Out of the Ashes

by S. M. Lynn

  At the bar, I order a double Grey Goose and cranberry. I doubt they could make a drink strong enough for me right now. Maybe I should have just ordered the vodka straight. I drain the glass and let the bartender know I want another. As I’m halfway through the second, I feel a light touch on my shoulder. At first I think maybe Ian has come over to me but when I turn I’m greeted by brown eyes instead of the blue ones I was expecting. “I’d ask if you come here often but it sounds cheesy and since the last time we met you were standing at a bar, I’m honestly a little afraid of what your answer would be.” His smile is infectious and I can’t help but smile in return though inside my emotions are in turmoil.

  “Patrick, so good to see you again. I had no idea that you would be here.”

  “A last minute change to my schedule made it possible for me to attend and it’s for a good cause so…” he shrugs. “You here for work again?”

  “No, I’m Ian’s guest for the evening.” Briefly Patrick’s face grows dark but his smile is back so quickly I think I must have been imagining things. “Oh and where is my wonderful cousin? I should advise you to be careful with him; he isn’t known to stay around with one woman for long.” I’m shocked by his statement and know it’s obvious by the way he steps into me. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything by it. You seem to wear your heart on your sleeve and I wouldn’t want to see anything so beautiful get trampled. Forgive me for being forward, but you’re just too precious for that.” He pushes a stray strand of hair from my face and for a moment looks like he’s going to kiss me. The bigger problem is with the confusion I’m feeling right now I don’t think I would stop him and I do know how Ian feels about that. He’s with Rebecca doing god knows what though so… Patrick cuts into my thoughts. “Well, I cannot allow you to stand here any longer when I can see you are clearly upset about something. Come dance with me.” He grabs my hand and we are off through the crowd toward the dance floor when he runs straight into a brick wall. An Ian shaped brick wall. “Cousin, so good to see you. I was just taking Celeste for a dance since you left her all alone when she’s clearly upset.”

  “Thank you for your concern, cousin,” Ian replies the sarcasm dripping from his voice. “But I think Celeste and I are going to be leaving so if you will excuse us.”

  Bringing my hand to his lips, Patrick whispers against them, “Until next time, beautiful. And please if you need anything don’t hesitate to call. I know how difficult this one can be and am happy to help in anyway I can.” Patrick is speaking to Ian more than to me and obviously something has happened between them regarding Rebecca, I just have no idea what it is. But Patrick is definitely goading Ian right now and I’m not sure poking the bear is a good idea at this point. Ian rips my hand from his caress and escorts me to the exit. I can tell he’s fuming but at this point I’m so numb I don’t really care. I cannot figure out all of these things that are going on around me. I thought I had left all these complications behind.

  Once we are in the car, I can no longer contain the emotions and I begin to sob. Ian, who has been looking away from me out the window, slowly turns and takes me in his arms. “Celeste?”

  I can hear the pain in his voice but am afraid to ask for fear of what the answers will be. “Ian, I don’t want to talk about it now. I have so many questions and it’s obvious there’s a lot more going on than you’ve told me. But right now there’s no way I can process it. I feel like someone has ripped me to pieces inside and I’m not sure if I should blame you or her.” I hold my hand up in protest when he opens his mouth, as I really don’t want to hear anything he would have to say on this subject right now. “Please? Can you just hold me?”

  His reply is exactly the one I was hoping for, “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

  Back at the hotel, I go into my room and start to get ready for bed. I feel Ian’s presence before I see him. I turn and he’s leaning against the door jam. “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “Getting ready for bed,” I turn to go into the bathroom when I feel his hand on my elbow.

  “Celeste, I think…”

  I cut him off. “Don’t Ian. Just don’t. I have no idea what’s going on and frankly the emotions I have right now are confusing me. Part of me wants to wrap myself around you; the other wants to yell and scream at you. Something is going on but I’m still not sure if I’m ready to deal with whatever it is. I wish you could be honest with me but at the same time, I’m afraid of what honesty would bring.”

