Serenity (Inevitable Book 5)

by Janet Nissenson

  “Yeah, I know.” Matthew sighed. “But it’s more complicated than that, buddy. I promised myself that I wouldn’t get in touch with her again until I had those signed divorce papers in hand. It isn’t fair to Sasha otherwise. So let’s hope that your mother’s greed outweighs her vindictiveness.”

  Casey’s eyes, so like his father’s, twinkled mischievously. “You could always change the terms of the settlement again, make it a million dollars a day she loses out on if she doesn’t sign.”

  Matthew whooped with laughter, clapping his son on the back. “I think maybe you should re-think becoming a computer engineer, Casey. You’d make a hell of a divorce attorney instead.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “When people talk about the glow pregnant women get, I’m very sure they were referring to you, Tessa. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so beautiful.”

  Tessa was indeed glowing as she smiled with pleasure at Sasha’s compliment. “I feel like I’m glowing from the inside out,” she agreed. “And everything I read about morning sickness and having no energy and all the other symptoms just haven’t materialized yet. Julia says I’m a freak of nature, and that it isn’t normal to be two months pregnant and not feel even a little bit awful.”

  Sasha shook her head. “Nonsense. No two women will experience the same symptoms when they’re pregnant, so it’s not surprising that you’re feeling so much different than Julia did.” She winked teasingly. “And knowing Julia, she’s probably just jealous that you seem to be sailing through these early weeks so easily, while she had a tough time of it.”

  Tessa’s blue eyes twinkled mischievously. “Julia can be a bit of a drama queen at times,” she acknowledged. “But I think she’s right that I might be something of a freak by feeling so wonderful.”

  “Enjoy this special time in your life,” replied Sasha encouragingly. “But even though you feel good, you need to be careful not to overdo it, hmm? I’m glad to see that you were hydrating all during class, and taking things a little easy. You’re strong and fit and should easily be able to keep doing this class up through your final trimester. But listen to your body, Tessa. And if it’s telling you to back off, then do so. Morgana teaches a wonderful pre-natal yoga class here, and by your seventh month that’s something you might want to consider.”

  Tessa sighed. “Careful, or you’ll start to sound like Ian. He’s already so overprotective of me I feel like I’m living in a glass bubble at times. And I know the further along I get in this pregnancy the worse he’s going to get.”

  Sasha gave her friend a little squeeze on the shoulder. “Enjoy it,” she advised. “Your husband is so devoted to you, Tessa, that it almost brings a tear to my eye to watch him around you. He’ll be the same with your child.”

  “I know.” Tessa nodded. “Especially if the baby is a girl. And Ian has made his wishes very well known - he really wants this first one to be a little girl.”

  “Well, your husband does seem to get whatever he wants,” teased Sasha. “He wanted you for a long time from what you’ve told me, and his patience was finally rewarded. So if Ian wants a daughter, I’m thinking he’ll get one.”

  Tessa smiled. “I know it’s too early to tell, but, well - what do your vibes tell you? About the gender of the baby, that is.”

  “Hmm.” Sasha studied Tessa carefully, then placed her palm gently over Tessa’s tummy. “You don’t have even the tiniest baby bump yet, so there’s no way to predict how you’ll be carrying. And while I usually can’t pick up anything about the baby’s aura until at least the fourth month, I am feeling some distinctly feminine vibes already. So I would say the chances are quite high that you’re going to have a girl. Does that make you happy?”

  Tessa nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Though unlike Ian I’d be perfectly happy with either a boy or a girl. And since I hope to have at least three or four children, at some point I’m bound to have one or more of each gender.”

  “You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Tessa,” assured Sasha warmly. “Your baby is going to be a very lucky little girl. Or boy,” she added hastily. “I can’t say for certain yet that you’re having a girl. And I already know that Ian isn’t a believer in my vibes, as you call them. Like most men, he’s a skeptic about that sort of thing.”

  Tessa grinned. “But that’s why it will be so satisfying to prove that you were right all along! Maybe then he’ll be a believer.”

