6 Mountain Brothers for Christmas

by Rye Hart

  “I’m glad to have the extra work. It helps with the bills, and I’ve been enjoying this new phase of cleaning out unneeded trash and clutter.” I fought off the urge to say: ‘Devin being the first and biggest.’, but I stopped myself.

  “I’m about to change the apartment up a bit. Maybe I’ll paint it and get a new couch. The ones I have now are too old.”

  The truth was I couldn’t wait to move out of the apartment and had Devin’s nuisance to thank for that. Though, I couldn’t afford the rent in the area. At least for now I could enjoy my space for however long I was going to be here.

  “Those couches are ancient, honey. I had them when I moved into this place forty years ago,” Aunt Helen said.

  “It’s great furniture, but it’s time to die.”

  Devin came into the kitchen and grabbed a mug before helping himself to a cup of coffee.

  “I’m going to take this on the road.” He raised his mug and took a sip as she waved her hand dismissively.

  “You go on ahead. Bring my mug back, though. You can’t find anything with Iggy on it anymore.”

  The oven timer went off, and I got up to take a peek at the bread that was ready. As usual, there was way too much, and Aunt Helen stopped Devin.

  “Come back here, honey, and get you some toast for the road.” She grabbed a paper towel and wrapped a few pieces up for him to take, which he gladly did.

  “Thanks, Hel. Rain.” He gave my friend a nod and then met my eyes with a smirk.

  I felt my blood boiling. Why did he have to hang around like an unwanted rag doll? He brought out the worst in me.

  Once the door was shut, Rain giggled. “Wow, you could cut the tension in here with a knife. It’s one thing to have hard feelings, but you waste way too much emotion hating him, Kam.”

  “Uh, hello? Can you blame me? He did nothing but put me down for months and cheat on me. Am I supposed to kiss his feet just because he’s a good guitar player?” I asked her.

  I loved Rain, and knew that she had my back in most things, but I was still a little pissed that she stayed connected to Devin knowing how much he’d hurt me. I didn’t want to start a fight with my best friend, so I instead excused myself and made my way to my apartment.

  As I walked in and threw myself on my coach, I heard Rain’s footsteps up the steps. She entered my living room with a concerned look on her face.

  “You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind. I’m sorry Devin was here. I know it’s not easy, but I couldn’t let him drive home.”

  “You did the right thing. I just wish he’d have the decency to at least try not to show his face around me. He’s always in my space and says things that only annoy me even more.”

  Rain sat down next to me in the couch. “I wanted to tell you about something. Samantha at work was telling me about this dating site. I don’t know if you’ve ever considered that sort of thing, but this one is based locally, and it matches people based on your interests. Who knows you may find your perfect man and baby daddy. It’s called Matched Solid. She’s had a good experience with it so far.”

  “I’ve never thought of using a dating site. I hear they can be dangerous if you’re not careful, and the last thing I need is a stalker.”

  “This one is supposed to have security features in place, and you’re only sharing the information that you allow to share. It’s not like you rush into anything. If you find someone, you can call them and say hi through their chat and online call feature. That way, you’re not giving these men your numbers.” Rain shrugged, and I had to admit, it’d sounded different from anything else I’d heard of.

  Rain’s concern was warranted. My life was beginning to feel like complete hell. And every time I had a run in with Devin, all my anger and resentment stirred back up. How the hell was I going to move on with my life like this? I needed something other than work as a distraction, because I was slowly going mad.

  “So how much does this thing cost?” I knew there had to be some catch and I didn’t want to spend all my hard-earned tip money paying monthly fees.

  Rain took out her phone. “Here, let’s look it up.” She sent her thumbs moving across the screen and put the phone in front of us. I leaned in close to get a better look.

  “They have an introductory special. It’s a one-time fee of fourteen-ninety-nine. You can’t beat that. You get access to their forums and have your own profile page that you can add pictures to.”

  I leaned in over her shoulder. “It’s kind of like the Facebook of romance. I guess it has algorithms that suggest people based on their interests. I guess I could try it.”

  “We can’t look at the profiles unless we have an account. Do you want to set one up?” Rain smile widened as she bounced in her seat.

  “I guess we could. My laptop is in my bedroom.”

  As if we were kids again, we gave each other mischievous looks and raced to my room. We opened it, and it lit up, the screen coming to life to reveal my lock screen. I typed in my password, and I let Rain take to the keys.

  She typed in the web address, and soon the site popped up. “OK, let’s see how to sign you up.” Rain filled in the appropriate information and only had to ask me a few questions to get me started. Once it went to the payment part, she turned the computer around, and I punched in my numbers, giving Matched Solid my fifteen-dollar entry.

  I kept the computer in front of me. “We can look at the profiles now.” I let out a deep breath and scrolled down through the gallery of profiles, each of which had a picture and a brief description. There was a search feature, and it had options to search for specific interests, but I glanced over several profiles on the page. The entire group was filled with attractive people, and even if someone wasn’t to my personal attraction, there weren’t any who looked like they belonged in prison.

  That’s a win.

