Justice Falling

by Audrey Carlan

  “Well you look beautiful. Then again, “Justice” always is the highlight of Gems.”

  I rolled my eyes at her use of my stage name. I chose Justice because it was an oxymoron. There wasn’t any justice in having to strip for money.

  “Says the perfect size…oh wait what’s that? Oh yeah, the perfect size zero!” I grinned as she pinched my hip. I swatted at her hands.

  “So, are you going to tell me about him yet?” Jin leaned back onto her bed, her elbows holding her up. Her long black hair spread like a curtain of glossy ribbon across her pastel sheets.

  “Who?”

  “The ‘who’ you went out to lunch with the other day.”

  “What? How did you know?” I stared at her smiling face through the mirror.

  “I’m psychic. Duh!” She rolled her eyes and sat up, crossing her legs. I narrowed my gaze and waited a moment. “Fine. I called to see if you were available at lunch. Rosie, that other office chick, said you had a lunch date.”

  Damn Rosie. She was such a busy body. I needed to be careful around her if I was going to keep my private life private. Sighing deeply, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of here until I spilled something about my date to Jin. Besides, I wanted to talk about it. Needed to. The thoughts of Nate, of his kiss, burned and sizzled throughout my day, making it almost impossible to concentrate on work.

  “His name is Nate. He’s a lawyer. British.”

  “And…” She pressed. I layered on another pound of mascara. “Well, is he hot?”

  I slumped down on my bed across from hers and clasped my heated cheeks. “So hot, Jin. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s incredibly sexy. He’s forceful and confident.” I looked into space remembering the way he pressed me into the elevator wall and kissed me like I was the only woman in the world he wanted to kiss…ever.

  “Forceful?” Jin’s eyes narrowed into points. “What do you mean by that?”

  “No, no. Don’t get the wrong impression. He’s just…I don’t know. He fills the space in a room. Larger than life. His presence demands attention.”

  Jin’s eyes sparkled and a coy grin slid across her lips. “You have a crush on this guy? I’ll be damned. I didn’t think it would ever happen!”

  “Oh shut up! I do not have a crush. He’s just a hot guy that I’m going to see at work sometimes. Just because he took me to lunch and kissed me once doesn’t really--”

  “He kissed you!” Jin jumped up and landed like an elephant on my tiny bed, making us both bounce. Though certain parts of me bounced more than others and almost bounced right out of the top of the tight corset. “Oh my God, you have to tell me everything. How did it happen? When? Where?”

  I took a deep breath then told Jin everything that we discussed at lunch including the freak out when he mentioned Tanner’s bracelet.

  “Why did you freak? Does he not like kids?”

  “I don’t know. It never came up.”

  “Wait a minute. You told him about Tan Man, right?”

  I shook my head, shame coating my mood.

  “Cam…” her tone warned. “You can’t hide a child from a man you’re interested in.”

  I stood quickly, and fiddled with my hair. “I don’t know what’s between us. I’m not hiding anything.” Big. Fat. Lie. Probably one of the first I had ever told my best friend. “I will tell him. If we see each other again. Which, we probably won’t.”

  Jin’s lips pinched together and she pointed a finger at me. “Did he ask you out again or say he wanted to see you again?”

  I shrugged and grabbed my purse. “I have to go.”

  “He did!” She stood and looked me in the eye.

  “He might have asked me to dinner, which I declined. Then he said that things were not over between us.” Jin whooped and jumped into the air.

  “I knew it. You’re dating a lawyer. What are the odds of that?”

  Yeah, great. Jin was leading to the fact that my ex was a rich lawyer, too. “I doubt I’ll see him again.”

  “You are so clueless about men, Cam. They don’t take you to lunch, kiss you up against the wall in an elevator at work, and then ask you out and all of a sudden dissolve into thin air. You’ll be hearing from him. Of this I’m certain.” She clucked her tongue and snapped her fingers.

  “I’m not sure. I hope you’re right. There’s something about him, Jin. Something that draws me. It’s like I want to be closer to him.”

