Reckless Beat Box Set #2

by Summers, Eden

  “Or that you would be the target.” Ryan gave a sad smile.

  “Not only me. My boss’s company will take a hit because of the mark against my reputation. Julie has also undermined what you’re trying to do with Felicity. You’ll need to release a formal statement about the claims and spin it so the fans think it’s petty jealousy.”

  “I agree.” He squeezed her hand. “But I need to speak to her first. I told my lawyer I’d go to New York with the rest of you tonight and get some answers.”

  No. She stepped back, her heart, mind, and soul refusing to get on board with the thought of him going anywhere near the toxic woman. “If you’re seen, the tabloids will use it against your relationship with Felicity.”

  His shoulder hitched. “That’s a risk I’ll have to take. I can’t have her going after you.”

  “No.” She retreated another step. “We’ve spoken about this. You can’t make decisions based on your feelings for me.”

  “He’s not,” Mason interrupted. “To anyone else, this is merely about his divorce.”

  “And Julie isn’t going to leave me alone unless I see her in person.” Ryan grazed a thumb along her jaw. “So that’s what I’m going to do. We’ll talk, I’ll give her whatever she wants, and then I’ll never see her again. End of story.”

  “She doesn’t deserve a damn thing.”

  “Hear, hear,” Mason muttered. “Have I told you how much I don’t envy your woman situation? The hole you’re digging is getting bigger by the day.”

  “I can handle it.”

  Leah wasn’t so sure. Yes, his fortitude was admirable, but if it came with the price of ignorance, they were in trouble. “Don’t be quick to brush off how monumental this is. There’s a lot of fingers in this pie—Felicity, Hannah, my boss, Grander. Not to mention Blake and Gabi. One wrong move and we’re all in trouble.”

  His lips curved, the acknowledgement gently reassuring as he cupped her cheeks in his palms. “I won’t be quick to brush it off. But you need to remember my promise that nothing is going to stop me from making this work.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ryan nestled into the jet sofa, his head against the arm rest, his legs stretched over the far end, and tugged Leah’s body tighter into his chest. She’d been lying in front of him since they fled the Kansas City runway, her quiet contemplation soothing his soul. The flight was smooth. Quiet. None of the usual post-concert adrenaline was present as his friends waited anxiously to arrive home to their loved ones. He, on the other hand, tried to mentally prepare for the showdown with Julie.

  He’d already called her, and the two-minute conversation hadn’t been what he expected. She was definitely up to something. Her bitchiness had been on hold, her answers almost apologetic when he’d grilled her about the stupidity of the podcast interview.

  “Run away with me,” he whispered, nuzzling into the silken strands of Leah’s hair.

  She glanced over her shoulder, her cheeks lifting, a tiny glimmer of a never before seen dimple. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I’m serious.” At least he could be, depending on her answer. There was too much white noise surrounding them. If they disappeared, maybe the drama would, too. They could start over. Make a new life.

  “And give up Reckless?” She lazily blinked up at him. “You’re crazy.”

  “I’d do it for you.”

  Her smile faltered, the twinge in expression letting him know he’d be on his own if he walked away from his friends. “I’d never forgive you if you left the band. Music means the world to you.”

  “You mean more.” It was the truth. He could give it up. He could walk away from Reckless and never look back because this feeling—with her in his arms, smiling up at him—was beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He wasn’t merely happy, he was at home. This sensation wasn’t neatly packaged into a box titled—Love. It was about devotion. About strength. This thing between them consisted of unfaltering faith and reciprocated vulnerability.

  He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her more than he needed to be on stage. Music would always be there. You couldn’t stop a torrent with a stone. All he’d have to do is find another outlet.

  “And if you walked away,” she whispered, “we’d never see each other. I’d be with Reckless and you’d be somewhere else. The distance you experienced with Julie would start to settle between us. We’d drift apart.” She turned away and nestled further into his chest. “Working together is the best and the worst part of this situation.”

  “I know.” He sighed and nuzzled his face into her hair. “Are you still going to meet with your boss?”

  “No.”

  He closed his eyes and fought against frustration. “Because of Julie?”

  “It’s bad timing. My boss is now annoyed with me for casting a shadow over the company. Telling him how I feel about you, even if I did lie about us already being together, wouldn’t turn out well. It’s best to wait.”

  “How long?”

  “However long it takes. At least until your divorce is final and the tour is over.” She wiggled, turning her body around to face him, her beauty making it hard for him to form a protest. “I don’t want to rush this. I think my initial plan to speak to him was a smidge optimistic to begin with. If I hold off, it will give me more time to find the leverage I need.”

  “And you’re happy to wait?”

  “I have to be.” Her gaze raked his face, the gentle touch of her appraisal filling his chest with heavy beats. “Who knows? By then, it could be better to tell him the truth. If we can be together and not let it get between our working relationship, it might work in our favor.” She gave a sassy smile. “All you need to do is keep your protective nature in check.”

  “That won’t be a problem if Mason shuts his pie hole.”

  She chuckled, the brilliant laughter peppering his lips.

