In His Place: Sonic Idols Book #2
Page 19
She stood there. Like a statue. The blank stare on her face made me wonder if she was actually crazy. I stared back, giving no quarter. She wouldn’t manipulate me again.
Eventually, she shrugged. “Well, you have to admit, it was fun while it lasted. Shame we didn’t have sex. I’m really good at that too.�
I was determined not to let her get the last word. “Goodbye, Roberta. Go call your brother and tell him everything. He’ll be so proud of you, I’m sure.� I could’ve done with a bucket for the sarcasm dripping from my words.
She grabbed the rope for her robe from the bed, turned, and left the room, slamming the door behind her in one last defiant move.
Once she was gone, I collapsed onto the bed with my head in my hands, wondering if—and hoping that—what had just happened was by some chance a twisted fucking dream. And furthermore, realising the irony of the lyrics to the song we had danced to at the end of the night.
Love didn’t just bite, it pulverised.
Chapter 37
Si
*
Standing in Den and Roger’s room, I felt like utter shit interrupting their honeymoon. Okay, so it wasn’t really a honeymoon as such. It was the morning after the wedding and they weren’t going anywhere apart from on to the next gig of our UK tour. But I still felt bad.
Once I had finished explaining what Bobbie had done, Den gave a horrified gasp. “That little bitch! I can’t believe she played you like that, Si. Are you going to be okay? I know you liked her a lot.�
Roger interjected, “But don’t worry about finding a new tech. I know people. We’ll get it sorted for you ASAP.�
I held up my hands, filled with guilt. “Look, guys, don’t worry about it all now. I don’t want to spoil things for you. This is your special time. I just thought you should know, that’s all.�
Den placed his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, when have I ever turned you away? And of course we need to know. But you’re spoiling nothing. We have plenty of time for romance, don’t we, Rog?�
“Hell yes, we do.�
“And I know I’m your manager, Si, but we’re family too. Maybe not by blood, but I chose you boys as my family and Roger gets that. Don’t you, Rog?�
His husband grinned. “Oh, boy, do I? I feel like I’ve adopted Sonic Idols as part of the package deal!�
Relief flooded my veins, and for the first time in twelve hours, I began to relax.
“Seriously though, Si, are you okay? That was a low thing she did, that Bobbie, Bertrand, or bobblehead. Whatever the hell her real name was.�
I chuckled at his bizarre choice of names but nodded. “I’ll be fine. I’ve just learned the hard way not to trust new people though. I still can’t believe the lies. And the fact that she preyed on my grief over Joe.�
And I really couldn’t. How could someone be so fucking cruel and manipulative?
Den squeezed my shoulders. “Hey, not every girl you meet will be like that. She was a one off. Believe me.�
I wished I could believe him but I knew it would be a while before I would make myself so vulnerable again. I could already feel the walls building up around me.
I shrugged. “Yeah, let’s hope so. Anyway, you guys enjoy the last couple of honeymoon hours you’ve got left. I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head.�
“Good plan, lad. We’re setting off for Newcastle just after lunch. Roger will get you a drum tech sorted.�
Roger, who was clutching his phone, waved and nodded. “On it like a car bonnet, chuck.�
I thanked them both again and left them to it. I passed by my room to grab my shades and hat and then I set off to explore the cute village we were staying in.
I’d heard lots about Gretna Green and the fact that couples would elope to the village to marry without their parents’ consent. As I stood outside the Blacksmiths Shop, I wondered just how many love stories had culminated in this quaint little white building. I stepped inside to the part that was now used as museum to display memorabilia from the weddings that had taken place over the years and imagined what it must be like to be so desperate to be with someone that you would travel hundreds of miles from home to make it official, regardless of what others thought. Instead of dread at such musings, my heart warmed. To love so fiercely and be loved back in equal measure must be the most amazing feeling a human being can experience. I immediately thought of Allie and the lengths I would’ve gone to just to be with her, regardless of what others had to say. Moot point, but it didn’t stop me thinking.
As I read the letters on display from those who had crossed the border to take advantage of Scotland’s marriage laws back then, I wondered if marriage was an outdated institution now. As far back as 1754, couples had run away to commit themselves to each other on this very spot, and yet here I was in the twenty-first century, with all its modern-day trappings, unable to find a sane woman to love me unconditionally. But there really were still people who felt that marriage cemented their relationship and believed wholeheartedly in it. As I explored my feelings, I realised that, in spite of the shit Bobbie had put me through, and in spite of the fact I couldn’t be with the one I truly loved, I was one of those people.
���
Once we were back on the road, I breathed a sigh of relief. Performing was my safe haven. I knew where I was on a stage surrounded by my guys. No fear, no tension, just fun and the rhythm.
I stared out of the window and watched as we crossed the border into England, and the landscape changed from hills and fields to houses and industry.