  Jin swung her hips and tipped her head. “Yeah, and it’s called lust, girlie. Pretty soon, sweet Cami’s five year dry spell is going to end. Girl, you’re finally going to get laid!” She smacked me on the ass and helped me shuffle towards the door on my four inch stiletto heels.

  On the way to Gems, I started to worry. Jin might be right. If I continued to see Nate, we’d likely end up in the bedroom but what then? I hadn’t been with a man in five long years. Even then I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I took my cues from Tyler. Not once did I so much as orgasm when we had sex. At least I didn’t recall ever having one. Based on the information I had read, seen in movies, and talked over with Jin, I was pretty certain I’d remember an all-over euphoria that lasted a few seconds to long minutes. Above and on top of that, I surely had never had multiples of them. Maybe I couldn’t orgasm when a man touched me?

  The more I thought about Nate and becoming physical with him, the more frightened I was. Thoughts of Tyler years ago flashed across my memory.

  “No, Cami! You’re doing it wrong. Don’t bite my fucking dick…suck it! Put your lips around the head and suck.” I tried my best, frantically taking his cock into my mouth and pretending it was an ice-cream cone, but it wasn’t working. Apparently, I did everything wrong. Tears formed in my eyes.

  “Oh Christ, Cami. Don’t cry. Just, hold your mouth open.” I did what he said. “Now close it around my dick.” I followed his direction. “Now suck.”

  He gripped his hand into my hair so tightly pain shot down my spine, but I didn’t move my mouth. “That’s it. Now I’m just going to fuck your mouth, and you’re going to take it. Got it?” I nodded as he plunged deep into my mouth. The muscles around the back of my throat constricted, and tears formed then slid down the sides of my cheek to drip off my chin.

  I didn’t care. Even if I had to gag and choke, I was determined not to stop. To please him, make my man happy, I could suffer through anything.

  He fucked my throat so hard that time; I couldn’t speak the next day. Even though I’d given it my all, Tyler wasn’t happy. He never was. From then on out, he’d tell me to open my mouth, hold onto his pant leg and wait while he shoved his cock into me. Usually, he’d pull out right at the end and blast his cum all over my face and tell me how perfect I looked covered in his spunk. The memory sent chills through my body, and I clasped the heavy coat closer to my scantily clad form. Once the cab I splurged on dropped me at Gems, I hustled in.

  Gems was a gentleman’s club not one of those seedy strip bars. The women were all beautiful and healthy. The owners tested for drugs and alcohol use during shifts to ensure their dancers weren’t drunk. Gems wanted to be known for being a high-class establishment. The employees, especially the dancers, were not allowed to drink, smoke, take drugs or even eat on the premises. They didn’t want their girls drunk, sloppy or high as a kite while entertaining extremely rich businessmen. You had to have some serious cash to be a member of Gems.

  The place was actually quite beautiful. The stage was set in a perfect square with a riser that brought each woman up from the floor. There were different props, pulleys, and hanging mechanisms a dancer could use. I stuck with the standard pole routines. Prior to being hired years ago, I was a talented gymnast, so the transition to being flexible on an upright pole instead of a balance beam, bars or a vault was relatively easy. Didn’t take long for Jin to teach me the standard moves and for me to expand on them. The main floor, where I typically danced, served as the normal strip show. Men gathered around the stage, and women danced for tip
s and a little more than minimum wage.

  I was on in five minutes. Rushing through the catacomb of dark hallways under the first floor, I threw my stuff into my locker and checked my image in the mirror. After pinching my cheeks and glossing my lips one more time, I turned to head on stage.

  “Good luck out there, Justice,” one of the girls said as we traded places on the stairs of the main stage. She’d just left her routine and was clutching her clothing in one hand. She had cat ears and a bowtie on but nothing else. I had a robe I left at the edge of the stage. I put it on right after performances. Some strippers were modest when not on stage. I was one of them.

  “Thanks, Kitty!” I waved then made my way onto the dark stage. Tiny pinpricks of light in the glossy black stage led the way to the pole.

