Possessions

by Judith Michael

  She stopped short in the middle of the omate lobby, marble-pillared, floral-carpeted, velvet-upholstered, remembering the softness of the sunmier night as she stood on the terrace of her home in Vancouver, telling Leslie it was too bad she couldn't stay over, to see Craig. I was waiting for him then, she thought. I'm waiting for him now. Two different parties. She glanced in a mirror. Two different women.

  "Katherine," Leslie called. "Didn't you want to be early?"

  "Yes," she said. She might still be waiting for him, but nothing else was left from that other party. Go away, she told his shadow. I have so many other things to think about right now.

  She walked with Leslie and Claude along what seemed to be endless corridors to the glass doors that led to the balkoom. Only the bartenders were there, but in the adjacent dining room waiters and waitresses were setting wine glasses on forty round tables set with ivory damask cloths, white and gold china, floating candlewicks, and centerpieces of russet and white chrysanthemums in woven baskets. Clusters of Norfolk pines stood like miniature forests along the walls, in the comers, and below the stand where an orchestra was tuning up. Chandeliers glowed with amber lights. The Fairmont dining room had been transformed to a New England autumn forest.

  'Tobias," Claude said, surveying the scene. "He misses Boston in the fall so he's recreated it in San Francisco."

  A large man in a tuxedo approached, looking inquiringly from Katherine to Leslie. "Mrs. Fraser? I'm Arvin Wallace, assistant caterer. Mrs. Hayward said I was to discuss any problems with you."

  "We'll be in the garden," Leslie said.

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  Traitor, Katherine thought. "Is there a problem?" she asked Wallace.

  "The caviar mousse, madame. The chef used Beluga instead of the American Golden that Mrs. Hay ward ordered."

  Katherine looked at him blankly. Beluga instead of American Golden. When a woman puts on a new gown and the most elegant of jewelry, she does not anticipate a lesson in subspecies of caviar. "Have you tasted it?" she asked.

  He looked offended. "But of course, madame. How else would I know which caviar had been used?"

  "You could have asked," Katherine said mildly. "How did it taste?"

  "Excellent, of course," he said. "It is, of course, the finest caviar one can buy."

  'Then what is the problem?" Katherine asked.

  "But, madame, surely it is clear . . . Mrs. Hayward originally asked for Beluga, but we thought it was unavailable and therefore the price we quoted for the dinner did not include it. I thought of course madame would see that immediately."

  Snob, Katherine thought. He's worried because he's going to be stuck with the extra cost. Well, he's not going to make himself feel better by making me feel inexperienced, even if I am inexperienced. She raised her chin and calmly scrutinized him until his eyes fhckered. '*Mr. Wallace, at this moment, is the most important consideration cost or excellence?"

  "Madame, there is no question—"

  **Good. It seems inappropriate, then, to raise the issue of cost two hours before dinner. I am confident the mousse will be as excellent as you claim, and tomorrow we will study the matter. I will, of course, discuss this with Mrs. Hayward."

  He lowered his eyes. "Of course, madame." He turned to

  go-

  "Mr. Wallace, about the centerpieces—"

  He looked up and Katherine saw the flash in his eyes. 'The centerpieces, madame? Did Mrs. Hayward— T

  "Mis. Hayward didn't mention them. But they're skimpy. And the two colors aren't bright enough against the ivory cloths. I would guess that some flowers are missing."

  He looked at her with grudging respect. "Yes, madame. By mistake the florist sent red dahlias instead of yellow asters. Quite gauche; I left them out."

  POSSESSIONS

  "Let me see them."

  He sighed, left her, and was back in a moment with a handful of ruby-red dahlias with yellow centers like tiny suns.

  Katherine arranged four of them among the chiysanthemums in one of the woven baskets. The centerpiece sprang to life, brightening the entire table. Silently she looked at Wallace.

  "It does seem pleasant," he said.

  "Please take care of the other tables. Four to a basket; five if you have enough. Is there anything else?"

  "No, madame." He hesitated. 'Thank you."

