Renegade Heart (Renegades Book 1)

by Lissa Lynn Thomas

  I break the kiss to nibble at the delectable bend of her neck and her head falls back, granting me access to explore the area more thoroughly. I keep one hand on her lower back to keep her against me and she squirms deliciously, making us both moan at the friction she’s creating. I take my time kissing and sucking over the sensitive skin of her neck to her jaw and then down her throat.

  “Raif…” Chloe’s voice is breathless and cuts off on a groan when my mouth reaches her chest. With my teeth, I tug at the neckline of her tank top until the tops of her breasts come into view. Those luscious curves are encased in tight teal lace. It might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I pause to take in the sight of her and her face flushes, her eyes skirting away from mine. I cup one of her breasts over the soft material of her tank top and she arches into my touch, her pulse jumping in her throat. I pull the shirt over her head, dying to see the rest of her.

  “You’re so gorgeous, Chloe.” I say before she’s kissing me again, her hands on my jaw and my neck, keeping me close. My hands are on her chest, teasing her breasts through the cups of her bra. I break off the kiss, sliding my tongue under the lace confining her heavy breasts. She grinds against me and I growl when her hands slide up my bare chest. I somehow missed her removing my tee shirt, but I tune back in as her hands make their way to my belt. Her fingers are shaky as she gets past my heavy buckle and onto the button fly of my old jeans.

  She whines, and I smirk at her. “Something the matter, darlin’?”

  “Why can’t you ever wear sweatpants?” She asks as she undoes the buttons with fingers that are clumsy with passion.

  I chuckle but then her hand is slipping inside my jeans. My chuckle turns to a groan when she finds what she’s seeking. I’m throbbing for her inside my boxer briefs. I expel a quick breath when her deft fingers close around my shaft moments later. I groan out her name. She smiles naughtily at me before kissing me breathless.

  Holding myself still to allow Chloe to explore me to her heart’s content is not easy. She seems to be trying to memorize the feel of my length under her touch. My heart is pounding out of control, my breath coming in desperate pants when she breaks our kiss and moves off my lap. I frown, following her but she pushes me back onto the couch and tugs my pants and boxer briefs off and then settles herself on her knees between mine.

  Everything feels foggy around me. Just the sight of her on her knees between my legs is making it hard to breathe. Then both of her hands are between my legs, stroking and squeezing, teasing me until I am moving into her touch, craving more. She smiles saucily up at me and then leans down, taking my length in her mouth.

  “Chlo—” My head falls back against the sofa as she closes her mouth around my girth and sucks lightly. “You don’t have to.” I manage around a moan of pleasure.

  She doesn’t stop, just keeps up what she’s doing, tasting me, swirling her tongue around my tip. I thread my fingers through her hair and she sucks a little harder, moves her mouth up and down over my shaft. My intent wasn’t to guide her motions, but it feels so good, I can’t help tugging harder on her hair. I move my hand to the back of her neck to keep her where she is, with my length hitting the back of her throat. My hips long to move, but I keep still, only my fingers pulling on her hair. I think about anything but the way she looks right now; half naked in teal lace on her knees with me in her mouth. I let go of her neck and her head bobs up and down, the wet heat of her mouth encasing me, bringing me closer to climax.

  This was not the plan. The plan was to take my time and worship her body. I wanted to make her beg for me, bring her more pleasure than she’d ever felt before. Instead, she’s unraveling every ounce of control I’ve learned since I was a teenager. The evening’s going to be over before long if she keeps it up.

  “Chloe,” I try again as she takes me deeper. “Hang on.” I plead, and she does so immediately. She pulls back and lets me slip from her mouth.

  I take her in, her cheeks are flushed, her lips swollen, her hair disheveled. “God you’re sexy.” I tell her, and she blushes hotter and leans up to claim my lips in a kiss. I pull her up so she’s on my lap again, sitting sideways now, her legs hanging between mine.

  She bites my earlobe and asks, “Do you not like that?”

  I groan and pull her mouth back to mine, kissing her with everything I’m feeling. When I break away, I speak against her mouth. “No, darlin’, it’s not that. I liked it a little too much. I didn’t want to end the party too soon.”

