A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance)

by Cummin, Sharon

  We finished our conversation, and I hung up my phone. I rested my head in my arms on the table in front of me and cried. It was a very sweet thing to do. How many times did he need to hear that I didn't need his money? Did he do it out of guilt, I wondered? Or did he really want me to have my dreams come true? Little did he know, he was my dreams. I didn't know that before either. He was what I wanted. Having him so far away was tearing me up. I'd lost him once. The second time wasn't going to be any easier than the first.

  I couldn't decide if I was mad that he had done it or if I was happy that he cared enough after all those years to do that for me. The thought of him having to pay my way wasn't a good one. I wanted that bakery more than I wanted anything growing up. He was right. I said I was going to own it one day, and I did. I thought that I had done it myself. I hadn't. He had paid for half of it. In a way, it really upset me that he had to swoop in and save the day. I couldn't help but think about how he had done it without anyone else knowing. My mom had no idea. My tears began to flow faster when I realized that he really was there for me the entire time. I just didn't know it. The whole time, I thought he didn't care about me anymore. I thought I was just someone to spend time with until he left. I thought he had left me. None of it was true.

  When my employees came in, I was still in the same spot. My baking was done. I was happy I had finished before I made that call. When I looked up at the girl in front of me, I knew I needed some rest. Carla looked at me and laughed.

  "I'm going home. I'll be back after lunch. Will you guys be okay?"

  I realized that I had taken on way to much since Mike's accident. It was hitting me like a ton of bricks. Carla was so excited I was leaving her in charge. She had been with me the longest and reminded me of myself. Her dream was to own a bakery as well. She would joke about how young I was and how she would be old before she would be able to get me to sell it. We would sit and talk for hours about the business and things we liked making. She was just as passionate as I was.

  When I walked in the door at home, my mom looked up at me.

  "I need a nap," I said.

  She nodded and pointed up the stairs.

  When I crawled under the covers, it was ten o'clock. I opened my eyes when I heard a noise. My mom was standing at the edge of the bed. I looked over at the clock I thought I had just looked at. It was four o'clock.

  "I have to get back to the bakery. I told Carla I'd be back after lunch. The kids need lunch."

  "I made them something," she said, as she sat down on the bed. "You need to slow down, Olivia. You can't keep this up. All you do is run. Most of what you do is for other people. Between Carol and Mike you're running like crazy. I think you need to slow down before you make yourself sick. You've had dark circles under your eyes, and you've looked exhausted. I know you've been running yourself ragged. You have been tired as soon as you've gotten up lately. I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get upset with me."

  "What?" I asked, as I flopped back down on my pillow.

  "Um," was all she said.

  "Spit it out, mom," I snapped. "I've got to get back to the bakery."

  "Could you be pregnant?" she asked.

  "Mom," I yelled.

  "Don't get upset," she said. "I know you've taken on a lot. That is probably the cause of all of this. I know you won't go near Mike in that way, and I haven't heard you talk about another man. I'm just asking if it is possible. This is exactly how you were when you were pregnant with Jack. Don't be mad. I'm not saying you've been with anyone."

  As soon as she said that, a light bulb went off in my head. Oh shit, I thought.

  "Forget that I mentioned it. I knew it was a stupid idea. I knew you hadn't been with anyone. I'm sorry for asking," she began babbling.

  She turned around and walked out of my room. I knew she was worried I would be offended by what she was saying. She knew I hadn't been around anyone. Maybe she thought I had done something with Mike. That would never happen. I had only been with one man, and it was definitely an in the heat of the moment experience.

  I quickly got ready and headed out the door for work. On my way to the pharmacy, I realized I couldn't stop there. If I bought a pregnancy test, the whole gossip circle would have been all over it. I continued driving an additional twenty minutes to the next city. It was much bigger, and nobody there would care. I bought the test, put it in my purse, and went to the bakery.

