Anything to Have You

by Paige Harbison

  It had never become a big thing between Brooke and me. He had been new at school, and everyone thought he was cute. When she’d told me he was coming out to get coffee with her and some others, I’d asked if she would find out if he knew who I was, and if she might talk me up a little bit. But next thing I knew, she was going to the movies with him and asking me where the best sushi was for a person who didn’t really like sushi, because she wanted to take him somewhere that would make her seem cultured and show him what it was like to date a city girl.

  “Isn’t that one of the best endings?”

  I snapped back to reality. The credits were rolling.

  “Yeah, wow.”

  “It’s sad, but it’s awesome. Did you like the movie?”

  “I did, you were right—it’s different than I thought it would be, but it was really good.”

  He nodded, looking proud to have gotten it right. “Yup.”

  It occurred to me only then that we were at the end of our night. It was that moment of truth where we would either say goodbye...or he would stay.

  I stood up and looked out the window. “Holy crap, it’s really snowing.”

  He came over next to me, so close I could smell him. I felt the same chest-shuddering feeling I’d had when we were on the sled together. He smelled like clean laundry and that body wash.

  “Definitely no school tomorrow,” he said.

  “Not safe driving conditions at all,” I added, it striking me how bold that was only after I said it.

  But he didn’t argue. “Definitely not.”

  I thought for a split second, and then asked, “Hey, have you ever seen Vertigo?”

  “You know, I haven’t. I’ve always wanted to. You have that poster in your room, don’t you? The orange one.”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Do you have the movie?”

  “Of course.”

  “Let’s watch it.”

  I thought momentarily about telling him that this was inappropriate and weird and that it made no sense for him to be here spending time with me. But, as I knew I would, I pushed the thought from my mind and succumbed to the temptation of having more time alone with him.

  Part II

  Brooke

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  First Semester, Junior Year

  THE NEW GUY was hot. People had been talking about him all day long—well, all right, girls had been talking about him all day long—but I had yet to see him. I knew everyone in the school except the new freshmen, so I was sure that when I saw him, I would know it was him.

  It would have been impossible to miss him, even if I hadn’t been keeping my eyes peeled for hours. I was sitting at my usual lunch table holding court with my friends, as I generally did, when he walked through the doors. I was struck speechless—something that was verifiably difficult to do. I stared at him and was instantly infatuated by his good looks and charmed by the nervous way he looked around the cafeteria.

  I almost stood up and invited him to come sit with us, but resisted. I was glad I did when a girl named Kylie went up to him and did, and I saw how pathetic she looked.

  “Brooke?” asked Alexa.

  “What?” I responded dumbly, not able to take my eyes off him.

  “You just...stopped talking.”

  “Right.” I snapped my gaze back to her and tried to look unrattled. “The point is, everyone should watch the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet and the ’96 one back-to-back at least once in their lives. You’ll never look at love the same way again.”

  God, would someone else come up with something to talk about for once? Why is the burden of conversation always on me? This was fine except for when I didn’t feel like it.

  The next day, I was lucky enough to be standing in the right place at the right time in the hallway.

  “Excuse me.”

  I turned to see Hot New Guy behind me, holding a schedule and looking lost. And still superhot.

  “What’s up?” I tossed my hair to one shoulder.

  “Can you tell me where to find room 324? It jumps from 318 to 400....”

  “It’s down this one weird hallway. Here, I’ll show you.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be late to class.”

  I was almost always late to class, but I liked that he thought I might be the studious kind of girl that hated tardiness.

  “It’s fine,” I said. “My teacher will understand when I say I was helping the new kid.”

  He gave an adorably timid laugh. “Thanks so much.”

  “No problem. So...are you a junior?” I asked, like I didn’t know damn well that he was.

  We started making our way down the hall.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Was that an accent? “And you?”

  “Yes, I am. And you just moved here from...”

  “Texas.”

  We were already almost at his classroom. “Wow, Texas. Must be a big change for you, then.”

  He breathed in and nodded slowly. “It definitely is. But I’m excited to be here. I knew all the same people back home for most of my life. Pretty small town. So I’m lookin’ forward to meeting new people.”

  There was definitely a slight accent, and I couldn’t help but smile at it. “Here’s 324.”

  “Yeah...I would never have found this.”

  “It’s a tough one. Well, hey, if you want to, then look for me in the cafeteria at lunch, and you can meet some new people.”

  “Sure, I’ll look for ya. Thanks again. What was your name?”

  “Brooke.”

  “Brooke. I’m Aiden Macmillan. Pleased to meet you.”

  * * *

  IF THE ACCENT, RUGGED hotness and politeness hadn’t been enough to give me a blind crush, then him actually following through on finding me in the cafeteria did it. I was slightly nervous in front of him, but luckily he wasn’t as shy as I’d first assumed. He jumped into conversation with everyone and seemed to be able to talk about just about anything.

