The Italian's Christmas Secret

by Sharon Kendrick

  ‘You were the man who once told me about the benefits of waiting,’ she teased him. ‘Won’t this allow you to test out your theory?’

  Matteo laughed as she pulled away from him, the prim twitch of her lips contradicting the hunger in her eyes, and he shook his head slightly, wondering what kind of spell she had cast over him. He was used to the wiles of women yet Keira used none of them. She wasn’t deliberately provocative around him and didn’t possess that air of vanity of someone who revelled in her sexual power over a man. On the contrary, in public she was almost demure—while in private she was red-hot. And that pleased him, too. She pleased him and unsettled him in equal measure. She left him wanting more—but more of what, he didn’t know. She was like a drink you took when your throat was dry yet when you’d finished it, you found that your thirst was just as intense.

  He stroked his fingers down over her belly, his gaze steady as they stood hidden by the shadows of the staircase. Hard to believe that a child had grown beneath its almost-flat curve. ‘I want you to know you are an amazing mother,’ he said suddenly. ‘And that Santino is blessed indeed.’

  He saw the surprise behind the sudden brightness in her eyes, her mouth working as she struggled to contain herself.

  ‘Don’t make me get all emotional, Matteo,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve got to go in there and make conversation with your father and stepmother and I’m not going to make a very good impression if I’ve been blubbing.’

  But he disregarded her soft plea, knowing he needed to express something which had slowly become a certainty. He owed her that, at least. ‘I shouldn’t have taken you to Rome when I did and made you leave the baby behind,’ he admitted slowly. ‘No matter how good the childcare we had in place. I can see now that it was a big ask for a relatively new mother in a strange country.’

  He saw her teeth working into her bottom lip and he thought she might be about to cry, when suddenly she smiled and it was like the bright summer sun blazing all over him with warmth and light, even though outside it was cold and wintry.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, a little shakily. ‘I love you for saying that.’

  He stilled. ‘Really?’

  A look of horror crossed her face as she realised what she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean—’

  ‘Didn’t you?’ he murmured. ‘How very disappointing.’

  Keira told herself he was only teasing as he led her into the salon, but she felt as if she were floating on air as she took a grizzling Santino from Massimo’s bear-like arms and rocked him dreamily against her chest. Had Matteo really just admitted he’d been in the wrong by taking her to Rome and told her she was a good mother? It wasn’t so much the admission itself, more the fact he was beginning to accept that each and every one of them got it wrong sometimes—and that felt like a major breakthrough.

  And had she really just let her guard down enough to tell him she loved him? It hadn’t been in a dramatic way or because she’d expected an instant reciprocal response. She’d said it affectionately and Matteo needed that, she reckoned. How many times had he been told he’d been loved when he was growing up? Too few, she suspected.

  Still high from the impact of their conversation, Keira refused the glass of vintage champagne which was offered and accepted a glass of some bittersweet orange drink instead.

  But unusually, Santino grizzled in her arms and she wondered if it was the excitement of the day which was making him so fractious. Discreetly, she slipped away to the nursery to feed and change him before rocking him until he was sound asleep and carefully putting him in his crib.

  She picked up the empty bottle and was just on her way out when she was startled by the sight of Luciana, who suddenly appeared at the nursery door in a waft of expensive scent. Keira wondered if she’d wandered into the wrong room or if she’d been hoping for a cuddle with Santino. But there was an odd smile on her new stepmother’s face and, for some reason, whispers of trepidation began to slide over Keira’s spine.

  ‘Is everything okay, Luciana?’ she questioned, hoping she sounded suitably deferential towards the older woman.

  Luciana shrugged. ‘That depends what you mean by okay. I was a little disappointed that my son and his family were not invited to the ceremony today.’

  ‘Oh, well—you can see how it is.’ Keira gave a nervous smile, because Matteo had hinted that there was no love lost between him and his stepbrother, Emilio. ‘We just wanted a very small wedding.’

