Sweet Vengeance

by Cindy Stark

  She grasped the sleeve of his black T-shirt, ready to beg. "We could—"

  "No. You're better off without me." He opened the door and climbed out. "The car's yours, too." The sound of his door shutting shattered her heart.

  Stunned, she watched as he walked behind the car and onto the sidewalk, blending with the crowd of people that moved in the opposite direction. No, her mind screamed. No.

  She shut off the car's engine and yanked out the keys. She scrambled out the passenger door and quickly scanned for Jase's head bobbing among the other people.

  She couldn't see him. Her heart thundered in her ears. It wasn't going to end like this. She wouldn't let it. She was all set to run after him when Boo barked. The sound jolted her. She glanced at the sweet face looking at her from the back seat with expectant eyes.

  Jase had left his dog with her? On purpose? He wouldn't do that. She glanced down the street and then back at Boo. She couldn't leave him alone in the car to chase after Jase. Then the realization sank in. She'd found the answer. She didn't have to search for Jase. When he realized he'd left his dog behind, he'd come after her. Then she'd have one more chance to convince Jase they should give their love a shot. All she had to do was go to her apartment. He'd know how to find her there. The thought eased the aching in her chest a little bit. Everything would be okay.

  Though her insides shook with emotion, Allie climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. She might have thought she wanted to go off to college and have an important career, but what she really wanted had just deserted her on a busy street in Oregon.

  * * *

  Jase walked the streets of Portland for an hour before he called Robert to pick him up. He had vaguely been aware of the sun on his shoulders and the sounds of traffic and people rushing around him. More than once, he'd been tempted to find his way into a hotel bar and bury himself in a bottle of scotch to wash away the memory of the frightened look he'd seen on Allie's face as he'd left her. But he'd learned alcohol only prolonged the pain. Still he'd needed time alone, time to gain control of his thoughts and emotions.

  When Jase spied the familiar black sedan coming down the street, he headed toward the edge of the sidewalk. Robert pulled to the curb, and Jase got in.

  "I don't want to hear it." Jase clicked his seatbelt in place.

  Robert looked over his shoulder and merged into traffic. "I wasn't going to say a thing."

  "But you were thinking it."

  Robert shrugged. "Did you have to dump her like that?"

  "What else was I supposed to do, Robert?" It's not like he wanted to hurt Allie. "She needed the car with her in L.A. I needed to distract her so she wouldn't be able to find her way back to the ranch. My options were limited."

  "I'm not sure it was a good idea to send her down to California alone. She might run into trouble."

  "She's not alone. She's got Boo, and I bought her a Blackberry in case she needs to call for help."

  That earned him a surprise reaction from Robert. "You gave her your dog? Man, you love that dog."

  He loved Allie more. "Boo will help keep her safe. And Calvin's following her. He's going to stick around for a while to make sure she's settled and no one bothers her." Jase needed to know she was safe, too. He wasn't a completely heartless bastard.

  "Yeah, but she thinks she's alone."

  That was the part that really ripped his guts. He looked out the passenger window and into the mirror, watching the tall buildings fade into the distance. Jase's phone buzzed, and he glanced at the incoming text. Somewhere on a stretch of I-5, Calvin informed him, Allie was headed toward her new life. Away from Jase.

  She might think she was alone, but she wasn't. She'd taken his heart along with her.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Sacramento, California. September. Six years later.

  Would it ever end? Alexandra Fox slammed the door to her mailbox and turned the key. She surveyed the small empty lobby of her apartment building before she tucked her mail under her arm except for one offending envelope. Even though she'd lived in relative peace since she'd come to California, she never stopped being watchful. A product of her youth, she supposed. Most of the people who lived in the older building with her were hardworking and pretty honest, but she trusted no one.

  Allie slid her nail under the envelope flap and ripped it open. It was her monthly bank statement, and sure enough the regular five thousand dollar deposit was there. Again. Lots of people dreaded getting notices from the bank, but she was probably the only person on the planet who got angry over a statement showing extra money had been deposited into her account.

