Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2)

by Dani Matthews

  “Why?”

  “I thought I'd look better...”

  “Fuck that. Keep the damn freckles. I see them covered again, and that's going to be a serious issue between us,” he warns before he turns and opens the door.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Faith

  The next day is pure torture as the minutes slowly tick by. At least while I'd been working I'd had a distraction. Now that I'm home with nothing to do, I find myself wandering the apartment, anxious for it to be ten so that I can see Ace again.

  A slow smile spreads across my face as I sit down on the floor to play with Daisy while I wait. Yesterday, I'd been miserably uncertain as to whether or not Ace and I had a chance for something real. Now today, I'm excited and full of anticipation. I know where Ace's head is at—finally! He wants what I do. I know that doesn't necessarily mean that it'll work out, but the fact that he's willing to try has me feeling optimistic. As long as Ace is willing to be honest with me and willing to commit to me without having any other women in his life, then I think we're off to a good start. The rest will fall in place.

  Now what I need to do is get my insecurities in check. I have to find a way to accept the fact that all the women he's been with are now his past. I need to find a way to stop comparing myself to them.

  As I use the long stick to trail a toy mouse in front of Daisy, I sober up a little bit. I am optimistic, but I'm aware that the road we're taking won't be easy. It sounds like I'll be the first committed relationship he's ever had, which means there's bound to be mistakes and some miscommunication at times. It's inevitable.

  Then there's my past experience with relationships. Mine isn't so great. I've been in one relationship, and I'd been controlled daily by what he’d wanted. I can't let that happen with Ace. It's going to be imperative that I always speak my mind and say 'no' when I want. Ace has made it very clear that he wants me to be independent. If he even gets wind of the possibility that I'm converting myself into what I think he wants—rather than being myself—we're going to have major problems. I need to keep in mind that it's okay to argue with him if we have a disagreement. He's not going to insult me or be cruel to me. Sure, he'll be mad, but he won't make it worse by doing or saying the things that Justin had.

  These are all things I've thought long and hard about today. Ace made it clear last night that he wants to make sure we're on the same page with everything. This tells me that he's thought things out and has an idea of how he'd like things to progress. I think it’s important I think about these things, too. When we talk tonight, we'll understand each other better. I'm also hoping the night will end on a happy note. A very happy note. I think we've put off the inevitable long enough. Tonight, I want to be with Ace.

  I play with Daisy for a little bit longer and then glance at my watch. It's ten-forty-five. I'd completely zoned out while playing with Daisy and sorting out my thoughts. I glance in the direction of the island counter where my phone is at, and I know Ace hasn't text messaged me or I would have heard it. I sure hope he's just running behind and not changing his mind about wanting to talk tonight.

  Daisy gets bored playing by herself and climbs up on my lap to be petted. I smile down at her and give her what she wants. I love having her around. Sure, she stinks up the bathroom in the mornings when I shower, because evidently her digestive system is on a routine. The second I hop in the shower is when Daisy decides it's time to use the litter box. There's also the fact that she's shredded my poor comforter to death, but I still keep it on the bed because she loves racing across it. I've also replaced the shower curtain in the bathroom. Oh, and she chewed up one of my flip-flops the other day while I was at work. The little twerp dragged it into the bathroom during a time that I hadn't been paying attention to her. She's a little rascal, but I wouldn't change a thing.

  My phone chimes in the silence of the living room, and my mood immediately brightens. I carefully set Daisy on the carpet and rise to my feet to get my phone. I quickly read Ace's text. Running late and just hopping in the shower. Door is unlocked if you just want to swing over and wait. Of course, my reply back is, I'll be right over.

  I put Daisy in the bathroom, double checking first that she has water in her bowl before I leave. Ace's door is indeed unlocked, and I walk right in. The apartment is quiet, and I can hear the shower running in the bathroom. I walk over and settle on the couch closest to the hallway as I wait. I study the game cartridges for a bit as I wonder what Ace does in his spare time when he's not at class or with me. He doesn't seem like the type to stay inside and hole up with video games. As the question crosses my mind, I realize we have a lot to learn yet about one another.