  ‘Sì.’ Luciana picked up a silver-framed photo of Santino and began to study it. ‘And naturally, it would have been very difficult for Emilio.’

  ‘Difficult?’

  Luciana put the photograph down. ‘In the circumstances.’

  Keira blinked. ‘What circumstances?’

  Elegantly plucked eyebrows were raised. ‘Because of the clause in my husband’s will, of course.’

  Keira’s heart began to pound as some nameless dread crept over her. ‘What clause?’

  ‘Surely Matteo has told you?’ Luciana looked surprised. ‘Though perhaps not. He has always been a man who gives very little away.’ Her expression became sly. ‘You are aware that this house belonged to Massimo’s first wife?’

  ‘To Matteo’s mother?’ questioned Keira stiffly. ‘Yes, I knew that. It’s where she was born and where she grew up. It’s one of the reasons he loves it so much.’

  Luciana shrugged. ‘Ever since Matteo reached the age of eighteen, Massimo has generously allowed his son to use the estate as his own. To all intents and purposes, this was Matteo’s home.’ She paused. ‘But a strange thing happens to men as they grow older. They want to leave something of themselves behind.’ Her surgically enhanced eyes gleamed. ‘I’m talking, of course, about continuing the Valenti name. I am already a grandmother. I understand these desires.’

  Keira’s head was spinning. ‘I honestly don’t understand what you’re getting at, Luciana.’

  ‘Ah, I can see you know nothing of this.’ Luciana gave a hard smile. ‘It’s very simple. He loves this house for obvious reasons, but he does not own it. And Massimo told him he intended bequeathing the entire estate to his stepson, unless Matteo produced an heir of his own with the Valenti name.’ She shrugged her bony shoulders. ‘I wondered if he would be prepared to sacrifice his freedom for an heir, not least because he has always shown a certain...disdain for women. And yet here you are—a pretty little English girl who arrived with a baby in her arms and got a wedding ring for her troubles. The perfect solution to all Matteo’s problems!’

  ‘You’re saying that...that Matteo would have lost this house unless he produced an heir?’

  ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying. His gain, my son’s loss.’ Luciana shrugged. ‘C’est la vie.’

  Keira felt so shocked that for a moment her limbs felt as if they were completely weightless. With a shaking hand, she put the empty bottle down on a shelf and swallowed, trying to compose herself—and knowing that she had to get away from Luciana’s toxic company before she did or said something she regretted. ‘Please excuse me,’ she said. ‘But I must get back to the wedding party.’

  Did she imagine the look of disappointment which flickered across Luciana’s face, or did she just imagine it? It didn’t matter. She was going to get through this day with her dignity intact. Matteo had married her to get his hands on this property, so let him enjoy his brief victory. What good would come of making a scene on her wedding day?

  Somehow she got through the rest of the afternoon, meeting Matteo’s questioning stare with a brittle smile across the dining table, while everyone except her tucked into the lavish wedding breakfast. Did he sense that all was not well, and was that the reason why his black gaze seemed fixed on her face?

  She was relieved when finally Massimo and Luciana left—though her father-in-law gave her the most enormous hug, which brought an unexpected lump to her throat. Leaving Matteo to dismiss Paola and the rest of the staff, Keira hurried to tend to Santino, spending far longer than neces
sary as she settled her baby son for the night.

  At last she left the nursery and went into the bedroom but her hands were clammy as she pulled off her wedding outfit and flung it over a chair. Spurred on by Leola, she had been planning on surprising Matteo with the shortest dress she’d ever worn. A bottom-skimming dress for his eyes and no one else’s. She’d wanted to wear it in anticipation of the appreciative look on his face when he saw it and to hint at a final farewell to her residual tomboy. But now she tugged on a functional pair of jeans and a sweater because she couldn’t bear the thought of dressing up—not when Matteo’s motives for marrying her were making her feel so ugly inside.

