A Garden Dream

by Jea Hawkins

  “Oh, I have to say I do.” Maeve sat on a wooden bench in the wide aisle and smiled up at her. “Not your father, of course, but someone before him. And what broke my heart at the time wasn’t the fact that he did it, but wondering if he wanted something else – if I just wasn’t good enough. Of course, I wasn’t, which is why he’s married to someone else and I’m with your father. But that, topped off with jealousy, is the worst thing ever.”

  “I’d like to think I was above that sort of jealousy, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was the thing that kept me up at night.” Emma sank down onto a wooden bench and sighed. Her mother’s warmth beside her was welcome and reassuring, and she leaned against her slight frame. “I hated myself for feeling that way. I refused to see myself as someone who could be so petty.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Maeve stroked her daughter’s hair and smiled at her, her thin face lighting up with the expression. Emma missed the way her mother used to look before cancer treatment had taken its toll on her. But when she looked closely, she could see that the weight was slowly coming back, bit by bit. Soon, Emma hoped to see her mother back to normal, instead of looking so delicate.

  She dropped her gaze to the ground and linked her fingers together atop her knees. “I’m supposed to be better than that.”

  “No, you’re supposed to be human, which is exactly what you are.” Her mother continued to pat her hair and then said, “I think you would benefit from getting a tarot reading from Crystal.”

  “A reading?” Emma looked up as she considered it. It was something she hadn’t done in a long time, first because she didn’t have the time and then because she wasn’t sure she wanted to entrust Crystal with such a task.

  “Think about it. It would be a way to prove to Crystal that you trust and rely on her, and that’s all she wants from you. It’s one thing to tell her you’ve forgiven and forgotten. It’s quite another to show it. Go to her and ask her to read for you. Put that trust in her.”

  With a nod, Emma unclasped her hands and rose to her feet. “I will, Mother.”

  Chapter 25

  The room where Crystal conducted her readings was more like a very large closet at the back of the store. It was just spacious enough for a small round table and three chairs. A low-wattage bulb in the ceiling lamp illuminated the room with a soft, golden light. Crystal had painted the walls a pale shade of lavender, a color she said enhanced the vibration of the room. Even though it was small, it was one of Emma’s favorite parts of the shop. It had been too long since she visited it.

  Emma sat and smoothed her hands over the thick, white tablecloth with silver stars adorning it. It was nice to be in the little divination room again. Even though she rarely used it, she admired how Crystal had decorated it. The space was cozy and warm, with the lingering scent of incense from previous tarot sessions clinging to the walls. Crystal lit a patchouli-scented candle on a low, square table in the corner behind her and then sat at the table across from Emma.

  “Do you have a specific question in mind?” she asked softly as she shuffled the deck of tarot cards.

  Emma shook her head. “No, I think it’s more of a general life path inquiry. We’ve dealt with a lot this year and I want to see what the universe has in store for me at the moment. Just a basic idea of where I’m going.”

  “As I certainly don’t have to tell you, nothing in this reading is set in stone. Like your visions, this process is merely to give you an indicator of your current path and where you will go if you continue to follow it. You and only you are in control of your future. This is just a guide to help you decide if you are going in the direction you want or if you would like to change it. Everything is up to you.”

  With a deep inhalation, followed by a long exhalation, Crystal relaxed in the chair. Then in one smooth motion, she fanned the cards across the table. This was the part of the reading Emma loved the most – the anticipation as Crystal settled herself into the mindset necessary to interpret the cards. There were plenty of books out there about tarot and card meanings, but years of study usually taught a witch the necessary skills to use the cards without those things.

  “Choose ten cards, one card at a time,” Crystal instructed her. “As you turn them over, I will put them in their places in the spread.”

  Emma closed her eyes and with a whispered, “Earth guide me,” hovered her hand over the row of tarot cards. She drew the first one and waited for Crystal to turn it over and set it in place before she continued.

