Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3)

by Henderson, Grace

  “I don’t fucking think so, sweetheart. I like my girls less…clingy.” I wonder what female broke Tyler’s heart. There usually is one with the bad brooding types isn’t there?

  “What type of female do you go for usually?”

  He doesn’t miss a beat. “Hot rack, long legs and the ability to understand the words one night only.” I laugh and take another sip from my mug. I love playful Tyler. It’s just a shame I haven’t spent much time with him. A cough interrupts my thoughts and when I look over at the door where James has just walked through, I see his frown and realise he just found me staring at Tyler. Not for the reason he thinks, obviously, but it makes me feel slightly guilty anyway. I said I’d go and spend the afternoon with Jess helping her pack so I put my mug in the sink and head towards the kitchen door. James stops me and whispers in my ear. “I need to speak to you.” I nod my head and follow him into the hallway.

  “I’m going to be late to Jess’. What do you want?”

  “I’m sorry.” He steps forward and grabs my face in his both hands. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t do anything with her. I would never knowingly do anything with her. Or anyone. You’ve got to believe me.” He looks so pained, and I wonder how much he remembers, if anything.

  “I do believe you.” He appears relieved, blowing out a breath and resting his forehead against mine.

  “But I’m still angry. I thought I’d never judge you for the way you’re acting about this, but it went too far last night. Tyler’s many things, but he’s still going to be family. And he’s still in a strange town on his own. All I was doing was making sure he had an okay night and introducing him to some people we know. I make no apologies for that, and instead of accepting it like a mature adult you went and hit the bottle.”

  I watch James’ face for the internal struggle he’s clearly having. I can’t even tell if he understands what I’m saying or not.

  “He’s staying in our house. I know you might not ever be best friends but I think the least you could do is be civil to someone who is a guest in your house and nearly got arrested protecting your girlfriend.”

  The rain of emotions in his face turns into a full blown thunderstorm when the words register.

  “What are you talking about? Why did he have to protect you?” The frown on his forehead deepens when I don’t answer straight away.

  “Laurel, what the fuck happened?”

  I shrug it off, feeling the tension vibrating off him.

  “Not much, some guy just tried to hit on me and Tyler stepped in to defend me.”

  James searches my eyes, trying to determine how much I’m actually telling him that’s truthful. I regret saying anything now.

  “You’re lying. You’re a crap liar.” That’s the second person to tell me that. I should really work on my poker face.

  “If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Tyler. And if he still doesn’t tell me, I’ll beat it out of him.”

  I roll my eyes. Now he’s acting like a loon.

  “Whatever. It was nothing. I just wish you’d been there to do it instead of a near stranger. You just need to get over whatever it is that’s holding you back, and reach out. Pull another damn olive branch out of the garden and wave it in his face. Because I’m sick of the tense atmosphere round here. Your dad and Hayley are getting married soon. They don’t deserve this. I’m going to Jess’. Let me know when you’ve pulled your finger out your ass.”

  So elegantly put, Laurel.

  James

  I note Laurel’s snarky comment and the hint of teasing in her voice and I know I’ll have to do some grovelling but it won’t take much. She’s already nearly forgiven me. But I do know I don’t deserve that, I acted like a complete tool last night. And I’m confident my liver is plotting its own revenge on me right now. I watch Laurel’s retreating back and then rub my stomach. I still feel sick. I haven’t had a hangover as bad as this since Blake’s stag night and that was eight months ago. I’m too old for this shit now.

  I head back into the kitchen where Tyler’s still on his damn phone. He’s glued to that thing.

  “Can I have a word?” I ask, pulling a chair out at the table to sit down.

  “Asshole. Fucker. Brat. Spoilt. Dick. Take your pick.” He deadpans, eyes not even bothering to give me a second glance from his phone. Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting.

  “I’ll take asshole.” I nod seriously, and he looks up at me frowning, resting his phone down on the table.

  “Good, I’m glad you agree.”

