Imperative: Volume 2, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice

by Wells, Linda

  “Jane?” Elizabeth laughed. “That is like mistaking sugar for salt; they look the same but are impossible to mistake one for the other.”

  “I think that both of us carry some amount of guilt for things that our sisters experienced, things for which we are entirely faultless. And as you tell me, we must let them go.” He spoke seriously. “Whatever I was, I now know that in my heart, I did my very best for my sister. And you, dearest Elizabeth, are not at fault for any burden that your sisters had to experience as your father passed. Your peace was made with him. He needed to die without you there, to atone for his attempts to keep you …” His eyes grew bright.

  “From you.”

  “But by sending you to me, look at all of the good it has done.” He kissed her and then slid his hand back over her belly. “You said that you want to be with child nearly more than anything in the world.”

  “I do. I am terrified to admit that I am. Should I lose the baby …”

  “We would simply try again. That is all.” Elizabeth’s lips parted in surprise and he laughed. “Dearest, I am not naive and we suspect it might have happened once already. How many miscarriages did my mother suffer? I know that the worst can happen, but as you wisely reminded me this morning, you are stronger than I give you credit for being because I want to protect you at all times. I want, nearly more than anything in the world, for you to truly be carrying the first of our proposed four boys and two girls.” Elizabeth laughed and wiped the tears that began to track down her face. “But, should this one, who I believe with all of my heart is real, choose not come … then we will have another chance. And another, and on and on, until you cannot stand the sight of me coming towards you with my …” He laughed, “My netherparts aflame.”

  Elizabeth’s hand clapped over her mouth when she gasped with laughter. “Will!”

  Darcy smiled and then caressed his palm over her stomach. “I pray daily for our baby to be here.” He looked up at her again. “Should it not be today, then it will be tomorrow. I know that. I want you to know that. Whatever weight you have placed upon yourself to produce an heir for me is unnecessary. He will come. And any well-meaning relative or sadly smiling neighbour who gives unsolicited advice or opinion may be ignored. It is important, I will not lie. It is very important, but … he will come, and someday when this house is full of noise, you and I will look at each other and reminisce fondly of our silent hallways.”

  Elizabeth stared at him in absolute wonder. “Why did I not ask you your opinion of this months ago?”

  “I am sorry that you did not, but then, I have spoken often about my hopes. Perhaps that discouraged you.” He shrugged and kissed her. “If it increased the burden rather than made you happy, I am sorry.”

  “I have to stop holding my fears so close to my heart.” She sighed and then tapped on his nose. “As do you.”

  “I know.”

  “I hope that in some small way I have helped you. I know that your burden is just as … no, it is more difficult than mine.”

  His hand clasped hers tightly. “No dearest, we both are striving to secure Pemberley’s future, are we not? We both hold the same lives in our hands by what we do today.”

  “Oh my … I am not certain how comforting that thought is.” She brushed back the draping fringe of hair and watched it return to cover his brow again. “Do you feel better?”

  Darcy nodded. “A thousand times. Nothing is solved and yet I feel so much better for speaking of it. And you?”

  “Yes. I feel the same way, about everything.”

  “Are you with child, Lizzy?” He smiled and laughed when she sighed. “Are you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Good. Let me know the moment that maybe becomes yes.” His eyes twinkling, he leaned down to kiss her and stopped. “If having a baby is almost your favourite wish, what is your deepest held dream?”

  “What is yours?” Elizabeth challenged with sparkling eyes. Darcy laughed and leaned in, but was halted by her fingers pressed to his mouth. “You will not answer, Mr. Darcy?”

  “I am about to.” Moving her hand aside, he kissed her. “But do you need it spelled out for you?”

  “I am but an ignorant young girl …”

  “Pshaw!” Darcy eyed her smiling face. “Tell me yours.”

  “That you will always love me.” Her cheeks coloured, but she lifted her chin defiantly. “Can you do better for a wish?”

  “Of course.” Elizabeth’s face fell. “I wish that you would always love … and want me.”