  After all ten cards were chosen, Emma opened her eyes to look at the spread. She couldn’t help but let out a little gasp when she saw the Hanged Man and the Devil among the cards. As her heart pounded against her chest, though, she reminded herself that both cards were in positions representing the past, not the present. And at least the Tower wasn’t anywhere in the spread. In fact, at first glance, she realized the cards she had chosen were very appropriate. However, she waited for Crystal to give her interpretation.

  Crystal furrowed her brow, but then smiled at her. “It’s uncanny, isn’t it? When we know the meanings behind the cards, it’s very easy to ascribe them to what’s been going on in our own lives with specificity. But I think we need to let go of our preconceived notions here and forget what we know about each other. Let’s just try that.”

  With a nod, Emma kept her mouth shut and waited. There was no use in fretting or saying what she thought. Crystal was right. Emma had come to her for perspective and to show that she trusted her, not the other way around.

  “Your present position is the Queen of Coins. You’re very focused on the work and material side of your life right now, on the ideals of harvest and bounty, but also nurturing. This is the Emma everyone knows and loves – the one who looks before she leaps.”

  It was usually the first card Emma pulled. She knew why. It represented an earth woman and since she met Crystal, she took it for granted that this card would always come up in her readings. With nothing more than a nod, she gave Crystal permission to continue.

  “Crossing you, however, is the Six of Cups. It’s an indication of lessons that need to be learned from the past – probably emotional lessons about not being so naive. Sometimes those lessons could be in sharing and giving, but I think in your case it’s about receiving. You’re always giving to others. You need to learn to open yourself to receiving.”

  “That’s fair and true,” Emma agreed, her body finally relaxing.

  This was one of the reasons they started the store in the first place. Crystal’s talents as a reader were spot-on. Giving tarot readings in their home just didn’t seem practical, so the store became a place not just for selling things, but for sharing knowledge. Of course, Crystal knew Emma, body, heart, and soul, but Emma knew she wasn’t using that knowledge in this reading. Crystal read what she saw in the cards and felt in the emotional energy of the person at the table. Personal knowledge didn’t enter into the reading.

  “And with all of this, what’s on your mind is one topic in particular.” Crystal tapped the Lovers, the only reversed card in the spread, and smiled slightly. “Matters of the heart. We see here that the influences of the last few years have not been kind at all. There’s the Devil, representing negativity and disillusionment, and feeling trapped by outside forces. But, really, the only person who could change anything was you. This is followed by the Hanged Man. It’s as if everything around you took a turn for the worse and instead of working your way through it, you felt as though you were unable to act.”

  Emma swallowed and nodded. “That sounds about right. With my mother, all I could do was what seemed proper at the time – care for her and Dad, but never once did I do more than that. And then everything with you… I just didn’t know what to do, so I went through the motions of pretending nothing was wrong when, really, nothing was right.”

  She was grateful when Crystal gave her a smile, glad she hadn’t taken her remark as an accusation. “I know how that feels. All these major arcana cards cluste
red together here tell us there were big changes with lasting repercussions. But now we see the future and it looks good. You’ve got some promising cards here. Only one more major arcana, though. It looks like everything coming your way is going to be step by step, one day at a time, for the most part.”

  That was good news as far as Emma was concerned. “I’ve had enough of huge change,” she agreed. “I could use something a little slower-paced right now. You know me – I’m a big believer in slow and steady winning the race.”

  “Right now, I want the same thing.” Crystal chuckled and tossed her hair.

  It was just one gesture, but it made Emma smile too. It felt good to see Crystal relaxed and happy, doing what came naturally to her.

  “So we see the Ace of Coins next, which indicates new work opportunities on the horizon. No surprise there. And we have the Two of Coins right after that as your bridge from present to future. That shows us that you’ll be doing the same work, but in a different way. You’ll need to be adaptable as this shift occurs.”

