The Captain and the Best Man

by Catherine Curzon

  “I stayed in a tent on the beach, and I had the time of my life.” He shielded his eyes against the sun. “Best holiday ever.”

  “That sounds amazing! Wish I’d come here when I was ten.” Josh pictured Priscilla’s hairsprayed cloud of chestnut waves. “Bet your mum hated it, though. Where would she have plugged in her curling tongs in a tent?”

  “Bless her.” Rey sighed. “She wasn’t here. I’ll tell you later, if I get drunk enough!”

  “That doesn’t surprise me—she doesn’t seem the tent type!” Josh led the way up to the bar and Noah greeted them. “This young man is about to get married. I prescribe the most ridiculous cocktails you have, with millions of paper umbrellas and plastic mermaids and sparklers. Don’t you think so, Rey?”

  “Bring it on,” he agreed. Across the bar, Teri sat with a woman Josh now recognized as a fellow flight attendant. She spotted him and pantomimed a look of saucy shock, fanning her face with her hand. “Who’s your lady friend?”

  “Oh, that’s Teri, she was the flight attendant on plane yesterday. That’s the other flight attendant with her.” Josh waved across the bar to her. “They’re a really nice bunch.”

  And one person in particular…

  “I would be if I had her job!” Rey waved and she raised her glass in reply.

  “Yeah, it must be great to travel. Erm…I was going to ask—” Before Josh could pop in a mention of his plus one, Noah appeared with two cocktails that were just as ridiculous as Josh had hoped. He paid Noah, and he and Rey laughed as the sparklers fizzed. The drink inside the glass seemed to glow radioactively. “I am so getting flashbacks to Freshers’ Week!”

  “Oh God, don’t remind me!” Rey winced. “Me and you unpacking our pots and pans in the kitchen and both trying to be dead cool. And bloody Mum saying, ‘Go and introduce yourself, he looks like a nice boy!’”

  “Do you remember my awful plates? Those horrible stripy ones which I thought were the best thing ever?” Josh rolled his eyes. “And then we went to the Students’ Union bar and got hammered and were doing karaoke before ten o’clock at night! But it was fun.”

  “And we both turned out all right, didn’t we?” He took a sip of his drink. “That’s bloody potent!”

  Josh took a mouthful of his. “Bloody hell, how many bottles of rum is in that?” He stirred it, watching the colors change. “It’s like drinking a lava lamp! Hey, look…I hope this doesn’t seem really, really weird, and I’ll stump up the dosh if needs be, but it’d be really awesome, and I’d be so grateful… Could I have a plus one for the reception? Would you mind?”

  “Oh yes? Holiday romance?” He raised one eyebrow. “No problem. Is he coming to the ceremony too? Bit of moral support for the best man?”

  “I wasn’t sure if you’d want a stranger at the ceremony, but…if you wouldn’t mind.” Josh leaned closer, conspiratorial. “He’s housetrained, I promise, and he’s so handsome, all the bridesmaids and the mums will faint.”

  “Bloody hell, is he going to outdo the groom?” Rey grinned. “We’re getting married on the beach—I think we’ll end up with plenty of unexpected guests! Smart dress code though, no flip-flops!”

  “Don’t you worry about that. He can dress formal.” Josh gave Rey a wink, then stirred his drink again. “I suppose it is a bit of a holiday romance. We only met yesterday. But…turns out he doesn’t live that far away from me back in England, and we’ve decided to give it a go. Rey, I’ve got a boyfriend! Maybe it’s this wedding, it’s making me feel romantic!”

  Rey smiled and told him, “That’s what weddings do!”

  “I know you’ll probably think I’m being way over the top, but he’s the sort of man I could fall in love with.” Josh blushed and sipped his drink, his lips colliding with a tiny plastic palm tree clipped onto the rim of his glass. “I mean, I’m not in love with him yet, seeing as I only met him yesterday—that’d be ridiculous, wouldn’t it—but he’s just…just…wonderful.”

  “Maybe it’ll be your wedding next!” Rey took another slug of the drink, then told Noah, “Line up a couple more, please, mate!”

  “Maybe it will, and you’ll have to be my best man!” Josh nibbled the boozy slice of pineapple he’d found lurking in his drink. “Hang on…if there’s two grooms, does that mean there’s two best men? And what about bridesmaids? Groomsmaids, perhaps?”

