Love Letters in the Sand

by June Francis

  His mother cleared her throat. ‘What is it that you want me to say?’

  Marty didn’t understand why it hadn’t occurred to him until then that his mother had been party to the lie his father had lived for so many years. ‘Dad’s a hypocrite, Mam. He made our Peg’s life a misery by his attitude to Protestants, when all the time his father belonged to the Orange Lodge. He kept it quiet all these years. Seldom spoke about his family.’

  ‘It was because his family made him so angry,’ said Mary in a shaky voice.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘When he took me home, they asked me what colour I was. So he became a Catholic before he’d allow me to take him home to my parents. It was so I could say he was a good Catholic boy and they’d welcome him into the family. So you see he knew what he was talking about because my parents would have reacted the same way as his if he hadn’t changed beforehand. He didn’t want any of his children to suffer prejudice when it came to getting married.’

  Marty ran a hand through his flaxen hair. ‘But he was prejudiced against his own family! What did he say when your parents asked him about his parents?’

  ‘He told them they were dead. They were as good as dead to him because they never spoke to him again after he converted. I know telling lies is a sin but he confessed it to the priest, so that was all right.’

  Marty could have torn his hair out. ‘Where are his parents now?’

  ‘They really are dead now.’ She gazed at him with sad eyes. ‘It’s all so long ago. You’re not going to mention it to your dad, are you?’

  ‘I have to, Mam. Try and get him to see that his attitude has affected all of us, especially our Peggy. It’s the reason she and Pete Marshall’s courtship has been an on-off one for ages and she’s now left home and we don’t know where she is.’

  ‘Speaking to your father about all this won’t bring her back. Why don’t you leave him to me?’ his mother said eagerly. ‘I’ll tell him you know his little secret and he’s got to change his ways when our Peggy comes home.’

  Marty shook his head. ‘There’s nothing little about his secret. I need to see him have a change of heart. You telling him about our Tommy is bound to have repercussions.’ He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. By the time he caught a bus and it got him to Litherland, it would be gone eleven o’clock and the pubs would be open. ‘I need to find both of them and fast.’

  Fourteen

  Marty was hoping that if he did not find his brother or father in the Red Lion, then maybe he would see Irene’s brother, Jimmy. If he was not there, then perhaps the barman would be able to give him his address. As luck would have it, he found Jimmy standing at the bar with a pint in front of him, talking to the barmaid.

  Marty ordered half a pint from her and at the sound of his voice, Jimmy turned his head and stared at him. ‘Your brother was in here not so long ago. He was in and out in no time, though.’

  ‘Why was that?’ asked Marty.

  ‘I told him a man had been in here looking for him,’ said the barmaid. ‘He asked what he looked like and when I told him, he went all pale and shot out of here like a scalded cat.’

  Marty’s hand tightened on his glass. ‘Was the man middle-aged with a V-shaped scar on his chin?’

  She looked at him with interest. ‘You know him?’

  Marty nodded. ‘He’s our dad.’

  ‘I suggested he try the Caradoc - and I didn’t mean the Mission,’ she added with a smile.

  ‘It’s a pub, not far from Gladstone Dock,’ said Jimmy. ‘You can get a bus down that way if you want to try and catch up with him.’

  ‘Thanks!’ Marty’s expression was grim as he paid for his drink. ‘Irene sent me a note saying you’d seen Tommy in a jazz club in Liverpool,’ he said, raising his glass.

  ‘That’s right. The Cavern on Mathew Street.’

  ‘Her note said that Tommy was with a girl.’

  Jimmy nodded. ‘She was more of a woman and they were talking earnestly. I saw him again in here with her.’

  ‘I get you.’ Marty downed his pint.

  ‘In trouble with your dad, is he?’ asked Jimmy.

  ‘You could say that,’ said Marty. ‘Be seeing you.’

  Jimmy placed a hand on his arm. ‘Want company? If there was to be a fight, you might need help dragging them apart.’

  A slow smile eased Marty’s mouth. ‘Thanks for the offer. Although won’t you be expected home for Sunday lunch?’

  ‘Mam’s gadding about and our Irene is in Blundell Sands.’ Jimmy finished his pint. ‘Let’s go!’