  “Perhaps. Now, will I see you again before you head off to Italy?”

  Tessa and Ian were departing within the next few days for a two week vacation at his family’s villa in Tuscany, a trip that was an annual tradition for the Gregsons.

  “We’re flying out on Friday afternoon,” confirmed Tessa. “So I’ll be here for your Wednesday morning class for sure, and maybe on Thursday evening as well. Julia’s coming on Wednesday, and wants to have breakfast afterwards if you’re available.”

  “I think so, yes. I’m pretty sure I don’t have a massage appointment until after noon that day.”

  Tessa gave her a hug good-bye, then had to dash off to a doctor’s appointment. Tessa had lingered after class for a few minutes to chat, and now the big studio was completely empty. Another class was due to start here in less than twenty minutes, so Sasha began to gather her belongings up.

  But as she went to pick up her bag, she froze at the sound of an achingly familiar voice coming from the doorway.

  “Uh, hello? The girl at the front desk said it would be okay for me to come in.”

  Sasha turned around slowly, not sure if she should feel annoyed, angry, or merely impassive at the sight of the only man she’d ever loved - and the only one who had thoroughly broken her heart - hovering uncertainly in the doorway.

  Even though it was a work day, Matthew was casually dressed in jeans and a white chambray shirt, the sleeves rolled up to expose his leanly muscled forearms. His face was lightly stubbled, but at least his hair had been neatly combed and slicked back. He looked tired but oddly serene at the same time, and he was smiling at her hopefully.

  Sasha crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him impassively. “Actually, there’s another class starting in here within the next few minutes so I was just about to leave.”

  “Oh.” Matthew glanced at the thick manila envelope he was holding. “Um, okay. Well, can I buy you a cup of coffee, then? I mean, tea. I know you don’t drink coffee, that was just a figure of speech.”

  “Matthew,” she rebuked. “You aren’t supposed to be here. You know that.”

  “Please.” He raised his eyes to hers, and she couldn’t help the little lurch her heart gave when she saw the desperation in his gaze. “I’ve got something to tell you, Sasha. Something really important. And I know I don’t have any right to ask, but can you please just hear me out for a few minutes? Please?”

  Sasha heaved a sigh. “Fine. But I have a client coming in for a massage in less than an hour, so coffee - rather, tea - is out. We can talk in the massage room for a few minutes.”

  Matthew didn’t argue, merely followed along willingly behind her as she headed in the direction of the massage rooms. Once inside, Sasha flicked on the lights and stored her bag as Matthew closed the door behind them.

  He was looking around the small room with a wistful expression on his face. “I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since the first time I set foot in this room,” he recalled. He glanced at the massage table longingly. “God, I could really use a massage right about now.”

  Sasha frowned. “Please tell me that you’ve been having regular massages since - well, since the last time I gave you one.”

  Matthew shook his head. “It wouldn’t have been the same,” he told her earnestly. “And it wouldn’t have felt right. Plus, the last thing I’ve had time for is looking out for myself.”

  “I can tell,” she admonished him. “You’ve lost weight, and I’m just guessing you haven’t been eating right.”

>   He shuddered. “You’d be revolted if I told you what my diet has been like as of late. But that isn’t why I’m here.”

  “I didn’t imagine that it was,” replied Sasha calmly. “So you’d best tell me then, hadn’t you?”

  “Yeah.” Matthew fumbled with the metal clasp of the manila envelope he’d been carrying around. He drew out a thick packet of papers and held them out to her. “This is why I’m here. I wanted to show you this in person.”

  Reluctantly, Sasha took the papers from him, refusing to meet his eyes. Just being this close to him brought back all of the emotions she’d been trying so hard to repress these last few months - not just the hurt and anger she had felt when he’d gone back to his family, but all of the good memories, too. She missed being with him, missed talking to him about how his day had been, or gently lecturing him about taking his vitamins or making sure he got enough sleep. And she really, really missed falling asleep in his arms after he’d made love to her so tenderly that it had brought tears to her eyes. Being near him this way, close enough to smell the soap he’d used to shower with this morning, brought all of those emotions surging to the surface until they threatened to overwhelm her. She took a deep, calming breath before glancing at the papers, which looked to her inexperienced eyes to be some sort of legal document.