  “Take my advice. When you get married, just run off somewhere and do it. It’s a bloody mare!”

  Josh patted Rey’s arm. “You sure you’re okay? The storm might not come anywhere near here—they’re unpredictable, you know.”

  “Mum’s really pissed off,” Rey admitted. “Because of the island.”

  “Why?” Josh glanced about the bar. All the customers were having a great time. He couldn’t imagine what someone could have against the place. “St Sebastian is awesome! Unless she thought you were going to make her rough it under canvas?”

  “Can I tell you something, mate? Without you thinking I’m a massive shit?”

  There was something in Rey’s tone that Josh wasn’t too sure about. Something akin to a storm on the horizon. “Erm…yeah? You’re not a massive shit, though, mate—we’re best friends, right? You can tell me anything.”

  “I’m really, really scared about tomorrow.” He glanced at Noah as he brought their drinks over, then addressed him. “Do you get a lot of weddings out here?”

  Noah leaned against the bar with the air of a wiser older brother. “Yeah, we do. And I’ve seen more grooms than you can count come in here and look just as scared as you do right now.” He gave Rey a matey slap on the arm. “Come on, man! Beautiful bride, handsome groom, what can go wrong?”

  “Marriages can, can’t they?” He was asking both men now. “Like, really wrong? Mum’s first marriage— they ended up hating each other. What if we end up like them?”

  “Her first marriage?” Josh blinked at Rey in surprise. “I’d never heard about that before. I mean, not that I’m an expert on my mates’ parents or anything, but I didn’t know she was married before she met your dad.”

  “Martin’s my stepdad,” Rey said, surprising Josh all over again. “But not really. He’s been Dad since I was six. He’s a stepdad, but he’s Dad Dad.”

  The floor was suddenly unsteady under Josh’s feet, as if it were laid on sliding sands. “He’s your stepdad?” Josh took a large mouthful of his cocktail. Then he put the glass down and shook his head. “But that doesn’t mean you and Stella will split up. You love each other, right?”

  “We really, really do.” He blinked, as though trying to focus. “I just keep thinking… What if we don’t always? It’s natural to worry, right?”

  “You got to do what feels right,” Noah advised sagely. “See that woman over there? That’s Teri. We’ve been seeing each other some time. She flies over here, we spend a few days together, then she’s gone back to England and we wait until she’s here again. I’d marry her like that!” He snapped his fingers. “Maybe it’ll happen one day. You’re lucky, man. You’ve got a beautiful fiancée, right? She loves you, you love her. And maybe—one day, maybe you won’t love each other anymore. But if you love her right now, why worry? Get that ring on her finger and you won’t regret it.”

  Rey nodded slowly, as though it was the wisest thing he’d ever heard. “You should ask your Teri,” he said. “Life’s short.”

  Noah watched Teri from the corner of his eye. His smile was so gentle that Josh felt the floor shift beneath him again at the sight of so much love in Noah’s expression.

  “Maybe I should.” He gave Teri a wink. She replied with a coquettish wave and mouthed, love you. Noah wandered over to her and took her hand.

  “Oh, he’s not, is he? Right here in the bar?” Josh stared, open-mouthed. “You’ve started everyone off, now, Rey! There won’t be anyone single left on St Sebastian by the time you’ve finished!”

  Teri was peering intently at Noah. She blinked then her eyes widened and she squealed, “Oh my
God, yes!”

  “She’s keen!” Rey laughed finally and raised his glass. “Here’s to them!”

  Noah flung his arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth. Just then, a woman emerged from the kitchen, a tea towel in her hand. “Noah!”

  He broke from the kiss and turned to her with a grin. “She says yes, Mum! Me and Teri are going to get married!”

  “Una!” Teri clapped her hands together in excitement. “I did! I said yes!”

  Una flung down the tea towel and hurried to the happy couple, embracing the two of them at the same time. “And now I need a new hat!”

  “Do you think the Cap will give me away?” Teri clung to Una and Noah, tears shining in her eyes. “Can I ask him? He will, won’t he?”

  Una laughed. “Sure he would! You’re the daughter he never had!”

  Josh swallowed. There was something wrong with his eyes. Something obscuring them, hiding the scene before him.