The seat dipped beside me. “Hey, Si. How you doing, mate?� I turned to see Nick’s concerned, crumpled stare fixed on me.
I shrugged. “I’m okay, I think. Still a bit pissed off, but I’ll survive.�
He sighed and shook his head. “I still can’t believe she turned out to be such an evil witch. You really didn’t deserve that. It’s a bloody good thing Den fired her or I certainly would have.�
“It’s okay. I’m just glad she’s gone.�
Nick fell silent for a while and we both stared at the morphing landscape passing by us.
He eventually spoke again. “So… have you heard from Allie lately?�
I heaved a defeated sigh at being reminded of the one woman that, without a doubt, I could trust. “Nah. She’s got a new man in her life.�
“Ah. Sorry about that. I wish things could’ve been different for you two.�
I was surprised by his comment and turned to face him fully. “You do? I mean… you don’t think it would’ve been weird? Me and her being together with Joe being her… and me being his…?�
Nick shook his head and frowned. “Si, you can’t help who you fall in love with. Simple as that. I just wish she had felt the same.�
And once again, I was reminded that, although I loved Allie with all my heart, hers now belonged to someone else.
���
“Good evening, Newcastle! Are you ready to roooock?� Loud screams and cheers ensued in response to Nick’s question. “Yeah? Yeah? Well, are you ready to get… HOT AND HEAVY?�
I laughed as I strained to hear my kit above the thousands of piercing voices and my heart hammered at my chest, fuelled purely by adrenaline. Nick turned to grin at me and I pointed one stick at him as I beat the snare with the other and pounded my foot on the base pedal.
The night was going so well, and as always, for a few short hours, I was Si the rock star, drummer heartthrob, not Si the loser, recently betray
ed by a psycho bitch.
Nick stomped the stage like the pro he was and began to announce the eighth song on our playlist. “This next song goes out to everyone who’s been lied to and cheated on. To everyone who trusted and got betrayed. But it also goes out to everyone who fought back and rose above.� He turned to face me again. “This one’s for you, Si!�
Oh, fuck. Nick had just announced to the world… well, Newcastle… that I had been crapped on from a great height by someone. I know he meant well, but I made a mental note to slap him after the show.
I hit out the heartbeat rhythm of “No Going Back� and Nick began to sing the scathing lyrics as if Bobbie could hear him. For the first time ever, I could relate to the song that Chris had penned after being cheated on by a famous fashion model.
Your beauty may have knocked me from my feet
But you broke my heart with lies and deceit
You wanted fame and fortune to make you whole
Just a silly little girl with beauty but no soul
*
Now you say you’re sorry for what you lack
Well, it’s too late honey
‘Cause there’s no going back
*
No going back
No, you won’t break me
No going back
It took your cruel lies to wake me
No going back
So who’s the loser now?
No going back
And I’ll make it through
Yeah, I know how
Chapter 38
Allie
*
The arena was packed and everyone was jumping to each and every beat Si hit out. I was surrounded by so many smiling face, all singing the Sonic Idols’ words back to them. I almost burst with the pride I felt for the guys I had once known so well.
It had been too long since I had seen them play live, and I had been so excited that I managed to get a ticket for their Newcastle arena show just before they sold out. I had been there all those years ago when they penned “Hot ’n’ Heavy� and I loved the fact it was still a fan favourite after all this time.
I had a great view of the stage from my position on the second tier to the side and watched Si as his muscles worked hard and a sheen of sweat covered his toned body. He wasn’t glancing into the wings like he was when I watched on TV, and I wondered where his new wife was. Maybe she wasn’t here tonight. Maybe she had tired of the performances already. Although, I sincerely doubted that. Regardless of the songs being the same, every show was different. Or at least, that’s how I remembered them. No. She must be here somewhere.
When I had arrived at the arena, I had toyed with the idea of making my presence known to the band, but the thought of coming face to face with Si’s blushing new bride would’ve been too painful. So I resolved to watch from a safe distance. Then, after the show, I would return home to Kelso and get on with my life. I had to put the whole Si business behind me. My realisations had come too late so what choice did I have?
Towards the end of the concert, I was wrung out emotionally as almost every lyric of every song had spoken to me on a personal level. Then Nick addressed his adoring fans.
“This next song goes out to everyone who’s been lied to and cheated on. To everyone who trusted and got betrayed. But it also goes out to everyone who fought back and rose above.� He turned to face Si on the drum podium. “This one’s for you, Si!�
My heart and stomach plummeted towards the floor in unison. What did Nick just say? I glanced around me as if the rest of the fans would be able to shed light on the matter. But of course, they were completely oblivious to me and the reasons I was staring open-mouthed and wide-eyed at the stage.
