To Love Thy Neighbour

by S M Mala

  Then she smiled, and he realised something else.

  Esme was everything he admired in a woman.

  Independent, friendly, exceptionally patient and kind to Mali. She could make great samosas, and her coffee blend was good.

  Plus she looked fantastic, even when covered in dust and paint.

  ‘I’m going to have to stop this,’ he said, thinking out loud.

  ‘Stop what?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said, looking away and out at the garden. ‘I put in a quote for doing the landscaping and Carl agreed. I’ll be around for the rest of the project.’

  ‘That’s wonderful,’ Esme replied and started to come down the ladder.

  Leon just examined her arse and then wondered what she looked like naked.

  An image of having sex with Esme up against the wall flashed in his head.

  ‘Are you okay, Leon? You look ever so flushed.’ She was now looking up at him, the pretty brown eyes seemed concerned. ‘I hope it’s not the fumes. Sometimes they give me a headache when I’m working but they have to close up these big houses, especially with the scaffolding around.’

  ‘Do you usually work on a Saturday?’ Leon asked, trying to hold back his lusting.

  ‘If I’m not doing anything, then I work. It’s not that I pay myself extra.’ She laughed, the lovely tinkling sound he would hear most days from the other side of the fence. ‘We are given timelines on projects like this and the ladies know what they have to do. It all depends on how the work is going. Shona can earn a lot of money in a matter of days or she can take weeks and earn the same amount.’

  ‘And you trust them to do it?’

  ‘I have to because, if they don’t, I won’t pay them, and it’s my reputation at stake.’ Esme started to put her tools away then took out some wet wipes, cleaning her hands, using another one to wipe her face. It left a healthy glow. ‘They have families and need to work but they don’t want full-time jobs. It works well.’

  Leon watched her scrunch the material in her hand then put it in a side pocket of her bag.

  ‘Do you work long days?’ he asked, admiring her idea and seeing her shirt was slightly unbuttoned, catching a glimpse of her bra covered breast. Leon knew he would have to step back as being too close was very tempting. ‘With the coffee van and this, you must be very busy.’

  ‘I needed to work when Alfie was small, and his grandmother helped me. My ex paid towards Alfie but not me. I would never have expected that. Bills don’t go away, do they? Clothing and all sorts of things you need to raise a child. But I wanted to take him to school and pick him up. That was my agenda, and it worked.’

  ‘That’s what I want to do.’

  ‘And I think you’re wonderful for doing that,’ she said, looking straight up into his eyes. He felt his heart flutter a little but didn’t know what to say. ‘Good fathers are very hard to find, believe me.’

  She checked her watch and let out a groan.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, unable to take his eyes off her.

  ‘I have to order my Indian takeaway in the next five minutes or it will take fifty minutes to get it delivered to my home. That agitates me,’ she replied, grabbing her phone. ‘They’re very good. I’ll give you the number.’

  ‘Oh, I fancy a curry.’

  Esme glanced at him.

  ‘Would you like to share dinner with me? I can order my usual, and it’s more than enough for two. I don’t mind. Or if you don’t want to eat with me, I’ll put it on a plate and hand it to you over the fence.’

  He laughed at her comment.

  ‘I’d love to share a curry with you if you don’t mind,’ he grinned as she smiled back. Then she gave him one of her sympathetic looks, and he wondered what she was thinking. ‘And I can take it hot, if that’s what you like.’

  ‘I like tasty, first and foremost.’

  ‘So do I,’ he replied, thinking she was the best dish he had seen in ages before mumbling quietly, ‘So do I.’

  ‘Mali’s funny!’

  Esme was giggling, down to Leon keeping her amused and the amount of wine she had drunk to steady her nerves. They were sitting in her kitchen; music playing in the background, and she felt extremely relaxed.

  Checking the second bottle of wine they were now drinking, she put it down to that.

  And all the time her guest spoke, she wished he was straight and a bit older.

  Leon would have been perfect.

  On closer inspection, he was very handsome with striking green eyes, his black eyelashes highlighting the colour. His hair was intense dark brown, and his skin had a light tan. Examining his arms, she could see the dark hair that was also on his chest. He had put on a shirt that hung loose, and he hadn’t totally buttoned it up.

