by Dee J. Stone
I try to sit up, but the pain in my head is so strong, my vision gets spotty. I fall back with a groan.
Leah whistles. “Damn, are you sick.” She springs back. “Are stomach flus contagious?”
“No idea,” I mumble. “God, I feel like hell.” Bile rises in my throat again. I leap off my bed and grab the garbage bin from under my desk. I puke. When I’m done, I fold myself into a ball on the floor as tears seep out of my eyes.
“Cassie?”
“I’ve had stomach viruses before, but they’ve never been like this.”
“What are your symptoms?” she asks, her voice holding a hint of panic.
“My head kills.” I cover my face with my arms. “I’m thirsty all the time—but only for water. I’m dizzy and last night, I had this crazy craving for fish and ate a crapload of sardines. You know how much I hate fish. I’m nauseous, and as you just witnessed, I puked.”
She gasps. “Cassie.”
The hairs on my arms stand up at the sound of her voice. I lower my arms. “What?”
Damarian runs back into the room. He crouches down near me, holding out a glass of water.
I’m too nauseous and weak to accept it, even though my body’s begging for it. I just continue to lie on the floor.
“Um, Damarian?” Leah asks.
“Yes?”
“Do you mind if I speak to Cassie privately?”
I open an eye. “Why?”
She gives me a face. “It’s just one of those things I need to talk to you in private…”
Glancing at Damarian, I see he’s confused and a little hurt, but he nods and leaves the room. Leah scoots closer to me. “Cassie?”
The sunlight peeking through my window makes it hard for me to keep my eyes opened. “What?”
“You…you’re nauseous. You threw up.”
A feeling of terror nestles in the pit of my stomach. “It’s a virus,” I say.
Her face gets even paler. “Cassie. You could be—”
“It’s a stomach virus.”
“Cassie—”
“No.” I bury my face in my hands. “I’m not. I can’t be.”
“And why not? I’m sure you’re aware that sort of thing could happen…”
“He’s a merman.”
“You probably know more than me that mermen have reproductive organs.”
“We slept together only a few days ago!”
“Maybe merbabies develop quicker than humans.”
New tears rush out of my eyes. No, no, no. I can’t be pregnant. This can’t be happening.
“Maybe that’s why you’re craving fish. Because the baby—”
I jump to a sitting position, ignoring the pain shooting through the back of my head. “I’m not pregnant!” I hang onto my bed as I try to catch my breath. “We were careful.” I squeeze the mattress. “We were.”
The room gets silent, until Leah says quietly, “What if it doesn’t work on merpeople or something?”
“Lea—”
“And that could explain why you’ve been drinking so much. Because the baby needs water.”
I bang my head on the floor as more tears stream down my cheeks. “I can’t be pregnant.” Not only am I too young and will be starting college in a few weeks and have no means to support a baby, but the baby would be half mermaid, or merman. “Leah,” I moan. “I’m not pregnant. I’m not.” I reach for the garbage bin and throw up again.
“Why else would you get sick like this?”
I wipe my mouth. “Wouldn’t the baby need salt water? I’m pretty sure I’ve been drinking tap water.”
“Let me hop over to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test.”
“No.”
“Cassie…”
“I’m not pregnant! I’m not. I’m not.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning. He’ll tell me what’s wrong with me.”
“Or he can confirm that you’re pregnant.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not frickin’ pregnant!” My eyes shut tight and a breath escapes my mouth as I feel that sharp pelvic pain again.
“What happened?” Leah asks.
“Nothing.”
“Cass, I’m worried about you. If you really are pregnant…”
“What?” My head snaps to hers. “Do you know what would happen? I’d go to a doctor and he’d see a fin in the ultrasound.” I cover my face and rock back and forth. “I can’t be pregnant.”
I continue to rock. If a half-mermaid, half-human baby is really in there, I don’t even know what to think. She’d have to live in the ocean. But what if she doesn’t have a fin? Or what if she turns out to be something we could never expect or imagine?
