David

by Lindsay Cross

  David

  Men of Mercy

  Lindsay Cross

  Cypress Bend Publishing

  Contents

  Copyright

  Introduction

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Before you go…

  Raylan: Men of Mercy, Book 5

  Ravaged River: Men of Mercy, Book 6

  Also by Lindsay Cross

  Copyright © 2015 by Lindsay Cross

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Introduction

  Part of this story was previously published in the Anticipation: A Hearts & Handcuffs Anthology.

  Praise for the Men of Mercy Series

  “Lindsay Cross delivers high-powered action, alpha heroes and an exciting conclusion!”

  - ELLE JAMES

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  "This is one of those books that the phrase sit down, shut up and hang on would be used because it’s a wild ride from page one to the end."

  - 5 Star Goodreads Review, Redemption River

  "This book was wall to wall action. Once the danger hit, it never slowed down. I was late leaving my house because there was no way I could stop reading."

  - 5 Star NetGalley Review, Redemption River

  Acknowledgments

  I want to give a huge thank you to Megan Mitcham for your daily motivation and for keeping it real. Your badass Base Branch Series rocks!!! I couldn’t have done it with out you!

  Another big shout out to Kim Killion and Jennifer Jakes-without you and a bucket load of patience, the Men of Mercy would never have these truly awesome covers.

  Thank you to my dad for giving me the love of reading and to my mom for dropping everything to read my books and catch those last minute mistakes.

  My beautiful beta readers, Jenna, Jamie and Lauren-you’ve helped make the Men of Mercy shine.

  And last, but most definitely not least, thank you to my true military hero-my husband. I love you all.

  One

  “That's it!” Lori grabbed the trash bags from the kitchen floor and strode outside. Crisp morning air bit her cheek. Her legs scissored down the drive. She plopped the trash behind her husband’s car. Three days. Three days he’d come home from work, walked straight to the dining room, and buried himself in case files.

  Lori’s anger rose with the sun. No more bending over backward to make everyone happy. No more moping through their house, picking up after everyone. Today was a new day.

  By the time she re-entered the kitchen the automatic coffee maker had filled her cup. She mixed in vanilla creamer and sugar—her one lapse in food control for the day—and sipped. The deep, dark aroma of Arabian filled her mouth. This used to be her favorite time of day. She and David would sit together and sip coffee in the quiet. No kids. No housework. No distractions.

  Pounding footsteps sounded on the stairs. Too heavy to be the kids. Her heart picked up. She hastily poured a cup for her husband and held it at the ready. Maybe if David stopped, even for a second, she’d warn him about the trash-trap behind his car. Maybe he would kiss her and tell her how much he loved her.

  David rushed through the kitchen, ignoring the coffee. He brushed a faint kiss on her cheek. She caught the scent of his soap—fresh and masculine. She barely had time to tilt her head before he bolted for the door.

  Lori turned and poured his coffee into the sink. Each drop seemed to burn straight through her veins. She watched the dark brew swirl down the drain, taking her heart with it. She had the fleeting notion to turn on the garbage disposal and grind it up to match the heart David had mangled.

  She leaned against the counter and sipped from her steaming mug. In the distance, David’s engine whispered to life. She tensed even as a heady sense of justice filled her. She’d asked him to take the trash out every day this week. And each day he’d ignored her request.

  His serviceable sedan was energy-saving quiet, but she knew the minute he hit the garbage. Energy-saving or not, squealing brakes sounded the same. Seconds later his car door slammed. Their entire town likely heard his curse.

  She could have straightened from her slouch against the counter, but didn’t bother. If he couldn’t bother to be a husband, she wouldn’t bother to be a wife.

  The kitchen door banged against the wall, probably knocking a small hole in their sheet rock, definitely chipping off some baby-blue paint.

  “What the hell were you thinking?”

  David stalked forward. Dark sweatpants and a hoodie hid his narrow waist. His normally close-cropped blond hair hung as shaggy as his beard. He’d transformed into someone she didn’t recognize. Someone his undercover work had created.

  A dangerous cop turned criminal loomed over her. Not her husband. Not the father to their children. Not a part of their family.

  He was a stranger.

  “I’m sorry, are you speaking to me?” Lori knew her words would piss him off, but didn’t care. She welcomed any reaction rather than indifference.

  “Who the hell else would I be talking to? The goddamn trash fairy? I know you put that garbage behind my car. You knew I wouldn’t see it.” David’s voice rose, his steel-grey eyes burned liquid silver. In ten years of marriage and two children, waves of anger had never rolled off him as they did now.

  “Well, if you’d bothered to do what you said you'd do three days ago, you wouldn’t be in this mess. I asked you to take out the garbage. You said you would. You failed to comply. So I did it for you.”

  David roared and slammed a fist into the cabinet beside her head. Lori jerked and an icy blast of fear drained the blood from her face. Had she finally pushed him too far?

  “Now I have to ride to work in a car covered in trash. I’m not cleaning that shit up. I’ll let it rot before I pick up your mess.”