  She groaned and pinched him. “You just had to add in the wanting part, did you? I did not find it necessary to say that in mine, it was a given.”

  “I am a man, what can I say? It is perpetually on my mind.” He watched his fingers as they traced from her shoulder to her thigh. “Now, may I show you?”

  Throwing her arms around his neck, she rolled him onto his back and smiled down at his delighted face, “I wish that you would!”

  Chapter 34

  “Mr. Collins, if you do not stop apologizing I will have to insist that you leave my room and not return ever again.” Mary said wearily. “I told you a week ago that I forgive you, is that not enough? I realize that you have difficulty hearing what others are saying, but surely forgiveness is something you would seek from me?”

  “Of course, dear Mary, but I am afraid that I cannot accept your forgiveness so easily. You see,” he pulled over a chair and sat down beside her dressing table, “I have insulted you cruelly.”

  Mary held back her urge to scream and instead balled her hands into fists. “I know that. Mr. Collins.”

  “I did not mean to. When I wrote to Mr. Darcy, it was … it was not to … to … gloat that you, my dear wife, had allowed me the … great gift of your body for my pleasure, since after all, it is my right to …” Seeing her stare, he backtracked quickly, “not that I would assert such a right in any way that would meet with your objections, you have always been most willing to accommodate …” He swallowed. “Mrs. Collins … I … I am afraid that I … I felt the inexplicable need to … very well, triumph, to my brother, Mr. Darcy. You see, I had heard … quite energetically , of his greatness from Lady Catherine. She was exceptionally passionate in her unending praise and description of his worth and … his estate and his … potential!”

  Sighing tiredly, Mary nodded, “Naturally, she desired that he be her son, she expected it.”

  His head bobbed eagerly, “Yes, yes, and I fully supported the notion!”

  “But he married my sister instead.”

  “A promise was made to me by your father …” He began petulantly and added hurriedly, “Not, not that I regret in any way marrying you, my dear. I know that you and I are eminently the better match, we are … we are like two peas in a pod, you and I!”

  Mary did her best not to roll her eyes, and instead drew on her years of experience enduring her parents’ indifference and her observation of Elizabeth bearing her mother’s insults with grace. “You were insulted that someone as great as Mr. Darcy would take away your promised bride because he was to have someone better?”

  “Well … Not precisely, it just did not seem fair, he could have anyone after all. He could refuse Miss de Bourgh, although why he would do that and give up Rosings, surely gaining that magnificent estate would be worth the deficiencies of marrying such a delicate creature, but then when he looked upon Miss Elizabeth, Mrs. Darcy, she was clearly the picture of health and surely more attractive to such a powerful man to satisfy his needs for a connubial partner for his …” His mouth shut again and he swallowed.

  “Future life?” Mary said quietly.

  “Yes … his life.” He coughed and hung his head. “Well, she was promised to me, and … I … was rather … proud that not only had I married the clearly better sister, but that you have given me … are giving me … a child. Before him.” He looked up at her pleadingly. “Do you understand?”

  “The better sister? Your pride in our union ma
de you boast of our child being formed before his?” She said slowly. “How am I better than Lizzy?”

  “I … As much as our brother is obviously the perfect match for her, I know that I would be the exact opposite. I … feel that if she were my wife, I … I would spend most of my time tending to the garden in all sorts of weather simply to limit our company. You … you seek my company.”

  Mary absorbed his statement and moved on, “Your pride led me to be utterly humiliated before our family. And how much hurt did it bring upon Lizzy and Mr. Darcy? I am certain that he has written to you about this, I could see a change in you weeks before this letter from Lady Catherine came. What did he say to you?”

  “He … He was very direct in his opinion of me. I daresay that an invitation to Pemberley is not … likely very soon. His dislike of me is quite significant.” He saw Mary’s expression and looked at her pleadingly, “I am very sorry, Mary. I know how you care for Mrs. Darcy. You see his anger lies not only in my words about his lack of success with his wife, I … I was using Mr. Darcy … I was claiming his knowledge as my own and fooled nobody but myself in the attempt.” He hung his head again. “The wise in heart will receive commandments; but a prating fool shall fall.”

