by Dee J. Stone
When we come up to the surface, I launch myself into Damarian’s arms and laugh as he showers me with kisses. “I do not understand it,” he says between kisses, “but I am glad you have a tail.”
Although every part of me beats with fear, at this moment I’m surprised to admit that I agree.
Chapter Twelve
I don’t know how long we swim and play in the pool. It could be minutes, it could be hours. We soar in the air. We race one another. Our tails hug. I forget that I’m a human who turned into a mermaid. I forget that I should be scared as hell. All that matters is what’s going on between the two of us.
When the room starts to grow dim, I realize it must be pretty late. Damarian says, “Perhaps we should leave the pool.”
I nod, my throat tight. The reality begins to dawn on me. I have to face the world now, face…this. Whatever it is.
Damarian leads me to the edge of the pool and puts his arms around my middle. “I will lift you,” he says.
“Okay.”
He hoists me up, and I use all my energy to drag my—my tail over the edge. As soon as I leave the water, I feel like I lost something dear to me. I feel naked.
Damarian’s hands clutch the edge of the pool. He swings his tail with so much force that he leaps over the edge. I don’t feel as strong of a connection to him as I did in the water. It’s still there, but weak.
I crawl closer to him and he throws his arms around me. It takes a few seconds for me to find my voice. “We’re going to change.”
He nods.
I stare off into the distance, my heart pounding in my ears. What does all this mean? Am I going to have to swim in my pool twice a day like Damarian? How the hell did this happen?
Damarian’s arms tighten around me. “We shall hold each other. Comfort each other.” His mouth is on my temple. “Persevere, my love. It will end soon.”
I nod, forcing my tears at bay. What if I don’t change? What if I doomed to stay like this forever?
He whispers things into my ear as we wait. Romantic things. It chases away some of the terror creeping up my back, but it’s not gone completely. How can it be? In just a few minutes, I might feel agonizing pain.
When I’ll change back into a human, I’ll be naked. The second time in front of Damarian. Right now, the two of us are going to share something so intimate, something I’ll never share with anyone for the rest of my life.
He lays me down on the floor and covers me with his body, his face digging into my shoulder, his arms holding me close. “I wish you did not have to undergo the pain,” he says, his voice filled with guilt.
“I wish you didn’t have to, either.”
He’s about to say something when I feel acute pain in my lower abdomen. I cry out. My palms flatten on the tiles, trying to grab something—anything—as the pain travels from my stomach to my toes.
“Cassie.” Damarian hugs me to his chest and kisses my cheeks and my chin. “My Cassie.”
Through the fog of pain, I realize I’m smaller than him, which means I’m drying faster. It starts to get more intense. It burns down there. No, worse than burns. It doesn’t compare to the pain I felt when I shifted into a mermaid. It’s like someone’s peeling the skin of my legs off like an orange, little by little, piece by piece. My vision is blotchy and I don’t realize I’m knocking my head against the floor until Damarian puts his hands beneath my head. From far, far away, I hear his soothing, comforting voice.
Just when I think I’m going to die, it’s over.
My entire body is drenched with sweat, and my heart is beating so fast I think it may fly out of my chest. When I open my eyes, it takes a few seconds until they get into focus. Damarian is on top of me, his own body convulsing. I try to raise my hands, try to comfort him, but they fall to my sides. I’m so weak.
As my eyes droop, there’s only one thing on my mind: I can’t believe my merman goes through this twice a day.
***
I wake up with something pressing into the side of my body. Not something—someone. I’m too weak to open my eyes. My hands snake up his back, over his shoulders, up his neck, his face, until my fingers tangle in his hair.
A few seconds later, his hands move along my body, one wrapping around my neck while the other laces with mine. His soft breath is on my cheek. Then his lips sweep down my throat. He murmurs my name.
I whisper his, my eyes slowly opening. His face comes into my view, and he smiles, stroking my cheek.
