Trust Me_A Kindred Novel

by Moxie North

  Faye knew she should accept it graciously and humbly. She couldn’t help the thought in the back of her head that he could do better.

  She hated that thought. One half of her brain realized it was crap. That she was as valuable a person as anyone else. The other half was the one that had grown up with adults that were supposed to have cared for her telling her that she would always be a waste, that she would be a drain on the system and never amount to anything.

  She’d fought against those words for a long time. Did getting a Kindred mate mean that you didn’t have to try so hard? Faye could easily admit to herself that she was tired. Not just from being sick, but tired of doing everything herself.

  It was exhausting never having a break. She was known to get jealous when a commercial came on with some sweet couple sitting around on a Sunday morning and the husband brings the wife a cup of tea. She thought that was the sweetest thing in the world. Gideon had brought her tea. She’d been a little delirious with fever, but she realized the gesture had meant something.

  She could bring him tea. But what else could she do for him?

  “You’re thinking too hard,” Gideon murmured into her ear.

  She wanted to tell him what she was thinking. It had been easier the last few days to speak freely with him. But she didn’t want to share her thoughts with the men in the front of the car.

  “Promise to tell me at home?” he said ever quieter.

  Faye nodded against his chest. Home, he said it so easily. Living in a fancy apartment, eating at restaurants. Unlimited cable. Those were the trappings that lured you in.

  That wasn’t true. Faye knew that was just the window dressing. The real question was whether she could make a man like Gideon happy. Maybe if they had sex he’d realize he needed more spice in his bed. There had to be some kind of return policy on human mates, the ones that just didn’t work out.

  If that was what it took, Faye would sacrifice one night to prove to Gideon that she was best left where he found her. One night in Gideon’s bed. It would give her something to remember. Maybe she could use that self-esteem boost to start dating again.

  Then again, a rejected mate might not be the hottest ticket out there. What would happen to Gideon if she did that?

  Twisting her head up to look at his strong jaw, she saw he was smiling. He was looking ahead, his eyes distant. He was happy. Was she supposed to take that away from him?

  What kind of person would do that to someone else? There was a lack of kindness in the world. Faye knew that for certain. She wasn’t going to add to that. But how long could she play along with Gideon?

  They arrived at his apartment building and went into the garage. They didn’t immediately get out. Anson and Tucker got out and did a full sweep of the parked cars in the immediate area. Once they were assured there was no one hiding, Anson came to open the door while Tucker kept his eyes out for anything they might have missed.

  At least this time Gideon let her walk, although her walk was tucked under his arm and plastered to his side.

  She wasn’t sure if he was doing that in case she bolted or because he was protecting her from some unknown threat.

  Inside the elevator they didn’t talk. The ride up was quiet and Faye could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

  They walked into the apartment and Gideon went straight for the stairs. He was taking them to his room.

  Faye started to get nervous. Sure, she’d made her bold decision in the car, but now, now it was real.

  “You’ve had a lot of excitement tonight. I’m going to run you a bath then it’s straight into bed with you,” he said as they entered the bathroom.

  “Bed?”

  “Yes, bed. If you don’t mind, I’d like to join you tonight. I want to hold you. I’m still adjusting to this too. But I don’t think I can be apart from you tonight.”

  Sleeping, that would be okay, she thought. Looking up at him, she hadn’t really realized how tall he was. He dwarfed her and she had to admit, she liked looking up at him.

  “Okay,” she answered. She didn’t know if she’d be able to just sleep next to him. He wouldn’t do anything if he said he wouldn’t. Faye, on the other hand, was feeling so off-kilter that she was worried she might snap and jump him just to get rid of the anxiety of waiting.

  That would be something to rehash for the rest of her life for sure.

  Gideon brushed his fingers over her cheek. The look in his eyes kept taking her breath away. She was one hundred percent sure no one had ever looked at her like that. She had to assume that it was love because she’d never seen that look before. There were so many emotions he was projecting at her that she was having a hard time keeping up and processing each one.

  He started the bath and Faye stood back thinking about what his heating bill must be like. She had the world’s tiniest water heater and filling a tub was out of the question.

  The endless stream of steaming water pouring out of the tap was like gold. Gideon went to the cabinet and pulled open the cupboard and dug around for something. He stood up with a bottle in his hands.

  “I knew I had some of this from the last time Evaline crashed here. She loves baths,” he said returning to the tub and pouring a healthy amount in. The tub immediately started to foam. Big fluffy bubbles filled the space.

  “I can either stay here and help you in or give you some privacy?”

  Faye knew which one he was hoping she would say. “Privacy, please.” A naked parade in front of Gideon was not going to happen tonight.

  He smiled indulgently at her and turned to walk out of the room.

  Faye stripped in record time and was in the tub, under the bubbles in moments.

  She couldn’t help but let out a moan. The water felt blissful and she hadn’t realized how much tension she had been holding in her body.

  Faye got all of a few minutes to herself before there was a soft knock on the door.

  “Um, yes?”

  “You decent?”

