Coming Home

by Gwen Kirkwood

  ‘I’m all packed. I’ll be there!’ Megan called back.

  ‘Turn left at the road end and we’ll take a scenic route this evening,’ Derek instructed.

  ‘We shall not have long to view the scenery. It still gets dark early. It doesn’t feel like spring yet.’

  He continued to direct her along country roads she had never been before but she felt more confident and in control now. She hoped her father would be impressed. They had travelled quite a distance when Derek told her to turn right into an even narrower road. As she drove along she began to feel uneasy. The road was so narrow there were passing places at the side. Megan shuddered.

  ‘It’s so dark and gloomy with the trees meeting overhead. It’s like being in an eerie green tunnel and there’s still snow on the tussocks of grass where the sun never penetrates.’

  ‘Draw into the next clearing and I’ll drive the rest of the way,’ Derek offered. ‘You’re doing well. I reckon you should apply for your driving test.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Megan drew the car to a halt and climbed out of the driver’s side. The dark woods on either side gave her a creepy feeling but she stretched thankfully, realising how tense her neck and shoulder muscles were. Before she guessed his intentions, Derek had moved round the car and placed an arm on either side of her, trapping her with her back to the car.

  ‘How about a wee thank-you then before you go off for the holidays. I shall miss you, Megan.’ His arms tightened and he pressed her close, much too close. ‘I don’t know how I shall survive without seeing you,’ he muttered and clamped his mouth firmly on hers stifling her protests. His kiss deepened. Except for Steven’s tender goodbye kiss at the station Megan had never had more than a peck on the cheek. She struggled, trying to shove Derek away but he was strong and broad shouldered. She remembered Pauline telling her he had been in the rugby team at university. His grip tightened. He seemed excited, oblivious to her struggles. She began to panic. She couldn’t breathe. The smiling young man she thought she knew had disappeared. She was frightened and his strength astonished her.

  ‘Stop it!’ she gasped when he lifted his head for a moment.

  ‘I’ve been longing for this since the first night I saw you with Pauline.’ His breath was hot against her cheek and his mouth moved feverishly over her face.

  ‘Stop it, Derek! C-control yourself.’ She was near to tears but he continued to rain kisses on her face and then down to her throat. One of his hands was fumbling with the buttons of her coat and Megan was both angry and terrified now. She had no idea where she was and she realised Derek had brought her to this isolated spot deliberately. His intentions were obvious, even to her. It was lust Derek felt and nothing more. She struggled helplessly.

  Twelve

  As soon as the roads were clear enough Jimmy Kerr offered to take Steven up to Willowburn if he could ride pillion on the back of his motor bike. Steven accepted gratefully. It was Jimmy’s father who had bred Shandy and both father and son often stopped at Schoirhead to pass the time of day on their way past. They always enquired how the wee dog was doing and Mr Kerr offered some advice on training him.

  Hannah Caraford was astonished and delighted when Steven walked into the kitchen at Willowburn that evening.

  ‘Wherever did you spring from, laddie? How did you get here at this time o’ night? Surely you havena come on your push bike?’

  ‘No,’ Steven grinned at her, ‘I got a lift on the back of an angel of mercy.’ Behind him Jimmy gave an explosive laugh and Steven introduced him.

  ‘I’ve been called a good many names but nobody has ever called me an angel,’ he chuckled. ‘Wait until I tell Ma that.’

  ‘Well you must be something like that to come out on a cold night. I’m truly grateful to you, laddie. I’ll make you both a hot drink and something to eat. Draw up a chair. You go up and see your father, Steven. He’ll be really pleased you’ve come. He’s managing to say an odd word now, enough to let me know when he needs a drink or the toilet. He has a long way to go but his mind is clear and that’s a great relief.’

  ‘Where’s Fred?’ Steven asked warily.

  ‘He and Edna are toasting themselves in front of the living room fire. I think they’re listening to “Have a go Joe” on the wireless.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll go up to Father then.’

