The Alter Ego_A Regency Romps Story

by Elizabeth Bramwell

  “You know his family, then?” said Anna, hoping she didn’t sound too presumptuous. “Miss Lindon said you knew his cousin? Lord Arthur?”

  Mrs Drake gave a short laugh. She turned to say something, but as her eyes fell onto Anna, she seemed to recollect herself and shook her head. “The resemblance is uncanny, I have to admit – although Lord Arthur is a Pink of the Ton, and would never shear his hair in such a way!”

  “His hair?” said Anna, thinking back to the first time she had met Arthur, and been entranced by his glorious locks.

  “Yes, he has the most foppish hair imaginable, and is quite the envy of London because of it! Thick curls that never look tame, although I suspect he spends hours achieving the look. I parodied him a little in the novel, although every man of fashion naturally claimed he was the model for the character, of course.”

  “Sir Henry Winchester,” said Anna without blinking. Mrs Drake looked delighted.

  “Yes! I am thinking of including him as the main character in my next book, although naturally, I will seek permission first.”

  Anna smiled, but it felt tight. “I cannot wait to read it, Mrs Drake.”

  Her companion reached over and grabbed her hand.

  “Please call me Trix; everyone of importance does, and if my father-in-law likes you well enough to give you a discount at the Library, then I know I shall like you very much as well. There are so few people my age in Bath!”

  Anna, who suspected Mrs Drake was several years her junior, smiled at the earnest appeal for friendship. “Very well, Trix. And you may call me Anna.”

  “Capital! Now I must leave you, my dear – it appears that General Mortimer has cornered Felix, and will no doubt be trying to convince my husband that his memoirs will be all the rage if published. Please excuse me, I must intervene!”

  Anna couldn’t help but laugh as her new friend practically charged across the room, although having listened to several of the General’s slightly risqué stories of his youth, she personally thought his memoirs would be an amusing, if slightly vulgar, read.

  She took a moment alone to study Lily, who was happily dancing down the room with Arthur, both of them laughing alongside the rest of the couples. She was a mediocre dancer at best thanks to her mother’s revulsion at the idea of her hand being touched by a man who was not her husband, and the caper-master hired by her late husband had never been able to turn her into anything resembling graceful.

  Anna’s smile dissolved as she watched Arthur dance alongside Lily. He moved with the ease of someone long used to dancing in public, successfully executing even the most difficult steps in a way that made the other gentlemen look like bumblers. His grace was so at odds with his appearance that she blinked several times, trying to reconcile everything she knew of him with all the little doubts building up in her mind.

  “May I join you, Mrs Clyde?”

  She glanced up to see the face of Captain Rowlands. “Of course, please do.”

  He took the seat beside her, stretching out his long legs with a happy sigh.

  “I have done my duty and danced once with Charlotte, so I am not at liberty to enjoy my evening,” he said, nodding toward his wife as she danced about with a military gentleman that Anna did not know.

  “Do you not like to dance, then?”

  “On the contrary, I love to dance – but not with young girls who giggle constantly,” he said with a delicate shudder. “The joy of being a married man is that I am not expected to do the pretty as often. The joy of living in Bath is that there are so few young ladies that I can generally escape such a duty. I would far rather spend my evenings conversing with sensible adults, such as yourself, or Mr Drake.”

  It was on the tip of Anna’s tongue to state that it must be a relief to have a sensible conversation, but she immediately censured herself for having such a cruel thought about Charlotte Rowlands, who had never been anything but kind to her.

  “I am afraid that I am not very learned,” she settled on saying, “but I hope I can be considered sensible.”

  Captain Rowlands laughed. “You remind me of my friend, Abigail. She spends most of her time in London these days, but I must introduce you should she ever come to Bath.”

  “Do you know London well, Captain?”

  He shrugged. “I spent a Season there, and we visit occasionally, but Charlotte was never comfortable in High Society, and is much happier in Bath, as am I. However I’m not without friends in the City.”

  Anna watched the dancers in silence for a long moment.

