"What?" she asked with a laugh.
"Move to New York. You can have your own place in the same building. That way I could see you all the time and make sure you're okay."
We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Livie's two kids were running between the two yards. They ran up to my mom and starting chattering on about something the one had done to the other. I couldn't keep up with what they were saying. I heard the screen door slam just as Livie came down from the porch. She stopped as soon as she saw me. What do you have to say, I thought? I wasn't walking away. She was going to have to be in my presence. There was nothing she could do about it.
"You two better get in that house and eat your lunch," she said.
The little boy kept talking to my mom as if Livie wasn't speaking.
"I will count to three, Jack," she said sternly. "Same goes for you too, April. Get moving."
Both kids let out a huff before walking back toward the house. Livie stood up a little taller and pulled her shoulders back before walking over to my mom and hugging her.
"You should hear this guy, Olivia," my mom said. "He wants me to move to New York so he can make sure I'm okay. Doesn't he know we're small town girls? I'd never go back to a big city life again. I've done that. It's not for me. Olivia can watch after me. She's not going anywhere. She can give you a report on how I'm doing. I can have her call you every week if you want. Maybe you could just visit every year or two."
I heard Livie take a deep breath in before letting it out slowly.
"Did you get everything planned this morning?" Livie asked. "You know I'm here if you need anything, Carol. What do you need me to do?"
"We're having dinner here after the funeral. Do you think you could make some desserts and things like that?" my mom asked.
"Of course," Livie said with a smile as she rubbed my mom's arm. "Do you know what you want?"
"What about some cookies," I said. "Make the ones you used to make for me. They were my favorite. Do you remember which ones I'm talking about. They had chocolate chips in them, but they were different."
She nodded her head.
"Yes," she said in a sad tone. "I remember."
She hugged my mom again.
"I better get back inside," she said. "I just came home to make lunch for the kids. I need to get back to the bakery. Let me know if you want something else, Carol. I'll take care of the desserts and breads."
"You came home to make lunch for them," I said without thinking. "Couldn't your mom have done that?"
"That's not my mom's job," she said with an edge to her voice.
"Great," my mom said. "Just let me know how much everything is, Olivia. Thank you so much."
"Don't worry about the money," Livie said. "It's the least I can do. Let me know if you need me to do anything else."
Livie walked back toward her house. My mom turned and walked up the porch steps.
"She's such a good mother to those two kids," she said. "I don't know what they'd do without her. They definitely couldn't count on their father for anything."
Chapter 5
Olivia
I leaned back on my elbows and looked up at the stars. The kids were finally asleep, and I needed to clear my mind. When I walked passed Z's house, I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. His bedroom light was on. The memory of me throwing a small rock up to get him to come outside made my feet move faster.
My spot in the woods was still the same. It was my place to be away from everything. There were new chairs and a table added over the years, and it was still my favorite place. I had so many memories. So much had run through my mind in that exact spot. I'd been through some rough moments alone there. It was a place I could release all of my emotions without the rest of world knowing I wasn't as strong as they thought I was. I had spent hours upon hours there before I ever met Z, while I knew him, and after he was gone. It was warm during the day, but the chill running through the air made me shiver.
I thought I was over him. My marriage to Mike lasted only nine years. During that time, I never asked Carol about Z. I didn't want to know anything about his new life. It didn't include me in any kind of way. That was all I needed to know. I had searched the internet a few times out of curiosity, but that was after my divorce. Mike wasn't the one for me. Everything was good in the beginning. When his true colors began to show, I was already pregnant and worried about doing it on my own. After our second child was born, some things happened and I knew I needed to leave. My dad had only been gone a few months when I moved in with my mom. It helped her with the bills, and neither of us wanted to be alone. She watched the kids while I worked, but I had always gone home to feed them each day. Some days were harder than others, but I knew my life was better without Mike in it. He tried several times to get me to go back to him. That would never happen. He said he would be a better man. I remembered my dad saying that many times after knocking the shit out of my mom. Mike didn't even make an effort to see the kids, and he rarely gave me anything for them. My mom gave me money for certain things they needed. I didn't know much about her finances but figured she'd gotten insurance money when my dad passed away. Mike's time was spent drinking or driving by my house to see if I was home. I don't think he ever knew I had seen him. He'd never do anything stupid to hurt the kids. They were the ones I worried about. I knew he loved them. He just needed to get his head out of his ass and realize they needed him in their lives.
When I looked around at the stars and listened to the sounds of the night, my mind went back to Zander. I never expected to see him for the funeral. His relationship with his dad was not a good one. He always felt like his dad never loved him. It was like he was never good enough. It was true. His dad always made him feel less than he was. He made shitty comments about how Zander would never amount to anything. I couldn't blame Z from wanting to get away from him. It didn't change the fact that I was devastated when he left and cut me out of his life. We had been best friends since the day his family moved in next to mine. I would never forget that day. When I took him to my favorite spot, he made fun of me. It didn't take long before he was even going there alone to think. We spent four amazing years together in those woods. It was something I would never forget. Those were the best years of my life. So much happened between us back there. It quickly turned into our place instead of mine. I didn't mind though. He was my favorite person in the entire world. We talked, laughed, sang, cried, and yelled. There were so many special moments there and a few not so special ones as well. I smiled when I thought about how I had lost my virginity in that spot. It only happened once, but it was the best day of my life. I would never forget my first time.