My hand tugs on some strands of his hair. “You’re so strong, Damarian. So brave. To go through this twice a day. Every day. All for me.”
He lowers his forehead to mine. “I would do anything for you. I would cut my tail for you.”
“Don’t you dare. That’s like cutting off your manhood.”
His eyes light up as he chuckles. “My sweet Cassie. Despite your exhaustion, you make me laugh.”
He sticks his arm underneath me and helps me to a sitting position. The cool air hits my body. My cheeks warm up. Here we are, entwined in each other’s arms, totally naked. I can’t help but laugh at how absurd this situation is. I’m naked because I was a mermaid ten minutes ago.
Damarian stands on shaky knees and helps me up. I stumble against him. It’s like I forgot how to use my legs. But after taking a few steps, I’m back to normal, like nothing happened.
We climb up to my room, dress into pajamas, and sit down on the couch. I wring my hands in my lap while Damarian stares at the blank TV screen. After a bit, he reaches for the remote. I don’t pay attention to what channel he turns to. I hardly even hear it. The same thing runs over and over in my head. I’m a mermaid.
Damarian draws me to his chest. He kisses my temple. “You are trembling.”
Looking down at my hand, I see he’s right.
“I do not understand it,” he says. “I…” He bends forward to plant a light kiss on my lips. “Please forgive me, my love. I am sorry. So very sorry.”
“For what?”
“You are a child of the sea…” He scratches his head. “I do not understand how that is possible.” He fingers my bottom lip. “I see the fear in your eyes. It pains me.”
His words cause tears to well up in my eyes. “I’m so scared, Damarian.” I bury my face in his chest. “Is this something permanent? Will I have to swim in my pool twice a day like you? Will I change when even a drop of salt water hits me? Does that mean I can never surf again?”
He holds me tight, his lips skimming along my jaw. He doesn’t say anything because he can’t possibly know what to say.
“You stood at my side,” he says. “From the very first moment. I shall be here for you, my Cassie.” He lifts his hand and wipes my tears away with his thumbs. “I shall let no harm befall you.”
“Has…” I sniff. “Has this ever happened before? A human turning into a merperson?”
He shakes his head. “I have not heard of such an incident occurring.”
My heart plummets to my toes. “Then…how did it happen to me?”
He stares at the floor. “I do not know.” He looks at me, his eyes holding so much pain it makes my heart tear in half. “I am so sorry.” He digs his head into my neck. “So very sorry.”
I squeeze him tight as I rock us back and forth, trying to comfort him. The fact that what happened to me hurts him shows me how much he loves me. I pull back, put my hands on either side of his face, and raise his head so he looks into my eyes. “I’ll be okay. Let’s try to figure it out.” Now I wipe away his tears.
He nods.
“Okay, let’s think. The first sign was when I wasn’t feeling well. When did I first get sick?” I rack my brain. Has it only been these past few days? Damarian’s face turns white. “What?” I ask.
“After we mated...you fell ill.”
I stare at him. I got a headache and was thirsty after we slept together. I bet my own face is pale, too. “So you’re saying…” I swallow.
“Our mating caused your shift.” He
’s even whiter than before.
I flatten my palms on my knees. How does that make sense? If a person has dark hair and sleeps with a guy who has red hair, does she get red hair? Or if she loses her arm and sleeps with a guy who has an arm, she’ll magically grow one back?
Damarian yanks on some of his hair, his eyes troubled. “It is all due to me. I was hesitant to mate with you, for I did not know what would result. Now I have taken your humanity.” He covers his face and his shoulders heave.
I put my arms around him. “No, don’t think like that, Damarian. Mating with you was the best thing to have happened to me.”
His shoulders continue to quake. “All I ever wish is to make you happy. I am not concerned with myself, just for your well-being.”
“I know.” I kiss the side of his neck.
“I wished to mate with you, for I love you so very much. But I should have been aware of the consequences. How upset I am with myself.”