  That’s when she begrudgingly decided he might be perfect for Alfie.

  She would gladly die for her son. Giving him her perfect man, who was also gay, would be a sign of her true love for Alfie.

  For the first time in her life, she wished she was a gay man.

  ‘If only I was,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Pardon?’ he said, filling up her glass.

  ‘I’m thinking out loud,’ she sighed and looked at him longingly, knowing it was wasted.

  ‘You do that a lot, you know,’ Leon said, grinning.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Give me that look.’

  ‘What look?’

  ‘It’s sympathetic. Do you feel sorry for me?’

  ‘No,’ she said, knowing she was going bright red at being caught. ‘I didn’t know I was doing it.’

  That only confirmed her ogling was pointless as he was a homosexual, and she was all woman.

  An ageing one.

  The idea of getting a shag off her ex-husband now looked increasingly appealing.

  Then she realised she must be drunk.

  ‘You’re not seeing Ralph so is there someone else?’ he asked, grinning at her and taking a sip of wine.

  ‘Oh no!’ she said, shaking her head from side to side. ‘There’s not been anyone since…’ Biting her lip, Esme didn’t know if she should say something. Maybe Leon could relate to it. ‘When my husband left me, I was in pieces. There were many reasons that I won’t go into. I was heartbroken.’

  Sipping her drink, she smiled at Leon looking at her while eating a poppadum.

  ‘Did it take you long to recover from it?’ he gently asked. ‘When people let you down, it takes time.’

  ‘I still am heartbroken,’ she honestly replied. ‘I thought we’d be together forever and I probably wasn’t enough for him.’

  ‘But you dated men since then?’

  ‘This sounds pitiful,’ she replied, reaching out to take some more chicken tikka chunks. ‘I did try and date but something happened that stopped me. I met a man, a nice guy, well, I thought he was. He seemed to like Alfie, and Alfie liked him but was a little wary. My son has a good radar and is wise beyond his years. This person wasn’t what he seemed.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘Please, never repeat it. I don’t want you to say anything when you meet my son. It might still upset him.’

  ‘I won’t say a word,’ Leon replied and then frowned. ‘Go on.’

  ‘This man used to stay the night in this house. We were getting on well, and I thought all was good. Then one night, he wasn’t in my bed. I thought he was downstairs, only to find he was in bed with my son.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ he said, immediately dropping his food.

  ‘I panicked but I didn’t want to alarm Alfie, who was fast asleep. The man said he wanted a cuddle, but I’m not stupid. No, that’s not right; I was stupid!’ Esme started to get upset, thinking about what happened twelve years previously. ‘My eleven-year-old son could have been sexually assaulted because I brought this monster into my house.’

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘I dragged him out of the bed, seeing he had a hard on, and kicked him in the bollocks with all my might. I told him I would repor
t him to the police if he ever made contact with us again. I also made sure I had made my secateurs on hand, so he knew I meant business.’ Taking a deep breath, she tried to compose herself, knowing she was close to tears. ‘I’ve fought for my son all his life and I wasn’t going to let some paedophile abuse him under my roof. I swore then and there; I’d never bring a man into my home. Never leave my child vulnerable.’

  ‘You’ve not dated anyone for that long?’

  ‘No man has stayed in my bed, under my roof when my son has been here. I would never let that happen.’ Esme could see Leon looked shocked. ‘But I have had sex over the past decade, to make sure nothing closes up unexpectedly.’ She let out an uncomfortable laugh. ‘Ethan, who you know…’ Leon went bright red. ‘He suffered worse than my son because of where he lived and his background. Alfie was protected by me and his grandmother. She’s a whole other story.’

  There was silence for a few minutes as Leon sat there, looking at his plate.

  ‘Does it get easier looking after a child alone? You made the decision not to have another person in your life. Do you think that was right?’ Leon asked, leaning forward. ‘Haven’t you forsaken your happiness to protect your son?’