  It had to stop. She fumed up two flights of stairs, down the dim hallway with its faded blue carpet. Why couldn't the man leave her alone? Jase had forced her to leave Oregon. Someone needed to force him to let go, too.

  Her agitation increased when she dug for her keys causing the mail to slip from under her arm. The pile landed with a thud on the worn blue carpet, the latest addition of the Pottery Barn catalog resting with its pages splayed across the floor.

  She sighed. With inadequate lighting, she searched her purse and found the keys. She stuffed the appropriate one in the lock and turned it to no avail. Her curse echoed down the narrow hallway, and she was half-surprised her neighbors didn't peek out of their thin doors.

  Of course the lock wouldn't open. She pulled out the key, jammed it in again, and jerked it. Nothing. She twisted the knob and banged against the door, knowing full well it wouldn't help anything. Boo barked from the inside.

  One of these days, she'd get a new lock or maybe a whole new apartment. She'd recently finished her master's degree in criminal psychology and was due for another promotion at work at the local police department.

  If she were willing to use the five thousand Jase sent her each month, she'd be set, but she was determined to leave him in the past just like he'd wanted and continue on with her life. Someday soon, she'd figure out how to give back all his money.

  During her first years in college, she'd been extremely grateful to have it, but slowly, she'd worked toward a place where she could take care of herself. And now she didn't need him. Just how things should be. He didn't want her—she didn't need him. Perfect. Years ago, she'd thought she couldn't live without him, but it turned out she could.

  Allie stopped and took a calming breath. She couldn't keep letting her past upset her. Things were different now. She pulled the key out and inserted it gently. With a firm grip on the doorknob, she turned it slowly, and it opened.

  "Thank God," she said, as Boo rushed out into the hallway to greet her. He trampled the letters as she tried to retrieve them from under his feet. In his excitement, he shredded the front page of her catalog. "Oh, Boo." She picked up the tattered remains, frustrated beyond belief. How in the hell would she ever forget Jase when she lived with his dog, and he continued to send money each month?

  She hadn't thought of Boo as Jase's dog in a long time, but something kept causing memories of Jase to pop up more than usual.

  "Need some help?"

  She jerked around and then relaxed when her eyes skimmed over the familiar dark-haired man with a friendly smile. "Ryan. I didn't hear you come up." That "something" could very well be standing before her.

  "So much for being an alert cop. I could have taken you down." Her boyfriend took the garbled mail from her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "You were too busy wrestling with that mutt."

  "Don't call him a mutt. He's a sweetheart." Allie returned Ryan's friendly banter, but in the back of her mind, she acknowledged the fear she'd felt over not hearing him approach. She was ninety-nine percent confident she'd made a clean break from her life in Chicago. Jase had done an excellent job with her identity. The true test had been when she'd applied for the police academy. But how could she ever be completely sure some of Trasatti's men wouldn't show up one day? She couldn't afford to relax her guard. Ever.

  It wasn't so much that she was afraid of a conf
rontation, not like she'd been before. Her skills as a trained police officer gave her the confidence to handle most situations. It was being caught unaware, like she had the night Joey had been shot, that frightened her the most.

  Ryan followed her into the apartment and plopped down on the overstuffed sage-colored couch. She smiled as she shut the door on the outside world. Welcome to her haven.

  She'd used most of the extra money she'd earned from her job to upgrade and remodel her apartment until it was the warm and cozy home she'd always dreamed of. She loved the way the lavender and plum pillows accented her sofa and complimented the soft yellows in the adjoining kitchen.

  She headed for the bedroom to change from her professional attire. Her room had an old-fashioned, comfortable feel to it, with bleached woods and hushed pink tones. The fact she'd been able to create a comfortable and beautiful living space was one of her favorite accomplishments. It was a home. A real home.

  Her home.

