The Great Kitten Cake Off

by Anna Wilson

  We groaned.

  He had lined up the ingredients I needed for a Victoria Sponge. I thanked him and got going with weighing the eggs as I had before. Then I measured out the flour, butter and sugar.

  ‘There you go,’ said Sid. ‘You just needed to get started. Now it’s all flooding back, isn’t it?’

  ‘It’s rather like when we forget our lines for the start of the show,’ said Sam. ‘Sometimes all it takes is for someone to prompt us with one or two words, and then we find we remember everything in a rush.’

  I smiled gratefully. ‘Thanks, I think I’ll be OK now.’

  Really I was still feeling daunted by the task that lay ahead. What if I couldn’t remember how to cut up the cakes to make the shape I needed? What if the whole thing looked a mess and didn’t work? Ted would be embarrassed to admit he had ever helped me. Georgie would revel in my failure forever. Charlie would never let me forget it: now that he had his website up and running, he already thought he was the bee’s knees. If I failed on TV, I would never live it down.

  I made myself think about the design I wanted to end up with.

  ‘Can I have some more paper?’ I asked, once the sponges were in the oven.

  Sam went and fetched some for me and I found the pen Ted had put in one of the bags.

  ‘Boy, you are relaxed,’ Sam teased, watching me scribble away. ‘Look at this, Sid!’ he called out. ‘This girl is so chilled she’s doing a spot of doodling while she waits for her cake to cook!’

  I caught Georgie from the corner of my eye – she was giving me a particularly sly smile.

  ‘I – I’m tweaking my pattern for my cake, that’s all,’ I said.

  ‘Show your sketches to the camera!’ Sid urged. ‘Let’s see what you’re planning.’

  ‘No,’ I said, covering the page with my hand. ‘I told you – I want to keep it as a surprise.’

  Georgie flashed me a look as if to say, ‘Yeah, right – you have no chance.’

  That did it. I knew she had taken my crib sheet. I went hot with anger at the thought of her doing this to me, especially after I had tried so hard to be nice. I felt a surge of determination as I told myself I could do this. I could make a Show Piece to end all Show Pieces. I could win. All I had to do was concentrate.

  I felt calmer once I had an image on the page. Drawing always does this to me: I almost go into a trance when I get into the flow. I was focused now. I was on a roll. Nothing could stop me.

  Ping! The timer went off and the sponges were ready. I got them out to cool and started rolling out the black-and-white icing, checking my sketch every so often to remind myself what I was aiming for.

  Once the cakes were cool, I cut a circle out of the middle of the larger round cake. Next, I carved the smaller cake into the shape I needed. I mixed up some butter icing to use as a kind of glue and spread it thinly over the carved cakes. Then I transferred the rolled-out white fondant icing on to the cakes, smoothing it with my hands.

  Finally I cut out the right size of black, pink and blue fondant icing shapes and then with a toothpick I drew in the final details. I used a small clean paintbrush with a bit of water to make the fondant gummy where I needed to stick one colour of icing on to another. For the last few details I used a regular paintbrush dipped into a food-colouring mix to paint on some decorations.

  ‘When you paint on top of fondant icing,’ Ted had told me, ‘you need to add lemon juice to your food colouring instead of water. This won’t disintegrate the fondant and the lemon juice just evaporates away, so you get a brighter colour.’

  How he had picked up all this information I do not know, but every single one of his tips had worked out so far.

  ‘Five minutes left!’ Sam suddenly called out. ‘Five minutes!’

  My heart started pounding again.

  Five minutes to make sure my cake was perfect and securely placed on the presentation plate.

  I was racing against the clock now. I realized with a jolt that I hadn’t even taken a look at the others’ cakes. I had been concentrating so hard; I had been in a world of my own.

  ‘Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one – step away from the cakes, please. Step away, Georgie! That’s it,’ Sam demanded.

  I quickly threw a clean tea towel over my cake to keep it a secret until I had to reveal it to the judges. I stole a quick look at what the other two had done.

  Georgie curled her lip at me and stepped back with a dramatic gesture towards her cake. ‘Ta-daaah!’ she announced.

  I gasped. There was no way I could compete with what she had created. I glanced quickly at Ravi’s. He smiled shyly, but his cake looked amazing as well.

  I prayed and prayed that I had remembered the recipe properly, if only to get back at Georgie.