Was Nick joking? Or had Si just had his heart broken? Was it his new wife who had been the heartbreaker or was he—and I hoped not—talking about me and the way I had seemingly toyed with Si’s affections?
Confusion clouded my mind and my breathing accelerated until I was almost hyperventilating. Panic gripped me and I had to get out. I had to find out what the hell was going on but didn’t know how to get to the truth. There could be two very different meanings to Nick’s cryptic comments but I had to know for certain which it was.
Panting and with blurred vision, I shoved my way through the crowd towards the exit, where a security guard stopped me. “Are you all right, pet?�
I glanced up at his worried expression and nodded. “Oh… yes, I’m fine. I just need to leave.�
“Can I get you some water? You look awfully pale considering how hot it is in there.�
I waved my hand dismissively and shook my head but smiled. “No. No, really. I’m fine. Or I will be once I get to my car.�
“Aye, all right, pet. I’ll get the door for you.� He pushed the exit open and I stepped out into the chilled evening air.
“Thank you.� I peered around the car park and realised I had come out of the wrong exit. I set off running around the outskirts of the building until I located the correct parking area. By the time I reached my car, I collapsed against the door, thankful for the coldness of the metal against my heated skin. I was breathless and my face was damp with sweat. I opened my car door and climbed inside to sit for a moment and catch my breath. Once I felt human again, I stuck the key in the ignition with shaking hands and turned the engine on before heading out of the car park and following the signs for Leeds.
���
At half past eleven that night, I pulled the car to a halt outside the Delaney’s home. I suppose I could’ve just called, but whatever was going on, it felt necessary to hear it direct. I turned off the engine and tried to calm my rising nerves again.
I rested my head on the steering wheel. “Ugh, what the hell are you doing, Allie? Are you totally bloody insane? Well, you are talking to yourself so there’s a very good chance of that. Come on. It’s now or never.�
On weak, shaking legs, I climbed out of the car and walked up to the front door. I tapped lightly so as not to wake the whole neighbourhood and then waited.
A light came on inside the house and Si’s dad opened the door, greeting me with a worry-filled expression. “Allie? Is everything okay, love?�
“Y-yes… erm… no. I just…�
He held out his hand. “Come on in. You look terrible.�
“Who is it, love?� Si’s mum called from the top of the stairs. When she saw me, she dashed down. “Allie, sweetheart, what on earth are you doing here at this time of night? Are you okay? What’s happened?�
Mr Delaney patted his wife’s arm. “Take her through to the lounge. I’ll make some tea.�
I followed Mrs Delaney into the familiar, friendly room, and we both sat.
“I’m so sorry to turn up unannounced like this. I don’t know why I didn’t just call. I suppose I was part of the way here anyway. Newcastle isn’t far,� I rambled.
“No, it’s fine, love. You’re welcome here any time, you know that. But you’re worrying me. Why were you in Newcastle? What’s going on?� I sat silently staring at her, trying to figure out what to say so I didn’t sound completely crazy. “Allie?�
I rubbed my hands over my face. “I… erm… oh, God. You’re going to think I’m a lunatic.�
Mr Delaney reappeared with three steaming mugs clutched awkwardly in his fingers and he placed one down for each of us.
I took a deep breath and began. “I was at Si’s concert in Newcastle. At the arena. He was brilliant. But…�
“But what, sweetheart?�
I flitt
ed my glance between the two worried-looking people across from me. “Can I ask you something and can you be completely honest with me?�
Mr Delaney nodded. “Always, love. Always.�
I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut as if it would ease what was to come, and I blurted. “Has Si’s wife left him?�
Silence.
I opened my eyes again to find his parents gaping at me.
His dad spoke first. “S-Si got married?�
Mrs Delaney burst into tears. “And he didn’t even bother to tell us? I can’t believe he would do such a thing. We’ve always been so close. We’re his parents.�
If I wasn’t utterly confused before, I certainly was now. “But… I thought you knew?�
Mr Delaney’s face was bright red and I couldn’t tell if it was bubbling rage or heartbreak causing it. “We knew nothing about it, Allie. He’s not known the girl that long. That’s probably why he didn’t mention it. Knew we’d say he was mad jumping in to a wedding. Bloody hell. I wonder if she’s pregnant.� He shook his head.
Good grief, is everyone losing their marbles? “But, last time I called you said he was excited about the wedding.�
Mr Delaney nodded as his wife continued to sob. “Yes, that’s right. He was.�
Overcome with equal measures of exhaustion and exasperation I lifted my arms and let them drop again. “Well then you did know!�
Mr Delaney frowned and leaned towards me. “We knew about Den and his wedding but it doesn’t mean Si had to jump into having one too. And to not even bloody tell us!� His voice became louder as anger began to win over his emotions.
Then the penny dropped.
I held up my hands. “H-hang on. It was Den getting married? You were talking about Den when I called? Not Si?