Hopelessly Devoted (Bayou Devils MC Book 1)

by A. M. Myers

  I don’t want to do this but I have to. “You should leave.”

  He stops, and the house grows deathly silent, the only thing I hear is my heavy breath as I wait for him to respond. “That’s not going to fucking happen.”

  “I want you to leave,” I respond, sucking in a breath because I’ve never told a bigger lie than that in my life. I want to see him but if I turn around, I’ll be finished.

  “That’s too goddamn bad because you’re stuck with me.”

  Why won’t he just listen to me and leave? Latching on to my frustration, I spin around and level a glare at him. “I don’t need your help, Storm, so you can leave. Go back to your life.”

  “Again with this Storm shit,” he growls, closing the distance between us and slipping a hand into my hair. He gives it a tug, forcing me to drop my head back to look up at him. “Why don’t you get fucking real, Ali? What’s your real problem here?”

  Staring up at him, the anger melts away, and I frantically grasp at it, needing it to keep this up. My lip trembles, and I look away from him as tears sting my eyes. He’s still got a hold of my hair though, and he tugs it again, forcing my eyes back to him.

  “Spit it out, Baby. What do you want?”

  YOU.

  My heart is screaming out his name from the depths of my soul, begging me to stop doing this, pull him in instead of pushing him away. But the mental image of him, dressed in all black as he watches a casket being lowered into the ground has been plaguing me since we left his house. I can’t do that to him. I won’t. Maybe I shouldn’t think like that. Maybe I should try to be positive but it seems that whenever I look around lately, it’s just darkness and chaos surrounding me. How can I pull him into this? How can I ask him to risk his beautiful heart one more time when I have no guarantees that I’ll survive this?

  “What do you want, Ali?” he asks again through gritted teeth as he pulls me closer, his lips hovering above mine. I don’t have the strength to force the words out of my mouth anymore, though. I’m such a coward.

  “I can’t do this to you,” I whisper, and he jerks back, searching my eyes.

  “What can’t you do?”

  A tear slips down my cheek, and I shake my head. “All of this. All the bad shit that’s happened to you lately has been because of me. I can’t put you through something like this after all you’ve been through. You have to leave.”

  “No,” he forces out, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. When he looks at me again, I’m almost knocked off my feet by the powerful emotion in his eyes.

  “Just leave, Logan,” I beg, pushing against his chest and stepping away from him. “Please just leave me.”

  He shakes his head, his gaze locked onto mine. “I can’t do that.”

  “Yes, you can,” I shout, my mind racing as I try to think of anything to make him leave. “Go. The door is right there. Just fucking leave.”

  Tears are pouring down my face by the time I’m done, and he takes a step toward me. I back up, shaking my head but he advances again. “Logan!” I scream. “Leave me.”

  “I can’t,” he says again, his voice so sure that deep down, I know there’s no way I’ll convince him to leave. What the hell is keeping him here? Is it some sense of loyalty that he feels he owes me since we’ve been seeing each other for a while? Or is it the work he does with the club that’s keeping him rooted in my kitchen?

  “Leave!” I yell again, and he shakes his head.

  “No.” He takes another step toward me, and I back up again, my back hitting the wall.

  “Fucking leave me!” I scream at him, louder than ever before, and he blows out a breath as he shakes his head and presses his body up against mine.

  “I can’t,” he snaps, his voice full of anger but his eyes telling me something completely different. “I fucking love you, Ali. From the moment I met you, my fate was sealed, and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what you say to me. And I will end this fucker, do you hear me? I will make him pay for the hell he’s put you through, and you will never have to be scared again because you’re mine, and I will rip apart anyone that gets in between us.”

  I gape up at him, my mind racing, and somehow still blank as the air punches out of my lungs again and again.

  “We clear, Kitten? I love you, and I’m never walking out of that door. End of fucking discussion.”