  The shower turns off in the bathroom, and I sit patiently as I wait. When the bathroom door opens, I glance up and see Ace enter the hallway with just a towel wrapped around his hips. He immediately glances in the direction of the living room, and I watch as his expression brightens when he sees me. He walks to the end of the hall near the living room doorway and pauses as he gazes at me. “I just have to put something on. I was thinking we could hit a late movie, then the beach to talk if you don't think it'd be too late for you. I forgot to ask if you work tomorrow.”

  As he'd began speaking, my eyes had slowly began to drift. I'm female after all. When a sexy man stands there with just a towel around his hips, a woman is going to feast her eyes on all that naked flesh. He'd evidently dried off quickly, and I can still see little droplets of water scattered across his tan, well-defined chest. I usually focus all my attention on his piercings when he's shirtless, but tonight, I take time out to study his stomach. It's ripped. Definitely a six pack. My eyes lower to where the towel is knotted low on his hips. I see a growing bulge behind it, and my heart begins to pound.

  Ace clears his throat. “Or we can stay in...”

  At the sound of his low, deliberate tone, I know what he's thinking. My eyes lift to meet his. I really, really want this. I slowly nod. “I'd rather stay in.”

  His eyes darken as they roam over me almost hungrily. He holds out a hand, his expression intense as he waits to see if I'll go to him.

  I slowly rise to my feet and walk towards him. I hadn't dressed for seduction, and now I'm wishing I would have. I'd rather be wearing something sexy than just a pair of jean shorts and a tee. My hand slides against his, and his fingers immediately tighten around mine. He gives me a slow, sexy smile and turns to lead me down the hall.

  I trail behind him, eyes dropping to where I can make out the outline of his butt as he walks. I can't help but wonder if he'd ever let me simply explore him. I'd love to take my time learning every sculpted curve of his body.

  A light turns on over Ace's shoulder. Before I can peer around him to sneak a peek at his room, he's turning around and pulling me flush up against his body, his lips claiming mine in hungry kiss. I'm immediately lost in the sensation of his wicked tongue skillfully seducing mine. My hands lift to rest on his damp, bare shoulders as his hands slide down to cup my rear end. He presses his towel covered erection against my belly, and I moan helplessly into his mouth as I feel myself go damp between my legs.

  Ace begins to walk backwards, tugging me with him. He ends the kiss briefly, his gray eyes heavy with sexual intent as he runs his hands up to my waist, then he physically lifts me up while I clutch his shoulders. He turns and gently lays me down on his bed, and I can't resist looking around curiously. When I see that I'm lying on a huge, four poster bed that dominates most of the space in his room, my heart suddenly skips a beat. I've been dying to be with him, but now that the moment is here...I feel doubt trickling through my desire.

  Ace's lips claim mine as he settles himself beside me, his weight braced on one arm next to my head. I'm immediately distracted as his tongue coils around my own, and that slight hint of doubt fades as I angle my lips against his so that I can kiss him back. One of his hands settles on my stomach, inching underneath my shirt. I make a sound against his lips, definitely ready for what he has planne
d for tonight. As my hand reaches for his waist to run over his hip, I feel his body tense up slightly. As he's kissing me, I realize his body isn't as relaxed as it had been the night on the couch. He seems tense now. His lips are still devouring mine, but his hand hasn't crept up to my breasts like it'd been about to.

  This feels wrong somehow when I know being intimate with him should feel right. Everything has always been so natural between us, like we were meant to be together. But right now...it just isn't feeling like this should be happening.

  At least not tonight.

  The four thick bedposts flash in my mind, and then I envision just how many women have been restrained in this bed. Restrained... Oh my God. I hadn't considered... I'd thought of everything but the reality of the way he likes to have sex. Is he going to do that to me? A small part of me is excited at the thought while the rest of me is scared. I don't want it to be like that our first time. I want to be with him, but not like this. Not in a bed that's seen more women than I care to ask about. Going by his reputation, his room has a revolving door.