  “Did you know Lord Arthur?” she asked, her stomach flipping over several times.

  The Captain just chuckled. “The Prince of the Tulips? Sadly no, for the Military Set are not a natural fit for the dandies. I met him passing a few times, but that’s it.”

  “Mr Arthur is his cousin, I believe,” she said, careful not to look anywhere but at the wall.

  “Yes, Lady Seraphinia told us when Charlotte mistook him for the Duke’s brother,” laughed the Captain. “Bless my wife’s heart, but she is not the best when it comes to names and titles. It doesn’t help that the noble families all name their children after each other, either! I mean, look at our daughter, named after her grandmother!”

  Anna felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. “Yes, yes of course. And everyone is related to each other as well!”

  The Captain grinned. “I told Abigail’s husband that they all needed to carry their family trees in future, so we would know who it was safe to disparage them to. He was not keen on the idea, but Abby thought it a capital suggestion!”

  “I agree,” said Anna, her smile feeling genuine for the first time that evening. “I find myself feeling overwhelmed in Bath with so many people, and I wonder how I will cope in London for Lily’s first season.”

  The Captain patted her hand. “Tell you what, I’ll write to Abby and see if she and her friends will smooth your way into Society, how does that sound? They’re a capital bunch of women, and would love nothing better than to play meddling matchmakers.”

  “How kind of you, Captain,” said Anna, bowled over by his generosity. “You don’t have to go to any trouble on my account.”

  “Writing a single letter to my dear friend is no trouble at all,” he replied. “Just don’t play cards with Abby. Or go to a balloon ascension with her.”

  “I promise,” said Anna, unsure why the Captain was chuckling to himself. There was no opportunity to ask, however, for General Mortimer chose that moment to interrupt them.

  “Captain, Mrs Clyde, Phinnie demands your presence to make up four for Whist.”

  “We are summoned,” said the Captain dramatically as he pushed himself out of his chair.

  The General offered Anna his arm. “Shall we, Mrs Clyde? Unless you would rather run away to Gretna with me, and scandalise the Ton?”

  “What would you do if I actually took you up on that offer, Sir?” said Anna, cocking her head to one side as though considering the matter.

  The General sighed and patted her hand. “I would naturally stay true to my word, my dear Mrs Clyde, but you would spend the rest of your days knowing they my heart truly belonged to another.”

  “In which case, I decline your kind offer and would rather play cards,” she replied with a smile. “Although I rather suspect the whole world plays second fiddle to Lady Seraphinia anyway.”

  “Capital woman, Phinnie,” said the General with a wide smile, “but even that is not enough for me to allow her to fleece me at cards. Shall we play to win, my dear?”

  Anna laughed, pushing all thoughts of Arthur, Lily, and London society to the back of her mind.

  “Is there any other way to play?” she asked and took her seat at the table.

  Chapter Nine

  Anna was admiring her new bonnet when the commotion outside her hotel room finally reached her ears. A combination of angry yapping, raised voices, and thudding feet were enough to let her know that whatever was coming her way would not b
e a pleasant encounter.

  The door to the room flung open as Lily barged in, the hotel manager on her heels and Governess tight in her arms.

  “Anna, please tell this insolent man that Governess has an impeccable lineage, and he had no right to imply she is of questionable parentage!”

  “And I take leave to inform you, Mrs Clyde, that your pet has pushed the staff at this establish too far, and we will not stand for it!” announced the manager.

  Anna put a hand on the back of the chair to steady herself. “Oh dear. What has happened?”

  As they both began talking loudly at once, and Governess decided to yap along with them, Anna closed her eyes and counted to five before re-engaging.

  “Enough! Lily, silence that dog of yours and then allow the gentleman to speak! I simply cannot understand you when everyone is shouting at once!”

  The hotel manager looked almost smug as he cast a glance over at Lily. “Mrs Clyde, I am afraid that we can no longer support your continued stay in this establishment if you insist on keeping That Animal with you. I warned Miss Clyde most clearly that should the pug upset our guests or staff at the breakfast table again, then we would have no option but to ask you to find lodgings elsewhere.”