It was prom night. We had both gone with different people. I went with some jackass from the football team. The only reason I did was that Zander had agreed to go with one of the cheerleaders. I wasn't going to stay home while he was off having fun. Of course the guy expected me to have sex with him. I didn't know him well enough for that. He was pissed when I told him there was no way I was doing it with him. Of course he said some things that weren't so nice as he dropped me off. I got out of his car and slammed the door shut before taking off to my spot to release my emotions. I wasn't sure how long I had sat there crying before Z found me. He reached out and took my hand to pull me to my feet. When he wrapped his warm arms around me, I melted into him.
"That fucker's lucky he's still walking," he snapped.
"What?" I asked.
Z pulled back from me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs before looking into my eyes.
"You didn't do anything with him, did you? Please tell me you didn't let that asshole touch you," he said.
His tone was different. I could tell he didn't think I had done anything. I could also hear the question as if maybe I had.
"No," I snapped. "Of course not. I've barely even talked to him. When he started getting all grabby, I let him know I wasn't doing it. He brought me home and dropped me off. Of course he made
a few rotten comments first. I never should have gone. Why are you asking me that? I thought you knew me."
His hands were on my cheeks. We were so close. I could feel his warmth on my face with each breath he took.
"I knew he was lying," he said. "I just needed to hear you say it. He went back to the dance and told people that he fucked you and dumped you off. I was so pissed. When I took off for the door, he was watching me. I stopped in front of him and punched him in the face. Then I had a few things to say to him. You should have seen the shock on his face. Are you okay?"
I leaned into his hand on my cheek and nodded. He looked into my eyes the entire time. When his lips came down on mine, I thought I was dreaming. They were so soft and warm. His kiss was so caring and gentle. His tongue licked across my bottom lip and I clenched my legs from the feelings that were shooting through me. Zander wasn't a jock or a nerd. He was in a class of his own. The girls all chased after him. He was very cute and had a nice ass. I had to give him that. The girls liked the mystery of him. He didn't talk a lot and kept his feelings to himself. Maybe they thought he was a bad boy. I really wasn't sure what it was. He never took shit from anyone. It didn't matter how big or small they were. He would stand up against anyone that pissed him off. I was sure he'd been sexual with several girls in school and wasn't sure how I felt about him finding out I wasn't as active. I wasn't active at all, ever, with anyone.
When he took my bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it, I couldn't help the whimper from escaping me. His tongue went between my lips, and I couldn't believe it was really happening. I ran my fingers through his dark hair as my tongue found his. He held me tight with one arm while his other was on the back of my head pulling me closer to him. Our tongues danced together in perfect rhythm. It was better than I could have ever imagined. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him lead me. His kiss was so loving and passionate. I pulled back to catch my breath. Being that close to him was doing things to me. My entire body felt like it was on fire from the burning desire I had for him. He was my best friend. I cared so much about him. When his arms let me go, I groaned from his loss. I hadn't realized how warm he was keeping me.
Z got the blankets and the radio out that we kept back there. It really was my favorite place. Nobody ever came out there. I never had to worry about someone sneaking up on me. He was the only one I shared it with. It had been our place for almost four years. As he laid the blankets out and turned the radio on, I thought about how he was going to be leaving for college. He wanted out of there so badly. I had hoped that he'd have changed his mind, but he was just as determined as he was that first day I met him.
He pulled me back into his arms, pulling me from my thoughts of him leaving. I looked into his eyes and knew that he was the one I wanted to be with the first time. He would take care of me. I knew he would never hurt me. It was my only chance. Once he left, I was sure I would never have that chance again. I reached up and pulled his face to mine. My lips crushed against him, and I heard a rumble come from his chest. He kissed me much harder that time. It was different than the first time. I almost felt like he was claiming me. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. I knew he wanted the same thing I did. He was waiting for me to make the first move. My hands slipped his suit jacket from his shoulders before moving to unbutton each button of his dress shirt. When I moved it down his body, my fingers brushed his nipples, down his chest, and across his abs. His skin felt so good beneath my hands. When I undid the button of his pants and unzipped him, I felt his stomach tighten. I looked into his eyes when I pushed his pants and boxers down. His erection sprang free, and I gasped. My mind started to wander. Would I be good enough for him? Would we still be friends? Did he want me as much as I wanted him? He took my cheeks in his hands.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," he whispered.
We were both eighteen and I was sure I would never have the opportunity again. He was the one I wanted to give myself to. I wasn't passing up what I wanted.
"Oh, I want to more than you know," I said, as I turned for him to unzip my dress.
