Saving Forever (The Ever Trilogy: Book 3)

by Jasinda Wilder

  I tilted my face up to look into his eyes. “I wanted to do something for you. I knew you were doing something ridiculously romantic, and I couldn’t just show up in jeans and T-shirt, no makeup, hair a mess. I wanted to look at least a little sexy for you.”

  Carter literally growled. His hands floated over my ribs, just beneath my bra. Slid down my sides. Around to my back, up over my shoulders, down my arms, exploring my skin. Down to my hips, over the lace to my ass. He cupped my backside, pulled me to him. “‘A little sexy.’” He repeated my words as if reciting something absurd. “Eden, baby. You…you take my breath away. From the first time I saw you on the beach, you’ve taken my breath away. Like this? In that fucking amazing lingerie, with your hair like that and your eyes all smoky? Jesus, Eden. I could die now a happy man, just having gotten to see you like this.”

  “Don’t die yet, though,” I said, unable to stop the smile of flattered pleasure from curving my lips. “I have plans for you.”

  He murmured a rumble of interest. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

  I lifted up on my toes and just barely, oh-so-softly touched my lips to his. Tasted him, and spoke with our lips touching. “It starts with this.”

  He pushed down to deepen the kiss, and then wrapped his palm around my nape and simply and purely ravished my mouth with his. I moaned as he kissed the breath from me, kissed the sense from me.

  I summoned my thoughts, my intentions, the strength in my knees, and reached between us, flicked open the snap of his jeans. “It also includes this,” I whispered.

  “I like where this is going,” he said. “What else?”

  The zipper fell away easily, and he stepped out of the jeans. I didn’t even notice what he was wearing under them, other than that they were black and soft and tight. I couldn’t help stealing a roaming caress of his firm ass, and then ran my finger under the elastic of his underwear. “This.” I kissed him, pulled away. “And this.” I stroked him over the fabric of his underwear, and inhaled at the size of him.

  “Jesus, Eden. Too much of that, and I’ll embarrass myself.”

  I stroked him again, unable to resist. “It wouldn’t be an embarrassment. It’d be beautiful. And perfect. Anything we do will be.”

  “True. But I want to feel you around me when that happens.” He pulled away from me, just slightly. “I need to see you. All of you. Feel you. Touch you. Kiss you all over. Show you what real love feels like.”

  I felt my throat go thick and tight and hot at those words. “I need that, too. Please?”

  He nuzzled his nose against my throat, and his hands traced the lace of my underwear. “Then let’s get rid of these, as sexy as they are. I want what’s beneath them.”

  He pressed his fingers to my flesh and slid the lace away with a long, slow caress down the sides of my legs, dipping at his knees to kiss down my chest. My head fell back as his lips found the swell of my breasts, and I could only hold onto his shoulders as he let my underwear fall to the floor. His hand lifted my foot, and I stepped free of them, kicking them aside. Never in my life had I felt so vulnerable being naked with a man, so bare. I let my hands fall to my sides as he searched the strap of my bra for the clasps.

  “Front…” I murmured.

  His eyes went from mine to my boobs, fixed on the front-clasp. His hands trembled as he freed the hook from the eye. I shut my eyes briefly as he brushed the straps off, and tried to swallow past the nerves as the undergarment fell away, into his hands. He set it aside, gently tossing it the floor. I fought the urge to cross my arms over my breasts, and failed.

  He didn’t say anything, though. He threaded his fingers through mine, brought my hands to his waist. The feel of his warm skin under my hands lit a fire inside me, a gentle flame that burned away some of my nerves. I was hot and cold, I knew, and I had to be confusing him. One second I was talking boldly and touching him, the next I was covering myself and acting like a fainting virgin.

  “I’m sorry I’m so nervous all of a sudden,” I said. “This just…it feels different.”

  “For me, too.” He held up his hand between us so I could see the faint tremor. “See?”

  I took his hand and kissed his palm, nudged into his touch. His eyes closed as I kissed his hand again, and then leaned in to taste his mouth. The kiss blossomed, swiftly turning to hungry devouring starvation. It was exactly what I needed, to forget my nerves at being naked with him. I wanted to be bare with him, to feel him. My nerves were over silly things, things I knew he didn’t care about. I was being silly, and I knew it.

