Wedding Tea

by Sheila Horgan

  “She forgave you for Vegas a long time ago.”

  “Good to hear.”

  “I’ll find out the dates from A.J. For our honeymoon. So I can be available for the cruise. I’m sure Teagan would love to join us. She had a really good time on our last cruise.”

  SIX

  I BOUGHT TOO many groceries. I do that when I’m in a really good mood, or a really bad one. Some days lately, I can be in both on the same day. Some days, I can be both at virtually the same time.

  I pulled into the garage, hit the button for the door to go down, and unlocked the door to the house.

  I’m pretty proud of myself, actually.

  I’ve followed Roland’s directions, even though I think it’s kind of dumb. Christophe’s friends aren’t going to bother me. They might have wanted to get into my house and throw things around or steal something, but they aren’t going to do anything to any of us that live here. Besides, enough time passed. Christophe has probably gotten in touch with them and told them his grandmother is not someone to be messed with. When Adeline is in the mood, she can rain down some pretty scary resources. Money is a very powerful thing. I had no idea how powerful.

  Still surprises me all the time.

  Grant and Carlito are out of the picture. They were given such a huge bail amount, they couldn’t raise it.

  It’s amazing how fast the wheels of justice turn when the right people want them to, and evidently, the right people are pretty unhappy with Grant and Carlito.

  So, if Christophe’s friends are out of the picture, and Grant and Carlito are gone, then I have no reason to be paranoid.

  So the question is, why am I still paranoid?

  Mom always told me to listen to fear. So I’m still lowering the garage door before I walk in the house.

  I’d rather feel stupid about taking needless precautions than ridiculous about unforeseen ramifications when not taking precautions.

  I feel stupid, but I’m good with that.

  Suzi, Evelyn, and A.J. got home right on time. I heard the chime of the alarm when Suzi came into the driveway. Again when A.J. pulled up. Then I heard the garage door open, and the tinkle when the back door opened. Suzi called out, saying it was she and A.J. was right behind her. I heard the tones of the alarm as she entered the code.

  Is it weird those sounds make me sad?

  How has the world gotten to a place that I have an alarm at all?

  And I use it.

  Religiously.

  When I was growing up, we never even locked the door. Not even at night.

  When I lived in my own apartment, I would lock the door when I left for work, but not when I was at home. With all the family and friends coming and going, it was too much of a pain in the rear.

  I guess those days are gone.

  A.J. and Suzi were home on time. Evelyn seemed to remember me. I have no idea why I thought she might not. I know more about babies than that.

  We had a great dinner. Too much. Proven by the fact Teagan and Jessie showed up in the middle of me preparing stuff, and there was still so much left over I sent some home with them and some over to Jessie’s sister.

  With the bad guys in jail, Roland convinced he “had a bead” on Christophe’s friends, and the wedding coming into focus, I felt like all was right with the world.

  After Suzi helped me clean up the kitchen while A.J. gave Evelyn a bath, we headed out into the backyard and sat at the big table and drank cool drinks, and I took just a minute to send up a couple of prayers of gratitude.

  Even when things are really messed up, I have more than most. I have a man that loves me as much as I love him, and we fit together really well. I have family and friends who stick by me no matter what. I have a beautiful home and a wonderful job. My father seems to be doing pretty well. Everybody is healthy and as happy as anybody can be. I am blessed.

  Suzi took Evelyn upstairs, and A.J. and I sat in the backyard and listened to music coming from one of the neighbor’s houses. It was just loud enough to be like a movie, playing a sound track to our evening. Not annoying at all. Which is good, because so far I’ve loved my neighbors.

  It was really late by the time we got to bed, and I’m not sure my head hit the pillow before I was out.

  I almost feel comfortable in my own home again.

  Thank you, God.