  Lori sat her coffee cup down and straightened. She yanked her robe tighter, as if the flimsy silk offered any protection. On the outside, she remained calm. Collected. Inside she trembled. Hurt and anger competed for dominance. “I’m used to doing everything by myself. Cooking. Cleaning. Climaxing.”

  “Goddammit! No wonder we haven’t had sex in a year! I come home to a cold wife because you’ve already taken care of yourself.” David’s chest swelled, his shoulders tightened. He met her toe to toe.

  “Seriously? You think that’s my fault? You ignore me and sti for hours on end working at the dining room table or you’re gone for weeks on end. Hell, you pass out on the couch more often than you make it upstairs tour bed.” Her cheeks felt like they were on fire she was so damn angry.

  His gaze narrowed, and he slowly shook his head. “Do you think I don’t want to be home or that I’m working this goddamn hard because I like it? I work to support you and our children. What do you want me to do? Quit my job?” He jabbed the air with his finger and yelled, punctuating each word. “You’d lose this precious house. Your reputation as the perfect, fucking mom-of-the-year.”

  Lori felt like her head would explode. Did he think she was some trophy housewife with a PTA brain? “I could give a load of dog crap for this house. This life. You think I care about that?” She wanted her husband back. She wanted her life back. Her heart.

  She took a deep breath to still her trembling. He would not see her weak. “You took on this big-time case. Big time drug d
ealers. And you forgot about me. About us. About your family.”

  “Lori...” Something in his eyes softened.

  Was that regret or pity in his gaze?

  She held up her hand to stop him. He needed to know she was dead serious that something had to change. “I don’t know who you are anymore. But I know who you’re not. You’re not my husband. You’re not our kids’ father. You’ve turned into a stranger.” Lori sucked in a breath. Her words burned her throat like acid. “I can’t take it anymore. I won’t.”

  David jerked back as though she’d slapped him. His expression flashed from anger, to shock, and then back to anger.

  Tears cracked her shield and fell down her cheeks. She wiped at them, abrading her skin with the force. He either didn't get it or he didn’t care. If he cared, he would be holding her right now, telling her how much he loved her.

  “You want a divorce?” His words stabbed her, ripped open her chest.

  Divorce? The thought never entered her mind. She froze at how quickly it had entered his. The thought that David might want to separate left her shaken.

  Maybe he hadn’t been gone all those nights for his job. Had he been seeing someone else? She stumbled backward and grabbed the counter for support. An image of him kissing some leggy blonde with stripper boobs flashed through her mind. Was that the reason for his neglect, his forgetting she even existed? “Have you been cheating on me? Is that why you’re never here?” Her voice was weak, all the anger sucked out and flushed down the shit-hole of her drowning marriage.

  “What? What the hell are you talking about? You think I’m gone because I’m seeing another woman? I am an undercover agent. My job doesn’t shut down at five o’clock. You’re talking about ending our marriage over some imaginary female?”

  David’s voice filled with incredulity. Like she’d lost her mind. And she almost wavered, almost gave in. “Is that what you want?” Lori took a deep breath, the words burning her throat like shards of glass.

  “No. I want my wife back. The girl I fell in love with.”

  “I’m not a girl! I’m a woman. A mom. I drive a freaking minivan! The kids barely see you. I didn’t sign up to be a single mom.”

  "I can't believe you said that. I work my ass off for this family. Everything I do is to give you and the kids the things you want!" David wrapped his fingers around her arms and held her prisoner to his gaze.

  "I don't want this. The kids don't want this. They want their father. They want you to go to a baseball game. You haven't even seen Tim play this year. And Miley? Did you know she's moved up to level four in gymnastics? After only six months?" The words kept coming; all the hurt that had built inside spilled out in a downpour.

  Her words hit the mark and David flinched.

  Instead of satisfaction, remorse weighted her shoulders like a wet coat. Deep down, she knew David worked so hard for them. For their family. Or he used to.

  "You think I don't want to be there? I would rip out my goddamn heart, stick it in a golden canister, and give it to you if I could. I hate not being here but my only option is to quit my job." David leaned forward, as if he could make her understand simply by proximity.

  Lori bowed back, suddenly unsure what to say. What did she want him to do? She didn’t want him to quit his job. He loved his job, at least she thought he did. He used to talk to her about his cases, how much he loved getting the bad guys. But now, it seemed all she saw was the back of his shirt on the way out of the door. And sometimes, not even that.

  Her glance slid away, and she cleared her throat. "Can you take fewer cases? You've worked there for ten years. You've climbed the ladder. Why do you have to be the one putting your life on the line? When you have more standing right here.

  He gave her a little shake, and his eyebrows lowered as his gaze bored into hers. "What do you think happens when you go undercover? That I can suddenly hand all my cases off to everyone else? No, they all look to me to get the job done. To finish the case. I'm not going to put off my responsibilities on someone else just because you’ve got your feelings on your sleeve all of a sudden.”