I won’t believe it. I won’t.
“Cassie, just let me get the test before we jump to—”
“No tests.” I don’t want to find out the truth. Because the truth may be the answer I don’t want to hear.
“That’s the best option for—”
“Leah, please. I just want to…can I be alone?”
She eyes me carefully, her forehead creased with concern. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You have to get to work.”
“I can call in sick.”
I would shake my head, but I’m scared my head will explode. “I think I’ll just sleep it off. I’m sure I’ll feel much better after a nap.”
“You just slept.”
“I’ll be okay. Please, I need to sleep. And Damarian is here.”
She gets up and walks over to me, getting down on her knees. “Let me help you to the bed.”
I let her put her arm around me, pick me up from the floor, and drag me to my bed. My body sinks into the mattress and it’s so soothing. “L-Leah?” My teeth chatter as a sudden chill passes over me.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. You’re a really good friend, you know?”
She forces a grin. “I know.” She tucks my blanket under my chin and rubs my arm before heading to the door.
“Please don’t tell him,” I say.
She looks back at me. “I promise I won’t. If you feel really sick, call me, okay? I’ll run over right away.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
A few minutes after she leaves, Damarian sits down near me on the bed. “Is all well, my love?”
Tears slide out of my eyes. I can’t tell him. What would he say?
He places his hand over mine. “Cassie?”
I feel the sharpest pain I’ve ever felt in my stomach. I suck in a large gulp of air. Damarian scoops me up. “I am taking you to the…what is that place? The hospital.”
“N…no,” I moan. You can’t. I might be pregnant. “D…Da…” I’m so weak I can barely get a word out.
The room spins. I don’t know where I am. I think I see the stairs. Is Damarian carrying me toward the door? He can’t!
“Da…”
“It is all right, Cassie.” I feel his lips on my damp forehead. “All will be well.”
“W…water,” I choke out.
He glances down at me. He has two heads. “What?”
“W…water.”
“You…” He freezes. “You require water?”
I’m so weak I can only manage to nod.
When I open my eyes, I don’t see the kitchen. I don’t see the sink or a glass of water. I see steps. Steps that lead to the pool room.
“D…Dama…”
I see the pool. Damarian tightens his hold on me. Then he jumps inside.
At first, my legs feel tingly, but then I cry out. It feels like someone’s slicing the bottom half of my body with a chainsaw. I thrash and yell and flail and splash water as I continue to cry out in pain. I’ve been thrown into a pit of fire, its flames swallowing me up until there’s nothing left but ashes.
Make it stop, I say to no one. Please, just make it stop.
And it does. My arms float above me as I sink to the bottom of the pool. Then
I see black.
Chapter Eleven
The first thing I see when I open my eyes is blue, then tiles. I’m in my pool.
Except, something’s different. Normally when I open my eyes in the pool, my view is a little blurry due to the water. Now I see everything clearly, like I’m wearing goggles. No, it’s better than wearing goggles.
My heart skips a beat when I realize two things at the same time: I’m too far away from the surface—which means I’m sitting on the floor in the deep side—and I can breathe.
The bottom half of my body doesn’t feel right. It feels foreign. When I drop my gaze to my lap, I let out the loudest shriek I’ve ever yelled in my life.
I don’t have legs. There’s a tail there instead.
I jerk myself back, which causes the—the anomaly to lurch upward, taking the rest of my body with it. It flaps up and down, like I’m a baby bird learning to fly. Uncontrollable screams come out of my mouth as the tail tows my body in all different directions like it has a mind of its own. Like it’s a creature that can’t be trained.
I’m a mermaid. A mermaid. I wasn’t thirsting after water and craving fish because I was pregnant. It was because I was…I was turning into a fish.
How is this possible?
Strong arms come around me and tug me upward. Something soft brushes against my legs—no, not my legs, my tail. My head breaks the surface. I stare into Damarian’s face.
