by S M Mala
‘I love you, Esme. I truly do.’
‘And I love you but can I speak to you about something?’
‘Now? I thought we were taking our kissing onto another level.’
She stroked his hair, and he knew she was ticking something over.
‘If Bennylita came back into your life, what would you do?’
‘That’s not going to happen!’ he laughed out, confused by the question.
‘What if she left her husband and wanted to get back together with you?’
Staring deeply into her eyes, he could see she was serious. He let out a long, deep breath and shook his head from side to side.
‘People do change their minds,’ she continued, moving closer to him. ‘What if she said she was suffering from post-natal depression and that’s why she was distant?’
Turning her around, so she was on her back, he took a moment to ponder on what to say.
‘I went to our family’s solicitor this week and found out about Bennylita. She married an older guy and had a kid, so I don’t think she had the baby blues. I guess she was depressed at being with me.’
‘Don’t say that,’ Esme gasped and he noticed tears in her eyes. ‘Never say that.’
‘You’re so sweet,’ he sighed, kissing her cheek. ‘There was a question whether she wanted me back, and I immediately felt unhappy at the thought. I don’t want to be with her.’
‘Why not? You loved her.’
Closing his eyes, he buried his face in her neck, smelling her familiar perfume. Then he pulled his head away and smiled.
‘I was very attracted to her, and the sex was great but I was relieved I’d found someone at the ripe old age of twenty-nine. The only good thing that came out of the relationship is Mali.’
‘What if she told you something that might change your mind?’ Esme said sadly. ‘Why has she been emailing you?’
‘I don’t know, and right now, I don’t care.’
That’s when Leon realised that Esme was scared of losing him, and he loved her even more. Bennylita was too sure of his love for her, never doubting he could want anyone else.
And Esme was quite fragile when it came to affairs of the heart.
‘There’s nothing she can say that will ever change my mind.’
‘Kiss again.’
Mali said, happy they were holding hands, walking down the road.
‘Not yet,’ Leon laughed and glanced at Esme.
Her heart was fit to burst.
The lovemaking was intense the previous night. She felt something happen, taking them to another level. Esme realised he really did love her.
Though the information about Bennylita gave her a niggling doubt.
‘The house is just there,’ Esme said, seeing Alfie walk down the path.
‘I can see Mr Alfie Reeves!’ shouted out Mali, running towards him, her two braids flapping either side of her head.
‘How do you feel about meeting the nutty extended family?’ she asked, looking up at him. He was smiling to himself. ‘We’re not that bad.’
‘How are you going to introduce me?’ Leon asked.
Her heart was beating very fast, even when they looked at each other, she felt excited and desperate to hold him in her arms.
‘I’m going to tell them you’re with me.’
‘Not boyfriend?’
‘If you want.’ Then she noticed Alfie was shaking Mali’s hand before waving over at them. ‘But she doesn’t know, so I’m not sure if we should.’
‘I think she suspects.’ Leon stroked her neck, making tingles go down her spine. ‘And you were in my bed this morning.’
‘But she didn’t see us.’
‘Because you got up at the crack of dawn to go back to your home.’ He grabbed her hand. ‘I want you in my bed or your bed, every night. Can we do that from now on?’ Her smile probably said it all. ‘Good.’
They got to the gate, and she noticed Leon frown.
He was looking at the garden.
‘Some people just don’t like gardening,’ she laughed. ‘If you think this is bad, wait to see her back garden.’ Leon’s face was a picture. ‘I love you.’ He snapped out of his shock and grinned. ‘Very much.’
‘And I love you.’
‘Hold my hand. You’re going to need support.’
Walking into the house, she smiled at the array of sculptures her mother in law had picked up. It was like going into an antique shop, with the varying items that showed exactly how haphazard Steph could be.
There were a few people she recognised, but a majority were new additions to the clan.
‘There you are!’ said Steph, rushing up to her. ‘Be a love and help me give out some food.’ Then she glanced at Leon. ‘Aren’t you a lucky girl?’
