reason she went to University of Pennsylvania was because Sylvie went to Howard University in Washington D.C. and her parents kept telling her she might have to put off college for a year or two since they couldn’t afford two girls in college so she worked hard to get an academic scholarship, grants and any other financial aid they would give her,
and she lived at home so she wouldn’t have to pay room and board. She knew it was a good school, Ivy League, the best business school in the country and she wanted that so she’d be assured of a job when she graduated. Her big ambition at the time was to graduate and get a good job. She wanted her own apartment, her own clothes, her own life, that’s all.

  And she hadn’t been that interested in boys or love either, every time she’d ventured in that realm she always came out with her heart bruised and broken. Her mother had told her, had told all of them, “Find somebody who’s worthy of you,” she’d said, “Boys will tell you anything, but find somebody who’s worthy, like your father. I knew he was worthy when he laid his coat down over a muddy puddle so I wouldn’t get my new church shoes dirty, and that was the only coat he had, I knew that, that’s what makes a man worthy, what he’s saying you’re worth to him,” her mother said and before Michael she’d been trying to find someone worthy.

  She had no shortage of boys interested in her; boys had always been interested in her, in all of them. The Vincent girls were known for their beauty and good upbringing. She was raised to be a good girl and had a wholesome goodness about her. But Joy didn’t know aside from her immense beauty the qualities most men were attracted too were her shy smile and soft dark eyes. Her natural inclination was always towards softness, kindness and the good in everything, but those qualities were enhanced by one thing, birth placement. She was the middle child and wasn’t use to being the center of attention, so when others paid attention to her she didn’t know how to deal with it so she shied away.

  And because of what her mother said she dated very little, she was very picky when it came to who she let take her out. She dated some and had hardly experimented sexually. Before Michael she’d only had one lover, and that was counting the one time she did it with Marcus. She hadn’t found too many men worthy of that honor. Marcus made her pay the price for that indiscretion when he told everyone she let him do it to her.

  And when she went to college she hadn’t found too many men she was interested in and by the time she met Michael she had no illusions of love. Michael didn’t have to protect her that night; she had no intention of giving Gerald her number, she was saying “no” to him when Michael came over. And when she started dating Michael her expectation he’d be different was low. She was even surprised he kept their first date. She thought he was being nice when he came over to rescue her from Gerald, so when he made the date she still thought he was being nice. She didn’t even get ready she wasn’t expecting him, but the doorbell rang and the next thing she knew her mother was calling to her.

  “Joy your date’s here!” She looked down from the top of the stairs and saw him and was shocked, “I’ll be down in a second,” she yelled back and hurriedly changed and got herself together, and he kept coming back and she found she loved his confidence, drive and ambition and he was cute too. She’d noticed that at the party, tall, dark brown, bedroom eyes, and sexy as hell, but he was a senior about to graduate and she thought he was too old for her, but he kept coming to see her and by the end of that summer she was totally in love with Michael Abrams and she found him worthy enough to take her bed. Michael was the one who turned her out sexually and made her into the woman she would become; open to her own desires and pleasures.

  And now she didn’t know what to do, Michael was doing this for business she knew that, but the man she’d been with had shocked her. She didn’t know what to expect last night, and so many men came up to her she was terrified and when they introduced themselves there were so many weird names, scary sexy names that alluded to why she was there and then the one man that seemed to understand whispered in her ear, “It’s not as bad as it seems,” and she was thinking really because it seems unreal to me, but he took her by the hand and she felt the strength and sureness in his grasp, and for some reason she knew she’d be alright with him, and she let him lead her to the bedroom and the things that man did to her she was still reeling from.

  Royce went home that morning and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. He was wiped out from his night of pleasure with Joy, and his thoughts of her were of pure pleasure and he chuckled, who knew Joy Abrams had a dirty mouth, “Damn my blue eyed man,” or “Fuck that feels so good,” and his favorite, “I want to fuck you,” his body reacted just thinking of her saying that. He quivered down to his bones with excitement, hearing those words come out of her mouth the way she used them was sexy, sexy, sexy, Joy, Joy, Joy, filled his mind. He hoped she’d join as he lay his head on his pillow. He set his alarm, he had an afternoon golf game with the boys and as he slept he dreamt of Joy. He woke to his alarm frantically going off. As he dressed he smiled at himself in the bathroom mirror, he’d had Joy Abrams, swimming pleasantly through his mind.