  Flushed with success, Katherine wandered about the dining room, admiring the tables. She pointed out to a waitress a place setting that lacked a wine glass; she straightened a centerpiece that was perfectly straight; she spoke to the orchestra leader about his selections and asked him to include the Autumn section of Vivaldi's Four Seasons. By then the beautiful room seemed hers and she walked toward the balhxx)m feeling sure of herself, in charge, a hostess—until she saw the first guests arriving, and quailed. I can't do this alone, she thought, and went to find Leslie and Claude. "You have to stand there with me," she pleaded. "I can't possibly greet four hundred strangers without support. Why isn't Victoria here?"

  "She makes a grand entrance at ten," said Claude. Xome along; I'll fill you in on personalities."

  He stood at her shoulder, with Leslie beside him, and whispered capsule descriptions of approaching guests. "Just came back from Majorca ..." "And how was Majorca?" Katherine asked, smiling, as she shook hands. "Owns a pool with flamingoes . . ." "Are the flamingoes flourishing?" Katherine asked, smiling. She was beginning to have a good time. "Mounts stuffed elks in his hunting lodge," Claude whispered. "Whole elks?" Katherine asked in astonishment. The guests looked bewildered as she and Claude and Leslie burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," Katherine said to the dignified man standing in fixmt of her. "How nice to see you; I've heard so much about your elks."

  When Ross came, Claude whispered, "In love with a bril-hant jewelry designer," and so she was smiling when she put out her hand to him. He held it tightly. "Is Victoria ill?" Katherine shook her head. "Claude says she'll make a grand entrance at ten."

  POSSESSIONS

  "And she asked you to do her chores?"

  "Yes."

  "But we'll have time—" He hesitated, then, as others came in behind him, said, "Later," spoke briefly to Claude and Leslie, and went on.

  Finally, Claude said, "That's most of them. Come; I'm parched. The three of us have earned champagne."

  By ten o'clock, four hundred guests in tuxedoes and lustrous gowns strolled in the ballroom and garden. Waiters and waitresses circulated with mirrored trays of champagne and hors d'oeuvres; the orchestra played show tunes; and in a pause between numbers, Victoria appeared in the doorway, in ivory velvet edged in silk. On Tobias' arm, she walked to a high-backed chair on a small platform between the garden and the ballroom, where she could observe everyone.

  A few feet ftx)m her, on the other side of the glass, was the garden, a luxuriant oasis of towering palms like thickly feathered umbrellas, raised circular beds of flowers separated by grass and walkways, an illuminated fountain, lampposts topped with sofdy lit spheres, and six-foot Bird-of-Paradise bushes covered with bnlliant blue and orange flowers like birds in flight. As guests came to greet her, Victoria saw Katherine at the far end of the garden, standing with Leslie and Claude, Marc Landau and his newest companion, and a group of board members of the San Francisco Symphony. They stood beside one of the Bird-of-Paradise bushes, but, in Victoria's eyes, Katherine outshone the flowers and more than held her own with the women around her.

  It was a different crowd from the ones Katherine had met with Derek. This was Victoria's elite: the wealthy benefactors of the city's museums, concerts, ballet, theater, colleges, and universities. Many of them had several homes in or near the world's great cities; most of them represented wealth that had been transmitted through the generations; all of them gave away more than most people earn in a lifetime. Katherine stood among them, smiling, chatting, listening, learning.

  "Look at her," Victoria said to Tobias. "Would you guess she grew up over a grocery store?"

  "I would guess," he mus
ed, '*that she is terrified and exhilarated in equal measure."

  "Nonsense. Well, perhaps so. But how well she carries it

  POSSESSIONS

  off!" She saw Katherine break into laughter, her face glowing. "How full of life she is! Tobias, I do love her so."

  "Yes, quite right," he agreed, thinking how extraordinary was the train of events that began with the cowardice of Craig and led to the love between two women who needed each other.

  "Where is Ross?" Victoria demanded. "I don't see him anywhere."

  Tobias chuckled. "Whatever made you think of him?"

  "Katherine made me think of him, as you well know. Well, would you bring her to me, Tobias? I haven't greeted her and I want to look at her jewelry; several people have mentioned it. Please, my dear."

