by S M Mala
‘Sure.’
Leon watched her jump off the chair and run towards the sofa. He turned to his parents.
‘Leon, I knew she was in Spain,’ his mother blurted out, making him do a double take. ‘I never trusted her, you see.’
He thought he heard incorrectly, then noticed his father grimace.
‘I don’t understand. You knew where she was?’
‘Son, even with the settlement and everything, your mother had a funny feeling Bennylita would come back and cause trouble. We made sure all the documents were legal, and she can’t do anything, but this episode in Nerja isn’t good.’ Stan cleared his throat. ‘She married a much older man, quite well off, and had a child after Mali. I’ve always made sure we kept an eye on her whereabouts.’
‘I don’t think he’s that rich,’ his mother muttered.
He was stunned into silence.
‘Not for once did we think she would go to where we had the apartment, not for once,’ Barbara said, looking like she was going to cry. ‘What if she snatched Mali? I wish we’d said. I didn’t think when you went away. I was more concerned about you.’
Mali was sat on the floor, looking up at the television set. Her legs crossed as instructed by school. The idea that she could have been taken from him made it all seem so much more horrific.
‘Make sure she doesn’t come near me or Mali again,’ he said quietly. ‘If you know where she is, then you can get a message to her. What she did was in breach of our agreement. I don’t want Mali confused. If she didn’t care then, why does she care now? Unless she wants something else.’
‘What do you think it is?’ his father asked. ‘If it isn’t just Mali?’
‘I know,’ his mother said, looking straight at him.
‘What?’ Leon asked.
‘You.’
‘Ralph!’
Since he came to see her when Mali was slapped, Esme hadn’t laid eyes on him.
It was nearly a month since the incident with Oscar.
And in all that time, she was completely loved up with Leon.
She still hadn’t told him what she felt, knowing that rushing things wouldn’t help matters.
And nearly every night they spent together, still discreet enough for Mali not to know.
But in all that time, she knew she needed to speak to the posh man across the road.
‘Esme!’ he said, getting out of his car and turning to look at her with a sneer.
‘It’s been a while since I last saw you,’ she smiled, knowing his cold greeting was supposed to make her feel bad. ‘How’ve you been?’
‘Very well,’ came the curt reply. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘I wanted to talk.’
‘Please keep away from me,’ he said quite sharply. ‘I’m sorry I can’t play one of your silly games. I’ve met someone, and I’m not interested anymore. She’s a lovely young woman.’
‘Okay,’ she shrugged, relieved by the comment then realising that wasn’t the reaction he wanted. Though she did get the fact, he said ‘young’ was a dig at her. ‘I understand.’
‘And I don’t need you to cook or cater for me again.’
‘I never made any money, only spent my time, which I never charged for.’ Then she looked at him. ‘You can’t be civil, and then that’s okay. I think you need to apologise to me, not the other way round. If it makes you happy, I’m sorry I put the Pavlova over your head. It was a waste!’
The look was challenging as it was furious from Ralph.
‘I won’t speak to you again, and we can go back to how it was before,’ she said, turning around. ‘It makes no difference to me.’
Crossing over, she knew he would be an arsehole about things. But she tried, and there was nothing more she could do. Walking towards her coffee cart, she started to clean it.
Ralph was staring at her from the other side of the road then looked down the road at something, before storming into his house.
She turned her head and let out a massive sigh.
Leon was walking down the road with Mali. The little girl was skipping and singing.
Catching his eye, he smiled, and she was lost.
Thing is, Esme was completely lost and in love. As hard as she tried not to show it, any fool could see. Even Alfie had asked her if something was up.
He said she had a stupid fixed grin on her face, most of the time.
Knowing her son, and Steph were coming to her home for dinner that same Friday night, she wished Leon could be with them. Then if he was, it would be obvious something was going on. But he arranged to meet Graham for a Friday night drink.
He promised to creep into her bed later on, to give her a massive surprise.
