Solitude (Cunningham Security Book 4)

by A. K. Evans

  Once I changed her diaper, I sat down next to Lorenzo and started talking to Gracie. It wasn’t long before she was no longer happy listening to me ramble on and on about my plans for a puppy.

  Turning my attention to Lorenzo, I asked, “Would you mind holding her while I go get her bottle?”

  He immediately tensed. “What if she cries?”

  I giggled. “She’s a baby, so that’s a strong possibility, especially since she’s hungry. Just talk to her or rock her until I get back.”

  I didn’t give him a chance to refuse. I simply settled her in his arms and took off toward the kitchen.

  Prior to leaving, Ekko had pumped and left bottles for the babies. Even though they weren’t planning to be gone overnight, you wouldn’t have known with the amount of milk and instructions she left me. I warmed Gracie’s bottle in the bottle warmer, confirmed it wasn’t too hot, and walked back toward the living room.

  When I stepped into the room, I nearly melted into a puddle on the floor. Lorenzo was holding Gracie in one arm, her whole hand wrapped around one of his fingers, and she was staring up at him like she didn’t have a care in the world. What made it even more heart-melting was the fact that when I walked in, Lorenzo didn’t even look up at me. He kept his eyes on the precious little girl in his arms.

  Moving over toward them, I caught his attention when I declared, “I think she likes you.”

  He grinned at me and teased, “I tend to have that effect on the ladies.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and snatched my phone up off the table. After snapping a picture of the two of them, I sent it off in a text to Dom.

  Your little girl already has eyes for this guy. Seems like you’ll have your work cut out for you in a few years!

  Dropping my phone back on the coffee table, I held Gracie’s bottle out to Lorenzo.

  “Oh, uh, maybe you should feed her,” he suggested.

  Just then, Hank started crying.

  I laughed. “Pick one. Feeding Gracie or getting Hank and changing his diaper,” I offered him his options. “Just a warning, boys can be dangerous when having their diapers changed.”

  Without hesitating, Lorenzo took the bottle from my hand. As I stood to go get Hank, I looked down at my big guy and felt my heart swell. I only gave myself a few seconds to feel that before turning and walking away to get my nephew.

  “Perfect timing, little man,” I cooed as I lifted him out of the crib. After giving him a bunch of smooches, I set him down on the changing table. “Okay, little guy, here’s how this is going to go down. You know that really handsome guy who came here with me? Well, he’s out in the living room holding your sister right now. I really like him and he likes me too, but I have a feeling he might not want to get near me tonight if you pee on me. So, can you do your auntie Jojo a solid and not let that happen? I promise to be quick.”

  Hank squirmed and chewed on his fists.

  Even though I worked faster than I ever had before, Hank was not interested in helping me out. The second I took his wet diaper off, he sprayed me.

  “Hank! That’s not cool, dude. I thought we had an agreement,” I playfully scolded him. “Now I’ve got to change your clothes, too!”

  Once Hank was in fresh clothes, I picked him up and carried him out to the living room. “Sorry that took so long,” I lamented. “Hank decided not to cooperate with me.”

  Lorenzo chuckled, “I heard. Grace and I were laughing at you out here.”

  “What?”

  “The monitor was on. We heard it all.”

  I frowned, bummed that I forgot the monitor was on.

  “I have to get Hank’s bottle,” I announced.

  “I’ll take him,” Lorenzo offered.

  I blinked in surprise. “But you have Gracie.”

  Lorenzo gave me a disbelieving look. “I’ve got two arms, baby. They aren’t crawling around anywhere yet. I think I can manage.”

  “She’s not done eating, though.”

  Pulling the bottle out of her mouth, he looked down at my niece and claimed, “Grace is a good girl. She’ll cooperate for me and hang tight until her aunt gets back. Won’t you, princess?”

  She smiled at him. She was absolutely in love with him.

  I couldn’t say I blamed her because not only was I madly in love with him, but I also adored that he was talking to her and that he called her princess. My heart couldn’t take much more, so I walked Hank over and settled him in Lorenzo’s free arm.

