“I don’t want any guy. I want you.”
Leaning across the table, he takes my hand. “And I want you.”
“Okay,” I say after taking a deep breath. “We’ll try it.”
And just like that, a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Linus leaves Monday, just as we both knew he would. This time he kisses me goodbye.
Classes start, and somehow, I find a new normal. I don’t try out for cheerleading, which takes everyone by surprise, including myself. I still love the games, but because Harper and Brandon are back in school and Lauren hates sports, I usually end up going by myself.
With Lauren busy with work and Harrison, I’m alone more than I’m used to. Thankfully, Linus and I talk more than I thought we would, and with the webcams on our laptops, we’re able to study together in the evenings. Having a science and math nerd for a boyfriend has its perks, and I catch onto things far faster when he explains them to me.
All in all, the whole long distance thing isn’t as horrible as I thought it would be, though I still miss him. I’m counting down the days until the Thanksgiving break, which is only a few weeks away now.
It’s after five, and I’m just opening my books on the desk in my bedroom when my phone chimes with an incoming call. Expecting Linus, I answer without bothering to look at the number.
“Riley?”
“Zeke?” I haven’t heard from him in forever, and I figured he and Zoe finally worked things out.
Or, you know, killed each other. One of the two.
“Hey, I came back for the weekend, and the news around town is that Linus is transferring back east.”
“What?” I glance at my phone, startled. “No.”
“His mom was talking about it at the coffee shop this morning. He was accepted into some top-notch physics program…?”
“Probably chemistry,” I whisper, feeling ill. What’s Zeke talking about? And why didn’t Linus tell me himself?
“Whatever. Anyway, tell him congrats.”
“Sure.”
There’s a pause. “You okay, Riley?”
“Mmmhmm.” I shake my head, trying to snap out of my stunned silence. “I’m great. Thanks. Busy with school.” As an afterthought, I say, “How are you and…Zoe?”
“She’s a joy, as always.”
“Are you still together?”
“That depends on who you ask. I’m working on it.”
It’s nice to know that some things never change. Unlike other things. I glance at the picture of me and Linus that I transferred to my screen saver.
“I need to run, Riley,” Zeke says. “Take care of yourself.”
I mumble a goodbye and stare at my wall. Why hasn’t Linus told me?
Long distance is one thing when Linus can come home on all the holidays, but what if he’s all the way back east? That’s a lot more than a full day’s drive.
Knowing Linus will be calling soon, I get to work on my homework. When my phone finally rings, it’s twenty minutes later than he said. Is this how it starts? Is this the beginning of the end?
“Hey,” I answer.
I must sound off because he automatically says, “What’s wrong?”
I debate not telling him, seeing how long he’s going to keep it from me. But that’s not the way we work, and I’m not going to do that to him.
Even if he’s doing it to you, a little voice whispers in my head.
“I just got off the phone with Zeke.”
“I didn’t know you guys still talked.” He doesn’t sound jealous, just surprised.
I twirl a pen above my desk; it circles around and around in my fingers.
“We don’t. He called me out of the blue.” I wait for a moment. “He wanted to congratulate you on the prestigious chemistry program you were accepted to. The one back east?”
The line goes suspiciously silent.
“I guess I should congratulate you as well,” I murmur.
“It’s a year-long internship,” Linus says in a rush. “I haven’t decided whether I’m going to accept it or not.”
“Year-long…as in summer too?”
A long pause. “Yeah.”
“Where at?”
“Maryland.”
The pen falls from my fingers and clatters on the desk.
“Listen, Riley, I didn’t tell you because I don’t think I’m going—”
“You should,” I say, cutting him off. “It’s a great opportunity, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then do it.” I try to sound happy, like when I used to fake pep on particularly bad days I had to be perky to cheer.
Quietly, he says, “I’d have to leave in a week. I wouldn’t be home for Thanksgiving.”
A headache blooms behind my left eye, the kind that makes me think I’m going to have to lie down soon. “Oh.”