  There was no way I was waiting and went straight for the bathroom. I know those tests only took a few minutes. Why does each of those minutes feel like hours, I wondered? I looked at my phone to see that the time had passed and walked over to where I had set it on the ledge. I took a few deep breaths before I had enough courage to look down at it. When I did, my eyes widened and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I sat back down with the test in my hands and stared at the lines.

  My mind was going a million miles a minute. He didn't want kids? How could I tell him? What was I going to do? I was a single mom. I owned a business. I had two children. I lived with my mom. The dad didn't want kids. He lived in another state. I was helping take care of my ex. The dad wasn't even my boyfriend. We had only done it once since he had come home. He had just come back into my life. He left me before.

  A knock at the door startled me.

  "You okay?" Carla asked.

  "I'll be right out," I said, as I shoved the test and all of the evidence back into my purse.

  The rest of the day, I was a mess. Maybe the test was wrong, I thought. I needed to know for sure. There was no way I was telling him anything unless I knew for sure. I couldn't go to my normal doctor. Zander knew him. They had a little thing going on with my medical bills that I didn't even know about before. I found a doctor in the next town and made an appointment.

  Maybe Zander would do what he did last time he left, I thought. What were the chances of him coming back again? He'd probably wait another sixteen years.

  Chapter 25

  Zander

  I tried so hard to get back to normal life, but I couldn't do it. All I thought about was her. My appointment book was loaded down, and I was seeing more patients than ever. It wasn't helping. I missed her so damn bad. I even missed her bossy, sarcastic attitude. It surprised me how often I thought about the kids. I thought that would at least fade a little bit. When I was at work, I'd wonder what they were doing. I was even working out so damn hard just so I could try and exhaust myself. It didn't help. I couldn't sleep. I tried not to call them, but I couldn't help it. I would find the dumbest reasons to call during the day to talk to the kids. Livie text me every night.

  She was so busy helping with Mike. It made me wonder if she would want to give him another chance. He told her he was going to change. His life was going to be different. I had to wonder if she still had feelings for him. She was so worried about his dad's health through everything that was going on. There was a possibility the man was going to lose his house and business over his son doing something incredibly stupid. I knew Livie. She was going to help him the best she could. I knew she was already doing so much for my mom. Livie always put everyone else first. I didn't want her to put the kids and her life on the line for Mike's dad. It was for her. The reason I decided to take care of it was for her. I knew she would worry so much less if she knew Mike's dad was going to be okay.

  My house was so quiet. It was no different than before I left for the funeral. Nothing had changed in New York. Everything was just as busy. Why did everything seem so quiet and lonely, I wondered? If nothing had changed, then why the hell did it seem like everything had. All I had to do was be around her a few days and my world was upside down. That was why I had never gone home. I knew what she could do to me.

  Eating dinner alone was awful. I'd sit in front of the television just to hear the noise. Those two kids grew on me so much more than I had planned. I wanted to hear their little, sweet voices. I wanted to read them stories and see their smiles when I tucked them in.

 
I was sitting alone watching cartoons one Saturday morning. They were most likely watching the same ones. I could see them sprawled out on the carpet in front of the television or one of them leaning against each of my sides. It was too quiet in my house. I couldn't stand it. The only sounds beside the television were the ones of my housekeeper doing her weekly cleaning. It was a welcome distraction.

  When my phone rang and I saw it was their house number, I got excited. I said hello and was so happy to hear April's sweet voice on the other end of the line. She sounded nervous when she started talking. It made me worry that something was wrong. I could tell she wanted to ask me something. Why was she afraid? I never did anything to make her feel that way. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and pull her onto my lap, but she wasn't there. She was hours away. I never wanted those kids to feel worried when they talked to me.

  "What is it, April?" I asked. "I can tell there's something you want to say. You can say anything you want to me, baby girl. I will always be there for you."