  Once I had Hank’s bottle ready, I sat down next to Lorenzo and scooped up my fussy nephew. While he ate, I asked, “Has she burped yet?”

  “She’s not done eating,” Lorenzo pointed out as he reached for her bottle.

  “Yeah, but she’s had about half of that bottle. You should try burping her so she doesn’t get a belly ache.”

  Lorenzo frowned and looked down at the little girl in his arm. “Alright, lady, no spitting up on me,” he instructed. After a few gentle pats on the back, Gracie burped.

  And she didn’t spit up on him.

  Lorenzo got back to feeding her, and after a few minutes had passed, I looked over and saw she was not even remotely interested in eating.

  “She’s totally smitten with you,” I marveled. “My niece is too busy flirting with my man to finish her bottle.”

  Lorenzo leaned toward me and promised, “Don’t worry, Jolie. She’s cute, but she’s too young for me. Besides, even though you smell like pee, I couldn’t possibly find you more attractive than I do right now.”

  “Oh, be quiet. I don’t smell.”

  He let out a laugh and said, “I know. I’m just teasing you. Give me a kiss.”

  I gave him a quick peck on the lips before we both turned our attention to the little faces looking up at each of us. For the next little while, all that existed were the two of them. Grace wanted nothing to do with me, her bottle, or sleeping. Lorenzo was all that mattered to her and he gobbled it up giving her all the attention she wanted. I had to keep telling myself that I was imagining it because she wasn’t even a full two months old yet, but I swore the girl had to know exactly what she was doing.

  Hank, on the other hand, was all about business first. Food was his number one priority. He ate and he did it quick. Once that was taken care of, he was content to just sit back and relax. He didn’t seem to mind one way or the other if I chatted with him, but since I had decisions to make, I figured I’d get his opinion. We chatted about his auntie Jojo getting a puppy and I was certain he smiled at me when I asked him if he thought it was a good idea. There was no way I could deny him the privilege of coming to my place when he was older and having a furry friend to run around and play with.

  It wasn’t much later when Dom and Ekko walked in the door. They came into the living room and Dom asked, “How were they?”

  “Perfect little angels,” I sighed.

  “I missed them so much,” Ekko murmured. “Did they eat?”

  “Hank is a champ when it comes to eating,” I praised my nephew. “Your daughter, on the other hand, can only manage that if she’s not too busy flirting.”

  Dom’s eyes narrowed on Lorenzo, who returned a blinding smile.

  “Look at her,” I started. “She’s been looking at him like that for the last forty-five minutes.”

  “Aw, she’s got good taste. You can’t fault her for that,” Ekko chimed in.

  Dom looked to his wife and scowled.

  “It’s my birthday,” she reminded him. “You can’t get mad at me.”

  “How was your night out?” I changed the subject.

  “Magnificent,” Dom answered, wrapping his arm around Ekko’s shoulders and curling her into his body.

  She agreed. “As much as I didn’t want to leave them, we really needed this time with each other to reconnect. Thank you so much to the both of you for being here for them and for us.”

  “Anytime,” Lorenzo assured them, as he shifted Gracie and rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyelids were getting he
avy. And they should be considering she barely blinked for nearly an hour.

  “Yeah, well, my daughter’s inflating your ego, so I understand why you’re willing to watch them now,” Dom joked.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Ekko. Happy birthday,” I said, ignoring the banter between the men.

  “Thank you. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a minute to run upstairs and change,” she explained.

  “Not at all. Go ahead,” I encouraged her.

  Dom sat down in the chair across from the couch Lorenzo and I were on. “I know we’ve already said it, but it bears repeating. Thank you so much for being here for the twins today. Life has been all about them since they were born and Ekko and I hadn’t realized how much we missed each other. We really do appreciate you both.”

  “It’s not a problem at all, Dom,” I insisted. “Lorenzo and I had fun with these two.”

  When I looked over at Lorenzo, I saw that Gracie had finally fallen asleep again. Her head was resting on his shoulder. She was so tiny in comparison to him, but she looked so peaceful and content.

  I continued, “But I’m not kidding. This little girl knows what she likes.”

  Dom just shook his head in disbelief.

