Ghosts, Monsters and Madmen

by D. Nathan Hilliard

  I stopped in mid-stretch when I heard The Lady scream.

  The sound caused me to instantly rocket down the hall and towards the back door before I even took the time to think about it. The Lady sat atop our family, and what terrified her counted as a concern to us all. The back door stood open, so I changed my course from the laundry room to the direct path outside.

  The Lady stood in the middle of the back yard, hands covering her mouth. She stared at The Child’s jungle gym with eyes widened in horror. She gulped air from behind her cupped hands, her face ashen in obvious shock. I followed her gaze, to see the source of her distress, and came to a stop with my heart in my throat.

  The swings of the jungle gym were tangled together, their chains knotted together about five feet off the ground. Chipper’s limp form hung in the middle of that tangle, his face frozen in one final snarl.

  Behind and above us, the birdhouse frowned down from where it squatted on its pole.

  ###

  “Ho, Minke!” Pancake greeted from his perch atop the BBQ grill, “Did I just witness you in conversation with the brown lab over yonder fence?”

  The big orange tabby strove for a posture of curious disdain, but achieved only a measure of lazy diffidence. The charged air of another impending storm had his long fur sticking out in all sorts of inconvenient ways. He had a full time job just looking presentable without putting on airs.

  “Indeed,” I growled while stalking down the top of the fence, “and a futile exercise it turned out to be. His instincts tell him little more than Chipper’s did. I need a dog that still has conversation with his ancestors, not just occasional dreams about them.”

  “Ah, the thing in the birdhouse,” he replied knowingly while scratching his ear, “I don’t know if you will find much help on that matter. Voxie says that the poodle she lives with knows nothing, and you can hear the confusion in the howls of Cally the Boxer and those two terriers that Patches has to live with. Besides, ‘tis a matter for dogs and no concern of ours.”

  I stopped at the corner of the fence and considered this.

  “It has become a matter for me,” I admitted, “although the why of it still tasks me. Nevertheless, that is the situation of things and I will act on it. There is yet one dog to be heard from, and if appearances are to be believed, I wager his ancestors speak louder to him than mere hunches and dreams.”

  “Harlin?” Pancake looked up from his grooming in alarm, “You can’t be serious! Two cats have died in his jaws, and he once mauled a human unwise enough to enter his yard at night!”

  “Then I shall endeavor not to enter his yard,” I replied more stoutly than I felt, “but if this devil holds the secret of Chipper’s death, and the threat to my home, then I must have it out of him.”

  Pancake washed his paw and eyed me with open speculation as I resumed my journey down the fence line. I left him to his business, and focused on the encounter ahead.

  The thought of confronting Harlin scared me right to the tip of my tail. Every cat and dog in the neighborhood understood that his reputation as a killer came as no accident. He didn’t live in the neighborhood proper, but at a small trailer in the woods next to the subdivision. A short chain link fence surrounded the trailer, and Harlin was known to lie chained and in wait under the trailer itself.

  I hoped the chain held.

  Leaping off the fence, I crossed the empty midday neighborhood street and slunk into the forest on the other side. Slowing my walk, I crept through the leaves and twigs which might betray me with an inadvertent rustle or snap. There always existed the chance that Harlin might be free, and I needed to be ready to react at an instant’s notice. My only chance would be to get up a tree before he got the chance to snag a leg or my tail. A split second too late and I would just be a patch of blood and shredded tufts of fur on the ground.

  The smell of wet leaves from the trees mingled with the acrid stench of dog excrement coming from ahead. The steady drip from the sodden woods provided a constant background which masked far too many noises for my comfort. Patches of silver from the trailer started to show between the trees in front of me as I sneaked forward. A dim flash briefly lightened the gloom, and the growl of thunder soon followed. Using the rumble to cover my steps, I made a quick dash up beside a tree next to the chain link fence. I now crouched closer to Harlin’s yard than any neighborhood animal had ventured in years. Flattening my ears against my head, in order to present as low a profile as possible, I peeked around the tree…

  …just as Harlin hit the fence in front of me at full roar!