I shift over on the couch so I can force his gaze to meet mine. “Listen to me, Damarian,” I say softly. “Don’t be upset with yourself. We knew from the beginning that our relationship would be hard. I’m freaked out about all of this, but we have something so amazing together. And we are going to deal with whatever bumps we have along the way. So I’m a mermaid. It’s not my first choice, but so much good can come out of it.” I press my lips to his. “I can finally see your world now.”
He stops weeping and looks at me. “You…you are able to swim in the sea.”
I nod.
Some light comes to his eyes. “I have always dreamed of showing you my world.”
I envelop him in a hug. “And I’ve always dreamed of seeing it.”
“But you are not able to swim in the sea as a human. It is something you love dearly.”
I touch his cheek. “But I love you more.”
A small smile crawls onto his mouth. “You are not upset?”
Honestly, I have no idea how I feel. A part of me is still in denial, but the logical side assures me it sure as hell happened. I didn’t hallucinate, not to mention Damarian is my witness. It scares me to the very core. But there’s another side of me that is excited and looking forward to what will come out of this. Damarian’s been part of my world all this time. I wanted to desperately be part of his. Now I can be.
Not wanting to make Damarian feel any worse than he already does, I say, “A little. But I’m also excited. I want to go into the ocean with you.”
He leans his cheek against mine. “I wish it, too.”
He lies down, tucking me close. I try to keep my thoughts positive, but I can’t push away the fear and uncertainty climbing up my back. How can I live like this? I’m the one who takes care of Damarian, remembering to stock up on the sea salt, changing the pool water every few days, making sure he remembers to swim, being there for him when he shifts, saying goodbye when he swims home, and waiting for him when he returns. How can I continue taking care of him if I need to take care of myself, too? How can I live my life if I have to swim in salt water every twelve hours?
Chapter Thirteen
As soon as I wake up the next morning, I know it wasn’t a dream. Lifting the blanket off me, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stare at my toes. No headache, no nausea, no extreme thirst. I feel completely normal.
Except for the fact that I’m in the mood for raw fish.
I look at Damarian, who’s breathing softly, his chest rising and falling in an unsteady rhythm. His face is contorted in guilt. I wish he wouldn’t take this to heart. I know he feels responsible for what happened to me, but the truth is that he’s not. I chose to be with him, a creature from another world. I knew things wouldn’t be simple. Nothing ever is.
A chill passes through me and I hug my arms. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with all of this, but I guess I don’t have a choice. I need to be strong. For me, for Damarian, for the future of our relationship.
My stomach churns. I’m not sure if that’s my body telling me that my tail is on the way, or if it’s due to the anxiety flowing through my bloodstream.
My phone beeps. Glancing at the screen, I see it’s a text from Leah. How are you feeling?
I need to tell her about all of this, but not right now. Not until it sinks in and when I fully accept it and understand exactly what’s going on with me.
I text her back. I’m okay now, thanks. Got some stuff to talk to you about later.
You’re pregnant.
Not even close. Not pregnant. We’ll talk later, k?
Sure.
Putting my phone aside, my stomach churns some more. How will she react to all of this? She’s my best friend and loves me, but will this do something to our friendship? And who else do I need to tell? I planned on telling Mom about Damarian—I guess I need to add a footnote that I’m a mermaid, too. And what about Dad? I don’t want to scare him away.
I rub my temples.
“Cassie.” Damarian’s arms come around me. Just by his contact, I immediately feel better.
I turn over and hug him, then kiss him. “Good morning.”
His worried and guilt-ridden eyes search my face. “How do you feel?”
I try to muster a reassuring smile, but I’m not sure I succeed. “Good. You?”
He looks away. “I feel well.”
Taking hold of his chin, I turn his face toward mine and say gently, “I’m okay, Damarian. Come here.” I hug him closer and kiss the side of his neck. “We’ll get through this.”
“Forgive me for my behavior,” he says. “I wish to be comforting you.”
