Syncopated Rhythm

by Erik Schubach

  She paused and I silently stroked her arm gently with my thumb. Letting her get her bearings. Then I asked, “What about your parents?”

  She shook her head. “Mom was a single mother. Wasn't around much. I doubt she even realized I had gone for weeks after I left when I turned eighteen.”

  She was silent again. I didn't want to push. She grinned suddenly and yanked my arm and I fell onto my back on the bed beside her and we both stared at the ceiling. I looked back at the connecting door as I absently played with her silky hair. “Whenever you are in your room you are playing music, you play it all night while you sleep. Is it research or do you just like music that much?”

  She looked over at me and she looked almost hurt. “Ky don't.”

  I tilted my head at her, then looked back at the ceiling. It was quiet for a few seconds. I decided to change the topic but she started talking in a whisper. “Can you keep a secret?” Then she turned her head to look nervously at me. She gave a sad smile. “Of course you can...”

  She took a deep breath. “I have to have the noise or the silence will come crashing down around me and remind me I am alone. I know... I sound pathetic. I'm sure a shrink would have a great time sifting around in my head.”

  I shook my head and snuck my hand into hers and laced our fingers. I gave her hand a little squeeze. “Not at all. But... why?”

  She took a breath and shot another quick glance at me. I could tell this was hard for her and I couldn't believe she felt comfortable confiding in me. Her lips were pressed into a straight line on her face then she started speaking again, “It sort of all goes back to my mom again.”

  I turned my head and watched her as she spoke. “She always had to work two or three jobs to make ends meet. She was never around. I can't blame her, she was just doing the best she could and raising a child on her own on top of it. She was always mad, always yelling at me. The neighbor lady would watch me while she was working, but when I started first grade, Mrs. Heath had moved away.”

  Her eyes looked almost haunted. “Mom couldn't afford a sitter, so when I wasn't at school I stayed in our apartment alone, her anger had doubled by then. There were two rules... so that we could stay together. When I got home from school I had to go into the apartment and lock the doors right away. And more importantly, I had to be as quiet as a mouse. Not make a sound so the the downstairs neighbors wouldn't know I was home alone.”

  Her eyes looked watery as she continued. “It was always so silent all the time, I was constantly scared to death to make any noise until mom came home late at night. I was so alone and that silence was deafening, screaming in all around me. Then mom would be gone in the morning to work with cereal waiting on the table for me to eat before the school bus came.”

  She closed her eyes, she looked so... broken? “But one day when I was twelve, a new neighbor moved in downstairs. My silence was broken by the music they would always play. I craved that music. I wanted to live in the lyrics and let them wrap around me and hold me so I didn't have to live in my isolation. I didn't have any friends at school because they all made fun of my vitiligo. I became Amber Lee, Leper of District Three for the rest of my school days. But that music from downstairs became my friend. Whenever it wasn't playing, that deafening silence would attack, leaving me feeling so alone, on the verge of panic.”

  She took a deep breath and her face took on a certain look of resolve and she turned to me. “So I became the music, and I want to share that music with everyone. I know how it can engulf you and share the emotion in the words and make you forget about everything.”

  She ended in a shrug and an embarrassed smile with those watery eyes. I hurt so much for her, I wished there was something I could do to take that pain in her eyes away. I reached my hand down from her hair and laced my fingers with hers. I stared at the ceiling. “Tell me about Amber Lee. I want to know everything.”

  I could feel her turn her head then she looked back at the ceiling. “There isn't much to tell, but I'll answer each question you have but you have to answer a question from me for each.”

  I squeezed her hand. “Deal.”

  Then we spent hours just lying there talking about ourselves, about life, about our dreams. Truth be told, I could have shared with this fascinating woman forever. I have never in my life felt so comfortable sharing all the embarrassing details of my life with another person. I told her things I never told my mother and I have always rearguard my mother as my best friend, my confidant. But around three in the morning we were both exhausted, it was hard keeping my eyes open but I wanted to know more about this spectacular person. She is more... real? Than I would ever had guessed.