  I sprang back as the fence bowed toward me, a huge dark form with flashing teeth straining at the links. The great maw tried to close a bare inch from my face, held apart by those links, as its breath flattened my whiskers. I looked right into the jaws of death itself, before the strength of the fence asserted itself and the great dog was pushed back.

  Harlin was a German Shepherd mix of some kind. His coat shone darker than a normal dog of his breed, and his eyes glowed like feral yellow lamps in his black face. His snarl filled the woods like a full throated howl of fury, directed at me as I landed a good four feet from where I previously stood.

  “Hold, beast!” I screamed. “I come not to mock you, nor be eaten by you either! Stay your jaws and heed me a moment!”

  “Heed you, Ratchaser?!” he growled, pulling at his chain so hard I could actually hear the leather of his collar creak, “I would rather heed the taste of your blood on my teeth!”

  “Well that you shan’t have,” I hissed, “for tonight I prepare to face what may be even a greater threat than you, O Wolf Amongst Dogs. And it is to you I turn for counsel…fool that I am…and the counsel of your ancestors.”

  “What interest have I in the matters of cats, Grey Morsel? Any enemy of yours poses no concern to me.”

  “It is a matter for dogs,” I retorted, “at least according to the dog I lived with. But Chipper is now dead and it appears the matter has fallen to me. I chafe at this burden, for it is not in my nature to bear it. Yet bear it, I do.”

  “Ahhhh!” the beast exhaled, now pacing up and down the fence, his eyes never leaving my throat, “so it is in your domain that the boggart has taken refuge. And it has killed the little dog too, eh? That is no surprise. The house muddled pup probably had no idea what he faced.”

  “Speak with respect, Chained One. He showed courage in fighting that which he did not know, while I have seen you do nothing but snarl at a cat. Perhaps I was mistaken, and your ancestors have only taught you the art of threatening rabbits.”

  “What purpose would be served by me telling you about the creature that haunts your abode, and causes the lesser dogs of the area to howl in their ignorance?”

  “So that I might fight it, and stop it from causing more harm.”

  “And why would you, a cat, do that?”

  “I don’t know!” I yowled, “But it has fallen to me to do this thing!”

  For a moment, Harlin just stared at me. Then he seemed to reach some kind of decision.

  “Fences!” the great dog snarled. “Humans have created a world of fences, and now something from before that world has returned! Know this, O cat, what you face comes from a time when men lived in houses of sticks, grasses, and skins. It was dogs such as I that kept it from stealing into their homes and smothering their children. It was dogs such as I that guarded their camps and stopped them from lighting fires in their roofs of thatch. And it was dogs such as I that hunted them down before they could foul a pool or stream with their poisonous offal. It has been called by words such as “Imp” or “Goblin” but those words have been used for many things. It is an elemental form of malice, a nasty aspect of the primeval, and it hates all those who live under roofs and warm themselves at fires. I have smelled its taint on the wind, and my ancestors have shown me its nature. So go to your doom, cat, for it is such as I who should be dealing with this thing. But if you survive, come back to tell me your tale, and perhaps I w
ill have this collar off by then.”

  With a grunt, he turned and started back toward the trailer.

  I rose and turned to leave myself. What I learned featured little of use, but I felt relieved to have this trial behind me.

  And that’s when the fence exploded behind me.

  Harlin hit it at full speed again, snarling like a dog insane, and bowed it once more toward me. This time the bottom came loose from the ground, and he pushed his head through the opening with jaws gaping wide. The chain stretched further than the perimeter of the fence! I barely escaped the jaws that snapped shut at my heels, and shot back into the woods at full run. Behind me I heard Harlin’s snarl.

  “Run, Ratchaser! Run to your doom! And if the boggart doesn’t eat you, then perhaps someday I shall!”

