Beyond Intent

by Karice Bolton

  “You don’t owe me anything. Go take care of business. Get this thing solved once and for all.”

  I grabbed my purse and quickly walked out of Gabby’s Goodies. Hopping in the Jeep, I dialed our pet sitter while trying to regain some composure.

  “Hey. Sorry to wake you.”

  “Huh? No. You didn’t wake me,” Teresa replied groggily.

  I totally woke her up.

  “Everything okay?” she asked.

  “I know it’s short notice, but I was hoping if your schedule was free…”

  “For Sunny and Tomato? Of course. I don’t have any clients scheduled all week.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. I’ll leave the instructions and everything on the kitchen counter. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you again.”

  “What can I say? My homemade dog biscuits are the talk of pooch town.”

  “That is true,” I laughed, turning the car onto the main road. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’m guessing no later than Friday.”

  “No problem,” she assured me. “I’ll be over there in a couple hours.”

  “Great. Thanks again.”

  The call ended, and I drove along the windy road toward our house. The morning fog was still churning through the air, creating a vapory denseness that made it difficult to see. I debated whether or not to call Jason now or once I was at the airport. I had no idea where he was at, other than he flew into Nashville. I didn’t want to have him try to dissuade me from coming, and I also didn’t want to confront him about whoever this Stanley person was over the phone.

  I pulled down the driveway and parked in front of the house. Jumping out of the Jeep, I left my purse inside and figured it was one less thing to pack.

  Tomato and Sunny were barking as I opened the front door, and I felt immediately better. There was something about these two that always calmed my nerves. Their smiling faces with their tongues hanging out really put things in perspective. As the two pooches circled around my legs, I scratched their backs and then darted up the stairs, stopping to pull a suitcase out of the hall closet.

  “Okay, girls. You’re going to have to help me pack. And promise not to tell dad I’m coming. We want the element of surprise to shock honesty right into him.” My stomach churned as I thought about why someone with CPS would be looking for Jason.

  Sunny walked down the hall while Tomato lingered behind as I closed up the suitcase. This was something I should’ve done from the beginning. It was a shame it took some strange man coming into the bakery to get my butt in gear.

  “Please tell me you two are the only kids he has,” I muttered. “Not being told about that would just be…”

  Tomato barked and circled at my feet.

  “Exactly how I feel,” I responded, pulling the carry-on to the bedroom. I hoisted it on the bed with a heave.

  Fatigue was running through me at an excruciating rate. My body felt as if it was running on the last cylinder. I wasn’t sure when the exhaustion fully hit me. Was it last night or this morning? Was Mr. Young the last straw? As I packed jeans, thermals, and t-shirts into the suitcase, I noticed my hands were shaking. It was slight, but I caught the tremor, and it worried me.

  When I got back I’d definitely schedule an appointment with the doctor. The stress of life was starting to take its toll. I threw my hairbrush in the suitcase and zipped up the carry-on. I flipped open the laptop that was on the dresser and typed in the travel website. Filling in the form with the destination and today’s date, I hit submit. A one-way ticket would be fine for now. I waited impatiently as the system churned.

  Tomato was already on the bed snuggled in between our pillows while Sunny sat at my feet. The page popped up with flight options. There were no direct flights, but the best option left Seattle in three hours, and I’d be in Tennessee by early evening. That would have to do. I quickly selected the flight and made my reservations. I printed my boarding pass and felt as if a weight had been lifted.

  I vowed to never climb into the backseat of my life again. Going forward, Jason and I would need to be a team no matter what life threw at us, and if this concept was going to be difficult for him, then we’d have to reevaluate lots of things.

  No more blissful ignorance to misguide me. I said my goodbyes to Sunny and Tomato and left for the airport, exhausted but excited for the future because I was no longer sitting on the sidelines of my life. I needed answers and nothing was going to stop me from getting them.