“It’s okay. I know how hard this is for you.”
“It is more difficult for you,” he says.
“Sometimes the person not going through it feels worse,” I say, laughing lamely. “Like the way a husband freaks out when his wife’s giving birth.”
I’m not sure he understands the analogy, but I feel his body relax a little. I’m so focused on making him feel better that I don’t care how I feel, ignoring the thoughts and concerns swarming my mind.
“I wish to be here for you,” Damarian says. “Just as you were there for me when I came on land. I wish to ease your mind.”
“You are,” I tell him. “Just holding me like this is enough.”
He nods. “Your feelings match mine.”
We probably sit like this for ten minutes, not saying anything, just folded in each other’s arms, our hands caressing, our lips touching. In this moment, I feel like nothing could hurt me, that no matter what, we will get through this because we are one. Together, forever.
But unfortunately, we have to face life. I pull out of his arms and brush some hair away from his eyes. “I need to get ready for work.”
He nods, his face cloudy. “We will require to enter the pool.”
My chest tightens. I almost forgot about that.
He sandwiches my hands in his. “Perhaps you will not shift.”
“What do you mean?”
“Perhaps…” He swallows. “Perhaps it was an error. Perhaps…”
He’s so sweet and amazing for wishing and hoping I won’t turn into a mermaid. A part of me feels the same. But who am I kidding? All I want to do is eat raw fish and every single cell in my body yearns to feel the cool, soothing sea water of my pool.
“Maybe,” I say.
With my hand in his, he leads me down the stairs and to the pool room. My body perks up when I smell the salt water. A hunger brews deep in my stomach, not one for food, but for something else. Sustenance. Life.
Damarian pulls down his pajama bottoms. “May I hold you?” he asks, reaching his hands out toward me.
“Of course.” I tug my tank top over my head, then slide out of my pants. Taking a deep breath, I step closer to Damarian.
His arms come around me, pressing me close to his body. “Forgive me, my love.”
We jump into the pool.
The tingling starts only a few seconds before I feel the sharp, burning pai
n in the lower half of my body. I twist out of Damarian’s arms, but my hands try to grab hold of him. His own thrashing pushes me away, but he clutches my hand before I’m tossed to the other end of the pool. As our bodies flail around in the water, I force my eyes open so I can look into his, to let him understand how much I love him.
I see the way he fights through the pain to bring his other hand toward me. I try to do the same. When they finally touch, we grip each other in a firm lock, our bodies tumbling over each other. We don’t let go.
Then it’s over.
We sink to the bottom of the pool, our hands still fastened together. Damarian’s heavy and wild breathing matches my own. After a short while, his hands leave mine, and I’m in his arms. He murmurs soothing words against my temple, his musical voice stroking my skin from top to bottom. Like last night, the salt water makes me feel refreshed, like I just woke up from a good night’s sleep. I tighten my hold on him and kick off the floor, shooting up in the air like a missile. Damarian is yanked up with me, and together we soar in the air. I keep one hand in his and raise the other one. We’re only midair for a few seconds, but it feels like forever. My eyes lock with Damarian’s, and I see the guilt, nerves, and worry leave his face and are replaced with joy, delight, wonder.
When we land in the water, Damarian flips over on his back and places me above him, chest to chest, my tail pressed to his. Smiling sadly, he twirls a strand of my hair between his fingers. “How I enjoy this.”
“Why are you sad?”
He shakes his head. “I cannot help but feel such an abundance of guilt for causing this to befall you.”
I lay my head against his chest. “It would make me feel so much better if you stopped feeling so guilty. What we just experienced together was amazing. Yes, it was scary and painful and in those few moments, I would have rather died, but look at us now.” I raise my head and give him a smile. “We’re swimming together in my pool. In the same form.”
He’s trying to fight the smile forming on his lips. I lean forward to kiss them. He rests his forehead on mine. “Thank you for all you do for me, my love. I am so thankful that I met you.”