  Tobias wended his way through the crowd, nodding and smiling at the sleek, successful guests who treated him with respect because he was Victoria's brother and had written a number of scholarly books, but who also thought him amusingly eccentric because he had been content as a professor, unconcerned with what they called serious money.

  I am serious about books, Tobias mused, and as greedy about acquiring them as others are about acquiring money. He chuckled. Perhaps they would admire me more if they knew I was as covetous in my way as they are in theirs.

  At that moment he found Ross beside him. "Can you share your joke?" Ross asked.

  "No, dear boy; it was on me, so I keep it to myself. Have you seen Katherine?"

  Ross looked at the group beside the Bird-of-Paradise bush. "Yes. Would you introduce me to her? If we pretend we're just beginning, with no past to deal with, I could ask her to dance."

  "Ask her anyway. Tell her you're doing it not for yourself, but to please Victoria." Ross laughed. "It would please Victoria," Tobias said. Almost to himself, he quoted, " 'However long we were loved, it was not long enough.'"

  Ross came to a ftill stop. "Say that again."

  Tobias repeated it. "You should always listen to the wisdom of poets, Ross. And of old men. There is never enough time. Damn it, boy, ask her to dance!"

  "Have you a poem that explains loyalty and betrayal?" Ross asked quietly. "And a fear of repeating the past? And a shadow that darkens everything it touches? Of course I'll ask her to

  POSSESSIONS

  dance. But after that . . /' He shrugged slightly. For the past hour, as he moved among the guests, finding old friends, making new acquaintances, fending off commiserations and probing inquiries on his separation from Melanie, he continually found himself near Katherine. How it happened he was not sure, but wherever he turned, her vivid loveliness was not far away, surrounded by broad-shouldered tuxedoes and glittering gowns and jewels. She was a slender, golden flame, swaying sUghtly in the currents of the crowd, drawing others to her, as he was drawn, to stand close to her glow and the lilt of her voice and laughter.

  As he and Tobias walked toward her, the thought suddenly came to him: She doesn't need any of us. She's come this far without Craig, without me, without Victoria. She's done it all herself. She can go as far as she wants, by herself. He felt the emptiness of loss. He'd thought he was protecting her when he kept Elissa a secret, but that had only shown her one more step she could take on her own; she could do without him.

  But then Katherine looked his way and he saw the swift succession of joy, love, and caution in her clear hazel eyes, and he thought it might be all right after all. She didn't depend on him to survive and make her way in the world, any more than he depended on her, but if she needed his love to be a whole person, as much as he needed hers, that would be more than enough on which to build a life.

  "May I introduce Ross Hayward?" Tobias was saying. "Ross, this is Katherine Fraser; I think you two should get acquainted. But first" —he tugged lightly on Katherine's arm— "Victoria demands your presence. If I can spirit you away, just for a moment ..."

  'Tobias," Katherine said as they walked into the ballroom. "Was that a private joke?"

  "Ross wants to start from the beginning," he explained cheerfully. "A good idea. When he asks you to dance, tell him you'll accept not for yourself but because it will please Victoria."

  Katherine looked at him closely. 'That sounds like something you'd tell Ross to say to me."

  "Great heavens!" Tobias expostulated. "Am I condenmed to live my entire life with intelligent women who see through

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  me? Victoria, here is your granddaughter. I leave her to you. I go in search of gullible guests."

  The pitch of conversation had reached a level that almost drowned out the orchestra, and Katherine had to lean close to Victoria to hear her. 'The dahlias are perfect," she said, kissing her cheek. "Wally tried to tell me they were his idea, but I know better. You seem to have put him property in his place. He is the worst kind of snob: a small-minded and very dull man who looks down on others because he moves^among people who happen to have money. Salespeople at certain exclusive shops are the same; I avoid them."

  "I should tell you," Katherine said. 'The caviar— " Quickly she explained it. "I don't know how much more it costs— "

  Victoria waved it away. "They'll make it up; it's their mistake. They knew they'd have to; Wally tried to intimidate you because you weren't arrogant enough to impress him. You handled it perfectly, my dear; I'm sorry I missed seeing you do it. Have you seen Ross?"