Each inch of the zipper felt like an hour. When he reached up and slipped my dress from my shoulders, I took a deep breath. It fell to the ground, and he leaned in to kiss my neck.
"Turn around, Livie," he said in a breathy voice.
Was he nervous? There was no way he was nervous, I thought. It was me that was trembling at the thought of him touching me. I wanted his hands on me so badly.
"Come on, beautiful," he said. "I want to see you."
Slowly, I turned around and heard his breath catch when his eyes traveled down and back up my body.
"Fuck," he whispered.
He moved forward and slammed his lips to mine. I felt his hands shake as he removed my bra. His mouth moved slowly down neck. I closed my eyes as he kissed my bare breast. When his tongue licked across my nipple, I felt heat shoot straight to my core. I was wet and ready for anything he had planned. My thighs clenched together and I shook. His warm mouth took my nipple in. His breath was warm and comforting. He swirled his tongue around my nipple before sucking and moving to the other side. I sucked in a huge breath when his mouth traveled south down my belly.
He fell to his knees in front of me. It took all I had to keep my emotions in check. I was so happy but so afraid of letting him down.
"Relax, Livie," he said. "You know how much I care about you."
He took the waist of my panties in his fingers and slowly slid them down and off my legs. My hands moved to cover my body, but he took them in his before I could do it.
"You're so sexy," he said. "Please tell me you want this, baby. I want you so badly."
"I do," I said.
I looked down into his eyes. There was such a connection between us in that moment. I wanted to drop to my knees and hold him. His finger moved between my legs and I heard him groan.
"You're so wet," he said.
I smiled but didn't say a word. He sucked his finger into his mouth before moving forward. When his tongue licked across my dripping pussy, I was so lost. My head fell back and my eyes closed. He reached out to hold my legs that were shaking. His finger rubbed my clit as his tongue soaked up every bit of wetness that dripped from me. When his tongue entered me, I cried out.
"Fuck, Z," I whimpered.
He continued moving his tongue out and back in. I felt like I was going to explode. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like for his cock to fill me. His finger began rubbing with more pressure and his tongue began moving into me deeper and faster. When I opened my eyes and looked down to see him looking up at me with passion in his eyes, I exploded around his tongue and trembled in his hands.
"Z," I cried. "Oh, fuck."
My body slid down to his, and he wrapped his arms around me. When he took my face in his hands and claimed my mouth, I moaned. I wasn't sure if it was the taste on his lips from me or knowing what he had just done, but I couldn't help but want more of him. My hand wrapped around his cock. I stroked up and down his thick shaft. He growled into my mouth and I shook. I could feel the vibration from his chest. He took my shoulders in his hands and leaned me back until I was lying down on the blanket. He stood up on his knees and looked down at me.
"I want you, Livie," he said. "I need to be inside of you."
I shook my head as I watched his movements. He reached over and got something out of his pocket. My eyes widened, as I watched him roll the condom down his rock-hard shaft. He smiled down at me. His tongue licked across his bottom lip.
"Please," I said.
He gave me a questioning look.
"I need you inside of me, Z," I said.
He hovered over me and looked down into my eyes as he entered me slowly. When he broke through my barrier, taking my virginity, I winced then nodded for him to continue. He continued until he filled me completely. I felt like he was stretching me to the limit. When he pulled out and entered me again, I moan and wrapped my arms around his nec
k. Our eyes stayed locked together. It was impossible to look away from him. He began moving in and out of me a little faster and harder. My legs wrapped around his waist and he hit the most amazing spot deep inside of me and I cried out loudly. It pushed him to move even faster and thrust into me even harder. My hands held tight to him and I felt my fingers dig into his back.
"Fuck, Livie," he moaned. "You're so damn tight. It feels amazing being inside of you. I need to feel you come around my cock. You feel so good, baby."
My hips pulled off the ground as I met his thrusts. His bare skin felt so good on mine. It was like a dream come true being with him. I would never tell him how I felt about him. Nothing would even develop between us. He was leaving and I wasn't. There was no way I would've ever traded being with him in that moment, not for anything in the world.
His hands were next to my head. I could see his arms flex each times he moved into me. It took all I had not to close my eyes, but I didn't want to lose the connection between us. He slammed into me and I cried out over and over. Our moans and cries mixed together in the cool night air. I gripped tighter to his back and lifted my hips to his. He plunged in deeper than he had yet and I flew over the edge. His name left my lips so many times. I felt my pussy tighten around him just before I felt his cock twitch as he came inside of me, and his mouth came down on mine.
We were both covered in sweat. His body slowly came down on top of mine. I held him tight. He rolled us to side. When he pulled out of me, I felt such a loss. I didn't want the moment to be over. I needed him with me. My emotions were filling my entire being. I didn't want him to leave me, not ever. When I rolled to face the other way, tears began to fill my eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the blanket over our bodies. I felt his breathing even out and knew he was asleep.
"I love you so much, Z," I whispered into the night.
A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) Page 3