  She finally said, “Let's take a little break Ky. Can we just lie here for a little while?”

  I just nodded and whispered, “OK. And Amber... you really shouldn't hide yourself away. You are amazing.”

  Chapter 7 – Road trip!

  The next thing I knew I was waking up with the sun shining in the window, warming me. I looked down at the weight on my chest and Amber was curled up with her head on my chest. Her incredible hair was messy, and she was drooling a bit and it was quite possibly the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

  Since she was still asleep I took the moment to look at her. Then I gently kissed the top of her head and slowly squirmed my way out from under her and laid her head on a pillow and pulled a blanket over her. I softly padded over to the desk beside the bed and started working. There was a dull ache in my heart because I wouldn't be able to visit mom this weekend, but at least I can get some things done.

  Being 'stuck' with Amber is not the torture I would have imagined. If anything I wanted to know even more about her. She had some of the same anxiety I had about life. Our stories are different but there was this underlying thread of loneliness that tied us together. My heart already ached in anticipation of her imminent departure from my life in a couple weeks.

  I was adding a few frames to one of my projects when I heard the sound of a kitten mewing. I looked over and the sounds were coming from Amber as she stretched on the bed, arching her back. She glanced over to see me at the desk, and she waved cutely and indignantly blew an errant lock of hair from her face.

  I couldn't help giggling at her. She was in “Set phasers on 'cute'” mode and I had no defense. I quickly cleared the screen on my iPad.

  She squinted an eye at the device. “Don't make me hit you with this pillow Ky! Why do you keep doing that? Clearing your screen? What are you working on?”

  I looked at her then the iPad then shrugged. “I don't know. I just did some work this morning on ideas for the video shoots, then I was working on...”

  She tilted her head, gawd her bed head was insanely cute. “On what?”

  I closed my eyes and moved over and sat down beside her. I kept the screen away from her and pulled up my presentation application and unloaded her video and loaded my incomplete work for my mother. It will never be finished...

  Then I sat the iPad on my lap and trepidatiously turned it down for her to see. “This is for my mom. I'm saving her memories for her.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to slow my heart. “I have been building it for years, one day I'd like to feel I can show it to her on one of her lucid days. So she can remember all the good things before they are taken away from her again.”

  I felt the tears welling in my eyes, and suddenly Amber was hugging me to her and asking barely above a whisper, “You ok?”

  I nodded, feeling like an idiot and sat up straight as she released me. I smiled at her and bit the inside of my bottom lip in resolve and hit play. I watched the clips of me with my mother as they went by, interspersed with me narrating and filling in any gaps. Always letting mom know that I love her. Some memories I have with her that I had no pictures I sketched and animated. All of these were the best of times I had with my mom, my best friend... it was essentially the story of our lives.

  I was trying really hard to stop the tears from coming, my heart
ached so bad. Then I did lose it when I looked over, and Amber was watching in rapt attention as tears gently flowed down her cheeks. Amber pulled me into a hug and let me sob on her shoulder. I tried to draw on her strength, then I sat up and wiped my tears on the back of my arm and smiled. “Sorry.”

  She grinned and scrunched up her nose. “It's ok Ky, we all need to release it sometimes. This...” she motioned toward the presentation that was over now. “Was phenomenal, not to mention the quality of the production. Your mother will love it. You NEED to show it to her.”

  I shook my head slowly, dropping my eyes. “No, it isn't good enough yet.”

  Amber just responded humorously with a cocky grin. “Bullshit. But I won't press the issue.” Then she looked a little afraid. “So. Ummm... you said you visit her every weekend. Are you going this weekend?”

  It was my turn to grin. “No. I'm supposed to be with you for the duration. Then I can go see mom. She won't remember I missed a couple weekends.” Saying that was like shoving a shadow sword into my own heart without having a respawn point.

