Show Me Something (Something Series Book 5)

by Aubrey Bondurant

  “I met with Dr. Mac again today, and something he said really resonated.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If Rob hadn’t turned to drugs or Sarah hadn’t died, things would’ve been much different for both of us. But those things did happen, and now here we are. Nothing we can do or ever hope for will ever change the past.”

  No. It wouldn’t.

  “Jules, I still want my future to be with you and Tristan. I want to give you the sort of love you deserve. I’ve been miserable since you left. It’s as though you took all the sunshine with you.”

  I sucked in a breath, not knowing what to say. I loved this man so very much. Now wasn’t the time to tell him, but I could feel it in every fiber of my being. “I want that, too, but where do we go from here?”

  “Take it slow. Not skip over our feelings and be honest with one another.”

  Okay, but with me in Charlotte and him up in Connecticut, how did that happen?

  “What do you think about me coming to spend Christmas Day with you and Tristan and your family? I’d get a hotel room or something and wouldn’t stay long, but I have a gift for him. And for you.”

  I was shocked. “But that’s tomorrow. And I thought you were spending Christmas with Sarah’s family?”

  “I went over there tonight. That was enough. If you’re okay with me coming over in the afternoon, I wouldn’t stay long.”

  I forced myself to focus on what he was asking. I didn’t want to get my hopes up about what it meant that he was leaving Sarah’s family in order to spend the holiday with us. “Um, yeah, we’d love to have you. You could stay as long as you want. Dinner is around three, but if you can’t get here in time, then come whenever.”

  Jesus, I sounded like a freaking-out teenager who was about to introduce a boy to her parents for the first time.

  “I’ll be there by three. Can I bring anything? Maybe beer?”

  I smiled. “Beer would be most welcome.” Actually, I could use one now.

  “Okay. See you at three.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  On Christmas Day, the options for buying a gift were limited to 7-Eleven and Walgreens. I found myself at the latter of the two, trying to think of something to get Mark. I settled on a completely ridiculous item, hoping to get him a real gift at a later point.

  I still couldn’t believe he was coming. After stifling a yawn from an early wake-up, I grabbed my purchase and raced home in order to help my mom finish cooking the big meal. Tristan had woken up at six o’clock this morning. Thankfully, he was down for a nap now during this span of time before dinner. I’d loved the expression on his face when he’d come downstairs to see his new trike. After that, he’d torn through the presents like a maniac, having come to an understanding of what Christmas morning was all about.

  I’d held off on telling him Mark was coming just in case he’d changed his mind. But at three o’clock when the doorbell rang, I let Tristan go answer the door.

  “Mark, Mark.” His excited voice carried down the hall.

  The man I loved hastily set the things in his hands on the floor so that he could pick up the boy I loved and swing him up onto his hip. “Gosh, did I miss you. Did you get bigger? Was Santa good to you?”

  “Yep. I got bike. Wanna see?” Tristan wiggled until Mark put him down and then took his hand, intending to drag him through the house to see his new toy.

  “Hold on a sec, buddy.” He closed the door and focused on me, picking up the items from the floor and handing over flowers. “Um, these are for you.”

  “Oh. Thanks.” After taking the bouquet from his hands, followed by a six-pack of beer he then snagged from his feet, I awkwardly accepted his kiss on the cheek. Neither of us seemed to know what to do.

  “I’m gonna go see his tricycle if that’s okay.”

  I smiled at an anxious Tristan. “Of course. You can even ride it again outside if we get your coat on. We have a little bit of time before dinner.”

  Tristan whooped and rushed to get his coat and shoes on.

  A few minutes later we were outside in the cul-de-sac where my mother lived, watching Tristan pedal his way around. Mark stood next to me but kept a careful eye and helped him get turned around when he got stuck.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  “Yeah, Merry Christmas. Thanks for letting me come.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I— God when did this get so awkward?”

  He smiled. “I was thinking the same.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  “At Josh’s house. He and the family are up in Virginia, so he offered his Charlotte house to me while I’m here.”

  “How long are you down for?”

  “That depends on you.”

  “Me?”

  “If you’re up for it, I was hoping I could take you to dinner tomorrow night. That is, if your mom can babysit.”

  “Like a date?”

  He blushed slightly, reminiscent of our first few interactions. “Yes. I think it’s about time I take you out on a proper one. Don’t you?”

  A smile broke out across my face. “I’d love to do dinner.”

  “And here, this is for you.” From his coat pocket, he handed me a long box with a bow on it.

  “You want me to open it now?”

  “Yeah. I have Legos for Tristan for later, but I wanted to give this one to you in private.”

  Oh. I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid to reveal a lovely silver bracelet. On it were two charms. One was Tristan’s birthstone, and the other was a sun.

  “It’s beautiful.” My throat was closing with emotion as I dared to feel hope for the future. Someone didn’t get a person a charm bracelet without an unspoken promise to fill it up with more charms. Right?

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “I, um, have something for you, too, but now it seems silly.” Because his gift was thought out and had obviously cost more than five dollars bought from a drugstore this morning.