  Slowly, I nod. His words ring in my head again and again as what he said sinks in, and finally, a little smile teases my lips. He reaches up and cradles my face in his hands as he runs his thumbs over my bottom lip.

  “What?”

  “I love you, too,” I whisper, grinning, and he chuckles.

  “I know. Every single emotion that you feel shows on your face. You can’t hide from me.”

  Leaning up on my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his as he lifts me in the air, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He pushes me back against the wall before pulling away from my kiss.

  “We done with all this yellin’ shit?”

  I laugh and nod. “Yeah, I think we’re done.”

  “Good, ‘cause I’ve got plans to make you do a whole different kind of yelling,” he says, grinning at me as he pulls me away from the wall and turns into my bedroom.

  “That’s presumptuous of you,” I tease, and he shakes his head as he tosses me down on the bed. I giggle as I bounce a couple times before he slowly climbs over me, pulling my blouse up with his teeth and kissing my belly before continuing his journey to my mouth.

  “Not presumptuous. We just had our first fight, and I’m pretty sure that means I get a whole night of make-up sex.”

  I arch a brow and fight off a grin as he kisses up my neck. “Who says?”

  “Shit, I don’t know. There’s got to be a handbook or something, somewhere. You started a fight with me, and now you gotta make it up to me.”

  With a seductive smile on my face, I push on his shoulder and he rolls to my side and lays flat on his back. I straddle his thighs and trail my fingers down the front of his t-shirt. “I hope you’re prepared, then.”

  “Don’t tease me, woman.”

  I plaster an innocent look on my face, and he laughs. “Who’s teasing?”

  “Get to work,” he says, smacking my ass, and a thrill runs through me as I climb off him and strip next to the bed. He moves to the middle of the bed and props a pillow behind his head as he watches me, his eyes growing hungry with each new strip of skin revealed to him. As I slip my skirt and panties down my legs, he licks his lips and holds a hand out for me.

  Taking it, I climb back on the bed and position myself between his legs, peeking up at him as I unbuckle his belt. He sits up enough to pull the shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. Once I have the belt undone, I press my lips to his stomach, just above his jeans, and brush my breasts against his jean-covered erection as I slowly start kissing up his body.

  “Kitten,” he groans, grabbing my arms and pulling me up his body. He steals a kiss, holding me captive as his tongue tangles with mine, and I moan. He releases one arm to smack my ass again as he pulls away. “Get back down there.”

  I slide down his body, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before slowly pulling them down his thighs. He lifts his hips off the bed to help me, and his cock springs free, bobbing in front of my face as I shove his clothes the rest of the way down. He kicks them off and grabs the base of his shaft, pointing it toward my lips.

  “Open your mouth, Baby,” he rasps, the gravel in his voice more pronounced than just a moment ago, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I follow his instructions and close my mouth around the head as I tease him with my tongue, and he groans softly, dropping his head to the pillow. I brush his hand out of the way and grab his length, gently stroking him up and down as I work him further and further into my mouth.

  “Spin around,” he says, reaching down for my legs, and I release him long enough to position my pussy over his face before taking his cock in my hand ag
ain. He groans, louder this time as I take him into my mouth and he grips my ass tightly. After a moment, he starts kissing up the inside of my thigh and bites down. I yelp but he quickly soothes the sting with his tongue, and I sigh until he latches onto my pussy. He circles my clit with his tongue before dipping into me, and I moan around his length. Pulling away, I prop myself up on my hands as he slowly eats at me, slowly building me toward release.

  His hand slips up my back, and he pushes down on my shoulder, directing me back to his cock, and I smile as I suck him between my lips. Focusing on what I’m doing, I press my tongue to the base of his shaft before running it up toward the tip, and he groans against my pussy. His fingers dig into my skin as he grips my ass and sucks my clit into his mouth.