  “Faith?” Ace asks with concern.

  I realize he's stopped kissing me, and he's leaning over me, his gray eyes searching mine. I blink and focus on him. How do I tell him that none of this feels right?

  Ace reaches out and touches my cheek tenderly. “Talk to me. One minute you're with me, then the next you're somewhere else.”

  It's a struggle to sort out my thoughts now that I suddenly have so many of them. I avert my eyes, and they settle on one of the bed posts that points up to the ceiling. It just reinforces my earlier thoughts. I can't do it. Not like this. “I think we're rushing things!” I blurt out as I struggle to sit up.

  Ace moves back to give me space, and he runs a hand through his still damp hair as his eyes roam over my face carefully. He's silent for a minute before he speaks. “We'll go as slow as you want,” he assures firmly. “If this is too fast, we'll slow it down. What I really want to know is what put that odd expression on your face when we quit kissing. You looked confused and almost hurt. Did I do something to trigger a bad memory?”

  I can't help but look away again as I struggle with this sudden turn of events. I don't want to admit to him that I'm a little scared. Nor do I want to start our relationship acting jealous over all the women he's been with. And how do I address the situation of his preference for restraints? It's a part of him. I knew that, but I hadn't taken into consideration that it would affect me. I'd spent the day thinking about so many things, but being tied down hadn't been one of them.

  I don't know what to say, and I'm worried I'm going to say something that will ruin this evening.

  Chapter Twenty

  Ace

  I'm confused as hell about what just went down, and I wait for Faith to clue me in. The sexual tension between us has always been intense, and she'd been more than ready to go. I'd seen it in her eyes. She'd wanted me inside her just as much as I wanted it. Things changed when I got her on the bed. Had it become too much of a reality and she'd gotten scared? Were we moving too fast? I know she's not a virgin, but maybe she needs more of a build up to actual sex? Maybe makeout for a few more weeks before we take it to the bedroom?

  She seems to be trying to sort out her thoughts, so I patiently gaze around my room and try to put myself in Faith's shoes. I swear everything was good up until I settled her on the bed. I remember her looking around briefly, and she'd gotten an odd look on her face, but I'd been too focused on kissing her to really think about it. Had something in my room set her off? Or had she noticed how tense I was and it had rubbed off on her?

  Had she sensed my uncertainty over the fact that I've never had regular sex on a bed before, at least not since that fucking camp. Faith will be the first woman that I haven't restrained or maneuvered into a position where her hands aren't free. Since I planned for her hands to be unrestrained, I've also been worrying over how I'll react if she touches my dick. I have issues with that kind of stuff, but I trust Faith. I want to feel those small, soft hands of her stroking me. But wanting and actually feeling it are two completely different things. Is that how she'd felt tonight? She'd wanted me, but had knowing it was actually going to happen scare her in some way? Had she thought I was going to do something that she wasn't going to like?

  Son of a bitch!

  It hits me like a punch to the gut. I'm such a tool. I have a reputation for tying women to my bed, but I didn't think to warn Faith that I had no intention of restraining her. She'd gone into tonight blind, not quite sure what to expect, and I'm betting her ex never did any of the shit I do. When it comes to sex, the guy sounds like a selfish prick who had only cared about himself. I doubt he ever did anything other than missionary. I need to ask Faith though, because if dickhead ever did attempt anything with restraints, Faith might be frightened of it if he did her wrong.

  I quickly remind myself that I will never restrain her anyway, no matter how much that fantasy haunts me at night. I won't let my darkness touch Faith. I'll dirty her up, but not with that kind of kink. There's plenty of other ways to spice up regular sex.

  My thoughts shift as I realize I do need to find out if her ex has ever done something to make her fear anything sexually. Now probably isn't the time to ask. I'll keep that question in mind for the next time I can throw it out there without making the conversation awkward.