  “I just wanted to say thanks for what you did for Laurel. I was an idiot last night and wasn’t there for her. But I really appreciate you stepping in and keeping her safe.”

  The surprise is written all over his face and even I’m shocked that I’m not choking to death on my pride. It actually feels good to try and let it go. Like a weight off my shoulders. Laurel’s right, he may not forgive me and we probably won’t be best friends, but if this makes her and my dad happy, I’ll do it for them.

  He shrugs and picks up his phone again. “It was extremely satisfying. The guy was an absolute twat. Even worse than you, if you can believe that. But because I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you in on something.” He gets up out his chair and before checking his phone again, looks down at me. “For some reason that I don’t understand, Laurel’s so in love with you she can’t see what’s around her. Every damn penis in that bar last night wanted her, some of the pussy too. If you don’t hurry up, next time she’s going to be hit on by someone who isn’t a loser and they’re going to steal her away. Put a fucking ring on it, asshole.”

  I sit there as he passes me with a smirk twitching the corners of his mouth; my eyebrows in my hair and my mouth open like a loser. Did Tyler actually just give me advice on love?

  Fucking hell. I think he did.

  The next couple of hours I wear a hole in the carpet thinking about whether I’m actually going to do this. And how. That’s the biggest question.

  Has she already got an idea in her mind about how she wants me to do it?

  Does she even want me to do it? Fuck, I’m sure she would, but we haven’t talked about it in ages because of all the shit’s that happened. But none of that means I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her. There’s no-one I’d rather have in my arms, my heart and my bed. Just her.

  I run my hands through my hair for the tenth time and sink into the chair.

  Holy shit, I’m going to do it.

  What’s the first thing I need to do other than convince her I’m not a complete ass?

  I get out my phone and dial Blake’s number.

  “Mate, it’s me. Quick question. How did you know how to propose to Cass? Like, how did you decide where to do it?”

  There’s silence at the other end of the line.

  “Dude?”

  “No fucking way.” His voice is a hushed whisper.

  “What?”

  I hear him swallow. “You’re really doing it?”

  “Yeah.” I grin. What the fuck is his problem?

  Nothing but silence again, and just as I’m about to hang the fuck up, he roars with full-blown belly ache laughter that pisses me off.

  “What the hell’s so funny?” I frown into the phone.

  “You. Oh my God. I never thought I’d see the day. But fuck me, you picked well.”

  I smile. “I know. Now, how did you know?”

  He stops laughing and his voice turns serious. “I spoke to Julia and asked for her blessing, then just waited for the right time. I was carrying the bloody thing around with me for weeks. But one evening we were in the clearing on York Street, that was kind of our place, and the timing was perfect. You’ll know.”

  I digest the information, nodding along even though he can’t see me. He spoke to Cassie’s grandmother, her only living relative beforehand. I should do that. Mike’s not here, but I can talk to Judy.

  “Okay, thanks. See you soon.”

  “Yeah see ya, oh a
nd J?”

  “Mmm?” I reply already half-distracted thinking of the speech I’m going to give to Laurel’s mum.

  “I’m really happy for you.”

  His voice has gone all soft and sappy, the fucker.

  “Thanks.” I grin and hang up, grabbing my keys and practically running out the front door.

  “So, what’s going on? Not that I don’t like the unexpected visit, but this isn’t at all like normal. You’re quiet. Too quiet.” Judy crosses her arms in front of her chest and rests her hip against the kitchen counter, eyeing me suspiciously. My hands are shaking, my heart is racing and I so desperately want to do this right, make sure Laurel knows that I’m going to be the man her dad hoped I would be. He trusted me to take care of her. To be her future. If he was here, I’d be speaking to him. But he’s not, and Judy’s the only other person that could even take this place.

  I blow out a breath and force with it all the apprehension and tension in my body. Feeling lighter, I move towards Judy, using the few seconds to try and gather my thoughts.

  “I need to ask you something, Judy. You know how much Laurel means to me.”

