Tonic

by Heather Lloyd

  “You’ll have to get to know her better some other time. Right now, she’s going to be all mine.”

  “Olivia?” she asks. “Would it be alright to call you?”

  “I hope you will.”

  Leslie and I exchange info and we promise we will contact each other. I give her a hug and thank her for befriending me. Ryan tucks my arm in his and leads me out of the room. We stroll outside to the terrace and stand looking out over the rail at the lights of Los Angeles. Ryan moves behind me and circles his arms around me. Since it’s right in front of me, I glance at his watch to see what time it is.

  “Wow. It’s almost 2:00am. Happy Birthday Ryan,” I say, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

  “Thank you. You remembered.” He kisses my hair.

  “Of course I remember. But I didn’t get you anything.”

  “You being here with me tonight is my birthday present. Thank you.”

  We stroll some more, not talking, just enjoying the night. There’s a chill in the air but Kansas City was supposed to have gotten snow tonight. I can deal with a chill.

  “You’ve won everyone over tonight,” Ryan informs me after a little while. “I’ve overheard conversations and they all like you. They think you’re friendly, down-to-earth and not star-struck, like others would be.”

  “Everyone was so nice. I thought they would be more…I don’t know, snobby, I guess. I could definitely tell which people were going to be snobs, so I just stayed away from them. Leslie is great. Do you think she’ll really call me?”

  “Yes. She’ll absolutely call. Probably call all the time. She was the most skeptical when I told her about you. She was all set to kick your butt if you turned out to be some crazed fan. But you pulled her in, too. I can tell she likes you. She hasn’t liked any of the other girls she’s met and with good reason.”

  I shiver then. It is a little too chilly out. “You should have a wrap. Let’s go in before you freeze,” he scolds. “Do you want to go back to the party or up to our suite.”

  “Suite,” I barely whisper.

  I’m quiet on the way up. Sometime during the evening, I’ve decided I want to be with Ryan tonight – whether I tell him I love him or not is still up in the air. But I at least want to show him how I feel about him.

  Once we get back to our suite, Ryan asks if I would like a night cap. I accept hoping it will calm my nerves. Suddenly, I’m doubting again if he is still interested in me. Stupid doubts. I accept the glass Ryan hands me and wander around the suite as I sip from the glass.

  “You’re so quiet now. Is everything ok?” he asks.

  I’ve moved to the window and am looking out. He comes up behind me and turns me around to look at him.

  “Everything’s fine,” I say working up the courage. “Ryan….”

  “Yes, what’s wrong baby?” He looks worried.

  “I’ve, um….”

  “You can tell me anything Olivia. Please tell me what’s wrong,” he begs.

  “For some reason this is harder than I thought,” I mumble. My heart is about ready to leap out of my chest. “I’ve figured things out. I’m ready if you still want me.”

  His eyes change from worried to serious as he understands what I mean. He hesitates for just a moment, staring into my eyes. I’m not sure what he’s looking for but he must have found it. He takes my glass and sets both mine and his down. His hands come up to cup my face. “I will always want you, Olivia. Are you sure? You don’t need more time? I don’t want you to regret….”

  I’m surprised I can hear him over the drumming of my heart. I lift a finger to his lips to quiet him. “No regrets. I want you now,” I tell him.

  His eyes darken even more. I lean forward and kiss him. He is hesitant at first, but soon his arms wind around me, pulling me closer to him. We stand in front of the window, arms entangled around each other, trying to get closer to each other.

  Ryan breaks our kiss, bends over and picks me up. No one has carried me before. It feel fabulous – a fairy tale. He carries me to his bed and sets me on my feet in front of it and gives me one rough kiss. He turns me around, pushes my hair out of the way to unhook the expensive, on-loan necklace. I hear him set it on the nightstand. He reaches back up to undo the buttons on my halter dress.

  Ryan gently grabs my shoulders to turn me to face him again. His eyes hold mine as he slowly pulls the neck of the dress down. The top of the dress falls to my waist. I have no bra on since the dress has one built in.