  “Ah, I must say, I love getting a literal tarot reading.” Emma chuckled and propped her elbow on the table, to rest her face on the palm of her hand. “Do go on.”

  Crystal smirked at her and pointed at the eighth card in the spread. “Domestically speaking, you do have one major change in the works. I’m not sure what Temperance is telling you, but generally, this is a card of reflection and maturation. It’s also about playing the long game for returns in the future if we are patient enough to see them through. Something in your life will blossom.”

  “Plants, herbs, all that kind of stuff.” As much as she wanted to stifle the jokes, Emma couldn’t.

  “Maybe, but just because some of this can be taken quite literally doesn’t mean all of it can be.” Now Crystal winked and inclined her head. “Think about other things in your life that might see a new, more mature place after the events of the past.”

  After blinking several times, processing her words, Emma nodded. “That sounds reasonable, I suppose.”

  “It darn well better. I don’t offer refunds, even to friends and family.”

  “I didn’t pay for this reading,” Emma reminded her.

  “Not yet you didn’t, but I expect payment tonight. I might be a good witch, but that doesn’t mean I have to give my gifts away for free.” With another laugh, Crystal looked down at the cards. “Everyone in life has hopes and dreams, and you are no different. The Ten of Cups tells me you’re looking for emotional fulfillment, maybe even true love. It’s something that’s been a journey for you. And then we have the final outcome, the Ace of Swords. At the end of this journey, you will experience a break-through and know where you want to go next.”

  Sitting back in the chair, Emma folded her arms and said, “I bet you say that to all the girls.” It was only after the words were out that she realized Crystal could take them the wrong way. But her girlfriend simply smiled at her.

  “Only to one girl, the girl I hope to keep around forever since she told me she wants the same thing. Speaking of which…” Crystal reached into her pocket and then set a small white box on the table. “I love you, Emma.”

  Emma’s breath caught and her chest tightened. The box was a plain white, square cardboard box. Nothing special. On the outside, anyway. But she had seen enough jewelry boxes of the exact same shape and size to know what was inside.

  “Em, we’ve been together for seven years and we’ve dealt with a lot during that time. What I realized, though, is we dealt with those things as individuals most of the time. We need to learn how to work through our challenges and obstacles together, and this is what I promise to do, whether you accept this or not.”

  Holy shit. Emma reached out and lifted the lid off the box. Sure enough, nestled inside was a beige jewelry box with a rounded lid. Emma lifted it out and swallowed. “How did you do this?” she asked.

  “Magick.” Crystal’s grin widened and she said, “The royalties from the album have been beyond my hopes. I put the agreed-upon amount into the store account to order more inventory. The rest I kept so I could buy this.”

  Emma finally inhaled again and opened the box. Inside was a simple band of white gold with Celtic knotwork all around it. She knew the jeweler and she also knew this wasn’t just a fun-to-wear ring. It was hefty and the karats were marked on the interior of the band.

  “Crystal, it’s beautiful,” Emma said, tears in her eyes. “But you know, I was supposed to do the proposing.”

  “Oh, were you? Well, I’ve never played by the rules,” Crystal pointed out, before rising to her feet and moving to kneel in front of Emma. “So, what do you say, Emma Jane Hanson? Will you do me the extraordinary honor of being my wife?”

  There was only one thing Emma wanted to say, only one thing that felt right at the moment.

  “Yes,” she whispered, before falling into her fiancée’s arms and kissing her.

  Chapter 26

  Emma didn’t know which deserved the most credit – her garden, Crystal’s CDs and the live performance she and Lark put on, or Avery’s marketing campaign. Whatever it was, the grand re-opening of the store was a success.

  Of course, Emma refused to give herself any credit for it. She knew Avery’s team had worked hard on the website and social media, not to mention teaching Emma how to do everything herself. And then there was Crystal. Once again, they sold out their CD inventory of her and Lark’s album. Lark’s performance with Crystal was a huge draw, Emma was sure of it.