  Anna blinked.

  “Again?” she said, looking at Lily, whose face had gone bright red as she turned all her attention toward Governess.

  “Indeed, madam,” said the manager with a decided sniff. “That Animal’s attempt to steal bacon yesterday caused one of our waiters to trip and spill coffee over one of our guests. Before that, my staff have often had to forcibly remove it from the kitchens, where it has distracted the maids, knocked over a pitcher of fresh milk, and stolen several biscuits. The propensity of some of our female guests and staff to coo over the Wretched Creature has only emboldened it, and I have received two complaints of it begging for scraps at the table.”

  “Lily, I thought I ordered you to keep Governess on a lead?” said Anna, feeling a headache coming on. “Did you learn nothing after she stole that lady’s reticule?”

  “She isn’t happy tied up,” said Lily, sticking out her bottom lip. “And she isn’t hurting anyone, no matter what this horrid man says. Everyone loves her.”

  “My guests do not love having That Animal slobber over their French delicacies!” snapped the manager.

  “I am so sorry about this,” said Anna, giving him the most sympathetic smile she could bring herself to muster. “It must be so much work to keep this hotel running smoothly, and I am well aware that not everyone holds Governess in the same affection as we do.”

  “Indeed so, madam,” said the manager, casting a dark look at the little pug. “However I warned Miss Clyde that any further incident would not be tolerated at this establishment.”

  “I never thought you were serious,” snapped Lily.

  “Lillia Emily Clyde, hold your tongue,” said Anna with enough force to make her stepdaughter quake. She stepped toward the manager, trying her best to be conciliatory. “As you can no doubt tell, this information was not conveyed to me before now, or else I would have ensured that Governess was more effectively restrained. Please, is there no way around this?”

  The manager scrunched up his face, but one glance at the Pug seemed to strengthen his resolve. “No, I am afraid that I cannot allow This Creature to further impact the smooth running of my hotel, Mrs Clyde. You, of course, are welcome to stay with us in future – but not That Animal!”

  Lily made a rude noise. “As if we would want to stay somewhere so fusty ever again.”

  “Lily, that is enough,” snapped Anna. Lily looked as though she might cry. Governess whimpered.

  “Please,” Anna said to the manager. “As it happens, I am viewing a property this very morning, and I am confident that we will be relocating there in a day or two. Will you allow me that much time to secure my lodging?”

  This time the manager seemed open to her appeal, despite his initial hesitation.

  “So long as That Animal is not allowed to roam the halls, then I will consent to honour your rooms with us until the end of the week, Mrs Clyde.”

  She gave him her most winning smile. “Thank you so much; I knew you were a fair and decent man the moment I laid eyes upon you.”

  The manager straightened up, even lifting his chin a little higher. “Well. Thank you, Mrs Clyde. I would not like to be unfeeling in this matter, or to have you think that I am unaware of the weight upon your young shoulders, what with the responsibilities you struggle to carry.”

  A sharp look at Lily was all Anna needed to do to warn her stepdaughter to remain silent.

  “Indeed. I shall make arrangements right now,” said Anna, and the manager accepted the dismissal with nothing more than a glare at the pug.

  “Of all the nerve, saying such a thing to you!” said Lily the moment he closed the door behind him.

  “Don’t you even dare to say a word to me, Lily,” said Anna, holding up a hand in warning. “I know I’m not many years your senior, but the least you could have done is follow my direction in this matter!”

  Lily bit her lip and looked sheepish.

  “Oh dear, I really did make a hash of this, didn’t I? Please forgive me, darling! That man has exaggerated what happened, I promise – well, not the bit about the pitcher or milk. Or the biscuits. But I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to concern yourself with it!”

  “Well it’s my concern now!” said Anna, not sure whether she wanted to laugh, or just throttle Lily.