  As soon as he entered the bedroom, Steven knew by the way his father’s eyes widened then lit up that it had been worth the freezing ride on the back of Jimmy’s motor bike. He went to the bedside and took his father’s limp hand in both of his. He had difficulty speaking himself over the lump in his throat. His father looked so much smaller and so defenceless propped against a mound of pillows. He was trying hard to speak.

  ‘Heifers? Is that what you meant, Father?’ He nodded.

  ‘A-aw-ay,’ he croaked.

  ‘Don’t worry about them. The dealer collected them the day before we were blocked in with the snow. He paid me thirty pounds for the pair. He said that was what you agreed?’ His father nodded. He seemed to relax. He tried to smile, or at least that’s what Steven thought but it was a lopsided grimace.

  ‘B-uy…c-c…’

  ‘You want me to buy a cow with the money?’ His father nodded and closed his eyes as though exhausted. Steven sat for a while on the edge of the bed but he guessed the effort to talk tired his father. He heard his mother calling softly from downstairs and he stood up. His father opened his eyes and gave the grimacing smile, then he reached over with his left hand and clasped Steven’s hand firmly.

  ‘G-laad…c-c…’

  ‘I’m glad I came too, Father. The roads are getting better every day so I’ll be back to see you before long. You rest now, and don’t worry about any of us.’ Steven said gently. His father had never been a demonstrative man but on impulse Steven bent and kissed him lightly on his brow. Eddy Caraford opened his eyes and Steven saw they were bright with tears. He squeezed his father’s hands. ‘Rest now,’ he said gruffly. He closed the bedroom door quietly behind him. He gulped over the lump in his throat then took out his handkerchief and gave a good blow before he returned to the kitchen to join his mother and Jimmy Kerr. He sensed his mother’s keen regard.

  ‘He’s better than I dared to hope,’ he said. ‘I could guess what he was trying to say. Did the doctor think his speech would return?’

  ‘He was here today and he said he was pleasantly surprised and he thinks Eddy may be able to communicate if he goes on as he is doing, though he’ll probably never be able to hold a proper conversation,’ she added sadly. ‘Now drink up your tea Steven and eat some scone and jam. I’ve made up a parcel of food for you to take back if you can manage it on the motor bike.’

  ‘Oh I’ll find a way to manage it,’ Steven grinned. ‘Thanks Ma.’

  ‘Then I think you’d better be getting back. I do wish you had a telephone so you could tell me you were home safely.’

  ‘I’ll telephone you, Mrs Caraford,’ Jimmy volunteered. He grinned at Steven. ‘We’ll not be able to stop off at the pub for a drink if we’ve to report in.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Ma. Jimmy is only teasing. We shall both be glad to be back home to a warm house tonight. And I’ve put my name in for a shared telephone line. I said it was urgent due to illness so I should have a telephone before long.’

  ‘Oh, Steven, that will be such a relief.’

  ‘Yes, it will. I never thought of anything like this happening. We shall not have to talk too long though because the other party can’t use their phone if the line is being used.’

  ‘Just to be able to get in touch will be a relief. Annie McGuire has been very kind but I hate to pester other folks.’

  ***

  Fear leant Megan strength as she struggled against Derek’s grip.

  ‘Let me go!’ she gasped. ‘You have no right to treat me like this.’

  ‘No?’ He lifted his head. He seemed surprised. ‘I’ve been taking you out for weeks now.’

  ‘B-but only to teach m
e to d-drive…’

  ‘For goodness sake Megan! You must have guessed how I feel about you. A fellow doesn’t waste his time and petrol driving a girl round the countryside unless he expects something in return. Come on…’

  ‘Y-you’re despicable,’ she said with a gasping sob. She turned her head sharply as he tried to kiss her mouth again. ‘I-I thought you enjoyed teaching Pauline and me to drive.’

  ‘Pauline knew I fancied you. That’s why she stopped coming. I told her I’d rather be alone with you. You must have guessed?’

  ‘She knows I-I h-have a b-boyfriend. Don’t! Don’t do that!’ She pushed furiously at his groping hands.