  “Celeste, I… I don’t know what to say. This is more complicated than I thought it would be.”

  “Then just leave it be, Ian. Just for now, at least. I’m going to shower and go to bed in here tonight.”

  “I want you with me,” he pauses and takes a long breath, “always.”

  “I can’t tonight. I’m sorry if I’m hurting you but you have to understand.”

  “No, I understand. I just wish you would give me the chance to explain before deciding for yourself what’s going on.”

  I take his face in my hands and peer into his eyes. There’s so much hurt and pain there; I’m just not sure what I’ve done to cause this. Or maybe it’s simply his guilty conscience. No, I said I wasn’t thinking about that tonight. “I’m not deciding anything. We’ll talk about this. Just not right now. I don’t want either of us to say anything we will regret.”

  Sighing, he shakes his head. “Celeste, you have to know that Rebecca…”

  “Ian, please. Not right now. The only thing I want to know right now, is if you’re in a relationship with her?”

  “You can’t really think… Sweetheart, there’s only you.” That’s only thing I need to know right now.

  Chapter 14

  The next three weeks fly by in a blur of site visits and meetings though we were able to take one whole day and go north to Bath. Ian prepared the whole trip for us. We took a tour of the Roman Baths and he made reservations for us at the Thermae Bath Spa where we spent time in the thermal waters. It amazes me that people have been using the waters here since the 8th century B.C. for healing and relaxation. He also indulges us in a couple’s Watsu treatment. After the spa, we visit the city centre and walk along the River Avon to enjoy some shopping. There’s only one thing left I want to see; no, I have to see. The Bath Abbey. The gorgeous building with its spires and arches stretches to the sky beckoning to me. Once inside, I’m in awe of the grandeur. The wooden ceiling shines in the light coming through the stained glass windows. The setting is as awe inspiring as it is romantic. Ian holds my hand as we take a tour around the church. “Thank you,” I say leaning in to kiss his cheek. “This has been the most perfect day.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a lingering kiss right in front of the abbey. My fears and anger from the night of the charity ball are miles away and I truly feel that life couldn’t get any better.

  Another evening, Ian took me to Paris on the train. We took a walk to look at all the lights and though it may be cliché, he took me to the Eiffel Tower. Afterwards we had dinner at Laperouse. The restaurant has several small dining rooms and Ian reserved one for us to have to ourselves with gorgeous views of the river Seine right outside. With my French being what it is, pretty much non-existent, I had to rely on Ian to order for us. We dined on shrimp tartare, Veal Orloff and for dessert, decadent soufflé Laperouse.

  The trip was turning out to be very profitable both in terms of business and our relationship. It may be wrong but we never did discuss the night of the charity ball. I didn’t ask the questions and he didn’t offer any explanations. I know I should have but couldn’t bring myself to face the answers. After all there were things that I wasn’t willing to share with Ian so how could I expect complete disclosure from him? I knew what I needed to know; that I’m the only woman in his life.

  Gavin and I have talked with each other almost every day, mainly through email and text because of the time difference but there has been time for several phone calls and some FaceTime. I told him about Ian and I and
how our relationship is progressing. While he’s mostly happy for me and encouraging of my spending lots and lots of naked time with Mr. Hot Boss, he gave me a warning eerily similar to Patrick’s. “I know you know this, darling, because you read page six just as much as I do and that man has never been photographed with the same woman twice. I just want you to be careful is all. I don’t want to see you hurt.” Gavin is coming from a place of love and speaking solely out of concern for me. But how do I explain to him that it’s already too late? Knowing Gavin, he already knows how deep I’m in but just wants to put the warning out there.

  There has also been time when Ian hasn’t needed me in the office or at a few meetings so I got to explore the city on my own. I went to Harrods and found the most gorgeous shirt for Gavin; he’ll die when he sees it and I found a couple things for me while I was there that I just couldn’t pass up. The red club dress will come in handy when I get home as Gavin has already said the first weekend I’m back we are going out.