  Frightened out of my wits, I ran across the street without even looking and didn’t slow down until I leaped upon the fence leading back to my house. Only then did I pause to catch my breath, and to calm myself with some grooming. At this rate, I would never get all my fur in place again.

  “Minke, have you suffered injury?”

  I looked up in surprised pleasure. Further down the fence that faced the road, Saipan sat with elegant grace on a post. Although old by cat standards, the gentle Siamese still moved with effortless poise as she left her perch and approached me. Somehow, the breeze didn’t seem to disturb her fur like it did mine. I inclined my head in respectful submission to her, since she reigned as the formal matriarch of all cats in the neighborhood.

  “Fortune was with me, Mother Saipan. I received nothing but a scare.”

  “Indeed,” she purred, rubbing cheek to cheek with me, “and why does Minke risk conversing with that most dangerous of canines? Know this, Grey One, Pancake has already told me of your inquisition of the neighborhood dogs…so tell me no lies.”

  If I lived through tonight, Pancake was going to get his ears boxed.

  “It is the thing that killed Chipper, Mother Saipan. I wanted to know of it, so that I might know better how to face it.”

  “It is a matter for dogs, Minke.” Her turquoise eyes held gentle reproach, “This is not a spoor for cats to track.”

  “But the dogs are fenced, Mother!” I almost wailed. “Chipper begged me to protect The Child, and I am all that stands between her and this thing!”

  “It is not your burden, Minke. Nor is it your nature,” she gently commanded. “Chipper was your bond friend, but you are not bound to his ways. Mourn him as you must, but remain yourself. Do you understand?”

  I bent my head. Saipan spoke wisdom, just like she always did. She accepted my gesture of submission with gracious elegance, and moved on down the fence towards her house.

  I hoped someday she would forgive me for the disobedience I intended to commit.

  ###

  No moon shone this evening, as the thick clouds sealed the sky from all celestial sources of light. The night brooded black as pitch, but my eyes were made for stages such as this. Once again, the wind whipped the trees and sent leaves and twigs flying through the air. I detected the scent of approaching rain, interspersed with the smoke of somebody’s fireplace, but knew it to be a little while away. I almost hoped the thing in that birdhouse made its move soon, as I did not feel eager to sit out in a downpour. I crouched against the roof of The Lady’s house and peered with ever so much care over the crown of the roof to watch the home of the monster.

  Like the night before, the howls of several neighborhood dogs reached my ears over the rush of the wind. They didn’t tell me anything I already didn’t know, though. I could sense the malevolence coming from that birdhouse myself now. Whatever rested in there had wakened, and now looked out with hungry eyes. The time now came for me to be rock still, and patient. The birdhouse itself was a dark shape, weaving back and forth in the wind. Only the tip of my tail twitched as I watched it swing.

  Then what little light spilled out into the back yard from the house vanished, as The Lady turned out her bedroom light to go to bed.

  I flattened my ears and dropped my chin down till it touched the shingles. With my eyes narrowed, I kept focused on my target. I knew that The Lady tended to fall asleep in almost no time at all, and suspected the creature possessed some instinct or sense that let him know when his victims slept. Barring some unforeseen event, I felt certain the thing would be leaving its lair soon.

  My hunch proved to be correct.

  I suddenly noticed the dim outline of the birdhouse looked different against the black sky. It appeared rounder, as if something now squatted atop it in the wind. Another faint chorus of howls told me that the nearby dogs also sensed that their ancient nemesis now came out to prowl. I strained my eyesight to the limit, trying to make out the shape of the thing against the night sky. I didn’t dare move to get a better look, as my chances of survival tonight depended on surprise.

  A blur of movement against the black sky told me that it had jumped down to the fence running along the side of the back yard and the house. It could just be made out, an oddly shaped shadow moving along the top of the fence before disappearing around the corner of the house. It didn’t matter though, because I now knew the path it intended to take. I immediately ran down to the dome of the living room skylight and crouched near it. Muscles tensed like springs, I waited with breath abated as I heard the rustle of it climbing the tree to the roof. It intended to use the chimney to gain entrance again. I heard the scrabble of paws or feet on shingle, and the thing crawled into view on the crown of the roof.