  I hear Ryan inhale and moan. “God, Olivia, you are beautiful” he whispers. His hands circle my waist to the zipper, unzips it and the dress falls to a puddle on the floor. He helps me step out of the dress, then he picks it up and throws it over a chair. I only have a black lace thong on. “A beautiful angel. That’s what you look like. You’re my beautiful angel.”

  I’m so emotional I feel like crying. But I fight the tears away. I don’t want to miss any of this.

  I want… no, I need to see him. Granted, I know what he looks like without clothes - a benefit of him being an actor. But it’s a whole other thing to see him in person, to touch him, to feel those defined muscles under my hands and I can’t wait. My shaky hands work the cufflinks and buttons on his shirt and I’m finally able to remove it followed by the tank he has on underneath. Holy shit! My hands run over his chest. He’s so muscular, but he won’t let me enjoy. His hands are roaming all over me stopping me from removing more of his clothes. When I try to object, he just kisses me to keep my mouth busy and my brain numb, which happens every time he kisses me.

  Ryan’s hands move down my back to my hips and finally he pulls me against him. He leans me back just a little and bends down to taste and tease each breast. I moan. His mouth is so warm. He moves back to the first breast and sucks, while his hand squeezes and rubs the other. Then he switches, trying to give each breast the same amount of attention.

  He starts kissing me all over. My shoulders, my neck, my chest. He slowly turns me around to kiss my back. Ryan slowly keeps turning me so I am standing facing him again. He kisses me all the way back to my lips. His tongue plunges into my mouth and explores. Ohmigod. I know I have never, ever felt like this with Craig. This is pure ecstasy.

  “It’s my turn now,” I tell Ryan.

  I trail kisses along his jaw bone then nuzzle his neck. He groans. Finally, I’m able to explore those fabulous muscles on his chest and arms. I kiss his shoulders and move down to his heart. I can hear it thudding fast.

  “Is your heart beating fast for me?” I ask, seductively smiling at him.

  “Always.”

  I smile at him as I continue exploring with my hands. I rub them over his nice, tight ass. He inhales. I unbutton and unzip his pants, bending down to help him step out of them. Finally, we are both naked.

  “I’ve wanted my hands on you since we first met. I need you,” he explains.

  He picks me up again and lays me on the bed. Ryan lays on top of me kissing my lips, my neck, my shoulders until he reaches my breasts. He takes one into his mouth and sucks again. I’m floating. He moves on to the other one and does the same. Shivers run through me, I arch against him and there’s clinching in my belly. I can’t think, just react. My need for him is so strong. He’s slowly driving me crazy.

  “Ryan, please. I need you inside me,” I beg.

  He looks at me and nods. Ryan rises above me, moves my legs wider with his and slowly we become one. My world explodes. We fit together like we are formed just for each other.

  “Oh my God, Ryan!”

  “Olivia, you’re perfect. You feel so good.”

  He sets the pace slow at first, just getting used to each other. Then he moves faster.

  “Yes, Ryan, yes.”

  “Olivia, you feel so good. I have been thinking about making love with you since we first met. I’m not going to last much longer,” Ryan pants.

  He stares into my eyes as he pumps.

  “Come for me, baby.”

  He
command is all it takes to make me explode. He follows with a groan of my name, then collapses on top of me.

  We lay there, breathing heavily, exhausted.

  “Olivia? Are you ok? Do you want me to move?”

  “Don’t you dare move. I love the feel of you on top of me.”

  He rises onto his elbows to look into my eyes. “My Angel. You are so wonderful,” he grins at me. “You really do make me complete. I could stay right here with you forever.”

  That is my ‘Ah ha’ moment. I am content and happy again. I feel like nothing can get me down.

  “That sounds good to me.” I grin at him.

  Ryan moves so he can cradle me in his arms. We make love a couple more times before we finally fall asleep, arms and legs intertwined.

  I wake up the next morning. Ryan is still asleep. He kept his arms around me all night. I’m grinning like a fool. I am so happy. Kissing him all over, Ryan wakes up with a smile on his face.