  Ian’s voice pulls me from my reverie. “Celeste, when you have a minute I need to speak with you.” I planned to finish up a few emails before we head to dinner but this seems more pressing so I leave them for later and walk over to Ian’s desk.

  “Is everything okay?” I can tell these last few weeks have been weighing on him and he needs a break from the stress.

  “I wanted to let you know that with things winding down here we’ll be going back to New York soon. Tomorrow I’ll have you look at flights for the middle or end of next week. I think a month is enough time here for now. Of course, we will have come back periodically during the construction and at the finishing stages. But those visits will be shorter. More importantly I want you to know how vital you’ve been to this trip. There’s no way I could have gotten this done without your assistance so thank you. I thought maybe you and I could celebrate tomorrow night.” He features turn up in a smile and his face lights up.

  “That sounds wonderful. What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, I have a little confession to make; I might have stumbled across your bag from Harrods and found a very little red dress and heels. I hope you’re not angry. But I thought maybe we could have dinner and then hit the clubs for some dancing.”

  “Don’t be silly. That sounds wonderful. I actually bought the dress with the intention of going clubbing with Gavin so this will be perfect.”

  “Great, let’s finish up and get out of here. I’m starving and I’m sure that I have a very beautiful woman waiting for me in my bed.”

  “Well, I hope she won’t be disappointed when you show up with me.” I say playfully as I go to finish up the emails.

  ~

  Holy shit! Maybe this dress was not a good idea. I’m looking in the mirror at the barely there red ruched tube dress. It stops above mid-thigh and the cut out on the back leaves just enough material to keep it from falling off and keep my ass covered. I think just by stepping out in this I might be breaking the no sharing rule. No garter and stockings for tonight. Good thing the spa was open and had an available appointment for a waxing this morning. I slip my shoes on and take one last look before I step into the bedroom where Ian is waiting in anticipation of seeing the dress. He tried to get me to try it on for him last night when we got back from dinner but I told him he would just have to wait. After he picks his jaw up off the floor, he blesses me with his panty-dropping smile and yes, I do have panties on; every bit of coverage helps with this dress. “Sweetheart, I’m not sure what to say about that… that, what would you call it?”

  “The sales clerk called it a dress but I’m not sure there’s enough fabric to qualify.” I smile back at him.

  “Damn, Celeste, you are really and truly going to kill me. Well don’t blame me when we’re thrown out of the club later because I’ve had to pummel every man in there for drooling all over you.” That went better than expected.

  Dinner is, for lack of a better term, interesting. As Ian helps me out of the car, the valet drops the keys he’s holding and is blatantly staring as I climb out of the car, earning a glare from Ian. The restaurant is spectacular. Ian takes me to Hakkasan in Mayfair. The ambience is the absolute epitome of romance. We enjoy some sake, the dim sum platter, spicy prawns and black truffle roasted duck. Though the staff is very attentive, the waiter almost spills a whole pitcher of water in Ian’s lap when I bend down to retrieve my lip gloss from my bag. And the piece de resistance is when Ian makes the mistake of needing to use the facilities; that is when the three men that had been chatting happily at the bar decide to invade our table for two. He deals with them much more calmly than I would expect.

  “Gentlemen, as you can see you’re making my girlfriend very uncomfortable here. Being that I’m with such a gorgeous woman though has put me in an amiable mood, so I am generously going to give you 5 seconds to leave and stop harassing us.” Did he just call me his girlfriend? The schoolgirl in me is very excited at the thought. The men, being that there were three of them, thought for a second that they could go against Ian’s wishes and wasted their 5 seconds. So with a small glint in his eye, Ian grabs the one closest to him and pulls his arm back so he can no longer move. The second guy moves toward him and he has him pinned within a minute still holding guy number one. Now guy number 3 figures there’s no way for Ian to fight him without releasing one of the other two very pissed off, at this point, men. Suddenly Connor, where did he come from, has guy number 3 and all three men are being escorted to the exit. Ian walks to the table afterward and sits as if nothing happened. I’m stunned at this god before me; I knew he had muscles but it’s a whole different thing seeing him use them. I suppose I should’ve been angry since the men were just talking but they were making me uncomfortable. Instead, I’m incredibly turned on.