  “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

  I shook my head as I put a hand in my sweatshirt pocket. I was having serious second thoughts about how he would take this gift. “I, uh, I only had a pharmacy and convenience store for options to get you something after learning you were coming, so I apologize. And I probably should’ve gone with the chocolate-covered cherries instead. Although I don’t even know if you like those things. But I definitely don’t. I mean I like cherries, and I love chocolate, but put them together with that weird liquid center, and eww.”

  He chuckled, holding out his hand, palm up. “You’re adorable when you get nervous. Now hand it over.”

  Ha. Guess it was good he thought so. I gave him the small box I’d hastily wrapped. Watching as he opened it, I bit my lip.

  He held up the key chain which said, “I like my girls Southern, Sassy and Sweet.”

  “It probably should say crazy at the end, and it’s stupid but—”

  He cut me off, flashing me a grin. “I adore it.”

  After dinner was over, the last of the gifts had been opened, and Tristan was ready for bed, I walked Mark out to his rental car. The day had been more than comfortable. My mom and stepfather had engaged Mark in conversation, and Tristan, loving the Lego set Mark had bought him, had then wanted to show him all of his toys.

  I fought disappointment when, instead of pulling me close for a kiss that showed how much he’d missed me, he only pecked me on the cheek and told me he’d pick me up tomorrow night.

  Although slow wasn’t a favorite speed of mine, I couldn’t help being excited about the prospect of a real date.

  ***

  Our first official date the next evening included dinner at a local steakhouse at a quaint table for two and a subject I wasn’t expecting. “Brian mentioned he was asking you to do a toast at the wedding reception.”

  I almost choked on my mashed potatoes. “What’s that, now? What toast?”

  A grimace came over Mark’s expression. “Shit. I thought
by now he would’ve asked.”

  “He said that when he got back from vacation next week he had a favor to ask for the wedding. I thought perhaps he wanted me to help with setting up something, not actually speaking in public. Good grief, what is he thinking?”

  Mark chuckled. “He’s thinking how better to entertain a crowd? He also mentioned that it was you who told him Sasha was the one for him since the day she started working there. That you used to do recon on her for him in the beginning. That should make for a good story.”

  “True, but you know how I get when I’m anxious. Stuff starts blurting out in an inappropriate fountain of too-much-information. Guess I’ll have to be sure to remain sober and write it down so I don’t go off the rails.” I was truly honored to give a toast. But given my propensity for embarrassing moments, I didn’t want to saddle the bride and groom with the kind of speech that had people talking for weeks.

  “There is no doubt in my mind that everyone will love you.”

  Did that include him? I knew it was only a figure of speech, but the ultimate question didn’t ever leave my mind. Would he ever be able to say the words? And since we were on the subject of the wedding in a few weeks, how would he act around me there, surrounded by all of our friends? Would it be awkward as it had been for Catherine’s party? Or would he be okay with showing people we were a couple? Hell, half of them already knew. So many questions, yet going slow meant learning not to push things.

  After dinner, he walked me to the front door of my mom’s house.

  I leaned in toward him, wishing he’d invited me back to his place instead of dropping me off.

  “So, how do you feel about me coming back down for New Year’s?” He took my hands in his.

  “Yeah. Only if you want to.” Cluck. That sounded a lot like insecurity.

  He leaned back and cupped my chin. “I definitely want.”

  God, so did I. I met his lips, hungry for the taste of him. But he pulled back the moment my arms snaked around his waist to draw him closer.

  “I don’t want to push this. This is too important to rush things.”

  I didn’t want to sound desperate, but I’d missed him and the physical contact. “Yeah. I look forward to New Year’s.”

  “I’ll be counting the days.”

  “Me, too.”

  He sighed regretfully. “Good night, Jules.”

  Yep. I tried to remember that slow was good. Slow was necessary. Oh, who was I kidding?

  After our kiss—slow seemed like an impossible speed to maintain for long.

  ***

  Turns out the best time I ever had on New Year’s Eve didn’t involve getting dressed up, going out, or even staying up until midnight. Instead it was the night I spent with Mark. He’d reserved a hotel suite a few miles away from my mom’s house and invited Tristan and me over for a Disney movie marathon. Mark thought of everything from champagne for us adults to sparkling apple cider for Tristan. We ordered up room service and made it through three movies before Tristan fell asleep.

  After we’d put him in the bedroom, I snuggled close to Mark on the couch while he found the New Year’s countdown on TV. Unable to help myself, I let my hands wander along his strong arms, stroking and feeling his skin. I inhaled the scent of him, shifting so I could get up on my knees beside him. As I kissed him behind his ear, I ran my other hand through his silky hair. I’d missed him.

  “Jules. You’re making this hard.”

  “Mm. Guess that means I’m doing it right, then.” There was something really appealing about being the one to initiate sex for once. Something empowering.

  But he wasn’t having it. Instead, he flicked off the television and stood up abruptly. “Um. How about I’ll take the couch, and you can share the bed with Tristan?”

  He stood there with his hands in his pockets while I fought the insecurity over being rejected. “Sure. Happy New Year.”