  “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Mary corrected. Collins lifted his eyes hopefully and she sighed. “This is the first time that I have heard you truly humble on any subject.”

  “Do forgive me, Mary.” He begged.

  “I already did, but if I ever hear of you speaking of my sister in any way that is not in the most glowing terms, I … I will send for Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley and Lady Catherine to come and deal with you, after I have had my chance!” Mary lifted her chin. “Now … whatever direction Mr. Darcy gave you in his letter, I … I suggest that you go and live up to his expectations. I am bearing your child; the least you could do is … be better than my father and provide a good future for him.”

  “Yes, yes, yes, dear Mary! I … I will be off immediately!” He stood readily and then bending to take her hands to kiss, flew out of the door.

  Mary closed her eyes and took a calming breath. “I can hear you Elizabeth. He is a fool, but he is my fool.”

  “PARDON ME, I NEED THAT.” Elizabeth smiled and then sighed when Darcy studied her hand clasped in his. “Will.”

  “This? I am sorry, Lizzy, I need it more than you.”

  “You silly fool.” She tugged and tugged, but he was not budging. “Do you want to have this ball or not?”

  “Now that might be one your best silly questions ever, my love.” Happily, he tightened his grip as her eyes narrowed. “Try again.”

  “If you are looking for me to bribe you …”

  “Ahhhh, now that sounds promising!” His eyes lit up. “Let me see, what would satisfy me?”

  “One, two, three …”

  Darcy laughed and tilted his head, “What are you doing?”

  “Since I am prevented from taking your watch, I am timing how long it takes you to request what I know you want for your satisfaction.” Elizabeth fixed him with a pointed stare at his mouth.

  “Do you think that kisses alone will satisfy me, dearest?” Darcy murmured and roughly, pulled her in closer. “That will merely whet my appetite.” His teeth nipped at her ear, followed by his mouth against her throat. “Do you truly wish me away?” He breathed in her perfume.

  “You do not play fair, sir.” She closed her eyes against the insistent caress. “You know where I am vulnerable.”

  “I do.” He whispered. “And I mean to take advantage.” Darcy drew her into his arms. “Come away with me.”

  Elizabeth laughed and looked up at him. “What are we escaping?”

  Darcy smiled; his gaze wandered over her face and then down to her mouth, his eyes closed as he leaned in and Elizabeth felt her heartbeat begin to pound. With one hand on the curve of her back, and the other tenderly cradling her head, his thumb brushed her jaw as he kissed her cheek, her eyes, and finally, insistently, her lips. He felt a shudder move through her. “Lizzzzzy.” He whispered and stroked her mouth, licking her parted lips, tasting her tongue and drawing her ever closer into his encompassing arms. The kiss grew deeper. Elizabeth’s hands, pressed against his chest moved around his waist and she could feel his heart pounding against her. “Come away …” He whispered against her ear.

  “Where?”

  “You are willing now?”

  “I always was …”

  “You will come anywhere with me?” Elizabeth’s eyes opened and she saw the twinkle in his. “Ahhhhh.”

  “YOU ARE TEASING ME!”

  “Sweetest, dearest Lizzy, do you feel what you have done to me? Is it so insignificant that you do not know how aroused I am? How I want you?” His eyes were dark with desire, but still they were laughing. Letting go, he kissed her, and then rubbed her ruby red lips with his thumb. “I wish you to feel as much wanting as I do while we are apart. And by the look in your eyes, I believe that you do.”

  “How am I to maintain my seat with any semblance of grace now?” She demanded with a heated whisper and rubbed against the bulge in his breeches. “Will! How can you leave me this way?”

  “I will be suffering as well, dear. I just did not wish to do so alone.” Drawing a long breath, his gaze swept over her once more. “Lovely.”

  “You are a cruel man, Fitzwilliam Darcy. Teasing is unkind.”

  “Says the pot to the kettle.” Darcy kissed her forehead, and then drawing away, removed his signet ring from his finger. Gravely taking her small hand in his, he examined her delicate fingers and with a chuckle, slipped the ancient band of gold over her thumb. “There. Now, my love, arrange us a ball.”