  She stood pulling me up. “I pull my previous 'bullshit' from the discard pile and offer it up once again lady, though it is slightly used now. You're going to go see your mom.”

  I hesitantly raised a hand to her cheek and she closed her eyes and leaned in. Oh gawd, it is going to melt me if she keeps doing stuff like that. “No Amber, I need this internship and if they find I abandoned you for the weekend, there will be hell to pay.”

  She bounced on her toes cutely. “Then take me with you. If you'll have me that is.” Before I could protest she was heading for her room yelling, “Road trip!” melodically.

  She glanced back with exaggerated drama as my mouth was still hanging open to protest and she said playfully, “Gimme like thirty minutes to get ready and take my thyroid medication then lets hit the road to... where was it you lived? Potato-ville, Idaho or some such?” I threw a pillow at her as I chuckled, but she escaped my fluffy, wrath filled, projectile and disappeared into her room.

  I heard her say, “Too slow. And you brag about your potatoes on your license plates!” And then though the door I heard her snort. I felt a pang of sad emotion when I heard her radio switch on.

  Wait, what the heck just happened? The fracking bouncy imp! That was just like one of those intermissions in a video game, where you can't escape it, you just have to watch it unfold. Crap... I'm taking Amber LaLanie to Idaho to see my mom!? I started packing in a daze. A happy daze. An Amber Lee daze. Gawd I was going to miss her when she leaves in two weeks. How the hell had she ensconced herself into my life like this?

  I heard her call out through the door. “Pink or black?”

  I called back, “Gorgeous snow leopard!”

  She blew a raspberry and said, “Pink it is then. I'll bring the other in case we need to slip under the radar. Do they like, have Karaoke in Idaho or is it all cowboy bars?”

  I yelled, “Hey! You're making us sound like we are out in the sticks or something! Watch it woman! And hey! You're from Iowa!” This just got hysterical laughing and I made my way to the shower.

  As I showered I couldn't get the stupid smile off my face. She was Amber LaLanie, but she was going to Post Falls with me so I could see my mom. She had absolutely no reason to do this except that she truly wanted me to spend the time with my mom that she knows I cherish. I started singing, badly, Forever Do as I washed up. My own cracking voice was making me chuckle. How I wish I could sing like Amber.

  After I got done and dressed I was suddenly nervous as heck. Any hit from a Dark Elf now and my health meter would bottom out. What? Sorry, I get geeky when I'm nervous.

  I grabbed my bag, and right on cue I heard the music in the other room stop and there was a light knocking on the connecting door between suites. “Knock knock?”

  I grinned at myself. “Who's there?”

  The door opened and Amber came strutting through it with an amused look on her face and rolling her eyes. “You ready lady?” She was carrying a small suitcase. She was stunning with a white, long sleeve shirt that shimmered silver in the lights, and matching white jeans and sneakers. She reminded me of that old comic book character in the disco era, Dazzler. Oh hey, she was a singer too!

  I pushed my glasses farther up on my nose then held up my bag. “You really sure you want to do this. The ride is boring as heck, Washington sort of looks like Tatooine in the middle once you get past the mountains until you get closer to Spokane and to Idaho. Then it is pretty again. If it weren't for irrigation, all the massive farms would be dried up pseudo-desert too.”

  She stared at me like I was speaking Swahili. “Your lips are moving and sound is coming out but all I hear are excuses. Let's hit the road! It has been way too long since I did something like this. To Baltar, potato lover!” She pointed at the wall, then looked around and comically turned a little and pointed at the correct wall toward the parking garage.

  I couldn't stop myself from snorting. “OK, let's get this caravan rolling, corn fed. You are so bad.”

  She nodded in agreement as we went out into the hallway, I picked up the magazine and newspaper that were on the floor at the door, then she hooked her free hand in the crook of my arm as we made our way to the elevator.

  She leaned in. “Umm... Ky, you want me to go first then you can follow a minute later? In case there are pap?”

  I shook my head. “God no. Then they'll really think we have something goin' on if we do that. Imagine the headlines.”