‘Esme!’ shouted out Mali, skipping up to her then flinging her arms around her waist. ‘How are you?’
The hug made her smile.
‘I’m well. Cleaning this old thing so it’s sparkling for Monday. How was school?’
‘Mr Alfie Reeves said we have three weeks left then the school summer holidays! Hooray!’
‘Hello Esme,’ Leon said, walking up to her. ‘I noticed you were neighbourly.’
‘I tried to speak to him but he’s not interested. Ralph has met a lovely young woman and is very happy.’
‘Good! Then you not have to marry him,’ said Mali, looking up at her. ‘You not have to be nice.’
‘Esme can’t help but be nice,’ Leon said quietly. ‘And sometimes she’s very nice.’
Her phone started to ring, and it was Oscar.
Suddenly her mood changed.
‘Who is it?’ Leon asked, taking Mali’s hand.
‘Oscar.’
‘You’re going to have to speak to him one day,’ he said, leading Mali away. ‘Come on kiddo. I better get you washed and changed before I drop you off at Nana’s.’
She held the phone tightly in her hand, watching them go into their home. Leon flashed her a sympathetic smile.
‘Hello Oscar,’ she said, sitting in her coffee cart. There was just a sigh down the other end of the line. ‘What can I do to help?’
‘I’m sorry.’ There was no answer to the apology. ‘Esme, are you still there?’
‘In all the times we met up, you never told me of your plans.’
‘What was there to say?’
‘Oh, I don’t know? What about the truth? If you were going to do this, then you knew even sleeping with me a few times a year was going to cause havoc for you. And Alfie? What was that about? You hurt my son!’ She couldn’t hide the anger in her voice. ‘You are such a selfish bastard, do you know that?’ Taking control of her temper, she marched into her home waiting for Oscar to speak. ‘Do you love anyone other than yourself?’
‘This is very important to me. It takes years from the primaries to running for office.’
That’s when she realised it was true.
The shock nearly made her keel over.
‘Oscar, you can’t run for president let alone vice president. It’s just not logical and-.’
‘Do you know why I left you?’ he asked. Somehow, Esme didn’t want to hear it, knowing it would hurt. ‘I knew from a very young age I wanted to get involved in politics. As I got older, it never faded. When I met you, I put it on the back burner, stayed in London, but I realised I couldn’t do it with you at my side.’
Esme pulled back her large door and stood on the patio, looking up at the sky.
‘What you mean is that I wasn’t good enough,’ she mumbled. ‘Hence you married a lawyer and had your sparkling life and ugly kids together.’
‘It was never about Alfie being gay.’
‘It was about me?’ Sitting down on a chair, she felt shaky. ‘Then why punish the child?’
‘Every time I see you, Esme, I think I made a mistake. I knew I couldn’t see you because I’d change my mind. Courtney has been my rock, my focus. You’ve always been a distraction.’
Closing her eyes, Esme felt the tears trickle down her face.
‘I was delayed.’
‘Doing what?’ She hesitated. ‘Or should I ask whom?’
‘Esme, I need to speak to him. It’s important I clear the air.’
‘You mean you don’t want him to say anything bad about the father who abandoned him.’ Then she hesitated. ‘And what about me? Where do I fit into it? And Steph? Are you going to speak to your mother again?’
‘Why do you make things so complicated?’ he said flatly.
The tone reminded her of how he used to speak to her, all those years back.
As if she wasn’t quite as intelligent as him.
She wasn’t, but neither was she as thick as he thought she was.
‘Contact your mother and sort things out. If she thinks you’re genuine, then you can contact Alfie. I’m surprised you haven’t tried already.’ Esme knew he had, but her son wasn’t playing ball. ‘I hate you for the way you treat him. It makes me realise you don’t deserve him as a son.’
There was a long sigh, knowing he was getting pissed off.
‘And stop calling me. You used me for all these years, knowing I was scared about making a commitment to someone. And you did that for your own benefit.’ Then she took a deep breath. ‘I’ve fallen in love with a man and I realise there’s more to life than you.’