  Tears. Big, fat tears were rolling down his face, and he hugged Rey. “Mate, you and Stella will be great—Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds!”

  Rey didn’t answer but Josh knew why—he could feel his friend’s tears on his shoulder.

  “It’s the booze.” Rey eventually managed to laugh, over the happy sobs of Teri. “I’m wouldn’t be crying without it!”

  Josh squeezed Rey’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared! You’re doing a really big thing. But it’s going to be amazing, and Stella’s just great, and I’ve hired a bloody tux!”

  “I better not have another after this.” Rey finally lifted his head and wiped his eyes. “Can’t be slaughtered for the eve of the wedding dinner, Mum’d do her nut!”

  “Shall I come with you to the hotel?” Josh brushed his fringe from his eyes. “But I might nip back here for a drink with Noah and Teri!”

  “Just don’t forget dinner at seven on the dot,” Rey told him. “It’s all got to be clockwork, or Stella and the mums’ll panic. I promise we’ll be done by ten, okay? I’m going to have a quick beer with the dads then get a few hours’ kip—I feel like death warmed up.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t miss the dinner,” Josh promised. “Tell you what, you’ll wish we were having dinner here, but I’m not sure I can see your mum getting over the beach in those heels!”

  “She had trainers on the plane,” he confided. “Went to the loo and came out all glammed up. She said she wants to do this in style!”

  “I love your mum, and I love her enormous Joan Collins clip-on earrings!” Josh raised his glass. “To Pris! And to Martin! And to Stella…and most especially to you, dear old Rey-Rey the Reymeister!” Josh blinked. What the hell was in this cocktail to make him sound like an annoying undergrad again?

  “She had her ears pierced in honor of the wedding!” Rey let out a long-suffering sigh. “Stella and Mum went to a spa and she came back with her ears pierced. She was all, ‘I went wild! I’ve got piercings!’”

  “Christ, I bet you panicked for a moment!” Josh chortled and slapped his hand down on the bar. “Sorry, mate. But see…weddings make people do weird things!”

  “Especially mums!”

  “Just as long as she doesn’t really try to feed me to the sharks, we should all be okay!” Josh clinked his glass against Rey’s. Rey laughed and slumped happily against the bar, as though an invisible thread holding him upright had been snipped. He looked like a different man already, relaxed or just knackered.

  “Cap?” Teri’s voice was loud with excitement as she positively shouted into her phone. Cap. Josh couldn’t help but smile, because Guy was currently getting his ear blasted somewhere in the island. “Can I come and see you? Yes, he’s here!”

  She glanced at Josh and mouthed, he says hello. “I’ll be five minutes!”

  Hello! Josh mouthed in return, accompanied by a camp wave.

  “He says hello back,” he heard her say. Then she pocketed her phone and, dragging Noah with her, approached the bar. Leaving her fiancé to go back to his customers, Teri whispered to Josh as she passed, “The boss’ having a beach day at cabana.” She arched a very saucy eyebrow. “Just so you know.”

  With that promise of Guy reclining on a beach in the sun and, Josh realized, probably wearing very little indeed, Teri was gone. Rey watched her as she wandered away along the beach, then decided, “It’s all happening here!”

  “I’ve only been here a day, but I’m convinced this place is magical.” Josh took the pair of necklaces he’d bought from the beach vendor out of their paper bag and put both on. He winked at Rey. “One for me, one for the boyfriend—when I see him later.”

  “How much’re you enjoying saying my boyfriend?” Rey grinned. “He’s a lucky guy, I hope he knows that!”

  Lucky Guy indeed!

  “I dunno, I’m the lucky one, really—he’s amazing.” Josh had to pull himself out of a daydream where Guy was enjoying his beach day wearing nothing but factor 50 and a smile. “We’re going to make a go of it, back in England. I really hope it works out. I have told him I’m just an HR manager, but he doesn’t seem to mind!”

  “Well, I can’t wait to meet him.” His friend gave a drunken smile and adopted a rather comical snooty air. “I hope your intentions toward my awesome mate are honorable, sir!”

  “They are very dishonorable indeed, sir, and I’m all for it!” Josh quipped.

  “Right.” Rey downed his drink and took a deep breath. “Let’s find the dads, try and sober up a bit, then have a last-minute panic about whatever the mums are freaking out over today. Ready?”