  Allie chose comfortable jeans and a black cotton shirt. The color set off her dark hair and eyes, she thought, as she closed the bottom button of her shirt and started working her way up. She paused at the button between her breasts, catching a glimpse of the tattoo on her right breast that reminded her daily of her past. Whether it was painful or not, the time had come to have Joey's tattoo removed as well. She'd never be able to truly embrace the freedom from her past if she didn't get rid of everything.

  Except Boo. He was her dog now. And, damn, she'd have to get rid of the Blackberry Jase had given her. She loved that phone and all the little features that came with it. But she could ditch the one he'd given her and buy her own. The service for it couldn't be that expensive. And she really wanted to update it. Electronics were ancient after six years.

  Allie ran her hands through her short hair and finger-combed her spiky bangs. What a difference a few years could make. She was no longer a know-it-all teenager, but a woman who'd discovered life in the real world. She'd worked hard to improve her mind and her physical strength.

  Would Jase even recognize her now?

  She huffed in disgust and turned away from the mirror. Lately, he'd been invading every thought of every day. Normally, she could keep it to a handful of thoughts daily. Could it be Ryan's persistence they sleep together that made her think of Jase? She hadn't had sex with another man since Oregon. The loss of her first love, Joey, and the quick and painful flash of a love affair with Jase had made her more than a little careful when it came to men.

  Of course, there hadn't been anyone who'd tempted her until Ryan. He'd been extremely patient, but she'd run out of excuses. There was no logical reason why she shouldn't want to spend the night tucked in the arms of the handsome, caring man who waited for her in the other room.

  Instead of joining Ryan, she plopped on the edge of her bed. So why couldn't she forget Jase? There hadn't been a morning she hadn't woken and thought of him and the child she'd given away. What would they both be doing? Was Jase still in Chicago? Her daughter would be enrolled in first grade that year. If she saw her, would she recognize her?

  On and on the questions cycled through her mind. After a few years, her thoughts had shifted from wondering when she'd gain serenity in her life to if she'd ever have peace of mind. Then Ryan had shown up and temporarily distracted her. So why was she reverting to her old bad habits?

  When she returned from her bedroom, Ryan had made himself at home. He sat with his feet on her beautifully refurbished cherry wood coffee table, a beer in one hand and the remote wrapped around the other. At least, he'd had the brains to take off his shoes. She walked between him and the couch, forcing his feet to the ground while she searched for Boo's leash.

  With his tie missing and the top two buttons of his dress shirt opened, Ryan was attractive. Who was she kidding, he was always attractive. More so with his shirt undone. Working his way up the ranks of a pharmaceutical company, he was a woman's dream come true. There were a lot of similarities between his looks and Jase's, Allie admitted, but when it came to the man inside, Ryan was completely different. Warm and lighthearted, friendly and fun. He was everything she wished Jase could have been. There was only one problem. He wasn't Jase.

  "Want to come walk with me and Boo?"

  He flashed a quick glance at her. "Nah, I'm tired. I just want to catch a few minutes of the game."

  It didn't take long for Allie to return from taking Boo out for a bathroom break, but when she re-entered the apartment, she knew something was wrong. The TV was on mute. The remote and Ryan's beer had been abandoned on the coffee table. She was about to berate him for not using a coaster to protect the wood, but the look on his face stopped her.

  Ryan watched her with hard eyes, his lips pressed in a firm line. "Again?" He waved the bank notice.

  She swallowed, not wanting to fight with him, and yet a little peeved he'd looked at her mail. She unleashed Boo and walked past Ryan, snatching her bank statement from his hand. He followed her into the adjoining kitchen. With what she hoped was a telling gesture, she put it with the rest of her mail and set the pile on top of the fridge, away from him. "I've told you. I have no control over what he does."

  "There has to be a way to make him stop."

  "I've tried."

  "Can't you move your account?" The anger in his voice had softened to frustration as he took a step closer to her.