  “I could get use to waking up like this every morning,” he says.

  “It is pretty nice, isn’t it?” I agree.

  “Nice, yes. But it could be a little better though,” he grins mischievously.

  “Oh? How so?”

  He shows me a much, better way to wake up.

  An hour later, since we’re both ravenous, we order room service. Ryan takes a shower first then turns over the bathroom to me and says to take my time because he has a few phone calls to make, the first being his parents.

  When I get out of the bathroom, I find Ryan sitting on the couch, staring into space. He watches me as I walk in and sit down next to him, tucking my feet under myself. He smiles at me, and pulls me to his side.

  I laugh and happily sit next to him. “What are you sitting here thinking about?” I ask.

  “I’m thinking about how deliriously happy I am right now and how lucky I am.” He brushes wet hair out of my face. “This is all kind of surreal to me. The best actor award. The best movie award. And best of all, you here with me. It’s all happening so fast. It’s exactly what I want but I can’t catch the reality of it all. I’m afraid it’s all going to go away. I’ll wake up from this dream and everything’s gone. I’m so happy you’re here with me. There are no words to describe how happy I am that you’re here with me.”

  “Oh Ryan! I’m happy, too. And I’m so thankful you came to get me and made me come here with you and share your special night with you. I would have been so disappointed if I had missed it. Ryan, you are a very talented actor and have worked hard and deserve all of this. As I’ve been told before, you just have to deal with things as they come. Thank you for letting me share this time with you. And Happy Birthday.”

  He looks at me thoughtfully and runs his knuckles down the side of my face. A big sigh escapes him. “I wish you could be with me more often. You keep me calm and sane.”

  “I may not be able to be here with you physically all the time, but I’m always available to you.” I give him a much needed hug. He must be a little sentimental because of his birthday.

  I pull back and find him studying me. “You know, you were stunning last night, but I prefer how you look right now. Naturally beautiful.”

  I feel my cheeks heat. “No, I’m not…,” I stutter, looking down.

  He snags my chin, carefully lifting my face until our eyes meet. “Yes, you are beautiful.” He hesitates for a second, like he’s going to say something else but decides against it. There is a knock on the door interrupting the moment. “Let’s eat.”

  After eating a light lunch, we check out of the hotel and head back to Ryan’s house in Malibu. We walk the beach, sit and watch the waves and people. We just wanting to spend time together. I have to leave the next morning to go back to Kansas City, and Ryan is staying in Los Angeles to do some work.

  Ryan cooks us dinner. I am pleasantly surprised at how well he can cook. He can definitely make me dinner anytime.

  We finally end up in his bedroom, lay in bed, talking. Ryan kisses me. It starts out sweet and gentle, but gradually the kiss becomes intense and almost takes on a desperate tone. Ryan is breathing deeply and I can feel him shaking.

  “Ryan….” I try talking to him, but he just quiets me with more kisses.

  He holds me so tight to him, like he’s never going to let me go. Finally, his hands move to undress me. Once he gets my shirt off, his hands tenderly knead my breasts, making me more frantic for him. I tug on the boxer briefs he has on until I get them off. Anxiously I grab his already alert member and rub and squeeze it. Ryan groans, tightening the grip he has on my arms.

  “Olivia, that feels so good.”

  I focus on him for a while. He’s breathing hard and moving his hips. It’s very sexy knowing that I am the one that is getting him all worked up. Me, Olivia Sterling. I have a smug smile on my face when Ryan looks at me.

  “You look like the cat that swallowed the canary,” he comments. “Enough focusing on me. Now it’s your turn.”

  Oh, boy!

  His hand slowly, gradually inches down between my legs. I’m already panting and he hasn’t even toughed me there yet. Finally, his finger touch me making me jump. All my nerves are on high alert. He swirls his fingers around and back and forth and dips in and back out to swirl once more.

  “Please, please,” I breathe.

  “Please what, Olivia?” Ryan asks, smirking.

  “I need you inside me,” I plead.