  “But it will all work out for the best,” said her irrepressible stepdaughter with a hopeful smile. “The property owned by Mr Arthur’s cousin sounds perfect.”

  “And what if it is damp? Or is not ready for us?” said Anna, rubbing at her temples. “Oh please go away you abominable girl before I shake you! Get your walking dress on, and fetch your pug’s basket. We will not be leaving Governess here for a moment.”

  “You aren’t sending her away, are you?” said Lily with real alarm. “I meant it, Anna, I am so very sorry for everything, but I promise you that-”

  “No, Lily, I’m not sending her away, but we are going to need some help with her while we move.”

  “Who do you have in mind?” asked Lily, cuddling Governess tight. “She is picky about people other than me, you know.”

  Anna tried to smile, but it felt like a grimace. “You have left me with little choice in the matter. Now go!”

  *

  Decades of ruling the Ton gave Lady Seraphinia the skills she needed to maintain a straight face as the most ridiculous story she’d heard in years was related to her. Jane, on the other hand, could not keep her composure and was freely laughing.

  “It wasn’t so funny at the time,” said Mrs Clyde, although her lip was twitching. “I have never been so mortified in all my life.”

  “I’ve explained that it wasn’t as bad as that horrid man claimed,” said Lily, her frown so deep she risked leaving permanent furrows in her brow. “As if anyone could be angry at Governess when she is only trying to make friends.”

  Mrs Clyde raised her eyes to the heavens, and Seraphinia found herself smiling. Although she could agree that the young woman was a preferable guardian to Lily than any of Matthew Clyde’s blood relatives, she suspected that the poor girl was having a hard time of it.

  “It may come as a surprise to you, my girl, but not everyone loves pugs,” she said, moderating her tone so that it was less of a put-down, and more of a suggestion.

  “I’m not sure that I would care for their opinion, then,” said Lily, snuggling her dog tightly.

  “Then it is a good thing you do not wish to be a success in either Bath or London,” said Seraphinia, making sure that she sounded as approving as possible. “It is refreshing to meet a young girl who does not care for such fripperies as vouchers for Almacks.”

  That caught the girl’s attention. “Almacks?”

  “I am aware that the women who consider themselves the lead
ers of the Ton have made vouchers to their little club indispensable to any girl hoping to cut a dash through Society, but I applaud you for not caring a rush for such things. After all, parties and balls and whatever passes for entertainment these days is nothing of substance when compared to quiet evenings at home with your beautiful Pug.”

  “Yes, exactly,” said Lily, sounding anything but convinced. She was not hugging her dog quite so tightly.

  “And – forgive an old woman for being vulgar and mentioning fortune – but you have no need to marry for money, as I understand it. Perhaps you will choose a quiet life here in Bath with your stepmother, in much the way that Jane and I live.”

  Seraphinia would have been offended at the look of horror on the poor child’s face if she had intended any other result. Anna, she noticed, was staring determinedly at the fireplace as she tried not to laugh.

  “Are pugs really not fashionable?” asked Lily, real worry spilling out from her.

  Seraphinia took pity.

  “They are eminently fashionable in the right situations, my dear girl. Causing a scene or bringing attention to themselves for anything other than being adorable, however, would undoubtedly draw the ire of the Almack’s patronesses. Yes, they are stuffy, and yes, their rules are ridiculous, especially to eyes as old as mine, but that is the way that it is.”

  “I see,” said Lily quietly. “Perhaps… perhaps I do need to spoil Governess less than I do.”

  “There is nothing wrong with that dog that some training will not fix,” said Seraphinia.

  “Without much time to train her before she stays with you a few days, Lady Seraphinia, I am concerned that she will terrorise your staff within hours of us leaving,” said Anna, looking at the pug with concern.

  “Then I will begin with her immediately, and we can continue once you have found your new lodging.”

  Both the Clyde girls gave broad smiles.

  “You are most gracious,” said Anna.

  “I knew we could count on you,” said Lily.

  “Will Governess be staying in your room, Aunt?” asked Jane, her face the picture of innocence.