  “If I did not know better, I would say that you are excited.” She looked down at the ring and fisted her hand protectively over it.

  “Perhaps you do not know better. What a singular idea.” Hearing the sound of ladies’ voices approaching, he stole one last lingering kiss before ducking from the room with his modesty intact. “I will collect on your promise later, dearest.” He waved and was gone.

  “Did I make a promise?” Elizabeth said helplessly. Fighting the desire to suggest horseback riding at a full gallop to the ladies, she concentrated on her revenge. “Very well, Fitzwilliam Darcy. I will pay you back in full.”

  “HAS JANE VOICED OBJECTIONS to leaving her family seat permanently? Or is she glad to go?” Hurst asked outside of an inn where they had stopped to change the horses. Bingley looked at him and Hurst shrugged, “Louisa and I were concerned, after that afternoon of mortification at Longbourn, Jane’s serenity was shaken and your good humour became nonexistent. But it was quite the emotional scene when we took our leave of Longbourn this morning. We were unsure where things stood and I was selected to be the intrusive one. She seems to be back to herself?”

  “Yes, I believe that she is.” Bingley looked to the inn door, waiting for his wife to appear. “And no, she has not voiced her objections. If anything, I hope that she is seeing the advantages of departure.”

  Nodding, Hurst clasped his hands behind his back. “As you know, Louisa and I spent roughly the last three years at odds, save the time since this past winter when we began feeling our way back. We are comfortable with each other again. She is supporting me over Caroline and … it has made for a far more pleasant relationship. I am sure that you have noticed? We are hopeful that children may come to us now, where before that notion would have frankly been a miracle.”

  Giving him a genuine smile, Bingley clasped his shoulder, “I am glad for you. I certainly have seen the great improvement between you. I always thought that you were a good match for each other, even back when you were courting her … you just lost your way for a while.”

  “Well, I let that happen. I have no sisters so I thought that I could not stand in the way of the sisterly affection that Louisa shared with Caroline, but then Caroline is such a domineering woman … no that is not the word for her. S
he is superior and condescending while simultaneously grasping. But like any woman, she was raised to reach as high as she could for her future. Louisa married appropriately and well with me.” He lifted his chin proudly, inspiring a chuckle from Bingley. “I am afraid, though, that Caroline’s hunger is more than reality will provide. Darcy’s loss was a lesson to her that she is having a difficult time swallowing.” Bingley nodded resignedly. “In any case, it was a great deal for me to encounter upon marriage and I am afraid that I hid in the bottle rather than fight.”

  “What made you change?”

  “I was weary of it and rather disgusted with myself. Then I watched Darcy falling in love and determinedly marrying his utterly unsuitable but perfect match of a bride who, I happily admit to loving this, infuriated Caroline and every scheme she ever imagined. I just thought, damn it, here is a man irrevocably taking charge of his household and I should, too. Louisa is grateful for it.”

  “I believe that is what I have done, but at what cost?” Bingley said quietly, “I am hopeful that a visit between the sisters will revive the woman I love.”

  “I thought that you said she was revived?” Hurst’s brow creased and seeing Bingley lost in thought he cleared his throat. “I am hopeful that Caroline will find a mate in this visit.”

  Bingley laughed hollowly. “Who of Darcy’s circle will want her? This is a fool’s errand.”

  “Lord, Bingley, I do not like this man you have become! We have three long days in the carriage together before we arrive at Pemberley and can breathe again. That is close confines for ill humour. If you expect to win back the girl you thought you married, then you must behave like the man she thought she chose. If you intend to stay in this funk, then I will remove our baggage and we will hire a carriage and return to London.”

  “You would do that to me? Leave me with Caroline?” Bingley stared. “What you should be offering is to leave me alone with Jane and take her with you!”

  “I just revived my marriage because of her. It is your turn.” Hurst smiled and Bingley closed his eyes when he felt his back clapped by his brother’s hand. “I think that I have made my point.”