  She froze as she looked down. She whispered, “Like that?” I glanced down and then felt the blood drain from my face. The Seattle Tattler magazine that came with the newspaper had a picture of Amber and me, arm in arm, in the hotel lobby. The headline read “Babette Stevenson caught in love nest with Amber LaLanie?”

  I murmured, “Shit. I'm so sorry Amber.” Just what I needed to do, get this wonderful lady stuck in a scandal.

  She chuckled. “For what? I should be apologizing to you. I guess it doesn't matter now.” The elevator doors opened and she whispered, “Chin up Babette.” Then the minx winked at me... she flippin' winked at me! Now I'm blushing! She held my arm tight as I raised my chin and she marched us right out into the lobby.

  A bellhop was there almost instantly offering to take our bags. The concierge was moving toward us with stress creasing his face. “I'm sorry Ms. Jetson, Ms. Spacely.” His eyes dropped to the magazine I was holding. “I hope this isn't why you are cutting your stay short.” It was more a question than a statement.

  Amber chuckled. “Oh, we're not checking out...” She looked at his name tag. “...Sylvester. Just a quick road trip, we'll be back tomorrow. Keep our rooms warm for us.” She gave him a goofy grin that put him at ease.

  He straightened up. “Of course ma'am.”

  Then she turned her head dramatically to me with a lopsided grin. “Babette?” I snorted at her playful antics and lead the way to the entrance to the parking garage.

  Once we got to Baltar we put the bags in the back seat then coaxed him to life. Amber bubbled in glee when the backfire and plume of blue smoke made her squeak, and we were on our way. “So Miss Potato, we need like really bad junk food snacks for the road.”

  I growled at her, trying not to break out in a grin. “Yes Miss Cornfed, we'll hit a gas station in Issaquah on the way to the mountains for some. Never buy gas in the city if you can help it, the prices are terrible. But first... a fast food drive thru awaits us for breakfast.”

  She sat with her eyes wide in anticipation and that silly 'Amber' grin on her face. She walked her fingers over to the iPod like they were sneaking up on it and cued up some playful hits for us to sing to.

  I was a little shocked at the crowd by the garage exit on the sidewalk. More reporters. Like a smart ass, Amber was doing a royalty wave with a lopsided grin at the people as hotel security plowed the road for us and opened a path to the street as I inched along. Then a minute later we were heading down the road toward the
golden arches, singing like fiends and bopping our heads to the beat.

  After grabbing our drive thru offerings, we munched on the calorie filled ham egg and cheese muffins as we made our way to the nearest freeway on ramp. I kept stealing glances over at her. It was flippin' adorable how she nibbled on her food like a happy chipmunk. I was entranced by her lips, I could still feel the ghost of them on my lips from yesterday. How I longed for her to do that again.

  The silly woman beside me tilted her head as we exited at Issaquah. “So like if we read right to left, this would be Hauqassi. Good thing we read left to right huh Eelyk?”

  I rolled my eyes as I pulled into the gas station across the hard packed snowy street from the off ramp. “Whatever you say Rebma.”

  She gave me a toothy grin with wigging eyebrows. “Oooo the lady is quick!”

  I squinted one eye and shook my fist playfully at her as we piled out. She made a beeline for the convenience store in the gas station while I waited for Baltar to die and scanned my debit card then pumped gas.

  She was on her way out with a couple plastic bags full of God knows what deliciously unhealthy junk food, when I finished up.

  I reached under the driver's seat and pulled out a quart of oil and a can of lead additive for the old engine. Hmm, last one, I'll need to pick some more up on the next fill up. I learned the hard way that you can destroy an old “regular gas” engine pretty quickly running unleaded gas because it burns so much hotter, so the lead additive helps to minimize that problem.

  I dumped the additive into the gas tank then popped the hood and checked the dipstick and poured the oil in. I checked the stick one last time, nodded to myself in satisfaction, and looked over. Amber had come over to watch me.