  ‘So you’ve just been using me?’ She sensed Derek’s temper was rising. Anger was a dangerous emotion. ‘Then it’s time I used you in return.’ He fastened his fingers in her hair and wrenched it painfully, intending to turn her face to his while he held her hard against the car. Megan’s only thought was to get away from him. In desperation she grabbed at his nose and twisted it sharply. He gasped in pain and his grip slackened momentarily. She darted under his arm and ran into the wood. She had no idea where she was or where she was going. She had to get away. Run! Run! The words pounded in her head. Get away from him.

  It was even colder and darker amongst the trees and the undergrowth caught at her clothes but in her panic she ran on blindly. She heard Derek calling her name but it didn’t occur to her that he might be suffering remorse. Her breath caught in a sob but she kept on running until she was too breathless to go any further. She stopped behind a tree and listened. Gradually she stopped panting and her ears became accustomed to the night time noises and scuffles but there were no footsteps crashing through the wood in search of her. She had no idea how long she waited but eventually she heard a car engine roar into life some distance away. She held her breath. Yes, it was moving, she could hear it driving slowly along the road at the edge of the wood.

  The wave of relief was followed by an awful fear. How was she to get back? What if she couldn’t find her way out of the wood? Her teeth were chattering with cold and fright. Supposing she died of exposure in the cold night air?

  ‘Come on Meggie, let me look at your knee and I’ll give you a piggy back home.’ She could almost hear Steven’s voice all those years ago when she had followed him and Sam against their wishes. They had gone looking for birds’ nests in the old quarry and she had missed her footing and fallen heavily. ‘I c-can’t walk,’ she had sobbed.

  ‘You can do anything, anything in the whole world, Meggie Oliphant,’ Steven had said bracingly, ‘if you’re brave enough to try.’ She had looked up at him with a wobbly smile and tear streaked face, but she had put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her to her feet. She took a deep breath. She needed all her courage now. She didn’t want to spend the night in the wood and end up as a frozen corpse. She wanted to go home tomorrow. She wanted to see Steven again. She peered through the trees in every direction. She thought the sky seemed lighter when she looked in one direction, but it could have been her imagination. She had to try. Stumbling over tussocks and through brambles she kept her eye on that grey glimmer which was only slightly less dark than the rest. She couldn’t believe she had run so far into the wood. Eventually the trees began to thin as she reached the edge. There was not a star to be seen through the thick curtain of cloud. She clamoured over a ditch onto the road. She had no idea which way to go.

  The narrow road seemed unending on foot and several times she stopped to pull up her coat collar against the damp chill of the wind, or to rest her feet for a few minutes. Her shoes were never intended for a hike in the country and they were wet and muddy. She could feel her heels growing tender and knew she would have blisters long before she got back to the hostel. Eventually she came to a junction with a slightly wider road but the signposts had been removed during the war and had not yet been replaced on such minor roads. She couldn’t remember driving this way. Mentally she tossed an imaginary coin then set off resolutely, hoping she might come to a cottage or farm where she could ask directions. She cringed at the thought of questions though. Only a fool would be out walking and get lost on a night like this. She came to another junction and a more major road. She was still hesitating when she saw two lights winking and wobbling towards her through the darkness. As they drew nearer she realised they were bicycles ridden by two middle aged workmen. She breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward to ask for directions.

  Megan’s relief was short lived. The men estimated she was at least five miles from the main road and another mile or two to the college. She wanted to sink down onto the grass verge and cry like a baby, but common sense reasserted itself. She gritted her teeth. She would get nowhere sitting down. If only she had grabbed her hat and gloves and scarf when she ran out so joyfully to join Derek. Even if she came to a village and a bus route she had no money to pay her fare. Resolutely she lifted her chin. There was nothing for it but to plod on in the direction the men had recommended.

  Her feet were blistered and sore with the rubbing of her damp leather shoes and her stockings were ruined from the brambles in the wood. Darkness had brought a chilling drizzle which penetrated to her bones in spite of her efforts to keep up a brisk pace. She had no idea how far she had walked. Except for the distant twinkle of a farm or cottage she seemed to be nowhere near civilisation. Her heart sank as she realised the hostel would be locked for the night long before she reached it, if she ever did. She was so weary and cold it was an effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other. These were country roads and petrol was rationed so she couldn’t even thumb a lift. She was filled with despair.