  I stood at the curb, searching the oncoming traffic for Jason’s rental car. He said to keep a lookout for a red Ford Fusion, and so far, I was striking out. I had decided not to call him and break the news until my layover in Denver. I figured that way he’d have to deal with my impromptu visit, but much to my surprise Jason sounded relieved that I was on my way. We spoke the entire time that I was stuck in Denver, and it made me wonder if this was what he’d been waiting for. Me to push my way in, the way I normally did. I think one of the mistakes my friends made was thinking that I was naïve or ignorant when it came to dating and Jason, but I was neither. I wasn’t weak. I was calculating.

  What it all boiled down to was that confrontation wasn’t my favorite way of conducting life. I wanted to ensure that I had plenty of backup plans in place in case something went awry. I hadn’t been ready to learn what was going on with Jason because then our mirage might’ve fractured into a million little pieces. I wasn’t so worried about the fracturing as the inability to piece the slivers back together again, but I had moved past that. I knew in my heart that no matter what mirage was shattered in the process of finding out what was going on, our reality would be stronger than anything an imagined existence could possibly be.

  My eyes caught a red car pulling around the bend, and my heart fluttered once my eyes landed on the driver. Jason had on his Oakley’s, and I couldn’t help but admire how sexy he looked even from a distance.

  It was true. I had it bad.

  I waved and sprang on my toes as he pulled to the curb. He jumped out and jogged around the front of the car. Pushing his sunglasses up, he smiled at me and opened his arms.

  “About time, gorgeous,” he whispered, hugging me tightly.

  “I’m sorry it took me so long,” I said, feeling the strength in his embrace.

  “The moment you said you were coming it was as if a big weight had been lifted,” he said, breaking away. “I should have realized I needed you now more than ever.”

  Hearing his words made me feel like I was floating on clouds. All this time, he thought he was protecting me. Meanwhile, we were both suffering for it.

  “I’m glad to be here,” I said smiling.

  He picked up my bag and carried it to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and slid the bag in. Letting out a sigh, he shut the trunk. “It’s really nice seeing you.” The bronze flecks in his eyes glimmered as the Tennessee sun shone down.

  I opened the door and slid inside just as Jason did the same. The car was still running, and the air conditioning was on full blast even though it wasn’t that warm out. I didn’t know how he thought he’d survive in Vegas, but I’d save that for another day.

  “Let’s drop your stuff off at the hotel and go grab some food,” Jason said.

  “Sounds like a good plan. The pretzels I ate on the plane really didn’t do the job.”

  I felt his hand slide over mine and he gripped it gently. “I’m finding out a lot of things being here,” he said, pulling into the traffic.

  “That’s good,” I replied, looking out the window as we wove through the traffic on the highway. “I’m at your service here. How ever I can help, I will.”

  He glanced at me. “I don’t doubt it.”

  We drove in silence until we got to the hotel, and he pulled into a parking stall. Jason turned off the engine and turned in his seat.

  “I’m really sorry for keeping you in the dark…” He smiled. “Even over the weekend.”

  “Aha,” I laugh
ed. “So you admit you used your hotness to mess with me.”

  Jason shrugged. “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed, feeling the closeness reemerge between us. “And if you try leaving me out again…”

  Jason laughed and threw his hands in the air. “Lesson learned. Besides, it feels better having you by my side.”

  I felt my cheeks warm at his admission and watched him climb out of the car. His worn jeans hugged his body and I chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?” Jason asked, his brow arched as he leaned back into the car.

  “Absolutely nothing,” I said smiling.

  He tapped on the roof of the car and walked around to the trunk as I got out and felt the muggy warm air against my skin. Granted, it was much warmer than back in Seattle, but it certainly wasn’t air-conditioner worthy.