  "Jack's afraid to go to school. He's nervous. I told him I would call you. We know you're really busy. I told him you would probably say no, but he asked me to try. We want to know if you can take us to school on our first day this year. It's starting Monday morning. If you can't, I understand. I told him I would ask you. Grandma said I could call you. She said not to bother you very long. I told her I would hurry. She said you work a lot and this is your time to rest. What are you doing?"

  My heart melted instantly. I told the two of them I would be there whenever they needed me. Her asking me to take them to school went straight to my heart. It made me feel so good that they would want me to be there on their first day. I honestly felt honored. How could I tell them no after I told them I would be there? I would look like a liar. There was no way I could fly there for Monday morning. What was I was going to tell her?

  "You can call for anything. It doesn't mean I will always say yes, but I want you to ask me anything you want. If you need anything, it's okay to call. I don't care if it's the weekend or during the week. I'm watching the same cartoon as you. I can hear it through the phone."

  She went on about how excited she was that we were watching the same thing even though we weren't together. We stayed on the phone and talked about what was happening through the entire show. I missed those two and their mom. When I heard Jack in the background, I couldn't tell her no. He was asking if she'd asked me yet and what I said. I could hear the nervous sound in his voice. How could I let him down? He was scared, and I was the one he wanted there. It made me think about my dad and what he would have done. He wouldn't have been there. I couldn't be him. There was no way.

  "Let me see what I can do. Don't mention it to anyone yet. I have to check some things out first," I said.

  "Okay," she said with excitement in her voice. "I'll hang up so you can go figure it out. We miss you."

  She hung up before I could even say goodbye. They were the most wonderful kids in the world. Mike was so lucky to be there father, I thought. I had even shocked myself with that thought. Thinking someone was lucky to be a father when I didn't even want kids. What were they doing to me, I wondered?

  I got up from the couch and hurried to my computer to look at my calendar for that week. Appointments for Monday could be shifted. There was nothing pressing that day. I got online to see if I could find a plane ticket. They were outrageous of course. That's how it went when you tried to buy one last minute. Without thinking twice, I purchased the ticket. There was no way I was passing up an opportunity to be there when it was that important to them.

  After a few minutes, I thought about what I was doing. If I show up, they're going to think I'll be there at a moment's notice. I never wanted to disappoint them, but I would have to talk to them. They needed to know that sometimes my schedule couldn't be changed. I wanted them to know that just because I would have to miss some things wouldn't mean I cared for them any less. Then I thought about Livie and hoped she wouldn't be pissed that I was flying there for them without mentioning it first. What if she wanted to take them to school alone, I thought? Would she let me go with her? Would she tell them no? It was too late. I had already bought the ticket and emailed my office. It was a risk I was willing to take. Even if she was pissed the entire time, at least I'd get to see her.

  I took off for my room like a kid on Christmas running for the tree. It was unbelievable even to me. I couldn't wait to pack my bag. I was throwing clothes into the bag and had to laugh when I noticed all I was packing were jeans. What a difference that family made in me. My life was so much better with them in it. I knew in that moment that I never wanted them to not be there. The three of them consumed my every thought. They were it. I wanted them in my life. I never wanted to let them go.

  My phone rang from the other room and I yelled out to see if my housekeeper could grab it. I only had so long to get out of the house and to the airport. I heard her say hello from the other room. She said it more than once. I never heard her say anything else.

  "What happened?" I yelled out.

  "They hung up," she yelled back. "I could hear them on the other line. When I said hello, I heard them hang up."

  "Did it say who it was?" I asked.

  "Livie," she answered.

  Oh shit! I could only imagine what she thought. She knew I had been with women. When she came to New York to see me, she saw me kissing someone. She picked up my phone when I was home and saw a text message from a woman. She was probably so pissed. No she wasn't, I thought. Why would she be? She didn't want me. She even made a comment about me finding someone to change my mind about having a family. If she cared about me, she wouldn't have said that, would she? I had no idea what she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted her, and I was going to show her just how much.