“Cassie,” he says softly.
His arm is looped around my waist. I stare down at my hands. They’re webbed, just like his. Looking lower, I see two sapphire tails swaying in the water, though the one attached to…to me is a lighter shade than his.
They’re stroking each other, and it feels really good.
I see objects floating a few feet away in the pool. At first I don’t know what they are, but then it hits me. Our clothes, ripped to shreds.
My hands grip his shoulders. “D-Damarian.” My whole body is shaking. Convulsing.
“Cassie,” he says softly again, his hand rubbing my back. “It is all right. Do not fret.”
“What’s...what’s going on?” Tears burst out of my eyes. “I have a…a…” I can’t even say it.
I’m trembling so hard, my tail whips around, throwing me from right to left. It smacks Damarian in the face, then hauls me back, out of his grasp. I crash into the wall of the pool.
My head rings.
“Cassie!” Damarian speeds toward me and gathers me in his arms, cradling me close. His lips press into my forehead, my nose, my eyes. They skim the side of my face. “It is all right. I am here. I am here to protect you and make sure no harm comes your way.”
My arms lock around him and I clutch him tight as the lower half of my body flails around. I can’t catch my breath.
“Relax, my love.” He caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers. “All will be well.”
How can I relax? I have a freakin’ tail!
His fingers dig into my scalp as he holds my head steady, his eyes boring into mine. He doesn’t have to say anything—I see it in his eyes, the eternal love he has for me. That causes my muscles to relax, my breathing to grow more even. After a few seconds, my hold on him loosens.
Damarian’s hands fall away from my head, settling on my waist. He draws me closer to him, his eyes warm, loving. Leaning in close, he whispers, “My love. You are so very beautiful as a child of the sea.”
My breath is knocked out of me. Slowly, my gaze moves to the bottom half of my body and I see myself, really see myself. The sunlight shining off the tail makes it look like crystals, just like Damarian’s.
It is beautiful.
My gaze slides upward, to my chest. I expect to see myself naked. But I’m not. Sapphire scales cover me. I remember Doria’s chest splattered with scales in the same manner.
Mermaid.
“How?” I croak.
Damarian’s hand closes around the back of my neck and urges me forward, until my head rests in the hollow space between his neck and shoulder. A feeling of serenity takes over me, like his energy is soothing me.
Our bodies fit perfectly together.
“I do not understand it,” he says into my ear, “But it is so lovely.” He touches the area near my left eye. “Your eyes are as blue as the sea.”
My eyes changed colors? A shiver travels down my spine. “Damarian. I’m scared.”
“I understand.” His hand moves from my waist and laces with mine. “Come.” He dips into the water bringing me down with him. Our tails sweep the floor of the pool. I see Damarian in a whole different light. I can’t really describe it, but he looks more ethereal, more magical. My hand lightly treks up his arm. He feels different, too. Smoother, electric.
Our hands interlock. “Feel the ocean water,” Damarian says. I’ve never heard him speak underwater before. His musical voice sounds so majestic, touching every part of me. He closes his eyes. “Feel it, Cassie.” My eyes flutter closed, too. “The way it caresses your skin. The life it provides you.”
I feel it. It’s as though every particle of the water is nurturing me, giving me strength.
Opening my mouth, I take in a large gulp of water through my gills—holy crap, my gills—and feel the oxygen flow through my body. I’ve never felt so rejuvenated.
My hands jump to my hair. I pull a strand and study it. It’s golden, not hay-like. But it’s a different kind of golden than Damarian’s. Less vibrant, though still gorgeous. And it doesn’t lay limp on my shoulders like it used to, rather there’s life and volume, and the way it floats in the water is breathtaking.
Taking a closer look at my hand, I realize my skin is the same translucent white color as Damarian’s.
“Damarian,” I say, my own voice musical. I feel my lips lift into a small smile.
His eyes open and he returns the smile.