  I lean over and whisper in his ear, “I know you think garters and stockings are sexy; but that is the sexiest thing I have ever seen.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, I have a feeling by the time the night is over you’re going to get to see a lot more of that.”

  The club is packed but Ian has already reserved us a table in the VIP area. That keeps the number of men he needs to pummel to a minimum at least until we go to dance. Ian really knows how to dance. He pulls my back in close to his front and I grind my hips into his. “Sweetheart, you keep doing that in that dress and soon the whole club will see what you’re like when I fuck you.” If he thought that would stop me grinding on him, he’s sorely mistaken. It only makes me want to press into him harder. At this point in the evening, he could fuck me on live TV for an audience of millions and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Seeing that his warning wasn’t getting the reaction he hoped for, he turns me around so I’m facing him and the offending part of my body could no longer make contact with him. Though from this direction, I’m free to run my hands over his hard body whereas before they had just been locked around his neck. He pulls me toward him as if he’s going to kiss me only to quickly spin me away from him.

  As I spin across the floor my eyes never leaving his, I crash into a wall of muscle. The guy looks down approvingly at me and I try to get my footing enough to move back to Ian quickly. But I’m not fast enough and he has his hand around my forearm before I can get away. “I’ve been admiring you all night. I would really like a dance.” He smiles down seductively. If there was no Ian, he is exactly the kind of guy I would have danced with but there was an Ian and out of the corner of my eye I can see a very angry version of him fuming his way toward us. “I’m here with him.” I gesture in the direction of the meteor that’s barreling down on us. The guy seems to get the hint and releases my arm but he’s too late. Ian’s here and he watched the whole exchange. He looks at me then over to the guy that held my arm. I shake my head to let him that everything’s fine and try to move him back to the dance floor. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing putting your hand on her?”

  “Hey man, I’m sorry I didn’t realize she was with you.”

  “You didn’t realize… Really
because several times tonight I have seen you staring while we danced so how did you not think we were together?” And without another word from the guy, Ian has him pinned up against the wall. “It would be to your benefit, asshole, to forget that you ever saw her.” He releases the guy’s neck and arm and turns to me moving swiftly across the dance floor back to our table.

  I climb into his lap and run my fingers down his cheek, trying to calm him. His rage is still palpable. “Ian, really there was no harm done there. He asked for a dance; I let him know I was here with you and was about to walk back over to you to finish our, um, dance.”

  “Celeste, I told you I can’t stand to see other men touch you. Maybe if he just asked for the dance or maybe if he wasn’t staring at you for the last half an hour and if he hadn’t touched you, I would have been fine. Maybe.” His hands fist at his sides. “But he didn’t and pushed too far, you’ll probably have a bruise tomorrow on that arm from how forcefully he pulled you back. Just thinking about it makes me want to go back out there and do a hell of a lot more than warn his sorry ass.” Before he can continue I cover his lips with mine. Keeping the contact between us, I softly whisper against his mouth “Ian, I can’t even see any other men since I’ve found you. Remember it’s you and me.” He wraps his hand around the back of my head and deepens the kiss. Things are quickly progressing to point where everyone in the club is going to get quite a show.

  The song changes and I hear Maroon 5 and Adam Levine belting out how he has Moves Like Jagger. I jump up squealing. “You’ve got to dance with me. This is my favorite.” I’m giddy at the prospect of dancing to Adam’s smooth voice. “So I might have lied before about the other men; Adam Levine still figures very prominently in my consciousness.”

  “Sweetheart, I don’t care who the man is or how famous he is; if he gets near you, I’ll take him out.” He hoists me over his shoulder and carries me to the dance floor caveman style. I tug frantically to keep my dress in place and thong from showing.