  The cab was waiting outside to take me to the airport. I grabbed my bags and ran out the door. There was no way I was calling her. It wouldn't be long. I didn't want to ruin anything. It would be better to talk in person. That way she couldn't hang up on me. I had the cab driver make a stop on the way to the airport. He would still have me there on time.

  It was pretty early. She would still be at work when I got there. I called my mom. She was the only one that knew I was coming.

  My bags were already with me when I got off of the plane. I took off for the arrival doors to find my mom waiting in her car. There was a lot I needed to do in a short amount of time. I drove so we could get around faster. She stayed with me while I went to a few stores.

  "What are you doing?" she asked with a disapproving tone.

  "You'll find out," I said.

  "You know," she began.

  I wasn't having it. She wasn't going to tell me one more time what I needed to do. I didn't care what she thought. It was my life, and I was living it.

  "I don't want to hear one single negative word about Livie or anyone else. Not a word. Don't you dare tell her I'm here. This is my life, mom. I won't have you telling me who's good enough for me. I never should have listened to you in the first place. You live your life. You need to let me live mine."

  The kids popped into my mind. They would see me for sure. I couldn't have that. They would give me being there away. I called Livie's mom and told her I was there. She was so surprised but played it cool when I told her I didn't want anyone to know yet. I asked her to keep the kids busy while I got some stuff back to the woods and then got back to the house. She probably thought I was crazy but played along with me.

  I moved as fast as I could to get everything done and get back into my house without being seen. When Livie pulled up and walked into her house, it took all I had not to go outside and pull her into my arms. She looked exhausted and defeated. I didn't realize just how much helping everyone else was taking a toll on her. That needed to change. She needed to put herself first.

  When I saw her walk toward my house, I jumped. She was checking on my mom. Why had I not thought of that? I warned my mom that she had better not gi
ve it away and grabbed anything that wasn't there before I got there. I took off up the stairs and dumped it all in my room. She came in and talked to my mom. Something seemed off between them, and I couldn't help but wonder what it was. The sound of her voice was music to my ears. She sounded tired and sad. I needed to take that away from her. Whatever it was, I was going to do everything I could to make it better.

  Chapter 26

  Olivia

  When I got home, I was already exhausted. I went through my nightly routine of checking on Carol, dinner, dishes, baths, bed, and finally bed for me. All I could think about was Zander and that woman answering his phone. He hadn't told me he had feelings for me or anything, but I still had a sliver of hope that we would end up together. I was so wrong. The kids cared for him so much. They seemed to really be connecting. I know they really liked talking to him every day. So did I. Between all of the chaos and crazy things I had going on, his texts and calls were what excited me the most.

  The minute that woman answered the phone, I was brought back to that day I went to visit him and saw him kissing a woman. He admitted that he wasn't perfect and had been with women over the years. He didn't lie about it. I didn't ask him if he was seeing anyone. I guess I should have. Maybe I shouldn't have. He never said he wanted to be with me. We never said we were together or anything. It was my fault for having false hope.

  I had been to the doctor and had the verification that I was indeed pregnant. I even had the ultrasound picture to prove it. When I called to hear his voice, hoping it would help me, she answered the phone.

  I guess I had hoped that he would want the baby too. He was with someone earlier that day. What was I going to tell him? How was I going to tell him? Maybe he wouldn't find out. I'm sure he didn't even remember that we hadn't used protection. I was so deep into the moment when we were together, I honestly hadn't even thought about it. He made it clear he didn't want kids. Even the last time he was home. If I told him, he'd shower me with money to help take care of the baby. I didn't want his money. I wanted him, and not because of the baby. I'd always wanted him. He was the only man I ever felt that way about, but it wasn't going to happen. I knew I needed to tell him. Even if he wanted nothing to do with being a dad. He was going to be upset. I just wasn't sure how upset. There was no way I was going to tell him over the phone. He deserved to know in person.