  “Luck of the Irish, my ass.” I mumbled as I positioned said ass with my cheeks pressed up against the pole. As the lights rose, so did my arms. I clasped the metal bar over my head, arched my back to delectably display my corseted breasts as the light went up. Cat calls and male howls filled the air around me.

  “Justice! Justice!” Several patrons howled my stage name as they caught a glimpse of my body. Smoke swirled at my feet, and I used the strength of one arm to lean out, grasped the pole by the hand, and did a perfect spin. Brilliant swirls of colored lights gleamed in my peripheral in a burst of rainbow delight. Mid-air I swung my legs up, gripped the pole with my thighs, and let my entire body dangle upside down prettily against the pole. My arms came out and I held myself upside down.

  Delicately, I trailed down the pole and then, with a flick of the wrists and thighs, swung back around. All the blood rushed from my head to blur the patrons. That’s the way I liked it. No faces. No judgment. I preferred when the lights were so bright I couldn’t see how many there were, who was watching, or what they were doing to themselves. I just did my routine with as much gusto as I could muster and somehow it worked. Night after night I earned great tips and smacks on the ass from the owners.

  Towards the end of my routine, I slid the zip slowly down the bodice of my corset and briefly caught the gaze of a patron just off to the right. He seemed familiar, but it was too dark to tell. The DJ played the music that lead up to the big reveal. “Looks like we’ve caught the leprechaun folks, now let’s enjoy that gold at the end of the rainbow.” His smarmy words screeched loudly over the big speakers. I held my breath. The cigar stench was thick in the air. It was a miracle I didn’t vomit all over the stage.

  I knew what these men saw when they looked at me. Nothing but a pretty package of flesh to fantasize about. I hated that this was my life but pressed those thoughts deep down so I could get through the night. Realizing Tanner could one day find out what I’d done to support us forced huge armfuls of guilt pouring down my throat, clogging my chest. The men roared in excitement as I zipped the corset all the way down, holding the ends together to build the anticipation a bit longer.

  “Justice baby. Don’t be shy. Show the men those gold coins,” the DJ spoke. There was a man standing just out of sight at the corner of the stage, his face in shadow. I opened the corset and revealed my size D breasts to the crowd. I had pasted gold coins over the pink tips of my nipples. The man in shadow moved closer, just his face now outside the light as I cupped the large globes offering them to him, swaying my hips along with the music. He held out what looked like a hundred dollar bill but could easily have been a one. From the looks of his crisp dark suit, I knew he had money to burn. I sauntered over giving all the men around the stage a good show. Bills floated to the stage like raindrops. When I got close enough for the man to put the hundred in my g-string, his face entered the light, and my world imploded.

  Tyler.

  ***

  Every speck of my skin tingled as swirls of cool water sluiced along my body. The movement soothed me, sliding along my back, ribs and thighs, down to my toes. Every stroke pushed me closer to my goal. Once I reached the other side, I sank, flipped like a fish and pressed hard off the plaster wall, rocketing through the shallow end. Nothing gave me such peace, serenity, and connection with my inner self like swimming did. Today I needed it.

  Thoughts of a tall, curvy brunette with a jaded upbringing kept spilling into my head, convoluting my thought processes as I tried to defend my client this afternoon. Thank God my brother, Collier, had been there to back me up. He stepped right in like the gentleman he was. Fucking wanker. Now I owed him one.

  Thinking back to lunch, I remembered how green Camille’s eyes became when she spoke of becoming a teacher. She must love children to want a job where you were surrounded by twenty or thirty of the little rug rats in close quarters each day. I liked kids. What I knew of them. Really hadn’t had much exposure to children over the last few years.

  Sucking in a bout of air, I plunged my head back into the water face down and let my arms lead me to the edge. As I was about to push off, a hand tapped my head throwing me back.

  “I’ve been calling your name for the last few minutes, mate!” Collier stood alongside the pool, still wearing his suit from court. He pulled the button of his suit jacket at the waist letting the sides open. He ruffled a hand through his hair.