  Jason carried my bag as we walked toward the hotel. It was a charming, boutique hotel. The doorman ushered us inside and I smiled as I took in the decor. The lobby was small, but big in the adorable department. Even though it was an upscale hotel, it felt like we stepped back in time. The wooden furniture throughout the room looked like it belonged in a museum. A cherry sugar chest was pushed against the far wall where newspapers were stacked on top. Next to the seating area was a nice pair of cherry candle stands that set off the area nicely.

  A glass case on the far wall with antiques lining the shelf caught my eye. I took a few steps closer as I examined a set of Nashville Coin Silver Spoons. The label listed them as circa 1841. It boggled my mind. A Tennessee Sampler from 1843 was propped next to the silver set. The colors of the threads had faded slightly with time, but it was still a beautiful piece.

  “Really lovely,” I remarked, stepping away from the case.

  We walked to the one elevator that serviced the hotel, and I pushed the button.

  “Am I a dork for still loving to push the elevator button?” I laughed.

  Jason smiled and shook his head. “A sexy dork but yes.”

  The elevator was tiny and all of the walls were mirrored. I glanced at Jason’s forearm, impressed at the well-defined string of muscles. We worked out together, but I think the real definition came from all the time he spent working on the bikes, lifting frames, sanding metal, all the fun stuff.

  I glanced at my reflection and almost gasped. I had dark circles under my eyes and my skin was freakishly pale. Granted I always get pretty pasty during the winter in Washington, but I think this was a whole new category. I touched my cheek and Jason noticed my reaction.

  “I guess the flight took its toll,” I said, as the elevator came to a bouncy stop.

  “You’re as beautiful as ever,” Jason said, touching the small of my back, guiding me toward our room.

  The hallway smelled like vanilla. I wasn’t sure how they pumped it through the place, but I liked it. We followed along the red-and-gold scrolled carpet until we reached the door to our room. Jason slid the card into the lock and I pushed the door open. The room was as charming as the lobby. There was a cherry four-poster bed in the center of the room draped in white cotton voile. The comforter and linens were white and the pop of color on the couch was a bright, royal blue. French doors led to a balcony, and I saw a flat screen anchored to the wall across from the sitting area. It could be seen from the bed or the couch.

  Jason set my bag down, and I tossed my purse onto the couch.

  “This is a really cute place,” I said.

  Jason nodded. “The staff is really friendly too. There’s a restaurant right down the street. We can walk, if you’re up to it?”

  “A walk would be wonderful,” I said. “I hate sitting on a plane for so long. I need fresh air and a chance to stretch out my legs.”

  He pulled out an extra room key from his wallet and handed it to me as we left the room and waited for the lone elevator.

  “So are you starting to find the answers you’re looking for?” I asked, as Jason slid his hand into mine.

  He let out a deep breath and nodded. “More than I bargained for, actually.”

  “Good.” I needed to tell him about the visit I got this morning, but I thought it would be best to wait until we were both sitting down over a nice meal. Somehow food always brought comfort, or at least that was my theory, and I didn’t plan on violating it anytime soon.

  We stepped onto the carriage, and I pressed the lobby button.

  “I was worried you weren’t going to be happy to have me come,” I said.

  The elevator ride down seemed to go faster than the one up to our room. Before he had a chance to answer, the doors opened and we walked through the lobby to the outdoors.

  Jason pointed down the sidewalk to the right, and I nodded as we walked hand-in-hand.

  Jason gave me a sideways glance and grinned sheepishly, shaking his head. “I’m sorry for making you ever feel that way. I’ve been so confused with everything, but having you show up was exactly what I needed. I’ll tell you that much, but I wouldn’t have thought it.”

  We walked past a small bakery, a flower shop, and a small vintage clothing store. I saw a cute dress that had to have been from the ‘50’s. The fabric had large cherries printed all over it, and the red sash complimented the full skirt and tiny waist. There was no way I’d be able to pull it off, but it looked cute on the mannequin.

  “This is where I thought we could eat,” Jason said, pulling on the glass door, which I almost walked into. The moment the door opened, I smelled a glorious mixture of cilantro and garlic.