  Although she would have liked nothing better than to creep into bed on her own and pull the duvet over her head to blot out the world, she knew that wasn’t an option. There was only one acceptable course of action which lay open to her, but she couldn’t deny her feeling of dread as she walked into the room which overlooked the garden at the back of the house, where Matteo stood beside the fire, looking impossibly handsome in his charcoal wedding suit. Don’t touch me, she prayed silently, even though her body desperately wanted him to do just that—and maybe something had alerted him to her conflicted mood because his eyes narrowed and he made no attempt to approach her.

  His face was sombre as he regarded her. ‘Something is wrong.’

  It was a statement, not a question, but Keira didn’t answer straight away. She allowed herself a few more seconds before everything changed for ever. A final few seconds where she could pretend they were newly-weds about to embark on a shared life together. ‘You could say that. I had a very interesting conversation with Luciana earlier.’ She inhaled deeply and then suddenly the words came spilling out, like corrosive acid leaking from a car battery. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were only marrying me to get your hands on an inheritance?’ she demanded. ‘And that this house would only become yours if you produced a legitimate child? I would have understood, if only you’d had the guts to tell me.’

  He didn’t flinch. His gaze was hard and steady. ‘Because the inheritance became irrelevant. I married you because I care for you and my son and because I want us to make a future together.’

  Keira wanted to believe him. The child-woman who had yearned for a long white dress and big bouquet of flowers longed for it to be the truth. But she couldn’t believe him—it was a stretch too far. Once she’d thought he sounded like someone reading from a script when he’d been addressing a subject which would make most people emotional—and he was doing it again now.

  I care for you and my son.

  He sounded like a robot intoning the correct response, not someone speaking from the heart. And his lack of emotion wasn’t the point, was it? She’d known about that from the start. She’d known the reason he was made that way and, filled with hope and with trust, had been prepared to make allowances for it. She bit her lip. When all the time he’d been plotting away and using her as a pawn in his desire to get his hands on this estate.

  ‘I understand that you’re known as an elusive man who doesn’t give anything away,’ she accused shakily. ‘But how many more people are going to come out of the woodwork and tell me things about you that I didn’t know? Can you imagine how it made me feel to hear that from Luciana, Matteo? To know you’d been buttering me up to get me to marry you? I thought... I thought you were doing it for your son’s future, when all the time it was because you didn’t want to lose a piece of land you thought of as rightfully yours! You don’t want a family—not really—you’ve just used me as some kind of incubator!’

  ‘But there’s a fundamental flaw in your argument,’ he grated. ‘If inheriting the estate meant so much to me, then why hadn’t I fathered a child with someone else long before I met you?’

  ‘Because I don’t think you really like women,’ she said slowly. ‘Or maybe you just don’t understand them. You never knew your mother and she died so tragically that it’s inevitable you idealised her. She would have had flaws, just like we all do—only you never got to see them. No woman could ever have lived up to her and maybe that’s one of the reasons why you never settled down.’ She sucked in a deep breath. ‘And then I came along and took the decision away from you. A stolen night, which was never meant to be any more, suddenly produced an heir. You didn’t have to go through the whole tedious ritual of courting a woman you didn’t care for in order to get yourself a child. Fate played right into your hands, didn’t it, Matteo? Suddenly you had everything you needed, without any real effort on your part.’

  His face blanched. ‘You think I am so utterly ruthless?’

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, and there was a crack in her voice. ‘Maybe you do care—a little. Or as much as you ever can. But you’re missing the point. I thought growing up without a father was difficult, but at least I knew where I stood. It may have been grim at times but it was honest and you haven’t been honest with me.’ She swallowed. ‘It feels like I’m in the shadows of your life—like someone in the wings watching the action on stage. I see the way you are with the baby—and with me—and it comes over as a performance, not real. How could it be, when Santino and I were only ever a means to an end?’

  Matteo flinched as he met the accusation in her eyes, because nobody had ever spoken quite so candidly to him. ‘For someone so tiny, you certainly don’t pull any punches, do you, Keira?’

