He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, trying to will some confidence into her and give her the harsh truth. “Stop it. You can. You have done tough things before, and you can do them again. Think back way past that last delivery. Think back to all the deliveries that were high risk. Think back to all the things that went wrong that you somehow made right. Do it,” he said when she opened her mouth to protest, his voice sounding harsh.
She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded.
He held his breath, and then she opened her eyes a minute later, some of the panic leaving. “You’re a human being, right? As dedicated, brilliant, and knowledgably as you are, you don’t have the ultimate control over your life or anyone’s. Shit happens. Shit happens that we can’t control, no matter how hard we try, how perfectly we do something. It took me a long time to realize that, Mel. I replayed my accident over and over. What I could have done, what I should have done, and you know what? I would have done it all the same the next time. But shit happened. I fell. Circumstances that were beyond my control took over. So, same for you. Think back to that delivery. Was there really something you could have done that would have saved that baby’s life? Was it really your fault?”
She bit her lower lip and slowly shook her head. “No,” she said softly before throwing her arms around his neck.
He held her close to him, pride for her running through his body. He knew how hard it was to let go of guilt and to trust in yourself again. He kissed the top of her head. “I believe in you. You can do this. Everyone upstairs believes in you. No one has ever doubted or questioned you. No one is as hard on you as you are on yourself. So, go up there, be there for your sister, and bring our niece into the world.” He leaned down to kiss her.
She kissed him back, and he knew this was more than a pep talk. He knew she was more than the girl he’d had a good time with at the cabin. He was falling for her. She was incredibly brave and strong and brilliant. And he wanted her. Long after the holidays. And the thought of that didn’t even terrify him.
“Thank you,” she whispered, pulling back.
He gave her another quick kiss and took her hand, walking toward the door. “You’re welcome.”
She was looking confident again, her eyes clear and sharp. “I’ve got my hospital bag in the trunk.”
“I’ll get it for you. Whatever you need in there, I’ve got your back.”
“Okay. This is going to be okay,” she said as they left the gym, sounding like she was speaking to herself more than him.
“It will. Deliver that baby, then maybe they’ll all leave so we can concentrate on us again. I plan to show you exactly how amazing I think you are,” he said, flashing her a smile as they made their way up the stairs.
She blushed a little. “Thank you, Finn. Thank you for believing in me.”
…
Melody stared into her sister’s eyes, and before even saying a word, she knew Molly was freaking out. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Melody said, squeezing Molly’s hand. She was in control again, and Drew was going through their medical bags and telling Ben what else they would need. Addie, Finn, and Marjorie were all in the great room, ready to help with anything. Ben, unfortunately, looked like he was doing even worse than Molly.
“Mel, I have to tell you something. As of my last appointment with the midwife, my baby is breech. She had attempted to turn her but so far nothing.”
Melody blinked, trying to appear like this wasn’t a big deal, when she really just wanted to scream. It was a big deal. Melody schooled her features as her gaze went from Molly’s to Drew’s concerned one. They knew the stats. If you were delivering in a hospital with a doctor, a breech baby was going to mean a C-section most likely. Neither she nor Drew were experienced in delivering a breech baby in a home setting. “Okay, that’s okay.”
“I wanted to have this baby at home, but now…”
She soaked in the fear in Molly’s eyes and didn’t want to be the doctor anymore. She just wanted to be her sister. She knew why Molly didn’t want to have the baby in the hospital. She knew why Molly had opted for a midwife and doula, and she fully supported her. Even though she and Molly were both doctors, even though they both believed in what they did at the hospital, the midwife and doula were what Molly needed. But Molly’s memories of her first delivery and everything surrounding it were too traumatic. She wanted this experience to be radically different.
Melody blinked rapidly, refusing to give into her emotions. An essential part of this was going to be confidence. Molly had to have confidence in herself and in Melody and Drew as well. She glanced up at Ben, who was whiter than the sheets. “All of us are here for you. We can do this. But you have to believe it, too. Your little girl has a strong heartbeat. We have an ambulance en route, but I have a feeling you’ll be holding your baby girl before they get here. Ben, can you get me the midwife’s number?” she said, starting to feel that old familiar adrenaline and confidence kick in.
Ben nodded, pulling out his phone and finding the contact. “Here, just take my phone,” he said, handing it to her before sitting on the bed next to Molly and kissing her.
Melody turned to Drew. “Drew and I are going to consult quickly and be right back, okay?”
“We’ll be right outside,” Drew added, opening the door.
Everyone stared at them as they emerged from the bedroom. She had a hard time avoiding Finn’s stare and almost didn’t want to meet his gaze, but when she finally did, his eyes were glittering with confidence in her, and she took a deep breath.
“Let’s go to the porch. I think the fresh air is a good idea,” Drew said.
Marjorie stepped forward, ringing her hands. Addie had her arm around her. “How is Molly?”
Melody forced a smile. “She’s great. We just need to discuss a few things and we’ll be right back in there.”