  I pause, if only to think about my next sentence and Judy takes the opportunity to scan my face and nod gently.

  “She’s amazing. She’s fun, sweet, beautiful, she’s got the biggest heart and I know I could make her happy.”

  She nods again. “You do make her happy. I’ve never seen her smile so big. What’s this about, James?”

  I see the slight twitch of her lips; she knows. But she won’t make it easy. These Matthews women love their torture.

  “I love her so much. I want her to be my wife.”

  Her smirk curves the side of her lips. “Was there a question in there somewhere?”

  “Judy, please can I have your blessing to ask Laurel to marry me?”

  Shit, I just sounded like a pansy, like I was from the eighteenth century or something.

  Will her answer stop me from asking Laurel to marry me?

  I think I’d be heartbroken but ultimately it’s up to Laurel. I’d still ask and let her make the decision, but, I want this more than anything. I want her mum’s approval, her faith in the future I can give her. Her eyes are glistening with tears. Happy tears? Or I’m so mad I’m gonna rip your balls off tears? ‘Cause I have to say, I like the fact my balls are intact.

  There’s a sniffle. A little whimper. She then walks silently over to the paper towels and pulls a huge chunk off.

  “You did good James. Mike would be proud you spoke to me. I bet a lot of guys your age wouldn’t bother. Thank you. And of course I give you my blessing.”

  Well thank fuck for that. This is really going to happen now. Me, married. That’s some funny shit right there. But I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

  “So, I know you’ll probably want to buy her a ring yourself, and I wouldn’t blame you for that. But I just want to give you another option.” She leaves the room and it takes a minute or two for her to go upstairs then come back down. She comes through the door with a small smile on her lips.

  “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t like it. It won’t upset me.” She hesitantly hands the small velvet box to me and I take it from her with unsteady hands. I snap open the lid, and eyes go wide at the impressive platinum diamond ring sitting in the middle of the cushion.

  “Wow.” It’s gorgeous, and I’m sure it’d be just what Laurel would want.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Mike picked it out for me.” Her face just lights up talking about him. She wrings her hands in front of her then rubs a finger over the solid platinum band on her wedding finger.

  “I just wear this now. I couldn’t bear to have that on too. It just...cut me every time I looked at it. Reminds me of what I lost. But this...” She gestures to her finger, “This reminds me of what we had. I know it would mean a lot to Laurel, but so would you picking one for her so don’t feel guilty. Just think about it.” She closes the lid and fists her hands over mine.

  “I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law. I’m so happy for both of you.”

  “Thanks. But she has to say yes first.” Oh God, the thought of her saying no makes me feel sick.

  “You’re worried?” Judy asks, tilting her head to appraise me. Of course I’m worried. I’ve been an absolute ass lately.

  “Yeah, I’ve been off recently. I’m not doing this straight away. I’ve got some making up to do first. But I just hope she gives me the chance.”

  “I take it that’s about Graham?” It feels good to talk to someone else about this. Especially someone who’s been through the kind of grief that my dad has.

  “Hmm, and his soon to be step-son Tyler. Things are strained. And unfortunately I’ve put Laurel in the middle of it.”

  “If I know my daughter, she put herself there. She’s always tried to fix things, ever since she was little. She just wants everyone to be happy and get along. I love that innocence about her. But things don’t always work out that way.”

  I lean my head back against the cupboard behind me and take a deep breath in. “Was there ever a time, after Mike I mean, that you thought about leaving?”

  I glance across at Judy. That’s the most personal question I’ve ever asked her. I feel like a little boy waiting for her response. But now I kind of regret asking the question. If she says yes will I feel like it justifies my dad’s leaving? And if she says no, will I still hold it against him? My frown only deepens the longer I think about what her answer’s going to be.