  She took a step back, bumping into the bar that separated the small kitchen from the living room. "I've already changed banks. Twice. You know this." And Jase had still managed to find her. Then again, what did she expect from someone who worked with criminals?

  "Why can't you ask someone in your office to help you? The police should have available resources to deal with this kind of thing."

  "No." She couldn't do that. She didn't want them knowing anything about her prior life. Jase had gone to great lengths to get her a new identity, one that passed police scrutiny. She wouldn't compromise it now. "I don't want people in the office to talk."

  He took her hand. "Why not?"

  She broke eye contact and tried to step around him.

  Ryan put an arm around her waist, stopping her. "Who is this guy...really? He's sending you five thousand a month. What kind of guy does that or can even afford to do that?"

  She had no choice but to look at Ryan. His frustration had faded to the warmth and sincerity that had first attracted her. He held her close enough that their breath mingled. But there was no spark, no heat licking at her, making her want to move deeper into his arms.

  "I've explained it before. He's a guy from my past. He was a wealthy man who helped me with college. I haven't seen or heard from him for six years. And I told you, I'm not spending the money. It means nothing to me." Besides, she'd already told her department during the background check they did on her, the monthly deposits were from a trust fund. To change her story now would be grounds for dismissal.

  "Yeah. I know. You've told me." He took her chin in his hand as though holding her there would force her to give him the answers he wanted. "But there has to be more. There's a reason he's still sending money." He studied her face. "It's his way of holding on to you."

  "That's a lie. He didn't want to hold on to me." A gush of emotion washed through her from hearing Ryan speak her long-buried wishes. She blinked several times. "He couldn't care less."

  An odd look crossed Ryan's face. "You still love him."

  "No." She couldn't. Not after how he'd abandoned her. She was smart enough to realize her future happiness stood in front of her. "I love you, Ryan." At least, she wanted to. Given time, she knew she would.

  He held her face, studying her, and then crushed his lips against hers. He slipped one hand behind her head, the other one around her waist, pulling her tight against him. She couldn't breathe.

  She tried to kiss him back, tried to mimic his passion, but he'd caught her off guard. Before long, she felt his fingers on her shirt buttons, and she froze. She couldn't pull away, or he'd thin
k she didn't love him. But she wasn't ready to make love to him. Not now. Not in the kitchen.

  His deft fingers slid the shirt from her, and she gasped as the air hit her skin. His hands were greedy on her back, and they quickly moved to her shoulders. He slid the bra strap off her left shoulder and before she knew it, he palmed her bare breast. Her mind whirled. It was all happening so fast and not how she'd imagined. Then again, after she'd left Chicago, she'd never pictured herself with anyone but Jase.

  Ryan broke their kiss, capturing her gaze with his. He held them for a moment before placing a kiss on the underside of her neck. He stopped as though waiting for her reaction.

  She held her breath. She wanted to stop him, but she didn't dare say so.

  He kissed her shoulder, and then he stopped again.

  She waited.

  Her collarbone. Stop. The top of her breast. Stop. And then he sucked her nipple into his mouth.

  A wave of dizziness swept through her. But it was not a good feeling. It was more like fear or nausea, and she pushed him away.

  That did it. "What the hell, Alex?"

  She covered herself, unwanted tears springing to the surface. "I'm sorry."

  He raked a hand through his hair, frustration etched across his features. "What the hell am I supposed to think? You say you're over him, but he sends you five thousand a month. You say you love me, but you won't let me touch you." He slammed a hand down on the kitchen counter. "I don't know what to do."

  "I'm sorry." She reached out toward him, but he backed away. "I do love you."

  "Then why don't you ask for help? I'm sure there's someone who'd help you find a way to stop those payments. Somebody else might help you deal with your physical aversion to me."

  She winced at the accusation but was clueless how to defend herself. "I can't." She knew she sounded lame. She should trust him and tell him everything about her past. But she couldn't. Not yet.