‘Be discreet because Mali doesn’t know,’ Esme replied.
‘The beautiful child is playing with your beautiful son,’ she sighed and kissed Leon quickly on the cheek. ‘Do you mind me borrowing her? She’s so good at being subservient.’ There was a wicked twinkle in Steph’s eye. ‘I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.’
Taking the tray out of her hand, Esme started handing out the canapés and grinned at Leon being flocked my some oldies.
‘Do you think he has grey-dar?’ whispered her son, standing a few inches behind her. She turned, pulling his neck down to give him a big kiss on the cheek. ‘My, my, he’s certainly giving you a glow.’
‘When are you going on holiday?’
‘Tuesday for the assignment then I head off to Lisbon. Can’t wait!’ he said, clapping his hands together. ‘Don’t frown. I’ll be fine.’
‘Have you heard from your dad?’ she asked, holding out the tray to passing guests.
‘I’ve been busy,’ Alfie shrugged, sipping his beer.
Esme glanced at the well-trodden floor boards and couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
‘I was thinking,’ he said, standing in front of her. ‘I’ll let him have his say eventually, and then I can say my bit. I want to get it off my chest and move on.’ Then he grinned. ‘Thing is mum; it’s what comes out about you that worries me.’ Her son glanced at Leon. ‘And with him, I think dad might be a little bit miffed, don’t you?’
‘Your father laughed at me when I said I was in love.’
‘Love!’ gasped Alfie, starting to laugh.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘I never thought I’d see the day when you’d fall in love with someone, other than dad.’
‘That’s what I thought.’
‘Mum, that’s wonderful!’
Her son grabbed her, giving a massive hug before kissing her on the cheek.
‘And he says he loves me.’
‘Obviously,’ shrugged Alfie, before giving a devastating smile in his direction. ‘Are you sure he’s not gay?’
‘You have to have some hetros in the family!’ said Steph, pushing Esme out of the room and into the garden. ‘Go and distribute!’
‘Where’s your imaginary girlfriend?’
‘She’s on her way!’
After half an hour, she managed to get a drink and was standing with Leon. They discreetly touched hands and looked at the people in the garden, spilling out from the house.
‘Stay in my bed tomorrow morning, please?’ he whispered, brushing his lips against her neck.
‘Then you have to tell Mali we’re together. It’s best she hears it from her dad.’
‘I want to make love to you again.’
She broke out into goose pimples. Quickly she kissed him on the lips.
‘I need to go to the bathroom,’ he said, handing over his bottle of beer. ‘Keep this for me.’
Leon walked off and she examined his bronzed legs and smart pair of shorts, for special occasions, he said. Waiting for him to come back, she felt happy.
‘Esme!’ Steph shouted as she turned to see her pulling a woman along. ‘I want you to meet someone.’
The handsome woman was medium height, with short dark hai
r and trendy glasses. She had a smart jacket on, t-shirt and jeans, with some skate shoes.
She reminded her of someone, but she couldn’t figure out who.
‘Hello,’ Esme said, putting out her hand. ‘I’m Esme and you are?’
‘Lucia?’ Leon said, walking straight up with a smile. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Do you know her?’ asked Steph, looking delighted.
‘Leon?’ Lucia looked shocked to see him.
‘Are you his sister?’ Esme asked, gasping and seeing Leon’s confused expression.
‘As well as Steph’s girlfriend,’ Lucia said, starting to smile. ‘I certainly am.’
‘Oh my word!’ shouted out Steph, looking delighted. ‘You know your brother is banging the mother of my grandson, don’t you?’
‘You’re gay?’
Leon was knocking back scotch on rocks, knowing Lucia was finding his reaction amusing. ‘And you’re with Steph?’
‘Yes and yes.’ She pinched his cheeks as he turned to see Alfie laughing with his shocked looking mother. ‘And you’re with her? She’s beautiful. How did you manage that?’
‘She’s my next door neighbour.’