  In the morning, we were back to our family dance. I’m sure if we stuck a camera up in the corner, you would see perfectly choreographed movements. Wouldn’t matter if it were Suzi handing off the kettle for me to make my tea, or A.J. blowing on Evelyn’s cereal while he pulls cupboards open. Not a single dish lands on the floor, and nobody has gotten a head smack since the first week we moved in.

  I’m glad we got everything figured out because I would hate to lose Suzi as a roommate. I love A.J. with all my heart, and we’re building a good life together, but I admit I like having family around, and there’s just a void caused by losing my mother. Suzi and Evelyn help to fill that place. They don’t replace Mom. No one ever could. But they keep me a little busier than I would otherwise be, and busy is good right now.

  Maybe after A.J. and I have a baby — or three — I will feel differently, but for now, I love the fact that Suzi and Evelyn are in my life on a daily basis.

  Maybe it was the good night’s sleep or because I’m comfortable in the house again, but I got so much work done today even I’m impressed with me.

  Adeline sponsors a dance studio on the other side of town, and she decided the community needs to do some of its own fundraising. I made a bunch of calls, and we figured a barbeque was in order. Several of the dancers’ dads are going to man the grills. The meat has been donated by a big box store and a butcher. The local bakery is donating all the baked goods. The discount store is donating all the paper goods.

  I would never admit to this publicly, but I pretty much took the to-do list we have been generating for the wedding and applied everything relevant to the barbeque. Most of the organizing was done for me.

  Roland’s people are volunteering to do security and will also be servers and clean up. I haven’t yet decided if we’re going to charge by the plate, or just ask for donations. Not sure what the community can bear and not sure what Adeline will want to do. My sister-in-law Morgan is doing the PR stuff. Daddy is helping, too. I think by the time I’m done, the whole thing will be a little O’Flynn-centric, but everybody knows that I tend to lean on O’Flynns, in good times and in bad. The world is just going to have to be okay with it.

  Once I got the barbeque stuff organized, I moved on to my own life. I got the cooking done for Teagan’s mother-in-law. Got it all vacuum-sealed and in the freezer. Since I now have lots of space, including six burners and two ovens, it took half the time it used to.

  I played Irish folk music and drank tea and felt almost like my old self.

  It dawned on me I’ve gotten into the habit of categorizing my life as before and after. Before Mom died and since Mom died. I need to stop. It can’t possibly be good for my mental health or attitude.

  The house was in good shape. I cleaned while stuff simmered on the stove. I don’t clean Suzi’s or Evelyn’s rooms, but I did go upstairs and do the hall floors and everything that isn’t Suzi’s or Evelyn’s. It was so weird. When I was upstairs, I got all creeped out. I know it’s probably because of the whole baby monitor thing, but I’ll admit the whole time I was up there, I was talking to my mother. Asking her to protect Evelyn. And Suzi.

  I know deep in my heart that nothing bad is going to happen, but I still cleaned up there faster than I did the rest of the house. I wonder when this feeling is going to go away.

  I love my house. Every inch of it. It isn’t fair that Carlito and Grant took my new-homeowner bliss away from me. Even for a little while.

  Our evening was spent doing wedding things.

  A.J. is going to wear a suit he already has. When we went to Las Vegas after I lost the baby, the girls had a beautiful dress for me and a suit fo
r A.J. hanging in the closet. The suit is perfect on him. Suzi and I had him try it on, just to be sure, and when we started making catcalls and whistling, Evelyn couldn’t decide if she was going to laugh or cry. The next ten minutes were spent making faces and weird noises at the baby until we had her laughing and reassured.

  Teagan called just to check in. I think she’s missing Suzi and Evelyn. It’s amazing how fast a baby can make herself the focal point of any group. She said that Agatha was making great strides with my dress and that the two of them had made a couple of changes to the plan. She was one hundred percent sure it would be perfect, but wanted to ask me before actually implementing the changes.