  I buck on top of him before taking him all the way, the head of his cock pressing against the back of my throat. I’m able to hold it for a few seconds before gagging. He groans and pushes my hips off him, moving over me as I fall to the bed. Grabbing my ankle, he pulls me under him and lines his cock up with my entrance.

  “Look at me, Ali,” he says, his voice soft again, and I meet his eyes. He smiles, a brilliant smile that lights up his entire face and takes my breath away. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I whisper as he slides home, and I fall into this perfect little piece of heaven where only he and I exist.

  * * * *

  “Stop making that face,” I say, glancing over at Logan next to me on the couch.

  “You’re making me watch Pitch Perfect, Baby. I’m gonna make a face.”

  I scoff and playfully shove his shoulder. “Whatever. I watched Mad Max without any complaining.”

  “Well, yeah, ‘cause Mad Max is the best movie ever made.”

  Laughing, I roll my eyes and push him again. “You’re delusional.”

  “So?” he laughs, and I can’t help but smile at him. He’s like a completely different person since he confessed his feelings for me a few nights ago. Or maybe we’re both just finally comfortable in this relationship.

  “So nothing, I guess.”

  “If I’m delusional and you love me, what does that make you?” he asks, his gray eyes sparkling with playfulness.

  “Certifiably insane.”

  He growls and pulls me into his arms, swooping down and claiming my lips in a passionate kiss. I sigh and reach up, cradling his face in my hand as I kiss him back, unable to believe that I’m this happy. He pulls back and grins before gently biting my bottom lip.

  “That’s okay, Baby. We can be crazy together.”

  “Aww,” I say, patting his face. “I love it when you get all mushy.”

  He scowls at me, trying to cover up his smile but failing. “Careful or I’ll be forced to show you all the things about me that aren’t mushy at all.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t deliver on, Storm,” I purr, straddling his lap and pressing my hands to his chest.

  “You trying to get me riled up? I can’t think of any other reason you’d call me Storm. Unless you want me to spank this gorgeous ass.” He grabs my ass through the cotton shorts I’m wearing, and I gasp, grinding down on his lap. “You know the pizza’s gonna be here any minute. Why are you teasing me now?”

  “Oh, that reminds me – did you remember to get extra mushrooms on the pizza?” I ask.

  He sighs and moves his hands up to my hips. “Kitten, give me a little credit here. I know how you like your pizza.”

  “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

  “Just assume that if it’s about you, I already know the answer.”

  My brow arches, and I study him for a moment. “What did you do? Have someone dig up information on me?”

  “Yes,” he says, nodding. I can’t believe that he doesn’t even bother trying to deny it.

  “I don’t know if I should be worried or flattered.”

  Reaching up, he brushes his thumb over my cheek. “I told you, Baby, the moment I met you, you owned me, and I had to know everything about you.”

  “Well, when do I get the dossier on you?”

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me, Ali.”

  I watch him, skeptical of his statement. I’m not sure that he would tell me anything I wanted to know. In the past, getting him to talk about things has been like pulling teeth.

  “All right, we’ll start off easy. How old are you?”

  He laughs. “That was your big burning question? I’m thirty-one.”

  “Oh, man, you’re so old,” I tease, and his fingers dig into my sides. I squeal and wiggle in his lap, trying to get away as he tickles me.

  “Anything else you’d like to know, nosey?” he asks as he stops tickling me, and I let out a breath.

  I’d love to ask about other things but I’m still not sure that he’d tell me. I open my mouth to test it out and ask him something when the doorbell rings. Bear lifts his head and barks once before rolling onto his back and falling back to sleep.

  Logan scoffs. “Some guard dog he is.”

  “I’ll get the pizza,” I say, hopping off his lap, and he stands, handing me his wallet. I start to argue with him but he gives me a look, and instead, I snap my mouth shut and go over to the door. I swing the door open and scowl. There’s no one here.