  She flushes darker and I groan, so turned on I can hardly stand it. “We wouldn’t want that,” she agrees, her luminescent green eyes hooked on mine. I run my hands over the front of her from her neck all the way down between her legs, over her clothes. She leans into my touch like a cat.

  “You need to be naked, Chloe Jane, I want to memorize every last detail of this perfect body of yours.” I take my time looking her over as I reach behind her and unhook her bra, peeling it from her body slowly. Her skin is the color of rich cream, her breasts heavy and rose tipped, shaped perfectly to slightly overflow my hands when I cup them. Her breathing goes shallow, her eyes holding mine as my hands explore her body.

  I mouth over her chest, sucking, biting and kissing until she’s breathing in short little pants, her hands clutching my hair. After I’ve memorized the taste and texture of her breasts, I set Chloe on her feet in front of me. She wobbles a little at first and I wrap my arms around her to hold her up until she stabilizes. When her knees finally lock, I let her go. I look her over top to bottom, slowly perusing her body. She shivers, her eyes hot on me.

  Hooking my fingers in the waistband of her leggings, I tug them down her legs, following their descent with my mouth. She braces her hands on my shoulders and whimpers when my tongue delves between her legs after I remove her teal lace panties. My hands are firm on her hips, to help keep her steady while I take my time exploring her silky folds, tasting her arousal. I don’t stop until her fingernails have pierced the skin on my shoulders and she’s shaking, gasping out my name.

  I pull her close, letting her collapse into me. She’s still working on regaining her breath, and I kiss her, stealing it again. Chloe presses her body against mine, all soft curves, big green eyes and heat and I decide we’ve gone slow enough for tonight.

  Chapter 13

  Chloe

  The residents of White Oak, New York have never been known for their reticence. Word spreads fast that Raif and I are dating. In days, I’m overwhelmed by abrupt silences when I walk into a room. Don’t they know how obvious that is? Do they not even care how rude they’re being? Why can’t they all just get a life and mind their own business? It’s hard for me to enjoy my happiness at knowing Raif shares my feelings when it seems like I’m exploring this new adventure while living under a microscope. Raif doesn’t seem to care one way or the other, but he doesn’t know what it’s like being Lilly May Morris’s daughter.

  He doesn’t know that I feel the judgmental eyes of town matrons on everything I do, waiting for me to falter. Waiting to see me mess up and bring more shame on my family’s name. Every day is a tightrope act for me as it is. He has never understood that pressure. And I don’t want him to, I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

  It’s not like we’ve shouted on street corners that we’re in love. But Raif kissing me in front of Hank Warner, the bored old gossip, was enough to set their tongues wagging. I haven’t seen Violet Montgomery yet to assess any damage I might have caused with her. I know that as Raif’s best friend, Vi loved me. She was supportive and motherly and plain old wonderful to me. But this is different. I’m the daughter of the town whore/drug addict. No woman wants their son to end up with someone with my family ties.

  “I can feel you stressing from here, Chloe Jane.” I startle at Raif’s voice. And then he’s wrapping his arms around me from behind, pulling me up against his chest. The skirt of my sundress swirls around both our legs as he envelops me in the warmth and comfort of his arms, the smell
of his cologne lightly scenting the air around us. He rests his chin on top of my head. “I’m telling you, everything is going to be fine.”

  My heart clenches in my chest, I hope he’s right. Today is Vi’s annual end-of-summer cook out. Our first real public appearance as a couple. His nonchalance is giving me a migraine, but to be fair, my overthinking is probably making him just as nuts. “I can’t help it.” I say, my eyes on the fruit salad I’m preparing to bring with us.

  Raif squeezes me closer, and I have a moment of disbelief that this is real. He loves me. We’re together. Could it really be that easy?

  “Darlin’, I know you think I don’t understand, but I do live here, too. And I do know my mom. She adores you. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Have you talked to her about us?”

  “Well. No. I didn’t think she’d want to hear about all the details.” His beard tickles my neck as he drops a soft kiss there.