  ‘I love him. My happiness is irrelevant as long as he’s happy. That’s all I want.’ Esme shrugged. ‘And being alone? It’s fine. I made my decision and stuck with it. Does it get easier being a single parent family? The older they get, the more you love them. When you think you’re all loved out, well, you’re wrong. They make you love them even more.’

  ‘You made a major sacrifice.’

  ‘Not really,’ she laughed sitting back in her chair. ‘I never fancied anyone, to be honest. So no big loss.’ Esme tilted her head and looked at Leon. ‘What about you?’

  ‘When Ben walked out, I thought my life had fallen to pieces. Mali was only two weeks old and…’ She watched him frown as if trying to push away the pain. ‘I was hurt and completely devastated. I had no idea what was going on. I thought having a baby was what we both wanted. I was wrong.’

  ‘And Ben? What happened afterwards?’

  ‘Pissed off and moved to Spain, allegedly. I put the legal requirements in that Mali is my child, no one else’s. It’s up to Mali if she wants to see Ben. When she’s older, I’ll tell her all about it. She has a right to know.’

  ‘Do you need to tell her?’ she asked, thinking that this other guy might be the genetic father, hence the comments about Leon not being her dad.

  She shook her head.

  The child looked like her drop dead gorgeous father.

  ‘There should have been two of us, not just me.’ Leon slowly ate his food, and she could see his sadness. She wished she could give him a cuddle. ‘Maybe one day I’ll meet someone.’

  ‘I’m surprised you haven’t. How old are you?’

  ‘Thirty-five,’ he said, glancing quickly up at her before looking down at his plate.

  ‘That means when I was having Alfie you were twelve.’ She laughed at the idea of Leon being in his school uniform, and probably hadn’t hit puberty, when she gave birth. Her crush now seemed ridiculous. ‘I could say I’m old enough to be your mother. I think older sister or aunt sounds better.’ Clearing her throat, she looked closely at him as he ate. ‘You’re young. You could have more kids. Your future’s ahead of you.’

  ‘And your future?’ he asked, looking up at Esme. ‘Where’s yours?’

  ‘I think I left it behind, somewhere or another.’

  ‘But daddy!’

  Mali was crying as she didn’t want to go to the hairdressers. ‘I not like!’

  ‘Grandma wants us to get your fringe cut,’ he said, knowing that was a lie.

  His mother wanted him to meet Melanie, the hairdresser she wanted to fix him up with.

  He wasn’t keen but thought he would keep his mum happy.

  ‘I need to see your pretty eyes,’ he said gently, looking at his red-faced child. ‘Don’t you get a lollipop when you go?’

  ‘I get a lollipop from Esme,’ she said, big fat tears rolling down her face. ‘Can Esme cut my fringe?’

  ‘Oh Mali, just this once.’

  ‘But daddy!’ She wailed even louder. ‘She tells me off!’

  ‘Who does?’

  ‘The woman who cuts my hair. She tells me to keep still and squeezes me.’

  ‘But you have to keep still to get your hair cut.’

  ‘I not want it cut!’

  Seeing he was in a no-win situation, he wondered how to placate the child so he could get her into the van and drive to his mother's house. He looked out the window and realised he hadn’t seen Esme for a week since sharing dinner.

  Leon had walked away that night and realised he liked Esme, but the age difference bugged him.

  Also, she was his neighbour, and it would make it all messy.

  Plus she didn’t want a relationship but had sex.

  He wondered who with and then shrugged.

  ‘Can I see Esme?’ Mali said, still crying; now her face wet with snot and tears. ‘I not seen her for a long time.’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, wiping Mali’s little round face and making her blow her nose. ‘Let’s see if she’s in.’

  Packing a small bag for Mali as he knew she would get upset with cut hair in her clothes, he took her hand and went out the front door.

  ‘I want to see Esme,’ Mali said again, on the verge of crying again.

  ‘Let’s go the front way for a change.’

  Leon noticed both her vans were there, and he felt excited. She hadn’t been on site all week, leaving it to Shona, Tracy and another lady called Linda. They made him laugh, but he wanted to see Esme. She had been called away to help out on some emergency jobs.

  ‘Go on, knock on the door,’ he said, watching Mali tap the letter box.