  “Did I hear my name?” the lead singer called from the other side of the cabin.

  “No,” they said in unison and shared goofy grins.

  It was as if the tension had been paused. The drama on hold. They were smiling through the impending onslaught, both content to live in the moment.

  “You know, even with all the crap going on, I’m still the happiest I’ve been in…ever.” She wove an arm around his waist, her fingers gliding under his shirt. “How can I feel this energized when my world is upside down?”

  He had no response. No words, at least. Only a kiss. He tasted her smile and fought for control when her nails dug into his skin. Every inch of him was alive for her. Especially his heart. Her hold was beyond anything he could’ve imagined. When she inched her mouth away he waited, thankful for the pause in proceedings so he could leash his dick.

  “When are you meeting with Julie and your lawyers?”

  “There’s no lawyers. I’m going to the apartment.”

  She caught her expression a second too late, allowing him a glimpse of her disapproval.

  “Don’t worry. I can handle her.”

  “You’re too sweet, Ryan.” She lowered her gaze, focusing on his beard. “She’ll manipulate you.”

  “Let her try. I’m already prepared.” He leaned down, reclaiming those sweet lips with a quick peck. “She has no hold over me anymore.”

  She whimpered, their noses brushing. “Will you call me afterward?”

  “As soon as I leave. I promise.”

  Her mouth tentatively glided back and forth, her teasing tongue adding to the delirious mix. “You’ve promised a lot.”

  “Mmm.” He nipped at her, earning a gasp. “I’ll promise you everything.”

  “And I’ll take it. I want everything you have to give, Ryan. And everything I have is yours in return.”

  He nudged his knee between her legs, parting her pants-covered thighs. “Everything?” he whispered. “How ’bout another pair of panties to add to my collection?”

  She laughed. “Everything but those. At least while we’re in the air.”

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nbsp; He deepened the kiss and cupped the back of her head. Her moan slid down his throat, through his stomach, directly to his cock. Sharp nails dug into his flesh, scarring skin as she ground her pelvis against his thigh.

  “Cut it out, you two.”

  He ignored Blake and kept her head in place, unwilling to let her go. On the jet it was easy. They could shut the door to the hostess area, flick the do-not-disturb light, and act like the world didn’t exist. Professionalism would steal her away soon enough and he doubted he would get another chance to taste her until they rejoined the tour.

  “We should critique them until they stop,” Mitch suggested.

  Ryan responded by lowering his hand from her hair, down her back to cup her ass. Critique that, motherfuckers.

  “Cut them a break,” Sean added. “Let them enjoy their slice of heaven.”

  “And what about our living hell?” came from Mason. “I caught an eye-full of Ryan’s dick last night.”

  “I thought you liked dick?” Sean had a death wish. “At least the poll on Twitter says you do.”

  Leah pulled back, her bright eyes staring up at him. “If they’re trying to stop me from wanting to kiss you, they’re failing. I could stay here forever.”

  He grinned and the resounding silence meant Mason must’ve responded to Sean with a middle finger gesture. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  This time her smile faltered, the happiness fracturing. She closed her eyes and nestled into his chest. “I’m going to catch some Zs before we land. Can I use you as a pillow?”

  He rested his chin against the top of her head and pulled her close, resigning himself to the limited time they had before arrival. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Chapter Twenty

  His apartment key slid into the lock. Why? He’d tested the fit as a joke, a little confirmation to Julie’s bitchiness, and he’d been proven wrong. He’d assumed updating the security would’ve been a high priority on his wife’s divorce schedule. Apparently not. He turned the handle, pushed inside, and returned to the contempt of a failed marriage all with a simple step over the threshold.

  “Julie?” He kicked off his shoes and padded onto the plush carpet. “It’s me.”

  “I’m in the kitchen.”

  He continued past his retired guitars still on display in the hall, their glossy shine letting him know she’d polished them during his absence. Her care didn’t make sense. And the Betty Crocker scent of caramel and chocolate floating through the air made him nervous. His wife didn’t cook. At least, not for him.

  “You didn’t change the locks.” He walked through the kitchen doorway and acknowledged his body’s lack of response to the sight of her. There was no anger, no disappointment, no attraction. The mountain of emotions he’d once harbored over this woman was now a void.

  She turned to him, her loose dress dancing over her thighs. Her hair was different, colored to a dark brown with light highlights, the length now resting an inch above her shoulders. “I couldn’t bring myself to sever the final link between us.”

  He withheld a scoff. “After your bitter online interview, I expected you to have burned or buried all the stuff I left behind.”

  She reached for a cloth and began cleaning the flour from the counter. “It was the only way I could get your attention. You’ve blocked every attempt I’ve made to get in contact with you, and I knew, once I got the band involved, they’d send you home to deal with me.”

  “This isn’t my home anymore, Julie. If you want more from the divorce settlement, you need to take it to my lawyer.”

  “That’s not what I want.”

  “Then what is it? Why am I here?”

  She lowered her gaze and reached for the tray of freshly baked cookies. “Want one?”