“And I don’t want to be that far from you. I don’t want to miss seeing you on my time off.”
I close my eyes and rub my temples. “That’s why this was a bad idea, Linus. You can’t be dragged down by me. You need to take this opportunity. Who knows if you’ll ever get another one.”
“I can’t do it, Riley. It’s too far.”
“Then I’ll make the decision for you.” I cover my face with my hand, hating myself, and make an impulsive decision. “This isn’t working. We said we’d try it, but I just can’t do it.”
“Riley—”
“No. I love you, Linus.” I hate that the first time I say it is over the phone. “But I’m done. Go to Maryland.”
He laughs, a low and disbelieving sound. “Come on, Riley—”
“I mean it—don’t think I don’t. We’re done.” I take a deep breath. “Goodbye, Linus.”
And I end the call before I change my mind. I sit here, numb. I know I did the right thing. I did it because I love him, because he deserves this. And he won’t do it with me in the way.
***
My phone rings for the millionth time, and my sister and Lauren look at it, matching concerned expressions on their faces.
“Will you please put that poor boy out of his misery?” Harper finally says on the second ring.
I silence the phone and go back to rolling out pie crust—Harper’s own recipe. She threw us all when she came home, declaring that she’s changed her major to culinary arts and is transferring to the local college the next semester.
When I push my phone farther away, my best friend and sister exchange a look. It’s been almost two weeks since I broke up with Linus. He’s still calling. I’m still not answering.
“Stop it,” I snarl. “Stop looking at me like I’m an abandoned puppy at the pound.”
“You weren’t exactly the one who was abandoned,” Harper mutters.
I scowl at my sister, intentionally holding up the rolling pin as I stare at her.
“Easy with that,” Lauren giggles, nervous, as she pulls my hand down. “We don’t want any blood in the pies.”
“I did it for him,” I say. Again. “Why doesn’t anyone see that?”
“Yes, you’re very noble. But what we see is you walking around like a zombie.” Harper, who’s elbow-deep in flour, blows her bangs out of her face. “Even if Linus decided to go to Maryland, you didn’t have to break up with him.”
I’ve thought about that, believe me. It keeps me up at night. But how can I date someone I’m not going to see again for another whole year?
Harper’s opening her mouth, about to bless me with more of her sisterly wisdom, when Brandon surprises us by walking into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear. He picks up Lauren in a bear hug. “Miss me?”
“Can’t breathe!” Laughing, Lauren playfully punches her brother in the stomach.
Just as Harper’s lining up for her welcome home hug—floury hands and all—she jerks her head toward the next room. I step around the counter to see what has her attention. A ridiculously pretty girl hovers between the living room
and kitchen, looking shy. Her hair is several shades of blond, ranging from honey to wheat, and it’s cut into crazy long, softly curled layers. She has the hugest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. She looks like Alice, and if it weren’t for her designer jeans, I would swear she just stumbled out of Wonderland.
She gives us a tentative smile, raising her French manicured hand in greeting.
Brandon lets Lauren go, takes the girl by the hand, and pulls her into the room. He turns to the girl, smiling like a besotted fool—the same way he used to smile at Harper. “Sadie, this is my sister, who you’ve heard all about, and these two are Riley and Harper, her friends.”
Harper’s eyes are huge, and her mouth hangs open in stupefied disbelief. When Brandon turns to her, she snaps her mouth shut and dons a big, fake smile. And just like that, she’s been reduced from the love of Brandon’s life to one of Lauren’s friends.
“Nice to meet you,” Sadie says in this sugar sweet voice. She takes Brandon’s hand. “I’ve heard so much about you all.”
“Sadie is going to spend Thanksgiving with us,” Brandon goes on to explain.
Lauren, who keeps peeking at Harper to see how she’s doing, wipes her hands off on a cloth. “So…are you two…?”
Brandon grins, wider this time if possible. “Sadie is my girlfriend.”