  Katherine nodded.

  "Will you dance with him?"

  "Of course."

  "Excellent. Let me look at your jewehy. My friends are asking me where you bought it." Katherine took off her bracelet, a smaller version of the necklace. "Ah, my dear, the feel of it, almost as if it breathes. Have you ever done anything like it? No, of course you haven't. Neither has anyone else. Do you know, Katherine, I aknost covet it."

  Katherine laughed and kissed her again. "It's yours."

  "No, no. But if you would make me something like it . . ."

  "You know I will."

  A trumpet call from the orchestra announced dinner and the crowd surged toward the dining room. From Victoria's platform, Katherine had a fiill view of the mosaic of richly colored gowns interspersed with black and white tuxedoes—patterns forming and dissolving, shifting, flowing, thinning out until the last of the guests had gone through the doors and she and Victoria were alone. "I should have brought my sketch pad," she murmured.

  "You'll remember," Victoria said serenely. "You have an artist's eye." As they walked to the dining room, she said,

  POSSESSIONS

  "Katherine, dear, when you make my necklace and bracelet, will you also make the seahorse? Such simplicity; almost Florentine. How did you leam that?"

  "I don't know."

  "It just comes to you? How exciting that must be. And satisfying."

  "And demanding," Katherine said. "I can forget whatever else is happening—at least while I'm concentrating on it,"

  Victoria nodded. "I think of you working at your table, the way I once worked at Hugh's desk. It gives me such enormous pleasure to tfiink of you at woric."

  In the center of the dining room, Ross sat at a table with seven people Katherine did not know. Two chairs were empty. "For us,'* Victoria said, and as Ross held the one beside him, she took it.

  A burly man with masses of waving hair and a mustache to match held the other chair for Katherine. Ross introduced him. "Brock Galvez—Victoria Hayward—Katherine Fraser. Brock is one of the developers of BayBridge Plaza, Katherine; he talks about it almost as much as I do."

  "More," Galvez declared. "My wife Brenda here, she gets upset; says a mistress she could handle; BayBridge has her stumped."

  In the general laughter, as waiters served the caviar nK)usse, he said to Katherine, "We've met. New Year's Eve, wasn't it? Some crazy shindig with dogs barking Christmas carols. You were with Derek. Haven't seen him tonight. He out of town?"

  "I don't know," Katherine replied. "He's been very busy lately."

  "Good man, Derek; knows how to r
un a construction team. He built us a helluva—excuse the expression—office building down Cupertino way. Doesn't have the—how would you say it— vision of Ross, but I had a drink last night with Curt— known him for years—and he says they're all getting together in a new company. Quite a team, that'll be. Where'd you find that necklace?"

  "I made it."

  --Made it?"

  **l design and make jewelry."

  "1*11 be damned. Can you make me one? And" —he peered 502

  POSSESSIONS

  at her waist— "don't mean to be impertinent but could I see that thingamajig?"

  Katherine unpinned the seahorse and handed it to him. Brenda Galvez asked to see it, and it was passed from hand to hand. Ross watched, a thoughtful expression on his face, and when a woman across the table said, "I'd love to buy one for my daughter," he held a quick whispered conversation with Victoria. "Who carries them?" the woman asked.

  "It's one of a kind," Katherine answered. "And I don't sell these to—^" Ross raised his hand slightly, and, puzzled, she broke off.

  "Well, one of a kind is what I prefer," the woman across the table was saying. "It's unbearable to see just everyone wearing something I've spent a fortune on to be different. Do I order from you?"

  As a slow, wicked smile spread across Victoria's face, Ross said casually, "You'll fmd the Eraser collection at Xavier's in about a montfi."

  Speechless, Katherine stared at him. Victoria looked at her with dancing eyes. 'Try the caviar mousse," she urged. "It is quite the best I've had in a long time."

  But as superb as the mousse was, and the watercress soup and fillet of duck in Calvados that followed, and the dessert of Creme Brulee and lacy almond tuiles, Katherine barely tasted any of it. Xavier's? What was Ross talking about?