  Faye didn’t answer that with the first thought that popped into her head. Of course she wasn’t decent. She was naked in a man’s bathroom playing princess in his giant tub. Her former foster parents would be calling her Sin-derella.

  “Sure?” she said that with a question because she wasn’t really sure. Naked with a covering of bubbles wasn’t exactly the latest fashion.

  Gideon opened the door and walked in confidently. Of course he would. He’d probably seen lots of naked women.

  Faye tilted her head up to look at him and didn’t have to do it long. He sat down on the floor next to the tub bringing them eye to eye. He pulled up his knees and draped his arms over them, his body leaning against the side of the sleek tub.

  “Did you need something?” she asked.

  “Yes, you. I missed you.”

  “In the few minutes I’ve been in here?”

  “Sorry, that’s going to be the way of it. I wanted to talk to you and since this is where you were, it’s where I needed to be.”

  “Talk about what?”

  “Everything. I want to know everything about you.”

  “It’s not that interesting.”

  “It is to me. The life my mate has led is of utmost importance to me. I need to know your past as we move forward to our future.”

  Faye heard the words and couldn’t stop herself from repeating them. “Our future.” It sounded foreign on her tongue. She wished she had a mom or a best friend to talk to about everything that was happening.

  “Faye, every day can be me and you. We can do whatever we want. Work, play, vacation, anything your heart desires.”

  “I don’t do vacations.”

  It’s time to start then, let’s get away from the cameras for a while. I know a great private resort in Hawaii. I might own it actually. Want to go?”

  “To Hawaii? What, now?”

  “It might take me a few hours to get a plane organized, but yes, if you want.”

  “I don’t think we should be g
oing to Hawaii right now.”

  “Okay, in a few days then when you’re feeling better.”

  “Sure, a few days,” she said to appease him. There was no way she was going to Hawaii with him.

  “Tell me about your family.”

  Faye couldn’t stop herself from snorting. “I don’t have any family.”

  “Mom and dad?”

  “Dad, who the hell knows. My mom liked things she could shoot up more than she liked the child she was saddled with. I don’t have a lot of memories of those times. I should, I was old enough. My grandma said my mind was protecting itself and I should be grateful. I heard things from social workers. I wasn’t in the best shape when they took me away from her. I can remember being hungry and cold a lot. She wasn’t always there. Being with Grandma was better. We had food and kept each other company.”

  “What was your Grandma’s name?”

  “Sara, just plain Sara. I always liked it. It fit her. She had raised my mom alone. It was a situation where my mom started hanging around with the wrong group. She ran away a lot, starting doing drugs. My Grandma really couldn’t keep up.”

  “Then she passed?” he asked gently.

  “She did, in her sleep. It’s exactly how she would have wanted to go. She didn’t like a lot of drama. But it left me in the system.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “I remind myself that being ignored is not the same as being abused. Not by a long shot. I was just a piece of the furniture to my first few families. I had a bed; there was heat and food. I went to school, but most of the kids somehow knew that I was a foster kid. It must be something about us, how we carry ourselves.”

  “I think they are the ones that have an added protection about them. Our Kindred children that lose their parents, it doesn’t happen often, and there’s plenty of family to take them. But sometimes they live with heart-bound mates. Two Kindred that can’t reproduce. That way they get the experience of having two loving parents and staying in their Clan. Those children, when they are transitioning, often have a wall up around them.”

  Faye leaned her head back on the edge of the tub. The warmth and bubbles were soothing her body. The look in Gideon’s eyes was doing its best to relax the rest of her. He was listening so intently. Not looking bored at all.

  “Kids are smart that way. I got moved from my first home for reasons unknown to me. I was one of three and they just packed up my things into a trash bag one day and the social worker picked me up. The next couple hadn’t had foster children before. They fought a lot while I was there. I tried really hard to not get in their way, be as invisible as possible. Then I landed in the last home that I aged out of. I was given a room of my own. I wasn’t allowed television, the family prayed a lot. Not that it was a bad thing, but it was the only thing we did together that wasn’t a chore. I cleaned, cooked, went to school. They only approved of modest clothes and long hair and lived very simply. Again I was fed, clothed, and got to go to school. I decided it wasn’t a bad place to be. I was ignored as long as I did my chores. I figured if I kept my head down, I would age out of the system and make a new future for myself.”

  “What happened when you were eighteen?”

  “I got a small grant from the state. They allowed me to live in a halfway house while I got a job. I saved every penny until I could afford my apartment. I worked two jobs, saving everything. When I got my job at Thayr, I was able to save enough to start my classes. I really felt like I had started my life then.”

  “If you had all the money in the world, would you still want to work, Faye?”

  “I couldn’t stop being around animals. I feel like I understand them. They so desperately want to be loved, for someone to notice them as they walk by the cages. They are on their best behavior, trying to look young enough, cute enough, well behaved enough to be taken home. They can’t tell you when they’re hurting or sad. You have to just know. I think I can do that.”

  “Then you should. It’s important to you.”