Harper makes a choking noise, which she quickly covers up with the fakest sneeze/cough you’ve ever heard. Brandon gives her a quizzical look, but my sister goes back to our project.
“I’m going to take Sadie to meet the guys,” Brandon says, his eyes still lingering on Harper. After a few moments, he shakes his head, obviously pushing whatever he was thinking aside, and escorts his new girlfriend out of the kitchen.
Once the pair is through the French doors that lead to the back, I turn to Harper and give her a pointed look. “Guess you’re not in the position to be giving me relationship advice, huh?”
Lauren jumps between us, knowing a sisterly cat fight is about to break out. “Who wants to start on the pumpkin roll?”
“Pumpkin roll?” Lauren’s dad says, walking in at just the right minute.
Harper glares at me but steps back. As Lauren and I greet Mr. Alderman, Harper returns her attention to her baking. She steadies herself on the counter. When she doesn’t think we’re looking, she draws in a long, shaky breath. She looks like she took a punch to the gut. I’m hit with a pang of guilt. I knew Harper would be jealous. I had no idea she’d be, well, devastated.
My older sister looks dazed and confused, and I can only shake my head. Surely, she had to see this coming. Did she expect Brandon to wait for her forever?
“Riley’s making nutmeg crust for the pies,” Lauren tells her dad, beaming. “Harper’s working on her rosemary rolls, which will be all ready to bake tomorrow, and I’ve just finished the filling for the pumpkin pie.”
“Looks like you have everything covered,” Mr. Alderman says as he checks the pantry that Lauren’s mom keeps ridiculously well-stocked. He finds a bag of cookies and takes several before he puts it back.
Like most years, my family is doing Thanksgiving at Lauren’s house. Lauren, Harper and I have always gotten together to make pies the day before the big Thursday, except for last year when Harper didn’t travel back from Texas for the short holiday.
Tomorrow Mrs. Alderman won’t even let us near the kitchen. Where my mom and aunt are cooking inept, Lauren’s mom is a domestic wonder. Half the meals I ate in high school were in their dining room.
Tonight, we’ll all go out to dinner, as is also tradition—which is good because the kitchen is a wreck. Mrs. Alderman will have heart failure when she gets home.
Lauren’s just sliding the pumpkin pie into the oven when a truck rumbles down the gravel, on its way to the guest house that Harrison rents from Lauren’s parents. Lauren tosses her oven mitts aside, gives me a look warning me not to kill my sister in her absence, and scampers out the back door to greet her boyfriend.
Harper watches Lauren toss her arms around Harrison’s neck, and she looks as cynical and jaded as I feel.
“I don’t think she’s really blond,” Harper mutters when Mr. Alderman leaves the kitchen.
“Lauren?” I ask, surprised.
Harper rolls her eyes. “No. Sadie.”
I watch her, not sure what to say. There were so many subtle highlights and lowlights in that girl’s hair, there’s no way all of it’s natural.
“Saaaadie.” Harper pronounces the name slowly as if testing it. Suddenly looking up, she asks, “Isn’t that the most popular female dog name in the US?”
With my hand hovering over the pecan pie filling, a pecan half poised in my fingers, I meet my sister’s eyes. “You know, I think I remember reading that it’s in the top ten.”
Satisfied, Harper goes back to her project, and I go back to mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“Riley, will you scoot the mashed potatoes down?” Lauren’s mom asks me, and then she frowns at the crowded settings. “Maybe we should have done it buffet-style this year?”
With Harrison, Sadie, Harrison’s grandparents, and Lauren’s boss and her husband, there are more of us than there have ever been at this table for Thanksgiving. After several moments, Mrs. Alderman decides we should clear all her autumn decor from the seldom-used buffet on the side wall of the dining room. Lauren and I tuck the decor carefully on an unused portion of the counter in the kitchen (which was no easy task to find, trust me), and then we transfer the platters and serving dishes. Lauren, of course, must place everything just so, especially with Carla here.