  The kiss unfurled, and this time neither of us would stop it. I felt his hand slide down my bare back, and I felt him groan in his chest as he caressed my ass, cupping and kneading, exploring both cheeks and my thighs just below, up to my back and to my hips, touching me all over, kissing me until I was lost in the taste of his mouth and the stroke of his tongue against mine.

  I sought his skin with my hands, tracing the muscles of his shoulders, the strong straight line of his spine, and I didn’t deny myself the pleasure of tugging his underwear over his erection and letting it fall to the ground. I didn’t take him in my hand yet, though, no, not yet. I pressed our bodies together, murmuring a moan as the hard hot thickness of his cock pressed against my torso. Instead, I lifted up on my toes to bring the kiss to him, cupping the cool firmness of his taut backside, exploring and caressing. At that moment, he was mine.

  God, god, the way our bodies fit together was magic, pure fantasy. And we were still standing up together, as yet unconnected in that most intimate way.

  Now, finally, I slid my palm between our tight-pressed bodies. Carter widened the space between us, allowed me room. The kiss ended, and he stared down at me as I slowly curled my fist around his cock. He sighed and groaned as my fingers sheathed his thick length.

  I pulled my eyes from his to look at him. “God, Carter.” I glanced back up at him, my heart pattering. I slid my fist down, and back up. “Goddamn.”

  He was actually blushing. “What?”

  I stroked him again, slowly, an intentional gesture. “All this.” I smiled up at him, bit my lip. “Take to me bed. Please?”

  He bent and took me in his arms, my head on his shoulder and my legs draping down over his arm. He set me on the side of the bed, leaned down and kissed me, and then stepped away.

  “Let me look at you first. Can I?”

  I summoned all my courage, all my desire to please him. I shifted to the center of the bed, drew up one knee, laid one arm over my head, on the pillows, the other resting on my hip. I turned slightly toward him, letting him see me. All of me. Stretch marks and all.

  My own eyes weren’t idle while he perused my body. He was glorious. There was no other word. In swim trunks he was sexy and handsome. Naked? Stunning. His muscles were cut into his body as if by a sculptor’s blade, and his cock stood huge and long and straight against his belly, straining, bobbing as he breathed. I lay still for him, my breath coming hard and deep.

  “Eden, god. Do you know what you look like?”

  I shook my head. “Just…like me?”

  “Like…” He shook his head, rested his knee on the bed beside me. “I don’t have the words. I can’t even make sense. That’s how gorgeous you are. So sexy you’ve taken my words and my ability to think straight.”

  “Keep talking like that, I might just eventually believe you.” I reached up to touch his cheek. “Especially when you look at me like that.”

  He smiled at me, nudging into my hand. I loved how he did that, as if my touch was the sweetest thing.

  Carter eased onto the bed beside me, my palm on his face, and he leaned into me, slowly, kissed me as he had the very first time, with tenderness and exquisite thoroughness. I heard harmony in the distance, music soft and faint and providing a touch of mood. His body was long and lean beside me, his flesh hot, his hands rough-callused and roaming my body. He touched my ribs, my hips, my thighs. I sighed into his kiss as his hand moved up to cup my
breast. Our foreheads touched as he watched his hand caress my breasts with reverence. One, and then the other. Exploring their fullness, thumb brushing across my nipple, tracing the undersides.

  “God, Ever. You have the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen.”

  I could only grin. “I’m glad you like them.”

  “I want—”

  “Don’t tell me,” I cut him off, “Show me.”

  He cupped one of my boobs and slid down to kiss the sloped mound of skin, his lips nearing my areolae. “I love this.” He traced a finger around the dark circle. “And I really love this.” He took my thick, erect, sensitive nipple between his finger and thumb. “I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit wanting to do this. Wondering what your tits looked like bare for me.”

  “Do they live up to the expectation?”

  “More. Fuck, so much more.” He flicked a nipple with his tongue.