  “Brooke, by the way,” Alexa started, looking excited. “My mom has been working constantly for the past two weeks, and she said she’ll probably be going out of town next weekend. We’ll have to do something. Hopefully it stays warm like this and we can use the pool.”

  “What’s your mom do?” Aiden asked.

  “She’s a lobbyist in D.C.” Alexa rolled her eyes. “Boring.”

  “Is she really? That’s so cool. I guess this thing with the vice president is what’s got her so busy, then, huh?”

  So he kept up with politics and everything. I would have to ask Natalie what the “thing with the vice president” was so that I could sound knowledgeable about it next time I talked to him.

  “Yeah, I guess,” said Alexa. “If I ate only grapefruit for the next, like, month, do you think I could lose ten pounds? I love grapefruit, and I’m pretty sure I could do it. As long as I could still have coffee.”

  Aiden laughed, not knowing Alexa well enough to know that this was a serious query. He seemed to realize it quickly, though. “Run a mile a day and cut down on carbs. Don’t starve yourself, or you’ll put weight on faster next time.”

  Alexa stared wide-eyed at him. “Really?”

  He seemed to resist another smile and patiently answered, “Yes.”

  He sounded like Natalie every time I suggested that I should do some extreme diet. When I’d mentioned that whole cayenne-maple-syrup-lemon-juice fast, she had calmly told me that it was a terrible idea, and that I should ride my bike more often.

  When the conversation shifted to events coming up, Aiden asked if anyone intended to go see the Avett Brothers when they came to Baltimore in November. I knew the name of the band but didn’t listen to them. Natalie was always putting them on in the car
when I gave her DJing privileges. Since I drove everywhere for us, I mostly got to pick, but every once in a while I would let her put on her weird folky music.

  I started to say that my friend would probably be going, but stopped when I realized that I would likely be edged out of the plan or end up feeling left out with the two of them. For some reason, I already felt like I could predict how the night would go. They would sing along to the songs and chat about boring stuff happening with vice-president-type people. God forbid I bring up a fad diet.

  It was then that it struck me that what I should really do was to hook the two of them up.

  But he’s so hot, my simple, romance-obsessed brain said. There’s no way I’m that generous.

  The challenge came when, two days later, Natalie turned down the music on the way home. “Have you talked to that new guy at all? Aiden Macmillan?”

  “Some,” I confessed. I hadn’t mentioned our interactions to her for some reason. Ordinarily, I told her everything from the inane to the gossip-column-worthy.

  She hesitated, and then said, “I think he’s really cute.”

  “Obviously he is. Everyone knows that.”

  “Yeah, I know...but he was wearing an Alabama Shakes T-shirt the other day. I don’t know, I’m thinking maybe he isn’t just another dumb jock like Justin and Eric and all those guys. And especially nothing like fucking Reed.”

  I shrugged, suddenly feeling a little territorial over the new guy, who I had decided I wanted.

  She went on.

  “He’s also in AP Statistics, which is pretty cool. And I heard him saying he was going to apply for an internship at a vet clinic next year.” When I said nothing and started singing along with the song again, she said, “Do you think you could put in a good word for me? Or like...introduce us? Something like that?”

  “Sure, whatever. Hey, can you hand me my lip stuff? My lips are still sunburned from the other day.”

  * * *

  THE NEXT DAY, I asked Aiden if he was doing anything on Friday, and if he wanted to go get coffee. My sudden competition with Natalie—and the irritating notion that maybe I would lose if he was given both of us as options—had given me confidence and made me feel like I had better hurry if I wanted to snag him.

  When I was texting Natalie and told her I was going to get coffee, she immediately asked if he was going to be there. She seemed to assume that there was a group of us going, and I didn’t correct her.

  Yeah, he’ll probably be there.

  Awesome! Good word for your bff over here don’t forget. :)

  You’re being so weird, you never go after guys, haha.

  I know. I mean, I don’t even know him or anything, maybe he sucks, but it’d be cool if he was...cool.

  Hahah lewzer. I’ll do my best to drop a line for ya.

  Oh, come on, you’re YOU, you can talk anyone into anything I’m pretty sure.

  Yeah yeah yeah.

  K, have fun! You would hate this movie I’m watching btw. It’s in french, and it seems obvious that the english subtitler, like, barely spoke french. Haha. Text me when you get home and lemme know how it went.

  K

  The entire way to the coffee shop, I felt guilty for my white lie. I didn’t know why I hadn’t just told her I thought I might like him, too.

  That wasn’t true. I knew why. It was because I had guys pounding down my door half the time, and she didn’t. Not because there was anything wrong with her, she just didn’t put herself out there like I did. And it felt like a shitty-friend thing to do to decide that I wanted everyone, even the one guy she had ever expressed interest in. Once I realized that, I knew what I needed to do.

  I needed to make this a platonic get-together and try to hook the two of them up.

  I rationalized away my own interest as I wound out of my neighborhood, onto the main road and into downtown to where we had agreed to meet.