  For a split second I froze, stunned by the surprise of its appearance. It had a simple round mass serving as both head and torso, and four multi-jointed legs sprouting up from that mass like some misshapen spider. The end of those legs ended in hands, just like those of a human, and dark brown hair covered the entire creature. Two cruel red eyes glowed from the front of the thing, and I could make out a toothsome mouth grinning under the fur as well. The thing came to about the size of a young human child.

  The abomination crabbed its way along the top of the roof toward the chimney, muttering in some obscene tongue. A thick thread of saliva trailed from its lips, as if it anticipated some approaching feast. The monster’s eyes seemed to widen with lustful hunger while that horrid mouth grinned as it approached the chimney. Now that it knew the dog no longer lived, the thing obviously expected a clear approach at its target tonight.

  It never saw me coming.

  I landed with all my weight, and the most horrific scream I could muster, right on top of it. I drove my front claws down into the thing’s face, while biting deep into the joint where one of those legs joined its body. My rear legs went to work in an instant, raking to disembowel with all of my strength. The creature emitted an unearthly shriek of pain and surprise, and tried to buck me off.

  It was strong, much stronger than me, but I expected that. I held on with all my might, and tore loose a gobbet of vile flesh from the joint I had bitten into. The second, louder shriek it ripped out let me know that the thing had been done real harm. The monster fought and tore at me with its hands, but I held a position it found difficult to reach. Again I bit into the joint of its leg, and received the added feeling of my claws finding one of its eyes. Now the thing screamed in earnest, and fought with crazed fury to get me off.

  It finally succeeded, but in its pain and confusion it forgot to maintain a grip on me and merely threw me away from it. I rolled, came to my feet, and started stalking towards it.

  “A cat?” The monster gobbled in a strange tongue. It spoke in words like a human, but somehow I understood the words, “This is no business of cats!”

  One of its eyes was shut, and it walked with an odd gait on its wounded leg.

  “It is I who have business with you, filth,” I snarled before launching myself straight at the thing’s face.

  The creature moved quick, maybe quicker than a dog, and it managed to catch me with one of its hands just as I latched onto it again. Unfortunately for i
t, that meant I still managed to once again bite deep into the top of its body, while my rear legs now raked the things face. Unfortunately for me, it meant the monster could now bring its superior strength to bear, twisting my foreleg until something popped in my shoulder and I shrieked in pain of my own. Both of us fell, a screaming jumble that rolled down the side of the roof. Realizing what was about to happen, I tried to disengage but the thing held me fast by my leg.

  We plunged off the edge of the roof together, flailing to the dark ground below.

  The monster still gripped me by one leg, which prevented me from contorting my body so I could land on me feet. I landed badly, on my side, and lay stunned as the impact drove air out of my lungs. I could only lie there unmoving, while the gasping creature regained its footing. We had fallen off the roof on the other end of the house away from the bedrooms, meaning there would be little likelihood The Lady would wake and come to my rescue.

  “Hateful cat! Evil cat!” it rasped, “I shall wait for another night to feast on the child! Tonight I shall attend to you!”

  Helpless, I refused to open my eyes and let it see the fear in them.

  “Wretched cat! I am going to take my time with you.” It continued panting, “I shall strip the fur off of your tail when I run it between my teeth. I shall pluck your eyes and eat them one by one. I shall pull your ears out by their roots. I shall…”

  “You shall do none of those things,” said the most beautiful voice in the world.

  “Another cat?” the horror snarled. “What madness is this?”

  I opened one eye to see Saipan sitting in regal primness atop the mailbox. Her icy blue eyes reflected elegant contempt, and no part of her posture betrayed any hint of fear or concern about facing such a nightmare creature.

  “The world has changed since you last crawled it, Vile One. I suggest you leave while that option is still availed to you.”