Baby Zeke: The Diary of a Chicken Jockey: The Complete Minecraft Series, Books 1-9: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

by Dr. Block

  “Do you think it went to tell Herobrine where we are?” asked Harold.

  I shook my head. “No. I think if it were Herobrine’s minion, it would have attacked us. Maybe the witch will know what it was?”

  “Maybe,” said Harold. “Let’s go find out.”

  We stood up and slowly walked the remaining distance to the witch’s hut. I crept to a window and peeked in the corner. I saw the witch standing in front of her brewing stand, working on some sort of potion. I did not see any sign of Otis or Bob.

  “She’s alone,” I whispered to Harold.

  Harold sighed, disappointed that our friends were not there. “Well, let’s go ask her what she knows.”

  We walked to the front door and knocked.

  “Go away or I’ll throw a potion of poison on you,” yelled the witch.

  “Hey, be nice!” yelled Harold.

  “Or what?” came the snarling reply.

  “Witch. We are just looking for our friends, Otis and Bob,” I said, trying to defuse the situation. “Sean the skeleton told us they might be here.”

  Silence.

  And then, we heard creaking footsteps as the witch cautiously approached the door. I put my hand on the hilt of my diamond sword, just in case. The footsteps had stopped just behind the door.

  The door burst open and the witch jumped out.

  Before I could pull my sword, she had engulfed me in a strong hug and shouted, “Why didn’t you tell me you were friends of Sean?!?! He’s awesome.”

  “Didn’t … realize … it … was … the … secret … password,” I managed to get out as the witch crushed my ribs with her hug.

  Realizing that she was about to suffocate me, the witch pulled away. “Sorry about that.”

  The witch looked at us. “You must be Zeke and Harold. Your friends told me all about you before they left.”

  “When did they leave? Where did they go?” I sputtered.

  The witch fingered the wart on her nose, like it somehow helped her to remember. “I’ve brewed a few potions since their departure, so … I’d say they left about an hour ago. They weren’t here long,” she said.

  “Netherrack,” I cursed. “We keep missing them.”

  “Any idea where they went?” asked Harold.

  “I told them about a village to the north of here. They said they would check it out to see if maybe you were there for some reason.”

  I nodded. Otis and Bob were relentless. They’d been looking for us for days with no luck, and yet they still persevered. They were true friends.

  “Okay, thank you,” I said. “But, uh, before we go, I have a question for you.”

  “Make it quick, I need to resume my potion brewing.”

  “Just before we knocked on your door, we saw a strange creature in the water. I can’t even describe it, it seemed completely wrong … all jumbled. Do you know what it was?” I asked.

  The witch laughed. I thought I detected a hint of evil in her laugh, but could not be sure. “Yes, I know. It is one of my chimeras.”

  “Chimera? What’s that?” I asked.

  “A chimera is a creature composed of parts from more than one animal.”

  “So, what was that one composed of?” I said, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer.

  “Squid. Cow. And zombie,” said the witch. There was a flicker of glee in her eyes when she said the word ‘zombie’.

  “A zombie? You experiment on zombies?” I drew my sword and pointed it at the witch. “What sort of insane freak are you creating abominations out of innocent zombies and non-hostile mobs?”

  The witch laughed. “You are but a child with no imagination, Zeke. I have told you where your friends are, but yet here you stay, threatening me and insulting the progress of science. Be gone, fool!”

  Harold tapped me with his wing. “Leave it, Zeke. We don’t have time for this.”

  Harold was right. I slowly returned my sword to its sheath. “I’ll be back, witch.”

  “I’ll be waiting,” she said as she slammed the door in my face.

  Chapter 5

  As we walked in the direction of the village, I was angry and disgusted as I thought about the witch’s experiments on zombies and other mobs.

  How could she do something so horrible? What other terrible chimeras had she made?

  “What is wrong with people?” I asked Harold.