  I glance at Faith to find that she's studying me intently, probably watching the emotions that are flickering over my own face. I feel everything soften inside me as I gaze back at her. She's beautiful inside and out, and she's special. I will never treat her like I've treated the rest of the women that have seen my bed. Faith will get the part of me that no one else has, and that means the restraints can't happen. She's not going to be just another fuck. She's more.

  It also dawns on me that I truly am a dickwad. Has Faith wondered how many women have lain in this bed? Women analyze the shit out of everything. Now that I'm trying to see things from her point of view, I'm betting the thought has crossed her mind tonight. Knowing Faith, probably more than once.

  “Ace?” she asks tentatively.

  I shake my head and give her an apologetic look. “We should have talked first, but the look in your eyes earlier had me thinking with my dick instead of my brain. That seems to happen a lot these days, don't it?”

  Her lip quirks up slightly in the corner, and it eases the tension on her face. “Everything I wanted to talk about tonight kind of flew out of my head when you came out in that towel,” she confesses.

  “I think it's safe to say we both want each other. Pretty damned bad.”

  She nods, but then her eyes drop to her hands, a clear sign that she's nervous again.

  I lean forward and touch her cheek, needing to see those pretty eyes of hers. When she looks at me, I give her an assuring look and stroke her smooth cheek with my thumb. “I wasn't going to restrain you, and I should have told you that.”

  Her eyes search mine with an innocence that tugs at my heart. “You weren't?”

  “No, Angel. I don't want that with you.”

  Confusion flickers across her features, and she pulls back, causing my hand to drop. “You're distracting me,” she explains in reference to my hand. I watch her pink lips purse tightly for a minute before she asks, “But you do that to all the girls you sleep with, right?”

  Fuck. How do I explain this shit without telling her about what went down years ago? I don't want her to know what a pussy I'd been. No guy wants to share his weakness with his girl. I clear my throat and rub my jaw as I try to navigate this conversation without giving too much away. “I do, yes. But you're different,” I tell her. “I have my reasons for liking restraints, but I don't want you that way. I want you free to be who you are, to react instinctively when I touch you.”

  She still looks confused. “Is this because of my past? Is that why you want to treat me differently?”

  This is not going well. Not at all. “Can I ask you something?” I ask,
reaching for her hand. I need to be touching her in some small way. I'm worried we might be getting into a conversation that could possibly scare her off, but I've decided I have to ask. I rub my thumb against her small palm, trying to soothe her so we can get all our shit out in the open so we can move on.

  Her eyes meet mine and she nods.

  “Did Justin ever tie you up?” I ask carefully.

  Those big, blue eyes of her widen to saucers. “Did he...?” A blush creeps across her cheeks. “No. We never got that creative. It was just regular sex.”

  “He never pinned you down?” I ask, needing clarification.

  She shakes her head.

  Relief shoots through my gut, but I still persist. “Did he ever do anything you didn't want to do, even though you told him not to?”

  Realization dawns on her face, and her hand tightens around mine. “I have no bad memories where sex is concerned,” she assures. Her nose wrinkles in the cutest way as she admits, “It was kind of boring compared to what I've experienced with you so far.”

  I can't help but grin. “You haven't experienced anything yet.” Heat flashes in her eyes, and she wets her lower lip, her eyes automatically flashing to my piercings. The fact that she finds piercings fascinating makes me almost want to get my dick pierced. Almost. First, I have issues with people touching it, so it'll probably never happen. Second, even if I didn't have my issues, I don't think I could handle the whole having another man up in my junk with a big ass needle. As I look at Faith's flushed face and see the desire in her eyes, I know that when we eventually get around to having sex—it's going to be off the charts.

  “So, you didn't want to tie me up because you thought it might trigger something?” she asks me, drawing my thoughts back to the conversation at hand.

  Her eyes are full of questions that I don't really want to answer. My eyes narrow on her, and I toss the question right back at her. “Did you want to be tied up?”