  “That’s why I’m going to school, Gideon.”

  “Faye, I know I dumped a lot on you tonight. I can apologize for it, but I’m not sorry. I probably wouldn’t be able to do it with more finesse if I got to do it over. The shock of finding the love of your life doesn’t leave you with a lot of time to plan.”

  Faye shook her head at him. “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Say that so easily?”

  Gideon smiled at her. She’d expected a frown, she kept denying his attention and if it were the other way around, she’d be angry as hell by now.

  “I say it because it’s the most honest thing I can say right now. It’s hard to explain how something can feel so right. You fit me. It makes sense that I wanted to be around you. I liked your company. I’ve been living the same way for so long that I’ve lost sight of the important things. You talk to me. You know some people are actually afraid to talk to me?”

  Faye couldn’t help but smile at that. “You are a powerful, sometimes scary, Kindred. Of course they are afraid of you.”

  “They just don’t know me. Are you afraid of me?”

  “Not anymore. I used to be… intimidated. I would try to catch glimpses of you when I walked by your office.”

  Gideon’s eyebrows rose, “You did?”

  Faye felt her cheeks heat up. “Yes. You were an enigma. The impossible person. Your confidence was fascinating to me.”

  “You noticed me before. Did you think about me?”

  Faye looked away because she knew her pink cheeks were going crimson red. Hopefully the water was masking anything else that was happening to her body.

  “Faye, did you? Think about me?”

  She was naked in a tub next to him. Who was she kidding trying to play shy now? Looking back to him, she said, “Yes. I did. You were the knight in shining armor that I’m sure many women fantasized about.” Gideon’s eyes flashed silver at her and she knew he liked what she said. “I only did that because I thought I would never meet you. It was a safe fantasy.”

  “Now that I’m offering you a reality that I hope is better than your fantasy, is that why you can’t believe it?”

  “I still think you could do better,” she admitted.

  “Faye, you don’t see yourself. You are so beautiful. You have the purest heart and I’ve already shown that I find you physically attractive. I would be lucky to have you. I don’t deserve someone as sweet as you. I couldn’t do better than you. There’s no one better than you for me.”

  “I don’t think I can think of myself like that. Too many years of trying to not draw attention to myself. Years of finding it easier to not let anyone in. I don’t know that I can flip a switch like that.”

  Gideon stared at her. She could honestly say that it didn’t make her uncomfortable. If anyone else had done it, it would send her running. She didn’t want to know what people might be thinking about her. She knew what Gideon was thinking even if she couldn’t believe it.

  “Time,” he finally said.

  “Time for what?”

  “We have time, Faye. We have tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. We have time to figure this all out. I’m not going to rush you just to prove my word. And believe me, it’s hard. I know one night together and you would wake up with a mark that could never be erased. That’s almost too easy. I get that.”

  “It’s funny because you don’t even think of the other possibility,” she said wryly.

  “Which is?”

  “That I wake up tomorrow with no mark and you still got what you wanted.”

  Faye watched the thought go through his head then he frowned at her. “Why would I do that?”

  Sighing, Faye almost felt sorry for him. “Because that’s what shitty people do. They use people to get what they want. They lie, cheat, and steal to get it. I know that because I’ve met those people. I don’t think you're that type. You don’t need to be. But I’ve learned to guard against
those that would use or hurt me.”

  This time Gideon looked away from her. She could see the muscle in his jaw flexing. When he finally turned back to her, she saw he had come to some kind of decision.

  “Finish up your bath. Do you need me to get you anything to wear?”

  “No, I can manage,” she said.

  Gideon stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’d like to sleep in the same bed tonight. I know you aren’t ready for anything else. We’ll get there. But I’d like to have you close.”

  Faye should say no. Faye should go to her own room and lock the door. Not to keep Gideon out, but to keep herself in. Something about the way he looked at her now was like a beam of sex that went right through her. There wasn’t even a way to deflect it. Her entire body was full of holes from his gaze.

  “I’ll stay in here tonight.”

  He didn’t smile this time; he just nodded and walked out.

  Faye sunk down until her nose was under the water, keeping her eyes just above the bubbles in case of another chat. The warm water was working on her muscles, but not her mind. That was a ball of knots.

  Gideon of Clan Othala had announced she was his mate. He wanted to claim her, present her to his Clan. Faye was embarrassed to have her named called out at the doctor’s office and now she was supposed to represent a Clan?

  There was also that part about how Kindred loved their mates so much the first thing they had on their mind was sex, the second was babies.

  Babies! Faye was still working on keeping a plant alive. She hadn’t even proven herself with a pet. She had no example of how to be a mother. With her luck she’d end up like one of those guinea pigs that ate their babies.

  Giving up, she took a deep breath and sunk under the water, letting the view of the fancy bathroom disappear until her world became a fuzzy sensory void. She hoped that when she came up for air that maybe things would be easier.

  Chapter 27

  Gideon stood in the hallway outside his bedroom door with his hands on his hips. Making up his mind to resist the urge to go back into the bathroom, he went down to his office.