  “No.” God, no. He wanted a signature and an amicable farewell. Not a damn cookie. “Tell me why I’m here.” He stepped further into the room and took the divorce settlement from the back pocket of his jeans.

  “I needed to see you.” She cleared her throat. “I wanted to tell you I made a mistake.”

  “Which one?” The barb escaped without thought. “Marrying me? Or waiting too long to call it quits?”

  “My mistake was letting you go.”

  “Excuse me?” Her revelation didn’t faze him. It couldn’t. Not when he was lost to someone else.

  “I made a mistake when I asked for a divorce.”

  “No.” He shook his head and shot his attention to the kitchen window, unable to face her. He wasn’t going to do this. Not now. Not when she’d already dragged him through weeks of hell. Years of heartache. “I’m not in the mood for games.” He placed the stapled pages on the counter and slid them toward her. “If you read over this, you’ll find it’s a fair settlement.”

  “You’re not listening.” She slid the pages back. “I no longer want a divorce.”

  “Don’t do this.” He tried to keep his cool, tried to remain civil and in control even though his subconscious was demanding he leave the fray.

  “I was hormonal,” she pleaded. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Yeah, you were. You were thinking about how miserable we were. You were thinking about how you resented my career and hated me being away from home all the time. You were thinking that we’d gone too far to come back, and you were right.”

  “No.” Remorse filled her eyes. “We haven’t gone too far. I just had to realize how wrong I was. I needed space to clear my head.”

  “And while you took your time to figure it out, I moved on.”

  “I don’t believe you.” She shook her head. “That woman isn’t your type.”

  No, Felicity wasn’t, but Leah sure was. Leah was everything. She was the light in the darkness. The stability in a building tsunami.

  “I want you to come home, Ryan.”

  He cringed.

  “Not right now,” she blurted. “I realize you’re on tour. But once that’s over…”

  “Stop saying ‘home’ when you know full-well I haven’t been welcome here for a damn long time.” He couldn’t remember when she’d officially kicked him out of their bedroom. He’d been relegated to the couch or the spare bedroom, only getting a temporary return pass when she wanted a physical fix. Once the sex was over he always got shoved back to the doghouse.

  She wasn’t entirely to blame. He’d willingly taken her shit. He’d gone along with it because he harbored the guilt of all their problems.

  “Trust me. We’ll be happier once the divorce is final.” He took a one last visual sweep of the place they’d bought when happiness had still been a part of their lives. He relived the few fading memories of love and hoped they didn’t disappear entirely. Then he turned on his heel and headed for the hall.

  “Ryan.” His name was a plea. “Please stop.”

  He paused, her agonizing tone making him glance over his shoulder. The slightest shift in her position made his heart seize. The light streaming through the window hit her at a different angle. The tiniest change in perception turning his world upside down. She stood tall, her hand sliding over her abdomen, the placement pulling her loose dress tight over a rounded belly. The air left his lungs in a heave and he thought his stomach would follow suit.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  His blood infused with adrenaline, the heavy pulse of awe keeping him immobile. In an instant his life changed. Clarity skewed, perspective morphed, responsibility became a heavy weight, and fear and longing collided. In one revelation she crushed his dreams for a future with Leah and taunted him with the opportunity of a family.

  “You’re going to be a father.”

  Those words… That belly…

  “How long?” He voiced the doubt bubbling to the forefront.

  She lifted her chin, her hand possessive over her abdomen. “Five months.”

  A knife stabbed deep into his chest, piercing skin and sinew. They’d slept together in that time. Once or twice, depending on the validity of his shadowy me
mories. Both emotionless sexual experiences he didn’t want to associate with the conception of a child.

  “I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks, but you wouldn’t answer my calls. I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else, but the bump is getting too big to hide.” She stared at the hand on her stomach, a maternal smile curving her lips. “We’re going to have a baby.”

  The knife plunged deeper, through arteries and organs.

  He’d endured loveless years in the hope of hearing those words. He’d gone to sleep not alone, but lonely for nights on end. He’d thought about baby names, and if he’d be a good parent, and if his child would grow to resent his career like his wife did.

  Becoming a father had been his dream, and now it resembled a nightmare.

  “I…” He swallowed, hard, the moisture barely coating the gravel in his throat. “I need to…” What? What did he need? Time? Clarity? A bigger set of balls to call bullshit on her manipulative announcement?

  “Don’t you want to feel her kick?”

  “Her?” Images of little girls and pigtails blinded him. The echo of feminine giggles and a sweet voice calling him daddy filled his ears. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop his limbs from shaking.

  She stepped forward, offering the bow of her belly.

  “Don’t.” He held up a hand, unwilling to connect with his child while he was in a state of shock.

  “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

  “It is… It was.” He shook his head to fight the lack of concentration. “I…”

  “Is this about that other woman?” She took another step. “You don’t love her, Ryan. I know you don’t.”

  No, he didn’t love Felicity. But he did love Leah. With all his heart, spare the newly forming extra beat now sounding for a child he’d never met.

  “I want you to come back to me so we can be a family.” She was poisoning him. Each word killing the plans he’d had for the future. “I want this to work.”