  Harold shrugged. “Curiosity has been known to override morality. It’s a common thread throughout history.”

  “You should be a professor,” I said to Harold. “Maybe a village will hire you to teach philosophy.”

  Harold shook his head. “Doubtful. Most adult villagers just think of me as dinner.”

  “Think about it, Harold. They’d call you ‘Dr. Chicken’.”

  “Shut up.”

  I chuckled at the thought of Harold teaching philosophy to young villagers, most of whom were only concerned with learning how to become wealthy merchants. Deep thoughts about the meaning of life were the farthest thing from the minds of most of them.

  It was then that I saw something strange and horrible.

  It looked a little like a cow, but it had a sickly red and white coloring. It had strange shapes growing on it, they almost looked like mushrooms.

  I grabbed Harold’s wing and ducked behind a tree.

  “Oh my Notch,” I said to Harold. “Another chimera? Herobrine’s minion?”

  Harold looked at me like I was an idiot. “Seriously, Zeke? You’ve never seen a mooshroom before?”

  “A mooshroom? What kind of a stupid name is that?”

  Harold shook his head. “It’s a perfect name. It is a cow that has mushrooms growing on it.”

  “Maybe it should take a bath,” I said.

  Harold slapped his wing against his head. “Let’s just go talk to it,” said Harold.

  “Wait,” I said, putting my arm in front of Harold. “How do we know it is not Herobrine’s minion?”

  “We don’t,” answered Harold. “But, don’t you think Herobrine would use something a little more menacing and evil as his minion?”

  “Probably …. Okay. Let’s talk to it.”

  We stepped out from behind the tree. The mooshroom looked up at us with its vacant cow eyes and then returned to grazing. At least it is not Herobrine’s minion, I thought.

  “Mooshroom, what are you doing?” asked Harold.

  The mooshroom looked up again. It looked at Harold while it chewed the grass in its mouth. Then it said in a low voice, “Eating.”

  Harold looked over at me and mouthed the word “derp.”

  “Hey, mooshroom, did you happen to see a baby zombie pigman and another chicken come by recently?” said Harold.

  “No,” it said.

  “Oh, okay,” said Harold. “By the way, how did you get here? Shouldn’t you be living on a mushroom island?”

  “A player led me away from my island. He ate my mushroom stew every day. Then he died,” replied the mooshroom.

  “From eating your stew?” I asked, shocked.

  The mooshroom shook his head. “No. He forgot to close his door at night. Zombies ate him.”

  I cringed when he said this. Zombies can be pretty gross. I turned to Harold and said, “Let’s get going.”

  Harold nodded. “Thanks, mooshroom. I hope you enjoy that grass.”

  The mooshroom did not say anything, but simply returned to eating his grass. Such a simple life, I thought, a little jealous.

  Chapter 6

  About ten minutes after we left the mooshroom, we could see a village off in the distance.

  “This must be the place,” I said, ducking behind a tree and sitting down. Harold followed and sat next to me.

  I peeked around the tree and considered the village for a few moments. “Seems kind of quiet,” I said. “Most villages have a little more activity during the day.”

  Harold shrugged. “Who knows with villagers? Maybe they are all at a village meeting or something.
”

  “Could be.”

  “Anyway, what’s the plan?” asked Harold.

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “If it were late in the day, I’d say we should wait until dark and then sneak around while the villagers slept. But, there are still another five or six hours of daylight. If we just sit here, Otis and Bob could be long gone by nightfall.”

  “I could go have a look around,” suggested Harold.

  I sighed. “I hate to do that to you, buddy, but I think it’s our only chance. If I go in there, the villagers will freak and any players who happen to be there will try to kill me.”

  “Alright, then,” said Harold. “I’m off. I’ll try to be back in an hour or so.”

  “Be careful,” I said as Harold walked toward the village.