  “I don’t want you to use my answer as a measure on how to deal with your dad. But what I will say, is that no two people deal with grief the same. Some may want to fight against the world on their own, some may run and hide, but until you’re put in the position of losing the one you had imagined spending your whole life with, it’s hard to comment on what you should or shouldn’t do. Everyone has their own way of surviving, because really that’s what you do. It’s what I did for years. It’s only been the last few months, after my surgery, that I feel like I’m actually living. My best advice to you, is to forget the past and concentrate on now. Your dad may not have dealt with things in the best way, but he’s only human, and he’s here now. There’s no handbook to life, we learn as we go along.”

  My fingers clench tighter round the velvet in my hand. I already don’t want to put it down.

  I say goodbye to Judy and let her words roll round my mind, each thought chasing quickly after the next one. I can either hold on to this resentment, which will ruin what I have with Laurel and my dad or I find some way of dealing with it. Some way of accepting that he’s not been the best dad in the world, but he’s not been bad. I know he loved me. Loves me. The whole thing was just his way of not getting lost completely. As for Tyler I have no idea to handle that. I guess one day at a time is as best as any.

  I throw open the door to my house, chuck my keys on the table in the hall and kick my shoes off into the corner. Taking the stairs two at a time, my heart beats quickly as I try to think of a place I can hide this. Laurel’s been on a cleaning mission lately. No corner has been left untouched. I look around the bedroom. Where the fuck can I put it? My panicked eyes run over the chair, the bed, the wardrobe, the window, the desk. Shit, I’ll try my office. I jog down the hall and as soon as I get in the room, the front door slams shut and heels saunter across the wooden floors downstairs.

  My eyes go wide. I shove it in a drawer at the desk and just as I shut it, Laurel fills the door frame, leaning her shoulder against the side. I take a couple of breaths in to try and steady my heart rate and calm the fuck down.

  “Hi.” She says apprehensively, and I turn and perch on the edge of the desk.

  “Hi.” I give her a small smile back and take in the way she nervously rolls her shoulders, and runs a piece of hair through her fingers.

  “Did you have fun with Jess?” I don’t know why I’m so intent on the small talk because what I should really be doing is getting dow
n on my hands and knees, telling her how fucking sorry I am. I can start with that, but it’s not enough, I need to actually show her this time.

  “Not really.”

  My eyebrows shoot up.

  “Why, what happened?” Maybe they had an argument or something. I can’t read the look in Laurel’s eyes.

  “Oh nothing. My mind was just elsewhere.”

  “Where was it?”

  “Here. With you. Tyler said you thanked him for last night.”

  My instinctive reaction is to clench my fists and tighten my jaw so I fight against it, and keep a calm, cool composure. It’s just a text or a phone call. It doesn’t mean anything.

  “Yeah. I can’t believe I wasn’t there for you.” I shrug a shoulder. “Just wanted him to know I appreciated it.”

  She nods slowly, her eyes shifting from side to side. This is too fucking awkward, I need to make the first move because clearly she’s not quite forgiven me yet.

  “Come closer.” I crook my finger. Her eyebrow rises up her forehead. “Please.” I add softly and feel my chest relax when she moves her body forward. The cream coloured sweater she’s wearing is loose and falls even further down her shoulder when she stops abruptly, a few feet away from me. Her chest heaves up and down heavily and I get distracted when she puts her hands in the back pocket of her black jeans. Black tight jeans, that cling to her legs and turn into a way too fucking sexy pair of red stilettos. How could I mess this up? I lift my eyes to meet hers.

  Nothing in the world is worth risking this over.

  Laurel

  I shift onto the other foot uneasily. I know James likes my outfit. That much is obvious from the way his eyes have travelled up and down my body more than once in the last thirty seconds but as he lifts them to meet mine, I can’t look away. I could stare into his eyes all day and still find something new, something I’ve never seen before. Like now, the way his love for me is lightening them to a piercing azure, little black flecks dusting the irises, creating a whirlpool of emotion, just sucking me in. The past week has been one long blur that I just want to forget. I know he’s sorry. He’s told me, he’s shown me by swallowing his pride with Tyler. I’d like them to get on, but they don’t have to. A willingness to be in the same room is a start. Everything else can come later.