  Rain whistled. “Nice looking bunch. I’ve heard when people pay to be on a site; it usually means they are going to put their best face forward, but then again, this site could be doing the same thing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, the site probably puts their more attractive people on the front pages.” She lifted her shoulder casually and leaned in closer.

  “I guess I can see why they’d do that. Let’s dig around a bit.” I went halfway into the profiles and found that the further back into the pages, the less “apple pie” the people looked. Rain was right.

  “Dang, he’s fine.” Rain practically pushed me aside and leaned in to get a better look. “Hellooo, Daddy.” She fanned herself as I giggled.

  “You’re terrible. He is hot, though. It’s good to see a few rugged guys here and there, for a minute I thought we’d stepped into an ivy league yearbook.” I hit like, and she smiled.

  “Yeah, but look at this guy. If he contacts you, I’ll be so jealous. He’s even making my ovaries boil. I think you better turn the page before we become pregnant by osmosis.”

  “If only it were that easy.” I nudged her and scrolled further into the list.

  “Wow, he’s got some serious hair.” I gave her a look and shook my head. “I think we better keep going.” We scrolled through all the pages, making comments and hitting the like button when necessary. We laughed at a few until we cried and couldn’t believe what some were putting in their profiles.

  “I think you need to do your profile. We could spend hours here.”

  “We have. I don’t know what to put. Do you think you could help me write it? I noticed many of them were written in the third person.”

  “I’ll do what I can. We’ll have them lining up in no time.”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted them lining up, but I had to get started somehow.

  “First things first. Let’s add a profile picture.”

  After we got my profile all set up and Rain left to go to work, I sat and scrolled through the guys one more time.

  I sat and looked through the photos of all the “eligible bachelors near me.” I coul
dn’t help but wonder which one of them might make a good dad.

  CHAPTER FOUR - TATE

  I worked for hours on the images I’d captured. I raked my hand through my hair as I took a let my eyes rest. My photography was the only thing that took my mind off the impending deadline from my will. Finding a girl after an ugly break-up wasn’t as easy as I’d thought.

  I needed help.

  My head was pounding and I needed to take a break, so I put my computer screen on sleep mode. That’s when I heard the car pull in my gravel driveway.

  Who the hell could that be?

  I glanced out the window wondering who would show up at this time of the morning. With Megan over from her weekend visit, I thought maybe she was expecting someone, but instead I saw my friend Hazen’s blue Corvette.

  I greeted him at the door as he made his way down the path. “Hey man, where the hell have you been?” He slapped my hand as he walked by and entered my home.

  He went right to the bar I kept at the back of my living room and poured a drink.

  “It’s a little early for that, isn’t it?” I didn’t mind that he made himself at home. I just enjoyed breaking his balls.

  “It’s nearly three, man. Are you just waking up? I’ve tried to reach you all weekend.” He walked over to join me, slapping me on the back as he passed. I’d known the guy since we were kids. He was a character and one of my best friends.

  “I went on a shoot. Got some great shots, but some assholes were camping nearby, and they had every light on in the fucking cabin. I’ve been on the computer filtering out the pollution all day.”

  He had a concerned look on his face. “It looks like you have more than your shots on your mind. How’s the search for the Mrs. going?

  “Not well at all. I’m screwed. I seriously don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “Damn, that bad?

  “You tell me. I have to produce an heir in about a year, or I don’t get my money. I’ll have to go on a fuck fest to make it happen.”

  “Boo fucking hoo, man. So you go out and pay some chick to let you knock her up. It’s not like you won’t be able to afford it,” he said, totally missing the point.

  “I’ll have a kid. I might not want kids, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to have a little me roaming the world without being in their life somehow. I’m not my father, and I swore I never would be.

  “Not to mention you’ll have to put up with its mother for at least eighteen years.”

  “Yeah, there’s that. Do you know any of the women I’ve been with over the past few years who I’d even consider spending a week with?”

  He seemed to be thinking about it by the expression on his face, which looked like he’d sucked a lemon. “Not a chance. But maybe I can help.”

  “No offense, but don’t think you’re going to be helpful. My kid will end up with a stripper for a mother if I let you help. I need someone who’s going to have her own life and talents in an industry that’s not going to tarnish my kid’s life. My dad will shit a solid brick if I bring some pole dancer into the family, although I’m sure that’s what he expects.”

  He placed his drink on the table in front of us and undid the button on his cuffs and began rolling up his sleeves. “With your predicament, there’s a place for you on my dating site. I’ve had a lot of luck, and that’s partly because of a few of my strategies, which is why I need panty melters like you on my team.”

  “I’m not sure if I’m the guy you’re looking for.”

  “Oh please! Ladies swoon over you, and when a guy like you gives them attention, they tell their friends. Then their friends come and sign up.”

  “So, I’m going through the biggest dilemma in my life and you want to pimp me out on your site?”

  “Hear me out, man. You have a year to find a girl to knock up and produce an heir. I mean, it’ll be like having your very own catalog of hot potential baby mamas to work, though. Plus you’d really be helping me out,” he pleaded.

  “One things for sure, you know how to make an opportunity out of anything,” I said, though the idea was actually a pretty good one. I mean, I was going to have to get a move on or I’d end up losing my inheritance.