  I don’t know why I have so much faith in Teagan’s ability to dress me, but I told her I was good with the changes when I didn’t really even understand what she was talking about. All I’m sure of is we have to go shopping for different underwear. She said Agatha builds in some sort of superstructure in the dress — all the really high-end clothes have built in everything — and all I really needed to wear with the dress and veil was perfume. I didn’t tell A.J. that part. He might actually think it’s a good idea.

  When A.J. went back to our bedroom to change out of his suit, I told Suzi about Teagan’s comments. My just needing to wear perfume. No undies.

  She laughed. “Yeah, right. That’s not gonna happen.”

  I’m tempted to prove them all wrong.

  Not tempted enough to actually do it, but tempted.

  I remember when I was young, a friend of the family had the most beautiful wedding gown. Very modest. Long sleeves and everything. My father took pictures, and one of them was of the bride in front of a huge window looking out over a beautiful garden. When the pictures came back from being developed — amazing how far digital photography has come in a few years — it looked like her dress was completely see-through. It didn’t even look like she was wearing underwear.

  Being a nude bride — illusion or not — is not going to happen to me.

  I’m not sure how they pull it off in Hollywood with all the flashing lights and everything, but I’m gonna find out before the wedding.

  In any case, Teagan and I are going shopping tomorrow for the proper undergarments so I can try the dress on when Agatha’s done.

  I’m the exact perfect combination of completely excited, slightly paranoid, and extremely prayerful about this dress. There’s a big part of me that thinks I should have gone to a traditional wedding dress store, tried on a bunch of dresses, found the one I liked, then asked Agatha to re-create it in the fabric my mother left me.

  I didn’t think about it at the time.

  Teagan kind of dumped it all on me.

  She’s good at that.

  I almost always go with whatever it is she starts.

  But then again, it has never not worked out.

  When A.J. came back into the living room wearing my favorite worn out jeans, I almost abandoned the wedding planning to make it an early night. He saw it in my face and gave me such a sexy look. Thank goodness Suzi was in the kitchen making tea.

  By the time Suzi came back, we were settled around the coffee table looking at the plans for the backyard. The guys are going to create a frame out of pipe. I know it’s going to be painted; I’m just not sure what color yet. The pipe frame is going to be huge, and we’re going to drape fabric so it looks kind of like a tent, but doesn’t feel so confining. Sinead came up with the idea. She saw it on the Internet. She’s pushing for large areas of the frame to be left clear of fabric and Troya thinks it should be completely covered. We’re going to build the frame first and try it Sinead’s way. If it looks funny, we’ll do it Troya’s way.

  We’re going to have little tea candles in these cute little jars Sinead found. They’ll be hanging from the big tree and then scattered throughout the backyard wherever we need light. The days this time of year are pretty long, but once you get an O’Flynn party going, it can last a while. I thought lighting all those candles would take forever, but Sinead is convinced if we hand a bunch of people a piece of spaghetti or a really long match, it won’t take any time at all.

  Our neighbors to the back of us gave us the name of the company they’ve used several times for renting tables and chairs. The company even threw in a dance floor at an amazingly low price. I’m guessing they want to create a long-term relationship with us. We have to pay them to set the floor up. Any other time, I would have had the family set it up, but I’m determined to relinquish control over a few things and be relaxed at the wedding.

  Teagan just laughs every time I say anything about abdicating my position as queen of control.

  Maeve called just as I was gathering all the wedding papers. She called to let me know she’d found beautiful lights she thought would be perfect for the wedding. A store’s going out of business over by her work. They’d used the lights in displays. There were a gazillion, and she’d bought them all. She thought if we intermingled them with the fabric on the frame it would be stunning in the evening and still look good in the pictures during the day. She figured if I liked the lights, we could use them for the wedding. If I hated the idea, no harm, she would just keep them and use them as the best Christmas light display in her neighborhood. She said if I choose to use them, she’d let me pay for half.

  She was teasing.

  I’m pretty sure.

  I told her the lights sounded great, it was good with me, but I would leave her to talk Sinead into the change. She does, after all, have a vision.