  “Be serious, please?” I beg him while tilting my head and giving him better access to my ear. He hugs me tighter, kissing my cheek and resting his chin on my shoulder.

  “Honey, I am. Mom and I have talked about my love life exactly twice and that was only because she was worried about me. All Mom’s gonna care about is that we’re both happy.”

  “I hope you’re right.” I shudder, my stomach dipping unpleasantly at the thought of Violet’s wrath being directed at me. Or at Raif, because of me. Raif blows a raspberry on my neck and swats me on the behind.

  “Enough worrying, woman, let’s get going. I told Mom we’d help set up.”

  I laugh, smiling at him. He’s so free compared to a month ago. I did that, I realize. I make him happy.

  I square my shoulders and let the happiness fill me up, too, bolstering me for whatever might come next. I wrestle a sheet of plastic wrap over the bowl of fruit salad and deem it and myself ready to go. “You’re right.” He smiles at me, another wide smile that lights up his eyes. He kisses me sweetly. “All set,” I tell him, and I mean it now.

  “I’ll get this,” he offers, grabbing the heavy bowl before I can object. I allow the chivalry and grab my bag, slinging it over my shoulder, leading the way to my door.

  We take Raif’s Jeep even though Vi’s house is only a few blocks away. Definitely close enough that we could have walked. We probably would have if we hadn’t been bringing food and other supplies. When we arrive, we park down the block, so we won’t be boxed in by the other guests later. I knock on the front door and Daisy, Raif’s 18-year-old sister opens the door and squeals.

  “You’re here!” She bounces forward and grabs me in a bear hug, her blonde curls flying everywhere in her excitement. I hug her back, grinning happily.

  “We’re here,” I reply, rubbing her back. “How’ve you been, Daisy? It’s been too long since I saw you.”

  She pulls me inside, looping her arm around my waist and resting her head against mine, she’s about an inch taller than me but loves being cuddled. “I know! You are always working, Chloe, you need to take some time off and come visit. Mom and I both miss you.”

  I squeeze her against me and sigh. “I know, sugarplum, I miss you, too. But I have bills to pay, and I can’t let the Saloon fail. Merle would rise up from the grave to murder me.”

  Raif sighs dramatically. “I see I’m as invisible as always when you two get together.”

  “Hush, you. I’ll get to you in a minute,” Daisy says, leading us through the house. The rooms are as familiar to me as my own. “But Chloe, do you like ever stop and think about what you want? Or is it all just family duty and bills to pay?”

  I stiffen at her words. I know she’s not trying to upset me, but she’s right. I can’t remember the last time I really thought about what I want from life. I’ve been in survival mode for as long as I can remember.

  Raif chastises his sister. “Tact, Daise. Get some.” Immediately, I feel the younger girl tense under my arm.

  “I’m sorry, Chloe. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Daisy sounds like she might cry at her brother’s admonition.

  “No, it’s alright,” I insist. “It’s a valid question.”

  Raif looks saddened by my words, like maybe he didn’t realize my mindset. I force a smile and tell him. “I’m okay, cupcake.” I kiss Daisy’s cheek and ruffle her curls. “It’s fine.” I murmur to her softly when I note the tremble in her lips. She throws herself in my arms and hides her face in my neck just like when she was 6 and scraped her knee trying to climb a tree with her brother and me. I let her hide for a moment, knowing how she struggles with disappointing people. It sets off a chain reaction of panic and fear in her.

  I look at Raif and say, “Heya cupcake, how about you bring that fruit salad to the kitchen and let Vi know we’re here?” I know right now his sister needs a few moments of peace to breathe and get her bearings.

  He looks sad as he runs a hand over Daisy’s curls lovingly. Dropping a quick kiss on my mouth, he mouths the words, “Thank you.” He pulls back and speaks out loud this time. “Good idea, darlin’. I’ll see you ladies in the backyard in a few.”

  I wait until her brother is gone, and then kiss the top of Daisy’s curly head. “Deep breaths in and out, sweetheart.”