  ‘Coming!’ he heard her shout.

  Esme opened the door, and he felt this sudden surge of affection on seeing her. She smiled at him then looked down at Mali.

  Within a second, Mali burst into tears.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ Leon mumbled and saw his child force the tears out.

  ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asked Esme, grabbing Mali’s hand and walking back into the house. ‘I don’t like to see you looking so unhappy.’

  ‘I not want to get hurt!’ cried Mali, now sobbing, as Esme put the child on her lap and looked into her face. ‘I not like her and she hurt my hair!’ Suddenly, Mali put her hands on her head. ‘Daddy’s making me go.’

  Leon walked into the room and could see that Esme was preparing food on the counter. He wondered if she had someone coming round for dinner. There was a twinge of jealousy that took him by surprise.

  ‘My mum wants Mali to get her fringe cut but Mali doesn’t want to go,’ he quietly said, sitting down on the chair opposite.

  He could see Esme was trying not to laugh, so kissed Mali’s head.

  That’s when he noticed how similar they looked and wondered if that was why he was attracted to Esme. He shook that thought out of his head, thinking it was a completely wrong scenario.

  It could be she had a similar colouring to Bennylita.

  Though Esme had an elegance and class that his ex lacked in spades.

  ‘Where are you going to get this haircut?’ Esme asked quietly.

  ‘Where Nana lives,’ Mali said, wiping her face with a sleeve.

  ‘Primrose Hill,’ he added, watching Esme stand up with Mali in her arms, and walking to the box of tissues.

  She took a few sheets and wiped Mali’s face, sitting her on the side before looking at her.

  ‘You know, I’d love to see your eyes because they are so pretty,’ Esme said gently, wiping the child’s face. Leon could see Mali was mesmerised by her. ‘It doesn’t hurt when you get your haircut, but my son never kept still, and he had nearly identical hair to yours. I know a hairdresser who used to cut Alfie’s hair. She can come to your home and do it if you prefer. But, for now, go and get your haircut. Two loll
ipops if you do and ice cream, if your dad allows it.’

  ‘Who is she?’ asked Mali.

  ‘My best friend Alicia.’

  ‘I like her.’

  ‘You’ve not met her,’ Leon interrupted, loving the way Esme dealt with Mali.

  If only he could do the same thing, it would make his life less complicated.

  ‘I’m very pleased you both came round. I was wondering, would you like to come for lunch tomorrow? My son and his grandmother are coming. I’d love for you to meet my family,’ Esme asked Mali who nodded. ‘Is that okay?’ Then she turned to look at Leon and something fluttered in his gut again. ‘I’m making a lamb tagine if that’s okay? I can do roast chicken as well.’

  ‘I like rice,’ Mali said, smiling for the first time in an hour Leon noticed. ‘And sweetcorn and peas and ice cream.’

  ‘Well, I’ll make sure I have all that for you.’ Esme smiled at Leon, and he couldn’t fathom out how he was feeling. ‘How’s it been this week? I hear you’ve sorted out the electrics, and now there seems to be a field being delivered.’

  ‘Oh yes, the plants,’ he said, standing up and walking over to them. Mali was smiling at Esme. He thought she looked like she was in love. ‘I start work next week. Are you coming back in?’

  ‘Yes, I need to get up on that ladder again,’ she laughed. ‘The ladies seem smitten with you.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ asked Mali, looking at him then at Esme. ‘Mitten?’

  ‘It’s smitten, and they like your daddy,’ she whispered.

  ‘I like my daddy.’

  ‘Well, that’s good,’ he said, letting out a long sigh. ‘Can we go now?’

  ‘Yes,’ Mali said, stretching out her arms so he would pick her up. ‘But she hurts me. You tell her off!’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, before turning to Esme. ‘What time tomorrow?’

  ‘Come at noon and we’ll eat about one o’clock.’

  ‘Do I need to bring anything?’

  ‘Just her and yourself,’ Esme said, leaning over to kiss Mali on the cheek, which made the little girl break out into a wide grin. ‘Be good and I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  He walked out of the house and towards his van, putting Mali in the child seat and buckling her up. Leon noticed Mali was smiling.