  We laughed over how involved in all of it Sinead’s becoming. We aren’t sure if she’s just growing up now that she’s married and pregnant, or if my wedding has become part of her nesting ritual, but whatever the cause, I am so grateful for all her help.

  Suzi and Evelyn went upstairs. I don’t think Suzi quite trusts Evelyn being up there alone yet. We now have a completely closed monitor system for Evelyn. Roland’s guys assured us no one could hack the new system. We have all the doors and windows locked all the time, but none of us feel comfortable leaving short stuff alone in a room. I’m sure it will get better with time, but until then, Evelyn hasn’t been far from reach.

  The sun came up early.

  I know it comes up at basically the same time as the day before, but I didn’t get much sleep last night.

  At first, that was a good thing, but then it wasn’t.

  A.J. was sound asleep beside me. Suzi and Evelyn were asleep upstairs. I couldn’t turn my brain off. Everything pulled at me.

  I still haven’t heard from my mother. She promised.

  The wedding and all the details I haven’t dealt with, and Teagan’s assertion that I’m less excited than I should be.

  The fact Christophe’s friends are still out there somewhere. It was bombarding my brain cells.

  It all started to get to me.

  When I’m up and walking around during the day, I feel safe again.

  When it’s quiet and dark, not so much.

  I know it’s stupid.

  I just have this feeling.

  I can’t shake it.

  That’s why the commercials on TV are so effective. They show some guy in a mask lurking around in the bushes. When you least expect it he springs up and attacks. Even if he doesn’t attack, he comes into your house and breaks your favorite family picture and helps himself to every important family heirloom. Once he’s been in the house, you never feel safe again.

  I hate to give those commercials any credence, but it’s kind of true. It’s not that I’m scared, exactly; I just feel unsettled. Like the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet.

  Normally when I’m having a sleepless night, I fall asleep about an hour before I have to get up. I didn’t even get a last-minute snooze this morning.

  I took a deep breath, threw my legs over the side of the bed, and let the rest of me follow. I can pout, or I can do something productive.

  Yes, that would be my mother in my head again.

  I got up and fixed a
wonderful breakfast. Suzi came down to fix a bottle for Evelyn. Evelyn enjoyed her bottle while Suzi and I enjoyed a cup of tea. By the time A.J. joined us, things seemed kind of normal again.

  Teagan called at eight and said she would be over shortly. She wanted to be at her favorite store when it opened. She assures me she knows exactly what it is I need, and it won’t take long.

  A.J. and Suzi are taking Evelyn over to Gran’s place. They’re going to visit, and then all of them are going out to lunch. A.J. said not to expect him until three.

  I know he made a point of giving me exact times in case Teagan decides I need to try on my dress with my new underwear, and it would be just like Teagan to want to get a look at it in the venue, which in this case would be our backyard.

  I’m more than a little bit into tradition, and if A.J. saw me in my dress before the wedding, I’d pretend it was okay, but it would eat at me until I’m dead.

  Can I just say, I had no idea there were so many kinds of underwear out there. I’m all about nightgowns. I have some that are literally one of a kind. I can set a mood with a nightgown. Anything from slumber party with my sisters to lack of slumber with A.J., but I’m not really into the other part of lingerie.

  As much as I know about evening wear, Teagan knows about underwear. She claims it’s because with a body like hers, she needs to know. With a body like mine, not so much. It’s not like I wear bras to hold the girls in the right place. I wear a bra because a strap across my back tells the world I’m not a very tall ten-year-old boy.

  They have bras with straps going all over the place. We tried one on with straps encircling my waist. I’m not even sure why you would do that. Teagan said it would be better if I just didn’t wear a bra, but I argued that I’ve seen brides turn one way or another, and the dress didn’t turn with them, and the blushing bride was blushing for a whole new reason.

  Teagan says if something so ridiculous happened, it was because the dress didn’t fit properly.

  I’m not taking the chance.

  We ended up with a modern chastity belt.