A minute later, she was thankful for the cool air outside because she felt like she was overheating. She briefed Drew, and they spent the next few minutes sharing their opinions of the best way to go about the delivery. “I’m just going to call her midwife before I get back in there. I need to know as much as I can about Molly and how she’d approach this delivery.”
“Okay, I’ll stay with Molly.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s going to be okay, Mel.”
She gave him a nod and dialed the midwife, spending the next several minutes gathering as much knowledge as she could. Thankfully, she was very helpful and would be on standby to offer her help over the phone during the delivery if needed. Melody walked to the edge of the porch and lifted her face to the sky. Winter wind blasted her face, and she sent up some fervent prayers for Molly and the baby, and one for herself—to be the doctor her sister needed her to be.
Melody marched back into the house a few moments later with laser focus. She could do this. When she walked back into the bedroom, the terror in Ben and Molly’s eyes almost stopped her in her tracks. The panic there was enough to make her want to run, but she couldn’t. She would never. At least she knew now that under the worst circumstances, she could count on herself. She would never run from anyone who needed help, especially not her sister.
She would do whatever it took to get this baby into the world. She grasped Molly’s hand and knelt beside her. “Do you trust me?”
Molly squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. “It’s not you…don’t think it’s you… Mel, I can’t lose this baby,” she said as a sob broke from her, the sound so gut-wrenching like it was coming from somewhere so deep inside, a well of wishes so deep that had never come to fruition.
“We’re not,” Ben said harshly. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“He’s right,” Melody said, squeezing Molly’s hand.
“We won’t let anything happen to either of you,” Drew chimed in.
“But we all have to work together. There’s no time or room for any of u
s to panic, okay? You have to focus. We all have to focus. Your midwife is on standby. She can guide us through the whole thing. I can get her on the phone if you want?”
She caught the tears in Ben’s eyes, the ashen face, the clenched jaw, and knew he was struggling to keep it together for Molly. Molly took a deep breath. “I trust you.”
“Okay, then we’re going to do this exactly how she would have, exactly like you planned. Pretty soon, you’ll be holding your little girl, okay?”
Melody didn’t make promises lightly. And after the last delivery, she never wanted to make one again. But today she had to. She had to come through.
Chapter Thirteen
Finn paced the room, walking his laps in the opposite direction of his mother’s. Poor Addie, he had no idea how she was dealing with the two of them. Thankfully, Isabella was watching Frozen 2 in Drew and Addie’s room and had no inclination that anything was wrong.
Hours had gone by. Hours and hours with Drew coming out only twice to tell them everything was going well but slow. Like that was reassuring for anyone.
Addie appeared a moment later, holding two mugs. He and his mother stopped walking, on opposite sides of Addie. “You both need to drink this,” she said.
He took the cup and frowned at it. “Thanks, but what the hell is this?”
She shot him a smile. “It has chamomile in it. To relieve some of the stress.”
His mother plucked both mugs from their hands. “Addie, you know I love you like family, but we need coffee. Caffeine. Reinforcements. We could be up all night,” she said, marching to the kitchen.
Addie turned around, clearly alarmed. “Are you sure that’s wise? You haven’t eaten anything all day. Don’t you think another pot of coffee will only add to your—”
She stopped speaking when an unmistakeable, beautiful, wonderful newborn baby’s cry pierced the quiet cabin.
The three of them looked at each other, and damn if they all didn’t cry.
He turned around and wiped his face on his shirt sleeve before his mother bulldozed into him for a hug. He held onto her. Relief and joy like he’d never experienced pummeled through him, robbing him of all thought. He just felt. Sheer joy. For all of them. For Molly and Ben, who’d been to hell and back with their relationship and had the courage to keep dreaming and were now being rewarded with a baby with a healthy set of lungs. And for his mother, who had put up with all the stress of their professions to now be rewarded with a grandchild. And for Mel, who had proven to herself that she was not a quitter. He opened his arm, and Addie came in for a group hug.
The door opened many long minutes later, and his big brother walked into the room, unabashedly crying like a baby and holding his little girl. He wanted to make a joke and tell him to hold her up like Simba but couldn’t. He was too busy trying not to cry again as Ben walked over.
Finn found himself smiling down at the cutest baby ever.
“She’s the most beautiful baby I have ever seen,” their mother declared.
“Molly’s good?” Finn asked, his voice hoarse.
Ben nodded. “She’s amazing.”
He glanced in the direction of the room, pride coursing through him as he heard Melody’s soft voice speaking with Drew. He knew what this meant for her. So much. More than anyone here would know. She had brought their niece into the world and had conquered her fears at the same time.
“I’ve got to go back and be with Molly,” Ben said, taking the baby from their mom.
“Tell her we love her and we’ll be waiting right here. Whatever you need, you’ve got it,” she said.
Ben nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to go back into the room. Finn turned to his mother, finding his sense of humor again. “So how does it feel, Granny?”
She smacked him on the arm. “I told you, I’m Grandmaman.”