  “Alright, Sweetheart. I’ll give you want you want.” He grabs a condom off the night stand and puts it on. Then he moves to hover right over me, he pauses.

  “This is what you want, right?”

  “Yes, Ryan, please.” I try to pull him closer, making us one again, but he’s too strong.

  Ryan leans down and kisses me, and at the same time, he enters me. I moan into his mouth. He moves in me and my hips move to meet him.

  “Olivia…, he whispers. “I…,” he pauses. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  “I know, Ryan,” I say.

  I wrap my arms around him not wanting to ever let him go.

  “I don’t want to leave tomorrow,” I choke out, a few tears running down my cheek.

  “Shh, Olivia. Let’s not think about that yet. Let’s just enjoy loving tonight and we’ll deal with the rest.”

  We make love over and over all night. I can only think of how long it’s going to be before I see Ryan again. Just thinking about it makes me depressed. I fall asleep cradled in his arms.

  The next morning, I reluctantly get ready to leave. I feel miserable, so emotional. I do not want to leave Ryan, but what can I do? I have to go back to my own life again. And Ryan has to get back to his.

  I wonder if Ryan feels the same because he’s equally quiet the whole morning. He comes over and encases me in him arms when it is about time to leave.

  “Don’t go,” he whispers, looking miserable.

  I start crying.

  “Oh, baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I wish things could be different. I know you have to get back to your life. Same here. I’m going to figure out some time to come see you in Kansas City before I head off to London, OK?”

  I nod.

  Ryan takes my suitcase out to the car and drives me to the airport.

  “I don’t want to go. I’m going to miss you so much,” I say as more tears escape.

  “Oh, Sweetheart. I’m going to miss you too. Don’t cry,” He wipes the tears from my eyes.

  “Sorry. I can’t help it.”

  Ryan drives me to the airport and walks in with me, staying with me through check-in and up to the security gate. There he pulls me into a bear hug.

  “We’ve got to stop saying good-bye at airports,” he says, sighing. “Sarah’s picking you up in KC, right?”

  Not able to talk, I nod.

  “Call me when you get home.” He kisses me. I cling to him, unable to stop crying. I already miss him and I haven’t even left yet.

  I can hear a couple cameras clicking. Great.
That will be all over in a little bit, but neither of us care. We continue to hug and kiss goodbye.

  “I’ll miss you so much, Olivia.”

  “I’ll miss you, too,” I say with tears flowing down my face now.

  I have to move through security, otherwise I’ll miss my plane. I seriously think about missing my flight, but my boss would kill me. Ryan stands there watching me, waves when I turn around one last time. I am definitely leaving my heart with him this time.

  Chapter 10

  Sarah picks me up at the airport and drives me home. On the way there, I call Ryan to let him know I made it back ok. I can barely speak. He tells me not to be sad, that I should just remember our special weekend and how happy we are. He reassures me of his feelings for me. Reminding me that we’ll talk all the time and that he’s going to make time to come and see me before London.

  When we get to my house, all my misery of missing Ryan flies out the door and is replaced with anxiety. The police and my neighbors are in front of my house. My neighbor saw the woman who had been bothering me throw something through my office window. He tried to stop her but she fled too fast for him to catch up. He called the police, told them everything.

  I let the police in to check out my house. A big rock is lying in my office. On it is painted “BITCH”. Awesome. Well, she has me freaked out, which I’m sure is what she was after.

  There isn’t a good enough fingerprint on the rock to be able to use. So, we still have no clue who this woman is. Or why she’s stalking me, although I have my theories and the police tentatively agree. Obviously, she’s mad at me for something. Is it because I went to the Oscars with Ryan?

  Sarah called Taylor right away and she came rushing over. Between Taylor, Sarah and my other friends, one of them is going to be staying with me every night for a while. I’m ok with that. I’m too scared to want to be at the house by myself. I know I’ll be petrified by every little sound I hear for a while wondering if it’s her and if she found a way inside my house. We get some plywood and nail it in over the window until I can get someone to replace it. Olivia and Taylor say they’ll clean up the mess. I need to call Ryan.