‘In love?’ There was no hiding the surprise in his voice. ‘You?’
‘Yes me!’
He started to laugh as if she had said something extremely funny.
‘Oh, fuck off Oscar!’
‘Esme.’
Leon sighed quietly to himself when he got home late Friday afternoon.
He had been in the garden when he overheard her conversation, obviously with her ex-husband, the previous Tuesday. She was upset, and when he peeked through the garden fence, he could see Esme’s tears.
Whatever her ex said certainly hurt.
Then she said she was in love, and Leon’s heart was fit to burst.
Walking towards the end of his garden, he heard voices. He immediately thought to turn away.
‘Leon,’ Esme said, popping her head up and smiling.
‘You’ve grown,’ he laughed, wanting to kiss her.
‘I’m standing on a bucket, Alfie’s come round for a chat. Come join us.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m doubly sure.’ Then she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, over the fence. ‘Hello.’
‘You’re being a bit open.’
‘I broke the news to him this afternoon. Is that okay?’
‘So you’re banging my mother, are you?’ asked Alfie. Leon turned to see he was standing by the house with a massive grin. ‘She’s a lucky old woman.’
‘I’m the lucky man,’ Leon replied, looking back at her. ‘Very lucky.’
Her smile lifted his heart, and he walked through the gate, towards Esme.
They were the same height.
Kissing her on the cheek, he helped her step down.
‘Now that’s sweet,’ said Alfie, sitting down at the table and grinning. ‘I wonder why my mother looked so happy, considering her ex is being a pain in the butt.’
‘Alfie, not now,’ Esme said, gently stroking Leon’s back. It instantly gave him tingles. ‘I don’t want to discuss your father. He annoyed me last time we spoke, and I’ve had enough.’
‘What did he say to upset you?’ Leon asked, waiting to see if she would mention her admission. He smiled seeing her pursed lips. ‘Was it bad?’
‘He’s just rude.’
Esme headed into the kitchen to check on something in the oven as Leon shook Alfie’s hand.
‘Are you okay about me seeing your mum?’ he asked, noticing the young man was looking at him, up and down. ‘I like her.’
‘She likes you but treat her nicely.’ Sitting next to Alfie, Leon could see the younger man looked perplexed while he sipped his tea. ‘I heard what happened about Mali meeting her mother. Are you okay?’
‘A bit pissed off but I’ll get there.’
‘She’s been telling everyone that she has a little brother and her mum lives in Spain. The other kids didn’t believe her then she showed them the photo.’
Leon noticed Alfie grimace as he said it. The plummeting feeling in his gut was pretty sharp, seeing his daughter was proudly telling everyone.
‘I see,’ Leon gulped and forced a smile. ‘Has she spoken a lot about it?’
‘Just this week. I asked mum, and she told me what happened.’ Alfie put down his cup. ‘I told kids the same thing when my father had more children. It’s like you sort of want people to know you’re not alone. There are others like you. And, to my detriment, I’ve not made contact with my half-sisters. They seem detached from my life.’
‘Do you want to?’
‘They’re nothing to do with me, not now. They’re my father’s family.’
Esme was stood by the door, looking over at them.
‘Do you want Mali to see her mother?’ asked Alfie and Leon stared at Esme, as she winced at the comment. ‘I can only tell you that if you allow it, then it might make her happy, or it might confuse her. If you stop it, then Mali might resent you for missing out. She’s far too young to make a decision like that.’
‘Oh God!’ he said loudly, putting his face in his hands, wishing he wasn’t going through the personal hell that was his ex. ‘Why now?’
‘Why not?’ Esme said, and he heard her footsteps, then felt her hand on the back of his head. ‘She probably wants to see how Mali has turned out. That child is exceptionally lovely, and I challenge anyone not to love her. It’s impossible.’
‘Okay, I’m going to have to love you and leave you,’ sighed Alfie. ‘I’m going out with Ethan and we’re hitting some bars.’