  They really were probably better for each other. If I were to date him, he’d probably talk about boring stuff half the time, anyway. And make me go to concerts to see, like, the Avett Brothers and stuff. My talk about Bravo TV shows would probably make him think I was stupid. He would think I was a product of mainstream when I expressed interest in seeing someone like Justin Timberlake instead.

  Yes, I decided. I would hate dating him. AP Statistics? He would absolutely think he was smarter than me. But he and Natalie would get along swimmingly.

  So I sat there in my car, still worried about how I looked and everything, because, duh, but feeling sure that I would do a good job of talking her up. I would be the wingman. Fun! I never got to do that. I would be good at it. I envisioned myself confidently schmoozing him and talking about my friend and maybe not even sitting up perfectly straight or pulling my sexiest expressions. Maybe even gaining him as a friend. That would be fun, an actual guy friend.

  Ooh, I could ask him for advice on other guys and everything!

  He walked up at seven on the dot, and I waited until 7:02 to get out of my car, straighten my black tank top and scarf and head inside.

  Aiden turned out to be the kind of guy who made you feel at ease immediately. Being alone instead of in a crowded lunchroom with other friends could have been real weird, but he was so easygoing that it wasn’t hard at all.

  He told me about his old town, what his parents did, where he intended to go to school if he could, what he hoped to do—generally speaking, he was perfect. He was going to be a vet, which I took to mean he was going to be saving the lives of puppies all day long for the rest of his life.

  When I voiced this summary of his job, he just smiled and said, “Yup, I am a puppy saver.”

  I laughed, and then noted that that was the kind of response I got from Natalie all the time—the detached and indulgent kind that meant they had given up conveying the facts to me. I then remembered the choice I had made. Talk up Nat. Don’t try to take him for myself.

  He gestured at me. “What do you want to do?”

  “When I grow up?”

  “Yeah, when you grow up.” He leaned back, and I could tell I was charming him. Eh, he probably knew he was charming me, too.

  Shit! I was being charmed and being charming! Abort, abort, abort.

  I cleared my throat. “Probably something in fashion. I know that, like, every girl wants to do that, but I love it.”

  “Yeah, God, why are you such a girl?”

  I glared at him and then smiled. Ugh, but how was I supposed to not be into him when he was being so cute and charming?

  “You’ll regret alienating me when I’m the talk of Lincoln Center at fashion week.”

  “I...have no idea what that means.”

  “Hey!” I kicked him under the table. “You’ll regret it. I’ll be rich and famous and I won’t give you any free clothes.”

  Dammit. I was flirting again.

  “That’s okay. Give them to someone who will appreciate them better. I can see you being famous. You don’t seem like the kind of girl who sits on the sidelines.”

  “And what kind of girl do I seem like?” Full-on flirtation mode.

  He gave a small flick of an eyebrow that almost derailed me and said, “Oh, I’m not telling you that.”

  “Aiden!” I tried to look offended, and surely failed. God, stop flirting. Bring up Natalie. “So...anyway. My apparently awful personality aside...have you met my friend Natalie?”

  He wrinkled his brow in thought. “Natalie. The brunette?”

  I hadn’t heard her referred to that way before. It sounded so sexy. The brunette vs. the brown-haired girl.

  “Yes, the one who dresses like a new-age Mary Poppins.” That had come off slightly disparaging, and I really hadn’t meant it to....

  He gave one laugh. “I didn’t see her in any stupid little hats or sli
de up any railings.”

  “No, but she’s all skirts and jackets and little boots and stockings.” Ugh! Why couldn’t I stop?

  “All right, what about her?”

  I shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know, what do you think?”

  “What do I think?” he asked. I nodded and he gave a helpless look. “She’s hot, I don’t know. She seems like a smart girl. I haven’t talked to her hardly at all.”

  “Right, well. She doesn’t really talk much. She does with me, but she’s, like, socially backward. In a good way!” I added the last part at his raised eyebrows.

  “Socially backward in a good way, okay. Why are you asking?”

  “I think you two might hit it off if you actually hung out sometime.”

  I leaned forward, hoping I looked clever and unattached. I privately loved that I got to come off as uninterested in him. You might say that that meant I was in fact interested in him, but when it comes down to it, I’m at least a little bit interested in almost everyone, and I certainly want them all to be interested in me.

  “You think so, huh?”

  “Yeah, she’s smart like you. You’re similar, I think.”

  “I’m not necessarily looking for someone a lot like me, you know.” The bait he was dangling made the butterflies start. He then squashed them. “I’m not looking for anyone, period.”

  “Well, maybe she’ll find you.”

  “Who, Natalie?”

  I shrugged and smiled. “Or whoever.”

  He didn’t seem interested in her, I decided. I took this as permission to go after him myself. Hey, I had done my best.

  A few minutes later my phone buzzed with a text inviting me to Alexa’s. Her mom had ended up going out of town, it turned out. I asked if he wanted to go, and the next thing I knew, I was in his Jeep for the first of many, many times.