  She glances up at me, a crestfallen cherub, and frowns. “Is it true you and Raif are dating?” She’s flushed from her episode, her hands still trembling.

  I gnaw on my bottom lip, worried about how she’s going to take this news. “Is that okay with you?”

  A small eternity passes before she grins, more like herself. “Chloe, are you kidding? Of course it’s okay with me. You’re good for him. I’m just surprised. I always thought you and Luke...” She lets the sentence trail off when I shake my head.

  “No, Luke and I are better as friends.” I say, which is true. Daisy nods at my words looking thoughtful.

  “I guess you’re right. I mean, he would’ve made his move by now, right? If he was gonna, I mean.”

  “I’d think so, yes.” I say, trying to stop from rolling my eyes at her. It’s just so ludicrous to think that Luke would be carrying a torch for me after all this time.

  Daisy huffs at me. “I can tell you don’t believe me, just so you know.” She sounds miffed at me and I can’t hold back a laugh.

  “I’m sorry. I am, it’s just hard for me to imagine.” I hug her again.

  Clearly, I’m forgiven because she allows it. “That’s because you have no idea how awesome you are.”

  I shrug wordlessly and wait a beat. “How’re you doing?”

  “I’m fine now.” She sounds embarrassed, so I allow her to drop the subject.

  “Okay,” I keep my tone light. “Ready for some fun?”

  She nods, grinning at me again, and we link arms to go out to the backyard where classic rock music is already blaring from a stereo system. Vi is directing Raif on where to move one of the picnic tables. They already look to be arranged in my opinion. They’re in a sort of circle, so everyone can see everyone else. Vi is big on making sure everyone can talk and have fun together, so no one feels left out.

  “Raif, no, no, to the right, honey.” Violet says, arranging flowers in a vase on one of the tables. She’s the same height as Daisy, and she looks more like her older sister than her mother. Her hair is the same length and just a shade darker than Daisy’s. Right now, it’s twisted up and away from her tanned face. She’s a classic beauty, dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a pink tank top.

  Raif mumbles something incoherent but does as instructed. Daisy and I laugh and Vi looks up, her smile breaking across her face like a rainbow after a thunderstorm when she sees us. “There’s my two favorite women on the planet.”

  Relief floods my chest and I smile wider. “Right back atcha. How can we help?”

  “You can hug me, stranger.” Vi comes skipping over to us and grabs me up in a hug that could crack my ribs. I don’t mind. I hug her back just as hard. “I’m so happy you two have finally figured things out.” Vi sa
ys quietly and I feel tears prick at my eyes.

  “Me, too.” I murmur in response, trying to keep my emotions in check.

  She rubs my back and says, “This is how it should have been all along, sweet tart. I knew it in my gut. You brighten my boy.” Immensely relieved, I pull back from her and find Daisy looking very smug next to us.

  “Of course I heard.” She says before her mother can ask, and I laugh at her sassy attitude. Swiping at my eyes, I take a breath, let myself believe that everything really is going to be alright. Raif catches the motion and turns laser eyes on the three of us.

  “Okay, what are you two doing to my girl? No making her cry. I told her everything would be okay. Are you trying to make a liar out of me now?” He is at my side and running his thumbs over my cheeks to check for any lingering tears in a heartbeat. He leans down and kisses my mouth. “What’d they do, darlin’? You know I’d slay any dragon for you.”

  I smile up at him, overcome by how lucky I feel, how happy I am that he loves me, that I can have this. “They were happy tears, cupcake. Stow your sword and remember I’m no damsel in distress. I can slay dragons all on my own.”

  “Yes, I know you can.” He says, his deep, rich voice serious. “But you don’t have to, Chloe Jane. Never again.”

  Chapter 14

  Raif

  Chloe’s nervousness seems to have melted away with my mother’s hug. There’s no longer any tension in any part of her as she smiles and laughs with everyone. Currently she’s singing karaoke with my sister. Girl in a Country Song by Maddie and Tae. Daisy is tone deaf and could make dogs cry with her falsetto voice. Chloe, on the other hand, has a husky alto voice that belongs behind a microphone.