  When Harold got near the edge of the village, he began to walk in a more ambling manner, stopping to peck the ground every so often. He was acting the way chickens are “supposed” to act. But, each time he lifted his head from the ground, he quickly looked left and right, scouting for information. After a few more steps, he disappeared behind a house.

  I leaned back against the tree and sighed. I hoped Harold would be safe. I could not bear losing him too.

  I reached into my inventory and removed a chunk of cow flesh. I nibbled on it, hoping that a full stomach might help me stop from worrying so much while I waited for Harold to return.

  ***

  I knew I was dreaming. That meant I was asleep. I should not have fallen asleep so close to a village during the daytime, but I did.

  In my dream, I had traveled to a strange place. At first, I did not recognize it, but then I noticed the tall, skinny black figures moving about.

  I was in the End!

  I saw the ender dragon circling several obsidian pillars in the distance. I saw endermen walking around, occasionally teleporting.

  But, why was I here? I’d never been to the End, so dreaming about it did not make much sense.

  As I stood there, watching the creepy world of the End, I thought about what Zeb had once told me: the Ender King is the Protector in the balance of the Three. Notch is the Creator and Herobrine is the Destroyer.

  Speaking of the Ender King, where was he? He told me he would help me if I ever came to the End. And then, I realized that I was not really in the End right now, so why should the Ender King come to me?

  I continued to stand in the same place, observing the End. It was actually a pretty boring dream.

  But then, I noticed the enderdragon had stopped circling. It was flying away from its pillars and … towards me!

  I tried to run, but my feet would not move. It was as if they were glued to the ground.

  I reached down and grabbed one ankle, trying to lift my foot from the ground. It was too heavy. It was as if I was rooted in place.

  The ender dragon was coming closer. I could see that he was looking directly at me, as if I were prey.

  “Wake up, Zeke! Wake up!” I yelled at myself to no avail.

  The ender dragon was approaching swiftly. He slowly opened his mouth, revealing huge teeth.

  Oh my Notch! This was it.

  The enderdragon closed the final distance faster than I could have imagined possible. His mouth engulfed me and closed with a snap.

  “Aaack!” I awoke screaming. “No!”

  I was sweating and breathing hard. It had seemed so real. I had thought I was going to die.

  I looked down at my body, checking to make sure all of the limbs were still there. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that I was whole.

  “I wonder where Harold is?” I said aloud quietly.

  “Come with me and I’ll show you,” said a menacing voice.

  Chapter 7

  I looked up and then pushed back against the tree in horror. Standing before me, leveling an obsidian sword in my face, was the most hideous … thing … I had ever seen. It had the head of a creeper, the body of a skeleton, and the legs of a zombie.

  “What … what … what are you?” I asked. “A chimera?”

  The freakish thing leaned toward me, easing its sword closer to my chest. “No questions, scum,” it said. “Come with me, now.”

  What choice did I have? As I stood up, I asked, “Are you Herobrine’s minion?”

  The thing slapped me on the head with the flat of its sword. “What part of ‘no questions’ did you not understand? Now move.” It shoved me in the back, pushing me in the direction of the village.

  As we entered the village, it appeared deserted. Maybe the villagers were hiding, I thought. If I saw this freak walking around, I would hide too. Or, run away.

  The thing directed me to a large building on the opposite end of the village.

  As we walked toward the building, I was overcome with a terrible thought. “You better not have killed Harold,” I said.

  “Or what?” said the freak.

  It had a point. What could I do against that thing? If it didn’t stab me with its obsidian sword, it would just blow itself up and kill me that way. My only hope was to find Harold alive and then escape.

  We walked closer to the building. I was looking around the village for anything that might help me escape. Just empty buildings and no villagers.

  I had almost given up hope when I saw them. I noticed a tiny movement through a small window. I could just make out two young villagers hiding. I could see the fear on their faces.

  If I could escape, maybe they would help me like those other young villagers helped me get away from that dungeon a few days ago. It seemed like the younger villagers were more open-minded and willing to help out mobs than adult villagers.