  As a modern man, I could honestly say that my brother was a good looking bloke. In the looks department, the most we had in common were the Armani suits we wore. Collier was blond and brown-eyed like our mother. I was the dark horse who took after my father. Dark hair, tanned skin I didn’t have to maintain, and light eyes. The exact opposite of my elder bro.

  “Hey Colly. How goes it?” I slicked back my wet hair.

  Collier pulled up a sun lounger and sat, hands clasped between his knees. “You tell me? What happened in court today? You were doing a bodge job defending our client until I stepped in.”

  I yanked myself out of the water and grabbed the towel next to him taking that precious few moments to compile my thoughts. Once I dried off a bit, I wrapped it around my hips and sat.

  “So?”

  “I don’t know. My mind was somewhere else, I guess.” Purposely avoiding his eyes, I slid my t-shirt over my damp torso. A couple of women on the other side of the pool had watched me swim. One of them frowned as I covered up. I shook my head and smiled, not really able to avoid flirting with them. It was part of my nature. You didn’t just turn that off after one day of being with someone incredible. For Camille, I think I could give it a try.

  “Your mind was somewhere else? You half-wit, that was a two hundred thousand dollar commission we could have lost had I not stepped in. Our client was clearly wronged and you almost gave it away. You’ve always been able to set aside your shite. So what has your trousers in a twist? And where were you at lunch? We were supposed to go over our notes before court.”

  I stood up and paced a bit trying to unleash the nervous energy. “I was on a date.”

  Collier’s voice was tight. “You blew off our lunch meeting for a piece of arse?”

  In two steps I was in front of my brother, the lapels of his suit coat clutched in a death grip. “Camille’s not like that. Don’t you ever talk about her that way. Got it!” I growled through my teeth then shoved him. He caught himself on the lounger then stood. Pacing in a circle I came back, realizing how much of a daft bastard I was. When I turned around to apologize, Collier had the biggest shite eating grin on his face.

  “What?”

  “You’re smitten with a bird.”

  “Am not!” I defended, but my heart wasn’t in it. Camille’s sweet face and innocent smile ran through my vision.

  “You are. You’re arse over tit for a girl. Bloody hell.” Collier smacked his knee, tipped his head back and laughed. “I never thought I would see the day where the great ladies’ man would fall for a woman. We must celebrate. Where is this lovely bird?”

  “Her name is Camille, and it’s not what you think.”

  “Isn’t it?” Collier retorted.

  “No, it’s not,” I knew my face fell into a scowl.

&nbs
p; “And why not?” His gaze narrowed.

  “Because I’ve just found her, okay. She’s Hank’s secretary.” His eyebrows rose at that information. “I took her out today, but she frightens easily. She’s sweet this one. I’m not sure how to handle sweet. The women I’m used to know what they are getting in to.” Miserable, I sat and put my head in my hands to rub my temples.

  “Do you plan to treat her like your usual fare?”

  “Bollocks no! I said she’s different.” Collier nodded and waited. “There’s just an innocence about her though. I’m drawn to her. Today, when I kissed her…bloody hell it was amazing.”

  “You’ve already kissed her? She couldn’t be that innocent.” He grinned.

  “I couldn’t help myself. When I’m near this woman, Colly…shite. I just need to touch her. Be closer to her. Smell her, taste her. Christ.” I pulled on my wet hair until the roots tingled with pain.

  Collier smiled then clapped me on the back. “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “I have to get her to go out with me again. I’m thinking flowers to start. What do you think?”

  After a chuckle, he responded, “I think that could be a good start. I’ve met Cami. She seems shy and timid but smart as a whip. My suggestion would be to go easy on her. Don’t go in with your normal egomaniac charm, because it won’t work.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. How the hell did you get so wise in the ways of women?”

  “London owns my arse, and I have no complaints.” He looked down at his hands. “I think I’m going to marry her if she’ll have me.”

  “Yeah? You think she’d say no?” Instantly, I felt worry and dread prickle at the back of my neck. His nervous energy proved he was unsettled about something. Collier’s ex did a number on him a few years ago, cheating and running off with some hotel entrepreneur. London was the first woman he’d given his heart to since. They seemed good together, but love was fickle. Something I had never experienced myself.