  Royce saw them waiting for him when he pulled up at the country club, the anticipation was palpable. They wanted details, information, all of it he could see that, but they had the diplomacy to wait until they were out of earshot on the first tee.

  “So how was it, how was she?” Collin blurted out.

  “A woman is a woman all are the same,” he said casually.

  “Aww man you know what he means!” Bobby chimed in.

  “Yeah, you had her all night!” Eric reminded him.

  “Yeah; you could have at least shared her!” Chris said.

  Royce heard them and he didn’t like how they were talking about her, “Look, Joy Abrams is a fine woman and I will not disparage her or I with the details of what went on at The Club. All of you know that’s personal and private…and I can’t believe you’re asking me to divulge information like that,” he said obviously agitated.

  “Okay then, well if she joins we’ll all get our chance,” Collin said and all of them saw the tightening of his jaw and the anger in his blue eyes and they knew to leave it alone. They were right, the thought of any of them touching her was not something he wanted to contemplate but he knew it was a possibility if she joined and now his earlier thought of hoping she’d join he was rethinking, if she joined any of the members had a chance at her and that didn’t sit well with him. He wanted her and he didn’t want any of them touching her.

  The next month Royce went to The Club hoping to see her, he wanted to get to her before anyone else to make sure she knew she had a choice in this, but they didn’t show. He waited and waited until no one was available. Then he walked like he was heading to the orgy room but instead he went out back by the pool and sat and waited, he decided he’d give Tammy two sessions then he’d have Patty call her. As he sat there he saw couples come out an use the hot tub, warm pool and canopy bed and he held his breath hoping they wouldn’t see him. And the next month he did the same, he waited and watched the front door to see if Joy appeared and she didn’t and again he went to the back patio and sat for two sessions and had Patty call Tammy and the third month the same. He waited and still no Joy and again he went to the back patio for two sessions, and now he was beside himself with wanting her, he called Doug.

  “You know Daisy left the club, have any new members joined?” That was his pretext, “No, but I’m working on a couple you might like,” “From our neighborhood,” and his heart raced. “You know I can’t disclose that, but for you I’ll tell you; no they’re not from our neighborhood,” Doug said and Royce was disappointed, and during that time he came up with ways to see Joy.

  He wanted a glimpse of her and the problem was they didn’t travel in the same circles. He went to the school board meeting those months and sat behind Joy so he could look at her. Last time she asked a question, “If we’re going to computerize everything how are the children going to learn to do anything manually aren’t we taking that away from them, their ability to think things through?” She asked and after the meeting he said, “I agree with you on the computer thing, I think kids should still know how things work and learn how to manipulate things in the real world. Computers break down and you better know how to work without it,” he said and he saw
her looking at him as he spoke. He saw her eyes go to his hair, his eyes, his mouth and he was thinking yes, look at me, see me, I’m the one Joy, I want you to know me, but Tammy blurted in and she lost her focus and the moment was lost.

  Next he took the kids to the country club to hang out. Collin had told him Joy was taking tennis lessons and was usually there Saturday evenings, “Come on, let’s sit outside,” he’d said to them. They balked a little, but he led them to the tables by the tennis courts and he saw Joy, “This table!” He said loudly enough for her to notice him and she did. She looked at him as he sat down and he saw her look at him a little longer than she should, like she was trying to solve a puzzle, and he stared back at her, yes Joy look at me, see me, and then Collin came up to her and diverted her attention and he saw her look at Collin like she had just looked at him and then she smiled.

  Fuck! He thought, she thinks its Collin, and he knew it was possible. Collin had dark hair, except Collin’s was a little shorter, he had blue eyes and he was athletically built, it was possible she would mistake them and it was clear Collin was flirting with her. He was probably pulling some of his James Bondage moves on her.

  Fuck, Fuck! He wanted Joy to know it was him she’d been with and he wanted her to know so he could talk to her and see her again. For the first time in his life he wanted to break the vows of his marriage. He was not a guy who cheated on his wife, once he made the commitment he was all in. He’d always been like that, even dating if he decided he was serious enough about a woman he was hers, but now he desperately wanted an affair with Joy Abrams.

  They didn’t go to the party the next month, and now it had been four months and no Joy and his attempts at getting to her had failed and without giving away his anonymity he had no reason to talk to her, no reason to be around her, so he’d given up and decided he’d live off the memories she’d given him. “I want to fuck you,” he replayed that over and over, especially when he was in the shower and he could touch himself, and the memory would flood his brain and his body would respond, or he’d see Joy holding her legs wide and him deep between them and his body would respond to that too.