  ‘Now for the moment we have all been waiting for!’ said Sam. He bounced up and down on his toes. ‘I’m so excited, I can’t tell you,’ he cooed. ‘We have had to keep this a secret for so long, but finally—’

  ‘You know what?’ said Sid, butting in, much to Sam’s obvious annoyance. ‘Seeing as this is a special Cake Off, for charity and all that, why don’t we get the contestants’ families and friends into the Tepee to share this magic moment?’

  ‘What a lovely idea,’ said Milly.

  Pete did not look as though he agreed, but Sid jumped in quickly and said, ‘Great! I’ll go and get them, and Sam can bring in our mystery star guest once everyone is here.’

  This was prolonging the agony as far as I was concerned. Why could they not get on with the judging and let us all go home?

  I held my breath as Mum, Dad, Charlie, Ted, Mads, and Georgie and Ted’s parents shuffled into the Tepee with Ravi’s family close behind.

  They were all grinning and looking about as uncomfortable as if they were about to be asked to bake a Show Piece themselves.

  ‘OK, huddle up, huddle up,’ said Sid. ‘Imaginary drum-roll please! Let’s hear it for our wonderful star judge . . . IT’S . . . LARRY FILES, FROM THE WORLD-FAMOUS BAND, WRONG DIRECTION!’ He whooped and clapped like crazy, while Mads screamed and Georgie looked as though all her Christmases had come at once. Ted’s eyes were wide with surprise and Charlie was struggling with his camera case, while Mum fought to make him keep still.

  Larry sauntered into the Tepee and flashed a very white-toothed smile from under his trademark floppy fringe. ‘Hi, guys.’

  ‘Hey, Larry!’ said Sid. ‘Welcome to this episode of the SportsFundUK Charity Cake Off – and thanks so much for taking time out from your busy schedule to judge the Show Pieces. I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say how excited we are that you’re here.’

  I caught Mads’s eye and she grinned at me and held her hands to her chest and mouthed: I am in love! I rolled my eyes, but felt a warm glow at seeing Mads looking so happy for a change.

  Maybe things would be OK after all this was over.

  ‘Can we get on with the judging now?’ Pete asked grumpily.

  ‘Absolutely, man,’ said Larry. ‘I can’t wait to dive into some cake.’ He rubbed his stomach and grinned.

  ‘Let’s look at Ravi’s first,’ said Milly. It really does look incredible.’

  Ravi’s cake was made to look like the planet Saturn with the rings and everything! He had covered it in a swirly mix of different-coloured icing, and when Pete cut into it, the inside of the cake was multicoloured too.

  I am well and truly finished, I thought as I took in Milly’s beaming face, and Larry’s appreciative expression. Even Pete looked a little impressed. (He had stopped frowning, anyway.)

  ‘What an ambitious project!’ said Milly, as she cut through the sphere. ‘I love the way the cake is striped inside. Very clever.’

  Ravi was looking pleased with himself – until Pete bit into the cake and pulled a face. ‘What is this flavoured with?’ he asked.

  Ravi’s smiled faltered. ‘I – I thought orange would be a good flavour as I’ve put chocolate icing through the middle. Orange and choco
late go well together—’

  Pete snorted. ‘I would suggest you use orange juice and zest next time, instead of a synthetic flavouring. This is too overpowering.’

  Milly looked at Ravi sympathetically. ‘It is a stunning cake, though, Pete,’ she said.

  ‘I am not interested in Style Over Substance, Milly. You know that,’ Pete retorted.

  I bit my lip as I thought of Charlie saying the same thing to me, and tried hard not to look at my little brother, who was grinning from ear to sticky-out ear.

  Larry took a chunk of Ravi’s cake and chewed thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, it is kind of a bit too orangey,’ he said. ‘Sorry, man.’

  Ravi nodded sadly and the judges moved on to Georgie next.

  Georgie’s cake was unbelievable. I had no idea how Mads could have come up with such an amazing design. It was a Barbie Princess cake: a real Barbie doll was standing up in a cake that had been shaped to look like a princess’s gown, and Georgie had decorated it with glitter and hearts and flowers.

  I closed my eyes for a second and fought to keep the tears back. This was it, I knew it. Georgie was going to win. Mads would be able to say that she and Georgie were the Dream Team, and I would have lost my best mate forever.

  I heard a gasp from everyone in the Tepee and snapped my eyes open.