  I got up, intent on making a beeline for the bedroom, but Mark snagged my waist, pulling me into him.

  “Wait.” He breathed into my neck as if struggling with restraint. “This is more than sex. I want you to know that.”

  “I’ve always known that.” He wasn’t exactly the type to sleep around.

  “I want the next time I make love to you to be perfect. I don’t want to rush or worry about waking up Tristan or me having to catch a plane first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “Okay. I guess I get that.” Waiting would make it worth it right? Except that I wanted him now. Then again, the idea of having him all night without trying to be quiet and waking up with him in the morning sounded good, too.

  “What are your plans for the next couple of weekends?”

  “I have a lot happening with the house and stuff.” I was moving, planned a garage sale, and closing on the house.

  “I should be able to make it down again in two or three more weeks.”

  It wasn’t like I could expect him to travel to see me every weekend, especially when he’d just done the last two. “That sounds good. Or maybe I could come up if my mom can watch Tristan.” Although I was unsure when it would work for her.

  Suddenly it felt as though progress was at a standstill.

  ***

  “I need to figure out how to seduce Mark.”

  I dumped these words on Sasha the Monday after New Year’s. There was slow, but then there was completely stopped. That’s where I felt Mark and I were at the moment. And since I didn’t want to wait weeks to be intimate with him, I was thinking of getting my mom to babysit and fly up there for a night if I needed to. Clearly, I’d developed a one-track mind.

  From across her desk, Sasha eyed me with an arched brow over her coffee mug. “As much as this may sound weird, you may be better off talking to Brian about this kind of stuff.”

  I laughed out loud. “Uh, we’re close, but you’re right, that would be weird. Seriously, you exude—” I waved at her. “—sexual confidence in spades. I need, like, an ounce.”

  She lifted a brow. “First off, it’s not me who originally did the seducing in my relationship; it was your boss. I have no game in the bedroom. Well, I guess I do now, but back then—”

  I put my hands over my ears in exaggerated form. “TMI.”

  She laughed. “You started this conversation. Plus, I thought you and Mark were taking it slow.”

  I flopped down into her guest chair. “We are. And it’s wonderful. But he has this idea of everything being perfect for when we, you know—”

  “Have sex again.”

  “Exactly.” I should probably be able to say it out loud before I went and tried to seduce someone, but I wasn’t used to having this kind of discussion. Not even with my girlfriends. “He said he wants a night with only the two of us, but with the move and everything else, I’m not sure when we can get a weekend away. I don’t want to wait another week or weeks until your wedding weekend. Especially since he didn’t hint at attending together, which is another problem in and of itself.”

  “Well, there’s a definition of slow for you.”

  “Excruciatingly so. He’s thinking he needs to show me it’s not just sex, but I get that.” God knows, we had plenty other hurdles to overcome, but this wasn’t one of them.

  “We talk every night. And he continues to meet with Dr. Mac, but don’t you think intimacy might be important, too?”

  She grinned. “Of course I do. But what’s this really about?”

  Leave it to my friend to get to the heart of it. “I think it’s about me taking control. From the beginning, he’s been the one furthering our, um, physical relationship. I love that take-charge side of him, but maybe I have something left to prove when it comes to my sexual confidence. I realize he’s afraid of hurting me, but I need that intimacy with him again, much more than I need it to be perfect. Because without it, I start to get anxious. You could say it’s an important connection for me to have. And I don’t want to wait any longer.”

  Since I’d been through a relationshi
p where I’d stopped having any sort of intimacy, it made sense that I now craved that as an integral part of my new relationship. And yes, I could simply tell him, but the idea of showing him sounded much better.

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that while Mark was facing his demons, I had a couple more to conquer. Sure, I’d let him see me naked and had been vulnerable with him, but I’d yet to initiate sex with him. I’d yet to be the one who took control. Right now, that was all I could think about.

  “In that case, we need to go shopping, and I’m about to spoil a surprise.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She sighed. “Mark planned to be here next week. He found out from Brian that you have the day off next Friday for your home inspection. Mark wanted to come down as a surprise in order to help with everything. He even called your mom to arrange babysitting for that Friday night. My guess is he intends to take you out. So if you want to seduce him, I suggest you make some plans of your own.”

  I grinned. “Okay. Operation Seduction has commenced. And the first order of business is not to tell Brian.”

  Learning that Mark had wanted to surprise me fueled my self-confidence. I intended to hijack his plans and make some of my own.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Brian looked taken aback to see me walk into his office on Friday morning. “What? What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off for your home inspection.”

  I had to fight my grin and not blurt out my plan. “I realized I didn’t need to be there. My realtor will go to represent me and give me a copy of the report in case we have any repairs to make. Matter of fact, I brought in donuts today for everyone. I want to get back to doing that on Fridays.”

  So what if half the office had made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight? I hadn’t. If anything, my resolution was to stop beating myself up for every little indulgence and focus on being healthy instead. You know…starting tomorrow after I had a glazed donut or two.

  “How are you feeling, by the way? Only a few more weeks till you’re a married man.”