Sliding my hands out of his, I kick off the floor and break the surface. Taking in a gulp of air feels weird. As a human, it’s an amazing and cherishing moment, especially if I’ve been underwater for a bit. But as a—God, I can’t even think it—it’s secondary, and not as precious. As my eyes study the room I’ve been in a million times, I see things I’ve never noticed before. Like the dirt between the tiles, the dry blood near the ladder where I cut my toe on a few years ago. I’m pretty sure Mom and I scrubbed that thing until the metal shined. There’s a small spider near the window. Everything is much more focused and clear. It’s actually pretty incredible.
I hear a buzzing sound. No, not buzzing, but more of a rumble. Like a washing machine. No, like a refrigerator. My eyes widen. I can hear the refrigerator from all the way down here?
A memory attacks my mind, the one when Damarian shifted into a merman in my pool for the first time. He heard the phone ring from down here. Merpeople have acute hearing. That means…I have acute hearing, too. And voices. I can hear them perfectly. Little kids are on their way to the park. They’re bouncing a ball. It reverberates in my ears.
And there’s more. The construction work being done a few blocks away, the ticking of all the clocks and watches in the house, the water dripping from the bathroom faucet. Even my sense of smell is much stronger. The musty odor from the basement mixed in with laundry detergent from the washing machine. The garbage in the kitchen that should have been thrown out days ago. The smell from the light bulb that burned out last night.
I start to swim. My arms move differently, more gracefully and effortlessly, as if it’s second nature. My tail pumps me forward. I’m going at such a fast pace that I bang into the opposite wall. I flip over and swim toward the other end of the pool. The water feels amazing on my skin, more so than when I’m a human. I’ve never felt so free, so liberated. I’ve always loved the ocean and surfing, but now it’s as though it’s an integral part of me, a necessity I can’t live without.
Pumping harder and faster, I swim at an extremely fast pace. It thrills me, inflates me with adrenaline. I raise my arms in the air and only use my tail to prop
el me forward. It’s like I’m sailing on the sea. Flying.
I kick off and fall on my back. I’ve never felt so alive. No wonder Damarian looks like a total different person when he’s submerged in the water. The water is our life.
Did I just say our life?
Damarian’s head breaks the surface. We swim toward each other, and when we’re a few inches apart, he puts his hands on my waist and pulls me to him. We spin around in the water, like we’re dancing. The whooshing of our tails sound so natural, like it’s something I hear every day. Something I love.
Without knowing what I’m doing, I fall on my back and raise my tail in the air. Damarian does the same. Our tails wrap around each other in a loving embrace. I’ve never felt so close to him, not even when we slept together.
Our hands find each other’s and we smile, sharing something secret and special.
I’m still scared as hell, but I also feel a bit awesome. I didn’t think I could get any closer to my merman.
Our tails drop back into the water, still wrapped around each other, and our bodies come together. Damarian’s hands are on my back, and my nails dig into his shoulders. Our foreheads touch. “This is amazing,” I whisper.
“I agree.” His voice is barely audible. I can hear his heartbeat. It’s racing just as fast as mine. Maybe faster.
We stay like this for a few minutes. Damarian takes my hand. “Come.”
“What are we doing?”
“Do you trust me?” he asks.
“Of course.” I don’t know how I would do this without him.
He tightens his hold on me and dives into the water. I follow. The next second, he kicks off the floor. It’s like we’re connected through our minds and hearts, because I find myself doing the same. We leap in the air, in unison.
The ceiling is so close to us, and when I stretch my arm, I graze it, just like I did the time I rode Damarian as he soared in the air. It’s almost like we’re moving in slow motion. I see the way the sunlight coming in through the windows creates rainbows on the water, the way our tails look like crystals as it reflects off them.
We hit the water with hardly a splash and dive deep. Our hands come apart, and mine sweep across the bottom of the pool. My tail surges me forward, alongside Damarian. We swim like fish in the ocean.