I’m just setting down the decorative cut-glass bowl of Mrs. Alderman’s homemade cranberry chutney when the doorbell rings. We all look at each other, confused, wondering who in the world could be at the door. Everyone is here.
Harrison excuses himself to check on it, and the rest of us sit, praising Mrs. Alderman on the meal, as always. When Harrison comes back, he’s not alone.
I go completely still, and my heart feels as if it stops from shock.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Linus says, looking acutely uncomfortable. “This is bad timing, but I was hoping to talk to Riley. I can come back.”
“There’s plenty of food,” Lauren’s dad says, already standing to find another chair even though he’s never met Linus. He might be protective of Lauren, but he’s one of the most giving people I know—which is the reason I was allowed here as much as I was growing up. “Take a seat.”
“Oh, I couldn’t…” Linus looks like he wants to crawl under the table.
The Linus I know would never, ever interrupt a family holiday meal. Unless he was desperate.
My heart, suddenly deciding it will beat again, skitters and then begins to race. I gulp and look at the cloth napkin in my lap.
I catch Harper and Lauren exchange gleeful smirks. Brandon raises his eyebrows, looking like he’s holding back a laugh. He probably loves how uncomfortable this is for me. I glare at him, but he only toasts me with the wine glass he’s filled with his beloved soda. Sadie smiles but looks confused…sort of like she fell down a rabbit hole.
Despite his polite protests, Linus is ushered into a seat right next to me. It’s a tight fit for all of us, even with all the table leaves, and we’re squished together. Linus’s leg bumps mine, and he smells faintly of that sports aftershave he always wears. I hold my breath, trying to resist breathing him in—trying to resist pouncing on him in front of all my family and closest friends.
We say grace, and then everyone rises to fill their plates. Linus doesn’t stand, and neither do I.
“Hi,” he says quietly, not looking at me.
“Hi.”
“I, uh…” He clears his throat. “I didn’t mean to barge in here like this.”
“No one minds,” I assure him quietly. “Just stay clear of the green beans. Harper added pearl onions to them this year, and they don’t smell natural.”
Linus snorts and then looks chagrined. “Can we go somew
here to talk?”
I finally meet his eyes. At the buffet, Brandon is demanding to know why there is no white gravy this year and the twins argue over the drumsticks. “Yeah.”
We slip into the next room and then step out the front door. The day is cold but sunny, the perfect boot, scarf, and sweater weather.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in Maryland?” I say after several awkward moments. “I mean, what are you doing—”
And just like that, Linus kisses me. I freeze, startled. His lips are warm and familiar, and they smell like honey lip balm and mint. It takes me several seconds for my brain to catch up. Just when I’m about to melt into him, he pulls back and asks, “Are you in Maryland?”
I don’t realize I’m fidgeting until Linus tentatively slides his hand over mine and traces my fingers, like he’s done so many times in the past.
I stare at our hands. “No.”
“Then I’m not supposed to be there.” He says it like he’s completely sincere, like he doesn’t have the slightest doubt.
“But even you said it was an amazing opportun—”
He squeezes my hand. “And I’ll find another amazing internship, one that’s closer to home…maybe one that focuses a little more on teaching.” People are bound to notice we’re gone, but Linus doesn’t seem to care. “I’m not going any farther than Colorado.” He pins me with his gaze. “Ten hours is hard enough.”
“Are you sure?” I whisper. My eyes begin to sting, and I blink several times to chase away the tears.
Linus leans close like he’s going to tell me a secret. “As sure as I am that I shouldn’t eat the green beans.”
I let out a watery laugh and tug him toward me. He lifts me up, kissing me so soundly and so completely that I actually sigh against his lips.
And then Brandon yanks the door open. “For the love of—there’s food in here, people. Come eat before it gets cold.”
“We’ll be right in.” I nestle my forehead against Linus’s neck. “Now go away or I’ll never buy you donuts again.”
Brandon holds his hands up in the air in a mock surrender, and then he winks at me as he disappears back inside.
Shine and Shimmer (Glitter and Sparkle #2) Page 17