  “I don’t understand. What exactly is this? Am I supposed to read all of these pages or something?” she asked half-jokingly.

  “No.” Matthew shook his head. “Just the first and last ones will suffice.”

  Sasha looked at the top sheet more carefully this time, and three words jumped out at her - “Decree of Divorce”. Slowly, not permitting herself to get her hopes up, she flipped to the last page as Matthew had instructed.

  There were two signatures there, both notarized and dated a few days ago. She recognized Matthew’s bold, almost indecipherable scrawl, and then gave a soft gasp when she realized the second signature was Lindsey’s.

  “I just picked the papers up from my attorney a little while ago,” Matthew told her somberly. “Lindsey finally gave in and signed them late last week. After some extra added persuasion, that is.”

  Sasha’s hand was trembling a little, and she quickly handed the document back to him before it fell. “What - what sort of persuasion?” she asked faintly.

  Matthew gave a wry grin. “The sort Lindsey understands best - the financial kind. I changed the terms of the divorce settlement after certain, ah, developments occurred. She stood to lose a hundred thousand dollars for each day that she refused to sign. And when she realized I was dead serious on the matter, she caved. The divorce will be final in about six weeks.”

  She wrapped her arms over her torso, suddenly feeling chilled despite the warmth of the massage room. “What about Hayley?” she murmured. “I thought the whole reason for you moving back to Hillsborough was to help her get through her pregnancy.”

  He snorted. “What pregnancy? Those developments I just mentioned? Turns out that Lindsey and Hayley concocted this very elaborate web of lies about the date rape and the pregnancy, even about how Hayley was acting out and being rebellious. A web of lies very carefully woven with the intent of trapping me inside of it. Lindsey was so desperate to get me back, to reclaim her place as Mrs. Matthew Bennett, that she had the nerve to coerce Hayley into going along with her warped plans.”

  Sasha stared at him in horror. “She lied to you about everything?” she whispered. “My God, Matthew. I knew Hayley could be, well, difficult, but I never thought she could be that cruel to her own father. I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how much that sort of betrayal hurt you.”

  Matthew nodded. “Yeah, it sucked big time. Doing something so twisted is vintage Lindsey, so it didn’t surprise me to learn she was the mastermind behind everything. But to learn my own daughter was a willing participant in ruining my life - well, like I told Hayley, it’s going to take me some time to forgive her. Even if she was strong-armed into cooperating.”

  “I had this feeling - no, never mind.” She shook her head. “It’s not my place to say anything, especially since I can tell you already feel awful about this.”

  He placed a hand on her forearm. “No, please. Tell me. I know you well enough to realize that your feelings and premonitions are usually always right. What were you about to say?”

  Sasha couldn’t resist touching him a second longer, feeling an overwhelming rush of empathy for what he had endured at learning his own child had betrayed him. She placed her hand over his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “I couldn’t help but be a little suspicious of Hayley’s story. I never said anything to you at the time, didn’t want to sound like I was bitter or resentful. But, well, something just felt off about the whole thing. If for no other reason Hayley didn’t seem like the sort of person who would ever consider going through with a pregnancy under such circumstances. She’s a bit too much on the self-centered side for that. But it wasn’t my business, and I figured that you knew your daughter far better than I did.”

  Matthew snorted. “I thought I did,” he muttered. “But it seems like I didn’t know her at all. And I’ll admit to having plenty of my own doubts about her, especially as the weeks went on and she acted like nothing had ever happened. I guess I just didn’t want to face up to the possibility that my own child - the little girl who used to idolize me and follow me everywhere - could do something so despicable. It isn’t a very good feeling to realize how wrong you were about someone.”