He laughed. “We’re not French. I think Granny has a nice ring to it,” he said, enjoying teasing her now that everything was okay.
Her eyes narrowed. “You can call me Granny when you come home and restart your life.”
He made a mental note to make that happen ASAP.
…
Melody burst out of the bedroom, elation and joy and gratitude pummelling through her body. There was only one person she needed to see, and she didn’t even care who saw. Her gaze found him immediately, and it was as though everything stopped.
For her, that moment, the expression in Finn’s eyes, was something that she’d never experienced. No one had ever looked at her with that kind of pride, that kind of love. And even though most of their family was in the room, she ran to him, and he wrapped her up into his arms.
He held her to him, his face buried in her neck. “I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you.”
She didn’t want the moment to end. It was the first time in her life she felt truly accepted, with flaws and all. She didn’t have to pretend to be perfect or to have it all together. He believed in her when she didn’t even believe in herself. He hadn’t even batted an eye. He’d known she could do it. He slowly lowered her to the ground and smiled.
Reality slowly set in as she looked up at him, at his gorgeous face. “They are all staring at us, aren’t they?”
He leaned forward and kissed her softly. “Yup. Addie actually just took a picture.”
She swallowed her laugh. “Can we disappear?”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said with a soft chuckle then announced, “We just need to get some fresh air.”
Addie gave her a wave and smug smile. Melody almost laughed as she remembered their conversation the night before. Finn held open the door and grabbed his coat.
He placed it around her shoulders as the cold wind greeted them on the porch. “Aren’t you cold?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I was dying in there. You did it, Mel,” he said, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss.
She nodded. “I did. Finn, I didn’t think I was going to be able to. We didn’t want to worry your mom, so we didn’t say anything, but the baby was breech. And big. And a C-section wasn’t an option here…I mean, I know I was the most qualified, but I was…I was so scared.”
He let out a rough sigh. “Oh man, that’s brutal.”
She nodded. “I wanted to run away. Obviously, I had to just do it. Drew was great. So calm under pressure. He was the perfect person to have by my side. We had her midwife on the phone, and she was fantastic. Of course, your brother was phenomenal and knew exactly how to give Molly what she needed. And as usual, Molly was amazing. I don’t know where she gets her strength from, but after the panic gave way, she became laser focused and did exactly as we told her.”
He pulled her into his arms, and the sound of sirens in the distance cut through the otherwise silent night. “I’m so happy for you and for them.”
“There’s something else I had never counted on. I mean, first thing was that I was so happy and so grateful to be holding that little girl. Our niece. Molly and Ben’s perfect little baby. But then this other emotion just came out of nowhere—I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. I was meant to deliver that baby. I was meant to do this job. It wasn’t about impressing my mother. Or it hasn’t been for a very long time. I love what I do. I love bringing these new little people into the world and handing them over to their parents. There is no doubt in my mind anymore,” she said, the relief almost making her feel light-headed.
He kissed her and drew back when the sirens became louder. “I’m so happy for you. There’s that ambulance. Finally.”
“We should let them know,” she said, holding his hand. It was like all the weight she’d been carrying around the last month had lifted, and not only did she know that she’d be going back to the hospital, she knew that she wasn’t a fraud. She loved her job, she loved her life, and she loved the person she was turning into.
“Maybe that means everyone will clear out to go to the hospital?” he said with an adorable half smile. She stared at him, knowing he was a part of all this and this setup by their siblings had been the best intrusion they’d ever made into her life.
“Nope. Addie and Isabella and Drew will be here,” Ben said, holding the door open for them.
Finn frowned at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your wife and baby?”
Ben grinned. “I thought I heard sirens so thought I’d come out and check.”
They walked back in the house and stood to the side as the paramedics came in, and soon, they were all waving Molly and Ben and the baby off.
There was nothing that could take the joy out of the room as they all stood there.
A Christmas baby.
There was a new baby in their family, a new person to love and cherish, and as she looked around at everyone’s smiling faces, she knew that this was what she’d been missing out on. She had turned people away, family away, relationships away because she’d been so busy proving to the world who Melody Mayberry really was. But she wasn’t any of those things. She was this woman. The one that was loved by these people and accepted by them. She didn’t have to be any more than who she was right now.
They walked back inside and helped pack up everyone’s things and saw them off. The house seemed extra quiet as the door shut. “Best Christmas ever,” Melody said, smiling up at Finn.
He leaned down to kiss her. “I have something. Hold on.” He walked over to the tree and picked up a small red box.
Her heart tripped in panic. “Wait, we didn’t say we were exchanging gifts.”
He gave her a lopsided grin and held out the box. “I know.”
She accepted the gift, holding his gaze, falling for him just a little more. Since their family had arrived, there was so much drama and so much emotion that she was exhausted. But so alive. She didn’t want to go to sleep because she didn’t want to miss out on life. She’d done that for too long. Finn was so much of the reason.
Snowed in with the Firefighter (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 14