  The two men went outside and headed for the bus stop. ‘I got a shock today,’ said Jimmy, scowling as he kicked an empty tin can that was lying in the gutter.

  Marty, who was going over in his head what he was going to say to his brother and father if he caught up with them, shot him a glance. ‘What kind of shock?’

  ‘Mam told me she was getting married again.’

  ‘You obviously don’t think it’s a good idea.’

  ‘Is it hell! He’ll be her third husband and she’s moving to West Derby to live with him and his kids! She told me to my face that me and our Irene are surplus to requirements.’ Jimmy paused. ‘I don’t know why I’m telling you this when I should be talking to our Irene about it.’

  ‘Sometimes you feel you just have to get something off your chest or you’ll explode,’ said Marty.

  ‘She expects me to tell our Irene,’ said Jimmy angrily. ‘She can’t even be bothered to visit her own daughter to do so herself.’

  ‘How d’you think she’ll take the news?’

  ‘She’ll probably be as annoyed as I am. Especially as she’s going to lose her job when the children’s home closes down.’

  ‘Surely Irene shouldn’t have much difficulty finding another one,’ said Marty.

  Jimmy shrugged.

  ‘So when is your mam planning on getting married?’

  ‘As soon as it can be arranged,’ muttered Jimmy. ‘I wouldn’t mind so much but it’s not that long since our stepfather died. He was a good bloke and we’d known him all our lives. I don’t know anything about this one, except Mam met him at Reece’s and they like dancing. Apparently he’s a widower with three children. I think he wants a housekeeper, meself, and someone to look after his kids.’

  Marty wondered if Jimmy had said as much to his mother but kept that thought to himself. ‘I don’t even know what his job is, except it’s good and steady according to Mam.’ Jimmy sighed. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘About what?’ asked Marty.

  ‘Our house! It’s rented and I don’t want to live there on my own and there isn’t a girl I want to marry right now.’

  ‘If Irene’s going to be out of a job, couldn’t she live with you?’ asked Marty.

  Jimmy did not appear to have heard him because he said, ‘Here’s the bus.’

  Once aboard the vehicle, Jimmy asked if there was any news of Peggy. Marty shook his head. ‘It’s a real worry.’

  ‘She’ll come back,’ said Jimmy confidently. ‘We all need a change at times, although it’s tough luck on the family and Pete.’

  ‘He didn’t know she’d gone until I went to see him,’ said Marty.

  ‘That must have come as a shock,’ said Jimmy, fiddling with his bus ticket. ‘I must go and see him. I could do with speaking to his mother. She might know something about this bloke Mam’s planning on marrying. Although at the moment the pair of them aren’t speaking.’

  Marty could not resist asking, ‘Why’s that?’

  Jimmy shrugged. ‘You know women. You say one word out of place and they get all huffy.’

  They fell silent and it was not until they were nearing the stop for the Caradoc that Jimmy, who had been twisting his bus ticket round and round his little finger, said, ‘I’ve come to a decision. I’m going back to sea.’

  Like many a Liverpool lad, Marty had once considered being a sailor. Only he had been seasick on a trip to the I
sle of Man and that had put an end to that idea. ‘So what stopped you going in the first place?’ he asked.

  ‘The ship was caught in this bloody big storm and one of the crew was washed overboard. We couldn’t save him and the atmosphere afterwards was terrible. The whole crew couldn’t wait to dock and get off the ship.’

  ‘That doesn’t bother you now?’ asked Marty as Jimmy stood up.

  Jimmy shrugged. ‘Can’t say it doesn’t bother me but I haven’t had a nightmare about it for ages now.’

  Marty followed him off the bus.

  ‘Our Irene has nightmares,’ said Jimmy.

  ‘About what?’ asked Marty.

  ‘Drowning. She nearly drowned last year but some bloke rescued her. Our stepfather had gone in to save her but he had a heart attack and died. Her rescuer vanished before he could be thanked.’

  ‘Maybe he didn’t want to be thanked,’ said Marty.

  Jimmy nodded. ‘I can understand that.’

  ‘Some people don’t like a fuss.’

  Jimmy agreed.