  I winked at the two villagers. I could tell they saw me. I hoped they stayed there.

  We finally arrived at the building. The creeper-headed freak pushed the door open with its skeleton hand and shoved me inside.

  I heard laughter. It sounded familiar.

  When I looked up, I was shocked.

  It was the witch!

  Chapter 8

  “I should have known it was you. Who else would have sent a chimera after us?” I spat at the witch.

  “Be quiet, fool,” she replied.

  Then I had a terrible thought. “Sean betrayed us?” I asked.

  The witch laughed again. “No, Sean had no idea. He really did think I would help you. And, a few days ago, I probably would have. But, the 1,000-diamond bounty and certain other … rewards persuaded me to capture you.”

  I was relieved to know Sean was not evil, but then, I had an even more terrible thought. “Wait. Are you Herobrine’s minion?”

  The witch laughed so hard that a booger popped out of her nostril. Without even wiping it, she said, “Not even close. I’m just in this for the money. You’ll meet the minion soon enough.”

  It was then that I noticed Harold was in a cage in a corner of the room. He was looking at me with a forlorn expression. He looked utterly miserable, and who could blame him.

  “Let Harold go,” I pleaded with the witch. “He’s just a harmless chicken.”

  “That’s not what I heard,” said the witch. “I heard that without him, you’d be dead already.”

  Even though the witch was right, I needed to convince her that Harold should go free. If she let him out of his cage, maybe he could think of a plan for us to escape from the minion.

  “Seriously, witch, Harold’s a dweeb. He’s all like ‘derp’ and ‘eek’ and ‘save me’ whenever we get into any battles. Just let him go so he can peck dirt for the rest of his silly, pathetic little life,” I said laying it on thick.

  I looked over at Harold. He was giving me the stink-eye.

  The witch rolled her eyes. “Shut up, you.” Then she pointed at the chimera and ordered, “Toss him in the other cage.”

  The chimera poked me with his obsidian sword. “Move it,” it said.

  This was it. I was going to be captured and turned over to Herobrine’s minion and, I suspected, to Herobrine. I was about to coll
apse into a fetal position and quiver for the rest of my life, when I remembered something. I remembered what I had said only a few days ago, when I vowed never to be captured.

  At that moment, when I remembered my commitment to freedom, an escape plan instantly popped into my head.

  I glanced around the room quickly to assess my plan and then, I sprang into action.

  I rushed at the witch and knocked her to the ground before the chimera freak could react. I tore aside the witch’s cloak and grabbed several potions from her pockets.

  I tossed a potion of slowness on to the chimera, followed immediately by a potion of poison and weakness. They quickly had their desired effect. The freak stood wobbling on its zombie legs while the skin on its creeper head turned an even darker green.

  Leaving the witch sprawled on the ground, I jumped toward the damaged chimera. I knocked into it as hard as I could. When it stumbled, it loosened its grip on its obsidian sword. I took that opportunity to quickly grab the sword.

  I jumped into the air, raised the sword high over my head and brought it down with all my might on the chimera’s skeleton chest.

  My strike was totally crit.

  Star particles rose from the freak’s body. I was about to strike again, when I noticed the creeper head flashing.

  “It’s going to blow, Zeke,” yelled Harold from his cage.

  I dove away from the chimera just as the creeper head exploded, and the chimera disappeared in a puff of smoke. It dropped only a tiny black pebble, which I assumed was its evil, twisted soul.

  I turned and saw the witch toss a potion of harming at me, but I was too quick, and I slashed at it with the obsidian sword, shattering the bottle and avoiding contact with the potion.

  “Now, you are going to pay for what you’ve done,” I said through clenched teeth.

  The witch cowered in front of me. I was prepared to strike when I heard the most horrible, evil, twisted sound I have ever heard. It sounded like thousands of souls screaming in agony. It was coming from just outside the building.