  ‘What’s the point in pulling punches? All we have left is the truth,’ she said wearily. ‘You’ve got what you wanted, Matteo. We’re married now and your son has been legitimised. You have continued the Valenti name and will therefore inherit the estate. You don’t need me any more.’

  Matteo felt his chest tighten and his instinct was to tell her that she was right—and that he didn’t need anyone. He’d spent his whole life not needing anyone because there had been nobody there to lean on, nobody to get close to—why change that pattern now? But some unknown emotion was nudging at his conscience as something deep inside him told him this was different.

  ‘And what if I say I do need you?’ he said hoarsely as he attempted to articulate the confusion of thoughts which were spinning around inside his head.

  Her eyes widened, but he could see a wariness in their depths of profondo blu. ‘You do?’ she queried uncertainly.

  The moment it took for her to ask the question was all Matteo needed to shift things into perspective, because he knew he mustn’t offer her false promises or false hope. She deserved more than that. So stick to the facts, he urged himself grimly. You’re good with facts. Allow her to consider all the advantages of remaining here, as his wife.

  ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘And logistically it makes perfect sense.’

  ‘Logistically?’ she echoed, her voice a little faint.

  ‘Sure.’ He shrugged. ‘If we’re all living together under one roof as a family, it will be much better for Santino. Better than having a father who just jets in and sees him on high days and holidays.’

  ‘There is that, of course,’ she said woodenly.

  ‘And I’ve married you now, Keira,’ he said softly. ‘I have given you the security of bearing my name and wearing my ring. Your future is assured. You don’t need to worry about money ever again.’

  ‘You think that’s what it’s all about?’ she questioned, her voice trembling. ‘Money?’

  ‘Not all of it, no—but a big part of it. And we have plenty of other reasons to keep our marriage going.’ He curved her a slow smile. ‘What about the sexual chemistry which exists between us? That fact that you are the hottest woman I’ve ever had in my bed?’

  She gasped as if she had been winded before staring at him—as if she were looking at someone she’d never seen before. ‘You just don’t get it, do you, Matteo? You list all the reasons I should stay with you and yet you haven’t mentioned anything which really matters!’

  He flinched with pain as he met the undiluted anger in her gaze, but at the same time a strange sense of relief wa
shed over him as he realised that he no longer had to try. She was going and taking their child with him and he would just have to learn how to deal with that. And anyway, he thought grimly—why would he want to prolong a relationship when it could hurt like this? Hadn’t he vowed never to let anyone hurt him, ever again?

  ‘Okay, I get it. What do you want?’

  With an effort he held up the palms of his hands, in silent submission, and the sudden wobble of her lips made him think she might be about to backtrack—maybe to soften the blows which she’d just rained on him, but all she said was, ‘I’d like us to separate.’

  He told himself it was better this way. Better to go back to the life he was used to and be the person he knew how to be, rather than chase after the glimmer of gold which Keira Ryan had brought shimmering into his life.

  ‘Tell me what you want, in practical terms,’ he said flatly.

  He could see her throat constricting as she nodded.

  ‘I’d like to return to London as soon as possible and to rent somewhere before I decide to buy,’ she said, before sucking in a deep breath. ‘But I want you to know that I’ll take only what is necessary for our needs and you’re not to worry. I don’t intend to make a great hole in your wealth, Matteo.’

  And even that got to him, because he couldn’t even level the charge of greed against her. She wasn’t interested in his money, he realised, and she never had been. She’d taken the cash he’d thoughtlessly left beside the bed and had given it away to charity. She’d fought like mad against him buying her a fancy wardrobe. She was a jewel of a woman, he realised—a bright and shining jewel. But it was too late for them. The cold, pinched look on her beautiful face told him that. So let her go, he told himself. Set her free. At least you can give her that.

  ‘That can all be arranged,’ he said. ‘But in turn, I need your reassurance that I can continue to see my son.’

  There was surprise on her face now and he wondered if secretly she had expected him to cut all ties with his own flesh and blood.