  It was only a short walk to the Caradoc and they went into the public bar which was fuggy with cigarette smoke. Almost immediately, Marty spotted his father drinking on his own at a table in the corner. He wasted no time going over to him as Jimmy headed for the bar.

  William glanced up as his eldest son sat on a stool on the opposite side of the table. ‘What are you doing here, Dad?’ asked Marty.

  ‘You have the nerve to ask me that?’ muttered William. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d seen Tommy? My own son keeping secrets from me.’

  ‘You know why, Dad, and you’re a right one to talk about being secretive. I went to see Pete Marshall yesterday and he showed me some photographs and said that his mother had gone out with you in the old days. She’d been a bridesmaid at your sister’s wedding. A Proddy wedding! What have you got to say about that?’ Marty challenged.

  William’s face changed colour and then he put the heel of his hand to the table and pushed it so hard that it caught Marty in the stomach, knocking the breath out of him. ‘You’ve got no right to go nosing into my past! That was then and now is now! I’m the head of this family and Peggy had no right to defy me,’ William shouted.

  ‘What’s going on here?’ Jimmy stood by the table, holding two glasses of beer.

  ‘Keep out of this, Jimmy,’ gasped Marty, managing to push the table away.

  ‘That’s your dad?’ said Jimmy, placing the two pints on the table and pointing a finger at William.

  ‘Who the bloody hell’s this?’ snarled William. He got to his feet and shot out his fist, catching Jimmy smack on the chin. He fell backwards on to the floor.

  ‘What the hell d’you think you’re doing, Dad?’ yelled Marty, sinking to the floor beside Jimmy. ‘You’ve bloody knocked him out.’

  ‘Good!’ said William, clenching both fists. ‘He shouldn’t have interfered.’

  By then several men and a couple of women had drifted in their direction and a barman and the licensee were also heading towards them. Jimmy began to stir and his eyelids fluttered open.

  ‘We’ll have no fighting in here,’ said the licensee. ‘I don’t want to lose my licence. You can get out!’

  William took one look at him, sniffed and headed for the exit, shouldering his way through the crowd.

  Jimmy groaned, fingering his jaw.

  ‘Are you all right?’ asked Marty.

  ‘I’ll survive,’ said Jimmy. ‘Where’s my pint?’

  ‘Drink up and get out of here,’ said the barman.

  ‘You do just that, Jimmy. I’ll be back in a minute,’ said Marty, once he had helped him into a seat.

  He left the pub and stood outside, absently rubbing his belly, while gazing along the pavement both ways before glancing across the road at the defunct overhead railway and towards the gate of the mighty Gladstone Dock. It was then he caught sight of a familiar figure marching along in the direction of Liverpool.

  ‘He can’t half pack a punch, your dad,’ said Jimmy with reluctant admiration as he stood behind Marty.

  ‘He had no right to punch you,’ said Marty.

  ‘No. I brought your pint,’ said Jimmy, handing the glass to him.

  ‘Thanks!’ Marty took the glass from him and downed half the beer.

  ‘Are you going to follow him?’ asked Jimmy. ‘I’ll come with you. I owe him one.’

  Marty had intended going after his father but now that Jimmy was sounding positively foolhardy, he changed his mind. ‘No, I’ve had enough of him for one day. I won’t get any sense out of him until he sobers up and even then it’s doubtful.’

  Jimmy nodded. ‘Gotcha! I was wondering whether to catch the train to Blundell Sands and have a word with our Irene. Let her know what Mam’s planning.’ He stared at Marty expectantly. ‘How about it?’

  There was no reason why Marty should go with Jimmy. In fact he knew it would be more sensible of him to go home. Trouble was that he was feeling all churned up inside. His mother would want to know whether he had seen his father or not and, if so, why hadn’t he stuck with him and brought him home. Then there was Bernie to face and she would want to know the ins and outs of what he had been doing. If he kept silent, she would go on and on until he felt like walking out again and not going back. Anyway, Jimmy probably needed an eye kept on him after taking that punch from his father.

  ‘All right, I’ll come with you,’ said Marty. ‘I could do with some fresh sea air.’

  So they took a train to Blundell Sands.

  As they walked up the road to Fair Haven, Marty asked him what it was like inside the children’s home.

  ‘No idea,’ said Jimmy, hands in pockets. ‘Never been to the place before. Why?’