  At last Megan trudged through the gates into the hostel drive. The building was in darkness as she had known it would be. They were all supposed to be in bed by ten o’clock and that was hours ago. She felt like curling onto the steps and weeping. The rain was falling faster now and it had penetrated through her tweed coat and her jumper so she could feel the damp chill on her shoulders and her hair was dripping down her neck and around her face.

  She knew there was a boiler house but she had never investigated the sheds at the back of the hostel. She had to find shelter somewhere for the rest of the night. Her teeth were chattering with cold as she moved stealthily round the back of the building. As she reached the hostel laundry and the tiny kitchen which was for use of students she saw a faint crack of light round the thick wooden door. She remembered one or two of the bolder students sometimes arranged to be let in that way if they were out later than they were supposed to be. She had never expected to have need of it herself. She tried the door but it was locked. She knocked gently, without much hope. She almost fell inside when the door opened immediately.

  ‘Megan? Oh Megan, is it really you at last? Thank God you’re safe! Thank you, God.’ Pauline Cameron muttered and put her hands together as though in prayer. She was in her dressing gown and slippers and she seemed as near to tears of relief as Megan herself. ‘It’s nearly two o’clock. I-I thought. O-oh… I don’t know what I thought.’ She stammered feverishly as she unbuttoned Megan’s coat and peeled it off. She reached to the pulley above their heads and pulled down a towel which didn’t belong to either of them. ‘Sit on that stool. Let me rub your hair. I’m frozen waiting in here so you must be like ice.’ She pulled down another towel. ‘Here, dry your face and hands. I’ll kill that brother of mine.’

  ‘H-how d-did y-you know…?’ Megan could barely speak for her chattering teeth.

  ‘He telephoned the payphone and asked one of the girls to get me. He was worried sick. He knew he shouldn’t have left you – miles from anywhere – and in the dark. He said he waited quite a while but he couldn’t find you. He went back again to see if you were on the road but he thought you must have got a lift.’

  ‘D-did he t-tell you what h-happened?’ She took the towel from Pauline and rubbed vigorously at her hair but she felt she would never be warm again.

  ‘He said you’d had
a quarrel and he was sorry he lost his temper.’

  ‘I see. I-I think I turned the wrong way when – when I came out of the wood…S-so m-many narrow roads and cross r-roads.’

  ‘We must get you into bed and warmed up,’ Pauline urged anxiously. ‘I can only pray you don’t get pneumonia. You were off with flu after Christmas. I’ve kept the kettle boiling. I’ll fill my hot water bottle for you. I filled yours hours ago and wrapped your pyjamas round it but it’ll be cold now. You ought to have a hot drink but we’ve no milk for tea. Come on, we’ll tip toe upstairs and I’ll get your bottle and fill it up again.’

  ‘What about you, Pauline? You’ll need a bottle.’ The bedrooms were notoriously cold and the windows were patterned with a layer of frost for most of the winter.

  ‘I don’t need it as much as you. You can’t stop shivering. I’ll never forgive Derek if you’re ill after this.’

  ‘It’s not your f-fault. D-don’t w-worry a-and th-thanks for letting me in and w-waiting up. Come on l-lets g-get to b-bed.’

  Megan was thankful to get out of her wet clothes but her stockings had stuck to the raw blisters on both her heels and she winced as she pulled them off. The soles of her feet were sore and she had blisters on her toes. She pulled on her pyjamas and a cardigan and then her dressing gown. She took some thick socks from her case and put them on too, knowing she must get warm as soon as possible. Poor Pauline, I must thank her properly tomorrow, she thought. It was a long while before she began to feel warm and it was almost time to get up by the time she fell asleep. She missed breakfast and would have missed her train if Pauline hadn’t knocked on her door and brought her a glass of milk and a rasher of bacon sandwiched in a slice of bread.

  ‘I managed to cadge these from the wee Irish maid,’ she said, ‘but you’ll need to hurry if you want to catch your train. Maryanne is already down in the lobby with her case. She’s panicking because you weren’t at breakfast.’

  ‘I didn’t thank you properly last night, Pauline.’