‘The one dad fancies?’ Lucia started to laugh. ‘Talk about keeping it in the family!’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He keeps going on about this knockout woman you live next door to. Little does he know you’re knocking her off.’
‘Do they know you’re gay?’ he asked, pulling her away, so no-one could hear.
‘Mother nearly combusted when she found out you saw Bennylita, only changing her mind when it became on trend to have a grandchild from a different ethnicity.’ Lucia tapped her brother’s cheek. ‘You think she’ll be happy about finding out I’m gay? I don’t think so.’
‘Does Lauren know?’
‘I told her when I was fourteen.’
Unable to focus, he saw Esme walking over with Alfie.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Seriously, baby brother?’ she asked, taking a deep breath. ‘Because you wouldn’t understand that women couldn’t find men attractive.’
‘That’s unfair.’
‘What a small world?’ laughed Alfie, putting out his hand. ‘I’m Alfie Reeves, Steph’s grandson and this is my mother, who you have already met.’
‘You look a little shocked,’ said Esme, stepping closer to Leon. ‘You didn’t know?’
‘I don’t seem to know much,’ he said, sipping his drink and shaking his head once again before turning to Lucia. ‘You could have told me.’
‘Oh Leon, you’re such a little spoilt boy, do you know that?’ Lucia said, kissing him on the cheek. ‘And I love you dearly but some things have to be kept a secret.’ Then she turned to Esme. ‘How long have you two been seeing each other?’
‘Not long,’ she replied, putting her hand in his. He felt immediately better. ‘We kept it a secret because we wanted to.’
‘Esme! My auntie Lucia is a lesbee with Mr Alfie Reeves’ grandmother!’
‘Lesbian,’ sighed Lucia, picking up her niece and giving her a hug. ‘We can’t tell Nana and Grandpa just yet.’
‘I not say anything,’ Mali said, shaking her two braids. ‘I not say I saw Esme boobies when she was in bed with Daddy.’
‘Mali!’ Leon hissed. ‘When did you see that?’
‘I peek a boo and saw a boobie!’ she laughed out loudly, and he saw Esme blush while Alfie nudged his mother in the side. ‘And I saw your bum bum, daddy.’
‘I need a top up.’
Leon walked towards the drinks, still holding Esme’s hand.
‘I think Mali might know about us,’ she said, squeezing his palm, glancing at his giggling child. ‘Oh lord, you look so shocked.’
‘She said she was in love but I thought it was a man,’ he said, feeling a bit shaky. ‘And it’s Steph.’
‘I know. How random is that?’
‘Alfie’s grandmother. Your ex’s mother and-.’ Leon stopped in mid-sentence. ‘This is going to come out, isn’t it?’
‘Considering your sister has just come out to you, I expect it will.’
Then he saw her laugh.
‘What’s so funny?’ he grimaced.
‘Come here.’
She grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the lips, which took him by surprise.
‘And they kiss, and they hold hands!’ he heard Mali say, still in his aunt’s arms. ‘And they have tummy aches.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Alfie and Leon held his breath.
‘They make tummy ache sounds.’
‘Which sounds like what?’
‘Oh! Ah!’ Mali innocently said, rubbing her stomach. ‘They had bad tummy ache last night.’
Leon heard a few people erupt into laughter as he joined in.
‘What does that make us?’
Esme asked as they walked back to Leon’s house mid-evening. Mali was asleep in his arms, exhausted from all the excitement. She could see Leon was still a little shell-shocked from what happened a few hours earlier. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Everyone kept asking me that, but I don’t know,’ he said, looking genuinely confused. ‘I’ve never seen Lucia kiss anyone other than immediately family. Seeing her with Steph was a … I don’t know, to be honest.’
‘The age difference doesn’t seem to faze them.’ She glanced at him before looking straight ahead. ‘And they’re in love. I hope your parents won’t get upset.’
‘I think we’re going to have to get some heavy tranquilisers when we break the news to them.’ He let out a little laugh. ‘Me and you. She and her. I don’t know what my mother’s going to think.’