  Marty stopped. ‘I just wondered whether you were planning to go up to the front door and ask to see Irene? I mean she’s one of the staff, isn’t she?’

  ‘You think I should go round the back?’ Jimmy stroked his jaw which was slightly swollen and bruised.

  Marty shrugged. ‘It’s only just struck me that the gates could be locked to keep the kids in. You should have telephoned and said that you had something important to tell her that couldn’t wait.’

  ‘Good idea!’ said Jimmy. ‘I thought I saw a telephone box just further back near the station. I could use that - if I knew the telephone number.’

  Marty swore beneath his breath. ‘There’ll be a telephone book in there!’

  They were about to turn back towards the station when Marty heard a gate squeak somewhere ahead and a moment later Irene appeared with another girl.

  ‘You’re in luck,’ he said, his eyes lighting up.

  He called out to Irene and he and Jimmy hurried to catch up with her and her companion.

  ‘What are you both doing here?’ she asked. ‘And what’s happened to your face, Jimmy?’

  ‘Mam has gone off her nut,’ he replied, grabbing his sister’s arm. ‘I persuaded Marty to come with me after his dad went off after punching me.’

  Her eyes flared wide in dismay and she stared at Marty. ‘Why on earth would he do that? And what has Mam to do with it?’ Irene was bewildered.

  ‘Mam doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ said Jimmy. ‘Except if it wasn’t for her telling me she was going to get married and move in with some widower and his kids in West Derby, I wouldn’t have been drinking at the Red Lion earlier.’

  ‘She’s what!’ cried Irene, turning and seizing hold of him by his lapels.

  ‘I told you she’s gone off her nut,’ said Jimmy with a satisfied smile, prising Irene’s fingers from his jacket.

  ‘We have to stop her,’ said Irene.

  ‘You’ve got a hope,’ said Jimmy. ‘She’s made up her mind and you know how stubborn she is.’

  ‘Get somebody to talk sense into her,’ said Irene. ‘Nellie Gianelli, she’s the one to do it. Mam has listened to her in the past.’

  Jimmy shook his head. ‘You haven’t seen her as often as I have. She se
es this as her last chance for love before she’s too old.’

  ‘But you said this bloke’s got kids. He could be using her,’ cried Irene.

  ‘That’s what I thought but I don’t think she’ll listen to us saying anything against him,’ said Jimmy.

  There was a silence.

  ‘I’m going to carry on to the beach and leave you three to it,’ said Deirdre, who had been listening to all that had been said so far.

  Jimmy glanced at her. ‘Who are you?’

  ‘This is Deirdre,’ said Irene. ‘Deirdre, you’ll have guessed this is my brother, Jimmy. Mr McGrath you’ve seen before.’

  Deirdre said hello.

  The two men nodded in her direction. ‘Let’s all go to the beach,’ said Jimmy.

  Irene looked at Marty. ‘Are you all right with that or have you got to get off home? I’ve yet to hear why your father hit our Jimmy!’

  ‘Jimmy just got in the way,’ said Marty.

  The four of them began to walk towards the sea. ‘I’ll tell you one thing,’ said Jimmy. ‘I’m not going to the wedding.’

  Deirdre blurted out, ‘You can’t not go to your mother’s wedding!’

  ‘Of course I can,’ said Jimmy firmly. ‘In fact, I’m thinking of going back to sea. Mam hated it when I was away. Maybe it’ll make her think twice about marrying some bloke I’ve never met.’

  Scowling, Jimmy strode ahead. Deirdre glanced at Irene and then followed him. Marty said, ‘Your mam’s really upset him.’

  ‘I know.’ She frowned. ‘Why didn’t you stop your dad hitting him? I mean your dad’s a big man and you’re older and tougher than Jimmy. I’m sure you could have, if—’

  ‘Are you calling me a coward?’ he interrupted. ‘Because if you are …’

  ‘I … I w-wasn’t,’ she stammered. ‘I’m sure you aren’t but I can’t help wondering why you didn’t.’

  He blew out a breath. ‘I wasn’t expecting it to happen! Just as I didn’t expect Dad to wham me in the stomach with a table a couple of minutes before. I didn’t realize how drunk he was.’