  Lori grabbed his forearms and let her desperation show. “I'm not asking you to hand off your cases. I'm asking you not to take so many on in the first place. You work so hard at your job—that's why you're so good at it, and I'm so proud of you. But you need to work hard at your marriage too, because you suck at it. And I'm not going to stand around forever waiting on you to be my husband again."

  The minute the words left of her mouth she wished she could take them back. But words didn't come with a return receipt. Once they left, there were no take backs.

  David’s eyes widened. Hurt flashed hot in their steely depths. "Are you threatening to leave me?" he whispered, his voice wrong...fragmented.

  She wanted to scream, No, she hadn’t meant what she’d said, but she couldn’t. A part of her had meant it. She was tired of being alone. Tired of making all the day-to-day decisions. Hell, she was just plain tired.

  Lori lifted her chin and locked gazes with her husband. "The last thing I want to do is leave you. I love you. I've always loved you. And I need you. I need the man I married back."

  xxx

  "Mom, what happened?"

  Lori looked up from the concrete and sighed. Her children seemed to grow a couple of inches every week. Miley, now six years old, approached, her curly blonde hair bouncing around her tiny shoulders. Tim, at nine years old, had Lori’s dark brown hair and eyes. He walked right behind Miley, thumbs hooked under his backpack straps. He always hovered over his little sister, protecting her. Just like his dad.

  Both wore matching frowns as Lori tossed the last piece of trash into the garbage bag and rose from the driveway. "Just an accident. I spilled the trash carrying it outside.”

  Lori suppressed a brief flair of guilt for the little white lie. She couldn't tell her children the truth. She could barely think about her fight with David without fresh tears filling up her eyes.

  "You stink." Miley wrinkled her nose and waved a hand in front of her face. Her steel gray eyes were a mirror image of her father’s.

  "Gee, thanks,” Lori said. Miley not only had her father’s eyes, but his unfiltered mouth.

  "Mom, do you think dad will make it tonight?"

  Tim's hopeful gaze met hers and Lori forced a smile, when all she wanted to do was cringe.

  She had no idea if David would make it or not, but based on his track record she wouldn't place any bets. After their fight this morning, she wasn't even sure about their marriage, let alone his commitment to see her son’s baseball game.

  "I'm sure he will if it's possible baby, but you know if he has to work, he can't help it."

  Tim's hopeful smile slowly faded, his forehead smoothing out as his eyebrows drooped. The mask of disappointment settled all too easily on his young features. "Okay."

  A flash of anger zinged through her veins, and she silently cursed David. How could he not see the disappointment on his children’s faces? How could he not see it on hers?

  Lori recognized Tim’s expression all too well, because it was the same one she'd worn for the past couple of years. But seeing it on her sweet son’s face tugged her heart right down to the concrete.

  "Well, I'll be there for sure. And so will mommy - isn't that right?" Miley’s chin lifted, the freckles on her cheeks beaming in the sun. Her small shoulders squared like a mini-replica of Superwoman. Off to her brother’s rescue.

  "That's right,” Lori said with a soft smile. “And tell you what, Tim, after the game you get pick the restaurant."

  His blue eyes lit with enthusiasm. "Yes, Papa's Pizza

  Place. I want those cheese sticks with extra, extra, extra cheese."

  "You got it." Only a thousand calories apiece. Her pants wouldn’t thank her for that one, but really, why did she care? It wasn’t like her husband noticed if she gained weight.

  Lori moved in to give them a hug.

  "No way, mom," both children chi
med simultaneously.

  "Don't worry, in a couple more years you guys will get to take out the trash." Their usual groan of complaint followed, but it was halfhearted. She had to count herself lucky for having such wonderful children. "There's the bus. Have fun at school today, guys."

  She blew them an air kiss and watched as they boarded the bus and it pulled away. Their welcome distraction now gone, Lori carried the trash bag to the plastic dumpster, feeling every single ounce of its weight pulling her down right along with her marriage.

  When had things fallen apart so badly? They’d been so close, so happy. They’d shared everything. And now…now she didn't even know who David was.

  But she knew the divorce rate in the Drug Enforcement Agency was above average. David's boss told her it was almost like being a military spouse, that the agents were gone a lot. His boss had asked her point blank if she could handle being alone, and back then, so young and naïve, she’d told him yes, without a doubt.

  Now here she was, two years down the road, and her confidence in her marriage was shakier than a damn earthquake.

  Lori went into the house to clean up, her answer to David's boss haunting her every step. Had she given up on their marriage? Was she as much to blame as David, if not more so? She’d sworn she could handle the loneliness, just so long as she knew their love was strong.

  She went into her bathroom and gripped the sink, needing support before her knees gave out. Did she want a life without him?

  No. She couldn't imagine her life or her children’s without David.

  No matter how distant or cold he’d become, she still looked for his headlights in the driveway every night. Her thoughts circled around David and her family. If he left, it would rip their foundation right out from beneath them.