  “Hey, I’m a business man after all. There’s bound to be at least a couple of girls on there that want to have kids anyway, right? This will just help you focus. And your focus will help me get more traffic on my site. I mean, it’s really a win-win.”

  Hazen had always had a way of talking me into things, ever since we had been kids. He was a salesman through and through, and everything was a pitch to him.

  “What exactly is it you’re looking for me to do?” I sighed.

  “First of all, I’ll give you access to everything. You’ll be an admin, without letting anyone know you’re an admin.”

  “Why wouldn’t I want them to know?”

  “Because to them, you’ll need to put yourself forward as a potential candidate. I want you to mingle, flirt, flatter; do what you do best.”

  “I don’t have to meet them all up for dates, do I?”

  “I don’t care what you do to them, for them, with them. Hell, you might find a few girls on the side. Just don’t let them know that you’re working for me. I need these girls to feel special enough to brag to their friends. If they think a handsome fella like yourself is interested, they’ll spend more time on the site.”

  “I don’t want them messaging me all day. I just want to focus on finding myself a girl.”

  “That’s when you log out and turn off your notifications. I’ll handle the rest. Piece of cake, and I have a few other plants, both male, and female who work for me. Two of them are a married couple. Get this shit, the husband tells me it’s a total turn on for him. To each his own.”

  “Wow, that’s a fight waiting to happen.”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure how long they’ll last, which is why I need a guy like you. You’d love it, and you’ll be getting so many pictures of tits and ass. Your spank bank is going to be overflowing.”

  “It is a little empty now that I’d deleted all of Terri’s nudes.” I’d cleared everything from my camera and everything she’d sent to my phone and email. The only pictures I had left in my porn file were stock photos of strangers.

  “Dude, you didn’t.” He shook his head.

  “Like I could stroke my cock to them and not hear her annoying voice anyway. Trust me; I’m better off without them.”

  “If you say so. You could have passed them along to your buddy, just saying.” He chuckled as I gave him a warning glare and then he held his hands up as if to show he surrendered.

  “With your site, I’m sure you’re doing OK in the pussy department.”

  He pulled his phone out of his pocket as it pinged a strange bell tone. “That’s our trademark notification. You hear one of those, and you know someone’s interested. Lots of times, the girls send their tit pics in the first message. That’s how you know they’re DTF.”

  “DTF as in down to fuck?” I wondered how many he was banging.

  He glanced at his phone. “Oh yeah. Check this one out.” He turned his phone to reveal an image of a woman baring her breasts for him. “But look, she’s already sent me this.” He ran his finger over the screen and turned the phone again. The image was of the same woman, her legs were spread wide, and she was at least three fingers deep.

  “Damn, man. Are sleeping with her?”

  “Not yet, I’m seeing a different one at the moment, but she’s next.”

  “What are you two talking about? Don’t tell me you’re preying on those unsuspecting women on your site?” Megan walked out from the guest room doorway where she’d been listening and crossed the living room to lean over Hazen’s shoulder. She took the phone and got a peek at the image before the screen darkened. “You’re such a pig!” She slapped his shoulder.

  “How am I a pig? I have my intentions listed, and these girls send me the pictures all on their own. I don’t even have to solic
it them.” Hazen stuffed his phone in his pocket, and she nudged him.

  “You’re still a pig.” She curled her lip, and he chuckled.

  “You know you want me,” he said, his eyes following her as she walked around and plopped down in the chair beside him.

  “In your dreams, loser.” She stuck up her middle finger, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  I gave Hazen stink eye, but gave him mercy. My sister could take care of herself where he was concerned, and only because he was my friend and known my sister as long as he’d known me, did I let him have fun with her. Anyone else and I was busting heads.

  “Come closer and say that, sweetheart.” He rubbed his foot up her calf, and she kicked it away.

  “I don’t want your hands on me, much less, your nasty feet.” She folded her arms. “What’s this all about anyway? Why are you trying to lure my brother to your site? He’s got enough problems with finding a decent girl as it is. I highly doubt one of those chicks in your skank bank are going to be any better than the last one he dated.”

  I got up and walked to the bar to myself a drink. “He wants me to help him with his site.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Confidence builder. Lure. Fluffer.” Hazen laughed.

  “You called it an ‘admin’. I’m not doing anything you’re calling fluffer.” I took a long pull from my stiff drink.

  As I rejoined them, my sister made a face. “What kind of an admin and what the hell do you mean?”

  “There are some women who don’t get hits. Whether it’s their looks or personality, some are total train wrecks and get ignored.”

  My sister opened her mouth to speak, but Hazen held up a finger. “Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not my fault no one talks to them, but with your brother on board, they’ll at least get a little friendly conversation and stick around longer.”

  “That’s horrible. You want him to give those women false hope?” She shook her head. My sister gave me a disappointed look that reminded me of when she’d talk about our brother, Daniel.

  “I’d think that some hope is better than none, and most of these women just want someone to boost their confidence. We don’t have to lead them on in any way. There’s no harm in being polite. But you have to realize, the women on the site outnumber the men six to one. There’s always going to be someone who gets overlooked.”