‘How’s that going?’ Esme asked, sitting next to Leon. He looked up at her and noticed she was frowning at her son. ‘Is it serious?’
‘It’s fun.’
‘But you’re safe?’
‘Mother!’ Alfie laughed, getting to his feet then stopped. ‘Dad contacted me directly. Wants to meet on a one to one after he speaks to grandma.’
‘What?’ she said, completely alarmed. Leon smiled, seeing she looked furious. ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’
‘Because I was waiting for Leon to come. That way I know you won’t explode. And dad said you asked him to do it in that order.’
‘You’re not going to see him, are you?’
‘I thought you wanted me to meet him!’
‘That was then, and this is now,’ she sharply replied as Alfie raised his eyebrows then looked at Leon.
‘Sometimes I’m so happy I’m not straight. Women just keep changing their minds.’
‘Tell me about it,’ he replied, sitting back in his chair, holding Esme’s hand then thinking about Bennylita and her recent trickery. The words of his mother ringing in his ears that maybe his ex wanted him back. It was far too confusing to contemplate. ‘I won’t let your mother down, you do know that, don’t you? I’ll treat her with the upmost respect.’
‘That’d be a first,’ he mumbled, leaning down to kiss Esme. ‘I do love you mummy. I like your new fella better.’
‘Thanks, child,’ she said, kissing his cheek. ‘But you have to let me be with you when you meet your father.’
‘I can do it alone.’
‘I don’t want you to be alone,’ she sighed and Leon felt a surge of love for her. ‘I’m your mum. I’m here to protect you.’ Alfie let out a groan, patting her head and grinned. ‘I mean it.’
‘Hey Ma, I’m going away for two weeks in the summer. A friend of mine has a place in Portugal. I’m going to hang out there,’ Alfie replied, stretching out. ‘And I’m going to do a few more shoots.’
‘You
’re going back to modelling!’
‘She hyperventilates, you know.’ He laughed out loudly. ‘I’ve been approached by the agency. They think I could do well now I’m a bit older.’
Leon knew he could do very well, looking at the exceptionally handsome young man.
‘Fine!’ she said standing up. ‘I need a drink.’
Esme walked into the kitchen and headed for the fridge.
‘She hates me modelling, thinks it’s an industry full of creeps. I want to earn the extra cash, and it’s fun,’ he whispered, leaning closer to Leon.
Alfie turned around, walking towards Esme, then gave her a hug before leaving.
‘Bloody Oscar!’ she hissed, returning with two large glasses of wine. ‘I bet he’s planning to kidnap my child to secure votes.’
‘Esme, what did your ex say to wind you up? You’re not usually so mean about him.’
‘He’s an arse.’ She sat down, handing him a glass. ‘A conceited one.’
He smiled.
That was all he could do, seeing her frown.
Then his thoughts wandered to Mali, and he felt a stabbing pain in his heart. Esme touched his face and looked straight at him.
‘You have this sad face when you’re thinking. Don’t worry about Mali. She’s just proud she has other family, that’s all.’ Then she hesitated. ‘Did you used to get upset a lot… before?’
‘In the old flat I was pretty sad. It took a while for me to get my head around what happened. Bringing up a girl on your own is hard. I’m not very girlie.’ Leon gulped hard. ‘She must have seen me cry before. I never knew.’ Esme gently rubbed her knuckles against his chin. ‘I don’t want her to worry about me.’
‘She loves you.’
‘What if Ben tries to contact her? What do I do?’
‘You assess the situation and take it from there. I’m not going to tell you to let her see Mali. I’d never do that. Each situation is individual. You have to do what’s best for you. For Mali.’
He leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips, inhaling her breath as he did so. There was a mixture of happy and sad in his heart; a confusion he was trying to deal with.
‘I love you,’ he said, unable to hold it in. Her eyes widened as she stared. ‘I think I’ve known it for a long time.’