  “So much more,” I said, reaching down to grasp his thick cock in my fist. “That’s exactly how I feel. You might have to go slow at first. I’m not sure I can take all this.” I stroked his length as emphasis… and just because I loved stroking him. Feeling the ridges and ripples of his veins, feeling the soft springiness of the broad head, the rough curl of hair at the base. I delicately cupped his balls, explored them as well, and then back up. “I could touch you for hours and not get enough.”

  He huffed a laugh. “I’d be fine with that.”

  “But not tonight. I need to feel you inside me.”

  Carter’s lips left my boobs, and he gazed at me. “I’m not done looking at you yet.”

  I frowned. “You’ve seen all there is to see, I’m pretty sure.”

  “Not quite yet.” He traced his fingers down my thigh to my knee, pressed my knee to one side.

  Oh. He wanted to see all of me. Even that? I couldn’t be that pretty, I didn’t think. I’d done stretches and muscle flexes and all the things I could think of to get my girly bits tight again, but I wasn’t too sure I’d been as successful as I’d like. God. Oh, god. I couldn’t deny him, wouldn’t. So I let my leg fall aside, slid my heel away. Parted my legs for him, so he could see what there was to see.

  I opened my mouth to say I wasn’t sure what, but he shook his head. “I know you’re going to say something about how you don’t look how you used to, or how you’d like to. Save it, sweetness. I know you’re self-conscious. And I know how much courage it took to let me look at you like this. So…thank you. Now just let me show you how beautiful you are to me.”

  He kissed my thigh, farther in. I grabbed his head, threaded my fingers into his hair. “Please, Carter. Not yet. Not that, not yet.” I was close to tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just…not yet.”

  He slid up my body and cupped my face, kissed me until I forgot what I was upset about. His hand caressed my ribs, my tits, brought the fire of need burning hot with gentle, insistent thrumming of my nipples. Heat built between my legs, pressure building in my core as his mouth plundered mine and his hands paid homage to my breasts.

  I threaded my fingers through his and dragged our hands together down my body, between my thighs, and I delved our joined fingers into my cleft. He gasped into the kiss and leaned away to watch. His fingers curled into me, and I withdrew my hand, lifted my hips up into his touch in a silent urging. I wanted him, needed him. Needed this. His touch. Him, inside me. I needed to feel him explode in me. Needed to come apart around him. But it all started with his touch, there, on my aching clit.

  He didn’t hesitate. He circled my erect, sensitive nub, gave it slight and gentle flicks with his finger, delved in deep to search inside me, two fingers sweeping in, curling, finding that place that made me arch and ache and whimper, and he rubbed his fingertip along it. Retreated, coated my clit with my own juices and rubbed me in slow circles. I moaned, lifted off the bed, into his hand.

  “God…Jesus fuck, Carter. You touch me perfectly. God, five seconds and I’m…oh, shit…I’m already close.”

  “Good,” he murmured. “I’ve been close since the moment you took my pants off and touched me.”

  I gripped him, matching the slow circles of my clit with long plunging strokes of his cock. He quickened his circles as I began to push into his touch, urging him, needing more. And he gave me more. So much more. He brought me there, never hurrying, never touching too hard. Just right. Exactly what I needed, how I needed it.

  I was on the edge, aching. But I stopped him. “You. I…I need you. I don’t want to come without you.”

  He hovered over me. “Before we…before we do this.” He leaned on his elbow, his face inches from mine. His eyes were sky-blue and impassioned. “I love you, Eden. I don’t want you to hear it from me after, or during. In the moment. I want you to hear it now.”

  “You always know what I need to hear.” I held onto his ass, just because I liked the way it felt. “How do you always know?”

  “I don’t. I just say what I need you to hear. So you know me.”

  “I know you.” I kissed him quickly, a swift peck, a flick of tongue. “I know you, and I love you.”

  He smiled, and bent down to kiss me, not as I had kissed him, quickly, but deeply, with ravening hunger. His knees went between mine, and I pulled him toward me by his butt. Dug my fingers into the muscle, my eyes closed, my mouth locked to his.