  And to her pleasure, many customers used the new meditation garden and walked the labyrinth. Then they told her how soothing they found it. She even got a full sheet of sign-ups for her workshops on herb cultivation and drying.

  At the end of the day, she sat with Crystal and Avery, so they could go over the numbers together. Avery was curious to know how many visitors they had, while Crystal was interested in the bottom line.

  “I don’t think we’ve ever had that many people in the store at one time, let alone in a day or a week,” Crystal said gleefully when they finally had their totals. “I think it was for Lark. She’s sensational.”

  “Oh, please. You’re both sensational.” Avery leaned back in her chair and nodded toward the shop’s front window. “So, what’s going on with Lark and my sister? I know something is happening, so don’t you dare hold out on me.”

  “Did we forget to tell you?” Emma grimaced and glanced at the two brunettes standing outside the shop. They looked like they were chatting amicably. She didn’t see anything overly flirtatious about their demeanors, but it was obvious they were getting along well. “Lark asked about Waverly, so I gave her Waverly’s email. Wave was pretty flustered when she met her during the move. It seems to me they’re both drawn to each other.”

  After a few head-bobs of acknowledgment, Avery shrugged. “Just don’t expect too much. You know how she is.”

  Emma knew she meant Waverly and she nodded. “Oh yeah, I know. I also know those two have something between them, something more than what we can see. You can feel it if you walk by them, trust me.”

  Avery appeared to consider her words and then smiled. “I suppose a musician makes the most sense. Waverly has always turned to music to tune out everything else around her. It’s the only way she’s found to control the emotional noise of the world. But you’re more in touch with what it’s like to be in love than I am, so I trust your judgment.”

  “One of these days.” Now it was Crystal who was being the reassuring one. She reached out and squeezed Avery’s arm, but the other blonde just shook her head and rose from the chair.

  “Thanks, but there isn’t going to be a ‘one of these days’ for me. I’m not interested in love. Work is enough to make me happy.” She picked her purse up off the back of the chair and draped it over her shoulder. “Good job, you two. You kicked butt on the re-opening and I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thank you for everything,” Emma said, rising to follow Avery to the front door. “
If it wasn’t for your marketing, I don’t think we would be here today.”

  Avery regarded her, head tilted, and then leaned in for a hug. It was a rare gesture of affection and Emma was happy to accept it.

  “It was teamwork. All of us did it together. I’ll see you gals later.” Avery opened the door and stepped outside, and Emma watched her pause. Following her gaze, Emma saw that Avery was looking at her sister and Lark, who were still talking. Waverly was flushed, her cheeks rosy with happiness, and she moved her hands as she spoke. It was rare to see her so relaxed and Emma wished she knew what her friend was thinking.

  Rather than continue to watch, Emma locked the door and turned back to Crystal. “Do you think she’s right?”

  “About the teamwork, yes. About Waverly, maybe. Wave isn’t like other girls. There’s no way she can handle the intensity of the same emotions you and I have been through. Not without some serious work on herself, anyway. Not that I doubt Lark is capable of giving her what she needs. I just hope she knows what she’s getting into.”

  Emma frowned and walked back across the room toward Crystal. “That’s my fault. If I was a good leader, I would have worked harder to help her as a witch.”

  “It’s not your fault. She needs a lot of… handling.” Crystal wrapped her arms around Emma’s waist and said, “And I think I’d like to handle you now if you don’t mind.”

  “Oh? Another celebration? Here?”

  Crystal giggled. “I was actually thinking about celebrating in bed this time. I’d hate to mess up the shop, but if you think the energy would help, we could do it again.” She lifted her face to Emma’s and pressed a kiss to her lips, a needy kiss that left Emma reeling with desire.

  “But Waverly and Lark are still out front. Even with the door locked, I feel like we shouldn’t do this here,” Emma whispered, her lips moving over Crystal’s, their breaths mingling. “Waverly is going to pick up on our emotions. You know she is.”