  Scanning the street, I step out of the door, and my foot hits something, drawing my eye down. I suck in a breath and back into the house, my gaze fixed on the two dolls lying on the welcome mat. Logan’s wallet falls to the floor, and my hand covers my heart as it beats against my ribcage.

  “Ali?” Logan’s voice comes from behind me but it sounds far away somehow, like I’m underwater, and I don’t move, frozen to the spot as the rest of the world fades in and out of focus. Each breath I take rings in my ears, drowning out everything else except the sound of my heart frantically pounding in my chest.

  Breathe in.

  Boom-Boom.

  Boom-Boom.

  Breathe out.

  Again and again as I stare at the two dolls that look like exact replicas of Logan and I. My doll is delicate with golden blonde hair piled up on her head and striking blue eyes, her hands folded in front of her as she smiles in a white satin wedding dress. Logan’s doll looks just like he does now – t-shirt, jeans, and boots – but there’s a pocketknife sticking out of his chest and X’s drawn over his captivating eyes.

  I whimper, my body shaking violently as I struggle to draw air into my body.

  “Kitten, look at me,” Logan says, louder this time as he slips into my field of vision, and I blink up at him as I gasp for air. “Just breathe, Baby. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

  Still gasping, tears fill my eyes and slip down my cheeks as I look at him, pleading with him to do something to make it stop. I don’t even know what to do. My body is frozen but inside I’m being pulled in a hundred different directions. I can’t move, and suddenly I know what it feels like to be a deer stuck in the road as a car blares its horn and barrels straight for you.

  I whimper again, my knees wobbling, and Logan’s face twists with agony as he pulls me into his body and crushes me to him. “Shh, Baby. I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

  Reaching up with one hand, I grip his shirt in my fist, squeezing it tight as I sob into his body, and he whispers in my ear, running his hand over my hair again and again. The smoothing repetitive motion does begin to calm me but I still cling to him, my mind racing with all the bad scenarios that I read about after Mercedes told me to research stalkers.

  “Come here, Kitten. Come sit down while I deal with this shit,” Logan whispers in my ear, and I grip his shirt tighter and shake my head.

  “I don’t want those things in here.”

  He pushes me away so he can look in my eyes as he wraps his hand around the back of my neck. “I know, Baby. But we have to close this door, and I’ve got to make some calls.”

  I stare up at him for a few seconds before nodding my head. “Okay.”

  He kisses my forehead bef
ore releasing me and turning around to grab the dolls from the porch. I look away as he picks them up and shuts the door. When I glance back at him, he’s holding them off to his side so I can’t see them. He smiles and nods his head toward the hallway.

  “Let’s go in the kitchen.”

  I nod, and he walks in front of me, careful to keep the dolls out of my view as we walk into the kitchen. He stands by the sink in the island, and I climb on a barstool, watching him carefully.

  “I’m going to put them on the counter, okay?”

  I nod and take a deep breath as he pulls the dolls up from under the counter and lays them on the granite. My stomach rolls, and I can’t take my eyes off the doll that looks like Logan as tears well in my eyes. In all his letters, Chris has never once shown violence or been angry at me but it hits me all of a sudden as I sit in my kitchen with tears streaming down my face that, quite possibly, it’s not my life we need to be worrying about.

  Logan watches me closely as he pulls out his phone and dials a number before holding it to his ear. I tune him out, trying to think about all this clearly, but my mind is still bogged down by fear, and I can do nothing but sit here and freak out. Logan ends the call and dials another number, and I think back to the research that Mercedes insisted I do. I wish I would have paid more attention when I was reading but I was still at a point where I was dismissing all of this as not that big of a deal. But not anymore.

  “Hey, Mercedes, it’s Logan,” he says, and my gaze flies to him. He’s staring right at me, love and determination in his eyes. “Not great, actually. I was actually calling to ask if Ali could work from home for the time being.”

  I start shaking my head at him but he turns away from me. “Yeah? That’d be awesome. Thank you so much. I’ll tell her to call you.”