  But again, moments before I had him where I needed him, he paused. “Are you—”

  I interrupted him. “Yes. I’m protected.”

  “But we should use one anyway.”

  I groaned. “Yes. I don’t want to, though. I want to feel you bare.”

  “Me, too. But…”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  He slid off me, went into the bathroom, and rummaged in a cabinet under the sink. Brought out an unopened box of condoms. I watched him rip open a packet, and then took the rubber from him, met his eyes as I rolled it down around him. His jaw clenched, and his muscles tensed at my touch.

  I lay back on the pillows, reached for him. He settled over me, about to say something. I shushed him with two fingers over his mouth. “No more talking. Put your cock in me. Please, Carter. I need to feel you inside me. I’ll go crazy if I don’t get that right now.”

  One hand a fist beside my ear, the other cupping my hip, he slid against me. I reached between us, gripped his cock in my hand and brought his tip to the entrance of my pussy. Our eyes met, and I licked my lips, and then he shifted forward at the same time that I lifted up.

  Slowly, perfectly, he penetrated me. He slid deep. He filled me. I arched up and cried out, a wordless sound of raw pleasure. He buried his face in my tits and moaned, back arched and flattening as he glided into me until I was full of him and panting at the aching burn of the way he stretched me.

  I held him in place, needing a moment to get used to him. He waited, flush to me, breathing hard, muscles tensed. I had a feeling he needed a moment as much as I did.

  I held his head against my breast, pushed him slightly to the side, lifted my tit to his mouth. He gave me what I wanted, the wet pressure of his mouth, suckling hard. When the tugging heat was too much, I clawed my hand on his ass and pulled at him, wrapped my legs around him, and pulled.

  “Move with me, Carter.”

  He lifted up to meet my eyes. He pulled back and thrust deep, and I had to force my eyes open, needing to see his expression as he moved inside me. It wasn’t a rhythm we set, then, it was a mutual heartbeat. It was union. He thrust, and I met him, he pulled away, and I crushed against him. We gasped and we cried out each other’s names.

  He leaned in to kiss me, breathed. “Come with me, Eden. Come with me, love.”

  I clutched his shoulders with all my strength and whimpered. “Now. Now. Yes, Carter, now. Please come now.”

  Together, we shattered.

  THE END

  EPILOGUE

  CADEN

  the cadence of life

  Ever,

  It’s been over three years since I’
ve written you a letter. Three years. So much has happened in those years. The art gallery, Cadence turning two, Eden and Carter’s wedding. A thousand day-to-day memories. You, putting on that lotion. Cadence taking her first steps. Laughing as I swing her over my head. You and me, in our bed, in the starlight.

  I’ve drawn you so many times. You don’t even know. Someday I’ll show you my stash of 2 a.m. sketchpads. There’s a dozen of them, all full of you, naked in our bed. You have this thing you do. After we’ve made love and we fall asleep, you get hot. You kick off the blanket, and you put one leg under the sheet, the other above it. You lie on your stomach, one arm beneath the pillow, the other curled beside your cheek. I wake up to pee, and there you are. Like that, so, so beautiful. And I just have to draw you.

  It’s been three years, and I hope I’ve proved that I love you, and only you. But I need to keep proving it. I need the rest of our lives to prove it. To make sure, absolutely sure, that you know. Maybe by the time we’re ninety you’ll really understand how deeply and madly I love you. How thankful to whatever there is, or isn’t, out there that you came back to me.

  You came back, Ever. I thought I’d lost you, twice. And you came back.

  I’ll never be able to pay that debt. It is a debt, you know. I owe you my very soul. And I’ll spend every moment of my existence loving you to repay that debt.

  Yours,

  Forever and always and after forever,

  Cade

  I read the letter out loud, with the surf crashing beside us. It was an hour before sunset on a beach on St. John. Ever was dressed in a simple, elegant knee-length dress, strapless, white. Her black hair fluttered in the wind.

  At her side stood Cadence, two and a half, her amber eyes wide, going from me to Ever and back. “Mommy?” She only had once voice: loud. “Daddy crying? Daddy sad?”