  Milly had been about to cut into Georgie’s cake – the knife was still poised mid-air – when the plastic doll lurched to one side. The decorations were sliding off the fondant icing so it looked as though Barbie was about to lose her skirt too. The next thing I knew, Barbie had fallen to one side with a sticky flop, causing the whole cake to collapse. Georgie let out a howl of anguish as Larry Files said with a snigger, ‘Looks like Barbie’s been partying a bit too hard!’

  ‘Yes,’ Pete agreed. ‘She looks wiped out.’

  Georgie sobbed, while Sid and Sam put their arms around her.

  Milly frowned at Pete and Larry. ‘Let’s see what it tastes like. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, after all.’ She cut into what remained of the skirt. ‘Ah,’ she said, as the rest of the structure collapsed. ‘It is, erm, a little bit underbaked.’ She pointed to the raw, squishy cake inside. ‘Next time you do need to think about making sure that the structure of the cake is firm enough to cope with holding up the doll, dear,’ she said gently.

  ‘This is your fault!’ Georgie growled, turning on Mads. ‘But then, you never really wanted me to win, did you? I should have known. This was all a plot to make sure that your pathetic little BFF over there would win instead, wasn’t it?’ She pointed at me.

  Mads’s face was as white as the roll-on icing on Barbie’s skirt. ‘I never – I don’t know what you mean!’ she protested.

  Everyone in the Tepee started talking at once.

  ‘I don’t think that’s very nice of you . . .’ Mum piped up.

  ‘Wow, a fight on The Cake Off!’ cried Charlie. ‘I need to get this on film . . .’

  ‘Hey, guys, chill,’ said Larry. He stepped in between Mads and Georgie and slung his arm around Mads’s shoulders. She went from white to bright red. ‘I think you had better leave this poor chick alone,’ Larry said, glaring at Georgie.

  ‘But she—’

  ‘OK, OK, that’s enough!’ Pete said, raising his voice above the commotion. ‘Everyone be quiet, please.’

  Georgie tossed her hair. ‘This whole thing is a set-up!’ she shouted. Then she turned and stormed out of the Tepee, her parents, clearly upset too, running behind her.

  Ted watched them go and then fixed his eyes to the ground. I couldn’t get him to look at me. What was he thinking?

  Pete waited for the hubbub to calm down. ‘We haven’t seen the last cake yet,’ he went on. ‘Ellie has been waiting very patiently. Let’s take a look at her Show Piece.’

  ‘Too right, Pete,’ said Sam. ‘The show must go on.’

  ‘Okaaay . . .’ I unveiled the cake, drawing back the tea towel very carefully, praying that everything had stayed together.

  There was a whoop from Sam and a round of applause from Sid.

  ‘Awesome!’ said Larry.

  Then everyone joined in the clapping and cheering. I blushed.

  ‘Intriguing!’ said Milly. ‘A tiered cake, iced and painted to look like a basket . . . with something struggling to get out, I think. May I?’ she pointed at the basket lid.

  I nodded.

  She gently lifted the lid and everyone gasped.

  ‘How cute is that!’ cried Larry. ‘A kitten in a basket – and all made of cake.’

  ‘What on earth made you think of doing that?’ asked Milly.

  ‘Well, my own kitten . . . he’s kind of food-obsessed,’ I said shyly.

  ‘He is!’ said Charlie. ‘You should take a look at the films on my website—’

  ‘Charlie,’ said Dad. ‘Not now.’

  I smiled at Dad gratefully and carried on. ‘When I was practising before coming on The Cake Off, my cat got into a Pavlova I had made and—’

  ‘Sorry?’ said Sam. ‘You’ll have to run that past me again – your cat GOT INTO a Pavlova?’

  ‘Er, yes,’ I said. I was really embarrassed now. I wished the judges would hurry up and taste the thing. Pete’s expression was not encouraging;if anything he looked reluctant to taste the cake at all.

  ‘If the cake tastes as spectacular as it looks,’ said Milly, ‘I think we are in for a treat.’

  ‘Let’s hope it doesn’t taste as cat-astrophicasit looks,’ said Pete.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Larry. ‘I’m feline quite tempted.’ He chuckled while everyone groaned.

  ‘Purrrrrr-leese, leave the jokes to us, guys!’ said Sid.

  Milly tutted. ‘Let’s get back to the matter in hand, shall we?’ she said.