  Josh patted Rey’s shoulder. “Ready.”

  Chapter Six

  Priscilla was hardly the most relaxed of people, but as Josh watched her order everyone into the hotel’s breakfast room, where she then arranged the wedding party around the stacked tables and chairs, Josh did his best to give Rey a reassuring wink.

  “She’ll be fine, everything’ll be fine.” Josh sincerely hoped it would be. It didn’t look it though. In fact only Martin, Rey’s dad—stepdad as he now knew—looked anything like relaxed. In fact, it seemed to be his default setting.

  “She’s not letting Stella’s mum get a look in,” Rey muttered, folding his arms. “It’s embarrassing. I’ll be the one who gets it in the neck from Stel when we’re on our own.”

  “Stella’s mum is a grown woman—she can have a word with your mum if she wants to. She doesn’t look too unhappy.” Although she certainly didn’t look all that pleased, that was for sure.

  “I thought I told you to pay to attention!” Priscilla sighed, hands on her hips. “You two boys, honestly—we’ve got a wedding tomorrow. This is our last chance to rehearse! And. We’re. Going. To. Get. It. Right!”

  Pierre, the minister, the most chill person in the room, strolled toward Priscilla. Weddings evidently held no fear for him. “Mrs. Reynolds, we’ll get it right—if you stand just over here, with Mr. Reynolds?”

  He gestured toward the space next to Martin. Then he looked up toward the end of the room. “And Stella, you ready at the back with your dad? Give me a thumbs up!”

  “What about Mum?” Stella called, nodding to where her own mother waited beside the door, her lips set in a tight line. “She’s completely not part of any of this and she’s the bride’s mum. It’s like she’s not here!”

  Josh looked down at his hands. Stella sounded as annoyed as Angie looked. Like daughter, like mother.

  “I’m just here to hold the door,” Angie said coolly. “Apparently.”

  “Bride’s mother?” Martin shook his head. “Star of the show back where I come from. Get yourself onto this pretend front row, Ang, this wedding can’t happen without you in pride of place. Come on. Sure, you can’t leave me to deal with Pris’ perfume on my own, now!”

  A tight laugh ran through the wedding party. Priscilla even managed a grimace. “I just…my son’s wedding… I just want it to go well.”

  She looked at Martin, her large eyes edged with worry, and Josh swallowed. As annoying as
Priscilla was in mother-of-the-groom mode, Josh could appreciate why she was being like this. If her marriage to Rey’s dad hadn’t worked out, then her need to make this perfect for Rey was even more acute. Almost as if she was trying to make it up to him. But Josh couldn’t bring it up, so he patted Rey’s arm.

  “We all want it to go well,” Angie told her as she took her place beside Pris. She offered her opposite number a very sympathetic smile and added, “Because you and me will never hear the end of it if it doesn’t.”

  “It’s going to go well!” Stella informed everyone in a razor-sharp voice, so sharp that Rey started a little. “Except, oh, we’ve just been talking in reception about a tropical bloody storm that might be heading right for us, yay, go me! Wedding day hurricane incoming!”

  Pierre headed up the imaginary aisle toward Stella, an avuncular smile on his face. “We get storm warnings all the time, and most of them never touch us. And if they do, we get a little bit of rain and a little bit of wind. And that’s all. So…big smile for the minister? And bridesmaids too?”

  Pierre looked around Stella and counted. Josh counted as well.

  Oh, shit.

  “Rey, how many bridesmaids should there be, versus how many are actually standing behind your lovely fiancée at this moment?”

  “For fuck’s sake—” Rey clamped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry, Reverend, sorry, Mum. Sorry, everybody else, but… Did anyone see Louise? Wasn’t she here like five minutes ago?”

  Stella’s eyes opened very wide and so did Pris’, finally followed by Angie’s. And for some reason, they all looked at Josh.

  Josh pointed at himself and stared back at them. “She was here. Definitely. She was talking to one of the waiters outside. She—”

  So I’m not the only wedding guest enjoying a holiday fling?

  “Erm…has anyone seen that waiter? You know, the tall one with the bleached bit of hair just here?” Josh tugged at his fringe.

  Priscilla glared. “You mean Louise has gone…gone AWOL with a waiter?”