  “Smells amazing,” I said.

  The hostess asked if we had reservations, which we didn’t. She chewed on her lip for a second before glancing behind her. “Do you mind sitting in a booth? It’s a little large for two, but…”

  “That would be great,” I said, thinking about all of the subjects I wanted to cover, and the much-needed privacy a booth would offer.

  “Perfect. Right this way,” the hostess gestured, as she grabbed two menus.

  The inside of the restaurant had exposed brick walls and glazed concrete floors, which gave it a contemporary feel. A bar was situated to the left and the main dining room was directly in front of us. The lighting was low, but the music was high, creating an upbeat environment.

  The hostess stopped in front of a large wooden booth, which was situated in the back corner of the restaurant. It was perfect. It would give me the opportunity to people watch while Jason and I discussed anything and everything.

  The hostess placed the menus on the table as Jason and I slid into the booth. She picked up the extra silverware and plates and excused herself. I felt Jason’s gaze on me as I placed the napkin in my lap and reorganized my silverware.

  “So how are you holding up?” I asked, my eyes connecting with his.

  Jason sat back in the booth and placed his hands on the table. “I’ve been better.”

  Honesty!

  I nodded as he opened the menu and glanced at it. “I think I know what you’re going to want.”

  “What’s that?” I asked, opening up the menu.

  “The spicy pepper mac and cheese.”

  My eyes landed on the dish. It sounded incredible. “Yep. No doubt about it.” We closed our menus as the server came over to introduce himself. We placed our orders, and I glanced around the restaurant. It was hopping for a Monday.

  “Do you want to fill me in on what you did today?” I asked, wondering when and how to slide the mystery man into the conversation.

  Jason nodded and let out a deep breath. “I guess I’m just going to have to get used to telling you about not-so-good things in my life as well.”

  I nodded and reached across the table to touch his hand. “You’re right about that, and I promise you that telling me about the bad things are equally as important. We can’t section our lives off from one another. I’m not going to run.”

  He gave me a faint smile and took a sip of water as I slid my hand away.

  “I honestly t
hink if you ran, I’d just follow you,” he laughed.

  “Thank you for that. I was beginning to think the move to Vegas was your version of running.”

  He let out a laugh. “Can’t get much past you.”

  “So it was?” I asked.

  “God. I sound like such an idiot. I didn’t realize it until I landed in Nashville.”

  “No. You’re only trying to steal the Sullivan way. Remember? We excel at running from our problems. It’s a family trait. I didn’t expect it to rub off on you so quickly, though.”

  Jason grinned and took a roll from the basket that the server delivered. “I honestly thought I could throw you off a bit longer.”

  “You know, I’m actually quite the sleuth. I was taking it easy on you.”

  “How so?”

  “I’ve got friends in high place. But I’ve got standards and didn’t call on my crew.” I winked at him, and Jason’s grin widened as he took a bite of the roll. I took a roll, too, and smeared a light coat of butter on top of it. This was the Jason I fell in love with.

  “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to start chiseling away at those walls you’ve tried to build between us,” I said, only half joking.

  “You’ve got it,” Jason said, smiling.

  I found myself sucking in a large amount of air. He was finally going to discuss whatever world he’d been shielding from me.

  “This morning I went to the house where my mom died,” Jason began. His eyes held the ghosts of a past he could no longer push away, but I was ready to confront them with him, and finally, he was willing to let me in.

  Our food sat mostly untouched as Jason continued to describe a history he’d attempted to trace. The thought of him doing this alone tormented me.

  “So you know how I was in foster care for most of my childhood…”

  I nodded. “And you didn’t know anything about your parents.”

  “That’s only partially true. The truth is that I knew exactly who my parents were. I tried to forget about them. Pretend that they didn’t exist. When I was a kid, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have a family like everyone else’s. Parents who cared about their children.”