  He looked so sad, sounded so dispirited, that the instinct to offer him comfort took over. She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest, and whispered simply, “I’m sorry.”

  Matthew’s arms tightened around her like a vise, squeezing her so tight she had to gasp for breath until he loosened his hold a bit. He buried his face against the side of her neck, not speaking, but she could feel the desperation in his embrace, sense the loneliness and sorrow he’d been feeling, and she willingly, silently, offered him the comfort he so badly needed.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he rasped in her ear. “So damned much, Sasha. Not one day has gone by that I didn’t regret what I’d done, that I didn’t wish I was back with you. I haven’t had one truly happy day since the last time we were together, and I’d more or less given up on ever being happy again. But I knew I couldn’t come back to you, couldn’t try to win you back, until I was finally free of Lindsey. And now I can truthfully say that I’m a free man. And that I’m bound and determined to get you back, no matter what I have to do. Please, please tell me that it’s not too late.”

  “Matthew.” She eased herself away from him, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden by his nearness and his passionate declaration. “I - I can’t tell you something like that right now. I mean, you’ve taken me by complete surprise here, and this is the very last thing I expected to hear today. You need to give me some time to absorb all of it, to think everything out. These last few months have been awful for me, too, you know. And while it’s good news that your divorce is finally going to happen, at the same time you can’t just expect me to forget everything you’ve put me through. I need some space to deal with this, to think it over. And to decide if being with you is really what’s best for me.”

  Matthew cupped her cheek in his hand, his gaze both shocked and pleading. “Sasha, you don’t mean that. Look, I didn’t expect that you’d just welcome me with open arms. I know how much I hurt you, how much I put you through even before I moved back to Hillsborough. But don’t shut me out, please? Give me a chance to make it all up to you, to show you how much you mean to me. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, never felt like I belonged with someone like I do with you. And I always thought you felt the same way.”

  “I did. I do,” she corrected. “And it’s not my feelings for you that are the issue now. And what’s happened these past few months isn’t even my main concern. I’m - well, frankly, I’m just not sure that I’m cut out for a long-t
erm relationship. With anyone. You and I never really had the opportunity to discuss what happened to me back in high school, considering that I sort of sprung the news on you as I was walking out of the condo.”

  “You’re right. We didn’t,” he agreed somberly. “And while I understand how traumatic that must have been, you should have told me long before that day. I thought we were closer than that, Sasha. I for one feel closer to you than I have to anyone else in my life. I suppose it isn’t the same for you, though.”

  “It’s not that,” she was quick to assure him. “And I did wind up telling you eventually. You know something about me that only one other person in the world knows, something not even my parents know. I’d say that speaks volumes about the extent of my trust in you, Matthew. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before that day, but talking about what happened - about Riley - just wasn’t something I did. I tried so hard for so many years to just forget what had happened, to suppress the bad memories, that even for you I couldn’t bear to dredge them up again. I don’t expect you to understand, but I also never intentionally tried to hide the truth, either.”

  “I get that,” replied Matthew gently. “But I’m not sure where you’re going with this, Sasha. You were telling me that you didn’t think a long-term relationship was your thing. Are you trying to say that what that fucktard Riley did to you has messed you up in some way?”

  “Maybe,” she whispered uncertainly. “What he did certainly made it hard for me to trust anyone. He betrayed my trust in the worst possible way, stole my innocence, and made it all but impossible for me to feel comfortable in a relationship for very long. But it’s more than that, Matthew. I mean, look at my life, the way I was raised. My parents would flit in and out of each other’s lives several times a year, never staying faithful to the other for very long. It’s not like I’ve had a great example to follow, you know. Or had the chance to see what a committed, meaningful relationship is supposed to look like. Maybe I’m destined to be like the two of them - never settling down, never making a permanent commitment to someone. I’m not sure I’d be very good at it. And after what you’ve gone through with Lindsey these past years, you deserve someone who can give you that sort of promise and devotion. I just don’t know if that person is me.”