‘I think she’s got enough on her mind at the moment,’ Esme mumbled and caught him looking at her quizzically. ‘Women can tell these things.’
‘Why’d you say that?’
‘She was a little bit upset when I saw her last. I think she worries about you, that’s all. As all parents do about their children.’
‘Since she found out about Bennylita, she has been on edge and I’ve told her not to worry.’
Not wanting to continue the conversation, she put her hand in his as they walked down the road.
‘I think you’re a wonderful father,’ she sighed, seeing Mali’s pretty face squashed against his shoulder. ‘And this one is a very funny beauty, just like her dad.’ Esme laughed. ‘You certainly are much prettier than your sister.’
‘She looks like dad. I think she’s even got bigger muscles than him.’
Esme then did a double take.
She instantly recognised the car and stopped.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘You better take Mali in,’ she said, shaking her head in annoyance. ‘I’ve got an unexpected guest.’
A man got out of the car, only to go and open the door.
Oscar appeared.
‘Oh,’ Leon said, and he tried to release her hand, but she held on firmly until they got to his house.
She noticed Leon was looking at Oscar. Esme pulled his head and kissed him on the lips before gently placing a soft peck on Mali’s cheek.
Then she looked at Oscar, who didn’t seem too impressed. Waiting for Leon to go in the house, she furiously shook her head and walked past him, towards her front door.
‘You never come to my house, ever!’ she hissed. ‘And now is not the time to start changing things.’
‘Who’s that?’ he asked, looking over at Leon’s home.
‘Your henchmen aren’t coming into my home,’ she replied, turning to look at the chauffeur and someone else in the car. ‘And if you’ve got that lecherous PR man, you can tell him to stay there.’
‘You’re angry. I get it,’ Oscar said, standing behind her. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Can I stop you?’
Opening the front door, she walked into her house, kicking off her sandals and waited for Oscar to say something.
From the corner of her eye, s
he could see he was examining her home.
‘It’s beautiful,’ he eventually said. Esme spun to see what he was up to. ‘I wouldn’t expect anything less.’
‘You might as well move back to England, at this rate. I haven’t got anything else to say to you.’
‘Where I am in my life, right now, is very important to me. I need to know where I stand with my estranged family, and what you’re going to do and say.’
‘How long ago did you plan to go this far in your career?’ Esme asked, stepping closer. ‘When were you going to tell me?’
‘If I’d have told you that three years ago I realised what I wanted to do, and got the backing, what would you have done?’
‘I’d have stopped seeing you, knowing it was such a big thing to take on,’ she honestly replied. ‘Do you know how exposed we’re going to be if you do this?’
‘I do realise and I came here, not to upset you, but to tell you what my intentions are.’ He sat on the sofa, looking at pictures of Alfie then smiled. ‘He is an absolutely lovely young man, so I hear.’
‘What does that mean?’ Esme walked to her fridge and got out a bottle of water. ‘Have you been spying on him?’
‘I wanted to know what he was up to and needed to keep an eye,’ Oscar guiltily replied. ‘On everyone. It’s pretty odd, isn’t it, that my mum is seeing the sister of the young man you’re sleeping with.’
It all suddenly started to fall into place.
‘Have you been spying on us for all this time?’ Esme stepped closer as he looked at her bare feet and smiled. ‘Tell me!’
‘I was making sure that you were all right, and there were no dubious characters coming into your life.’
‘How dare you!’
‘You made a little error with one man years ago.’
‘Get out!’ she shouted, seeing Oscar shrug. ‘You’re a shit, do you know that? You couldn’t be bothered to meet your son, but you certainly were eager enough to see what he got up to.’
‘I need to make amends with Alfie. And with my mother. I don’t care what you think about me, but you need to know I’ve always had this plan for my future.’
‘We’re not important.’
‘You are very important.’ Oscar glared at her before it was replaced with a grimace. ‘I told her about us.’