  She brought the knife down right through the centre of the cake and pulled out a huge slice so that she and Pete could inspect the ‘crumb’ and the ‘bake’. Pete peered at it, poked it and prodded it and finally pronounced, ‘So far, so good.’

  The three judges each broke off a piece and took a bite.

  ‘Mmmm!’ Milly licked her lips appreciatively. ‘So light! So fluffy! And what a delicious vanilla flavour to the butter icing.’

  Pete was nodding. ‘Not bad,’ he said.

  ‘Now that is high praise indeed!’ said Sid.

  ‘Lush,’ said Larry. ‘You can come and bake for me any time!’

  Mads was jumping up and down, giving me the thumbs-up.

  ‘I think we know who the Top Baker is, don’t we?’ said Pete.

  Milly nodded. ‘I think so. But we’ll need to confer first. Larry, come with us.’

  The three judges went out of the Tepee while a buzz of excited conversation started up among the families and friends on the sidelines.

  The judges seemed to take forever.

  I was sure that Pete had not been convinced by my Show Piece. I probably shouldn’t have told everyone that it had been inspired by Kitkat jumping into a real cake. Then again, I was pretty sure Milly had meant it when she said it was ‘spectacular’.

  As the minutes ticked away, I was beginning to think Ravi would get Top Baker after all. Pete had been a bit rude about the flavouring in his planet cake, but Ravi had used so many more technical tricks than I had. I had simply made a couple of sponges and then iced them cleverly. What if he thought I had committed that sin above all sins: Style Over Substance?

  Finally Milly, Pete and Larry came back in and beckoned to Sid and Sam to join them. There was a quick whispered exchange.

  Sid turned to face the camera. ‘OK, Larry is going to do the honours.’

  Larry stepped forward. ‘Thanks for having me on the show, guys,’ he said. ‘It has been wicked. So, the judges have conferred, and . . . I am really happy to be able to announce that . . .’ He grinned and said to the camera, ‘This is like X Factor all over again!’

  Everyone laughed.

  Larry went on. ‘The Top Baker of The Great Junior Cake Off for the South-West reg
ion, is . . .’ He paused again.

  I closed my eyes and prayed that he would get on with it and that I would not cry, whether I won or lost. If I lost, that was tough, but at least I had made it on to the show and I had done my best. No one could say that I hadn’t tried . . .

  ‘. . . Ellie Haines!’

  I opened my eyes. ‘What?’ I cried.

  ‘Yes, you, madam!’ said Sam. ‘Come on, group snuggle!’ Then he and Sid enveloped me in a massive bear hug. ‘The cameras have stopped rolling now,’ Sam whispered in my ear. ‘It’s all over – well done!’

  ‘Well done, dear,’ said Milly, coming over to shake my hand. ‘I thought it was inspired of you to take something which had been a disaster in your practice and turn it into such a success.’

  ‘I told you!’ Charlie shouted.

  Larry put one arm around me and placed the coveted Cake Off giant silver egg whisk in my hand. ‘You’re a star,’ he said. ‘Can I have your autograph?’

  I giggled. ‘Only if you sign one of yours for my best mate over there,’ I said, nodding to Mads.

  Larry grinned at Mads. ‘I think I can manage that,’ he said. ‘I’ve got another prize for you, as it happens. Something you can share with your friend.’ He fished in his pocket and brought out some pieces of paper. ‘Two tickets to our next gig,’ he said. ‘And backstage passes so you can meet the rest of the band.’

  Mads squealed and clapped her hands.

  Pete came to shake my hand as well. ‘You can really bake, young lady,’ he said. Then he actually smiled!

  Mads rushed to hug me while everyone else crowded around my Show Piece. ‘I knew you could do it. And I’m sorry I let you down,’ she whispered in my ear.

  ‘It’s OK.’ I said. ‘Really. Do you think . . . I mean . . . could we be mates again?’

  ‘Best mates,’ Mads said, squeezing me tight. ‘I’ve missed you so much, Ellie. I’ve been such an idiot!’ She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. I thought she might be about to cry.

  ‘Don’t you start!’ I laughed. ‘You’ll set me off.’ I hugged her again. A huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. ‘Go and get that autograph then,’ I said. I gave her a push towards Larry, who was talking to Mum and Dad. ‘And please don’t let Dad tell Larry any awful jokes!’