  A few minutes later, Ekko joined us again. I stood with Hank in my arms and carried him over to his dad. Ekko walked to Lorenzo and carefully cradled her daughter against her. Gracie did not like being disturbed, especially when that disturbance resulted in her removal from the comfort of Lorenzo’s hold.

  She cried.

  Hard.

  Ekko thought it was adorable, the scowl returned to Dom’s face, and Lorenzo looked truly pained that Gracie was upset.

  “We should get going, so you can get them to settle again,” I suggested.

  Lorenzo and I said our goodbyes, wishing Ekko a happy birthday one last time before we got in the truck and drove away.

  That night, we went back to Lorenzo’s place. I had been to his place twice before over the course of the last few weeks, but Lorenzo preferred coming to me, so we typically spent the time at my place.

  Before we went to visit his mother, I had packed a small bag since I knew I wouldn’t be going home that night. When we arrived, Lorenzo carried my stuff in for me.

  In the light of his home, I could see he was preoccupied.

  “Hey, what’s going on, boss?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

  My head dropped to the side. “Something’s bothering you,” I pressed, knowing there was something on his mind.

  His eyes came to mine. “I love that little girl,” he told me, his voice soft. “Both of them, obviously, but she’s special.”

  My heart exploded.

  “Babe,” I began, stepping in toward him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “She was crying when we left. Do you think she’s okay now?”

  I giggled. “I’m sure she’s fine, Lorenzo.”

  “How sure?” he worried.

  Stepping out of his arms, I pulled my phone out of my purse and sent a text to Dom.

  How’s my niece? Has she settled down?

  Dom replied almost immediately with a picture of Gracie in her crib, sound asleep. I held my phone up and showed it to Lorenzo.

  “She’s not crying anymore.”

  His face went soft and he visibly relaxed.

  “Are you ready for bed?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  With that, the two of us climbed the stairs and got ready for bed.

  Once we were under the blankets and my body was tucked tight to his while he spooned me, Lorenzo threw an unexpected question at me.

  “Do you want kids one day, Jolie?”

  I was so caught off guard, my body tensed. “Yes,” I eventually replied. “I mean, not now, but definitely one day I want to have kids.”

  He didn’t reply.

  In fact, he was silent so long I began to worry what that might mean. And the feeling I had told me that it was possible he didn’t want children.

  “Lorenzo?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What about you? Do you want kids one day?”

  I felt him inhale a deep breath behind me. After he let it out, he shared, “I never thought about it before tonight, to be honest. Before you and I became us, I hadn’t even considered what we have now. But seeing you tonight with them and holding that little girl in my arms has me thinking about things that never crossed my mind before now.”

  I leaned back into him and turned myself around to face him. Even though it was dark in the room, my eyes had adjusted enough that I could make out his features.

  “Talk to me,” I urged him.

  “I don’t know what to say,” he started. “I used to live my life taking each day as it came. But since you’ve come into my life, things have changed and thoughts have crossed my mind. All of it is my future. A future I really think I want to build with you.”

  Lorenzo wanted a future with me. I wanted that, too.

  I didn’t get a chance to respond because he continued, “I know we haven’t been together very long, baby. I’m not saying we are at that point yet, not even close, but I want to know it’s something that you’re looking to work toward with me. Tonight, seeing how you were with those kids, it’d be a shame if you didn’t share that love with children of your own. And for me, holding Gracie and Hank tonight did something to me. They are completely helpless and totally reliant on someone to care for them. It made me realize that I want the chance to be a father. I want to be the one that I never had.”

  I rested my palm against his cheek and assured him, “I think you’ll be an amazing daddy one day.”

  “I’m scared, though,” he confessed.

  My big guy.

  So tough, so strong.

  Strong enough to admit and own up to his fears.

  My thumb stroked back and forth along his cheekbone. “What scares you?”

  “Not being good enough for them. Hurting them. Hurting you. Mostly…becoming my father.”

  “If Hank and Gracie were ever in danger, if someone was trying to harm them, what would you do?”

  Without hesitating, he responded, “I’d risk my own life to protect them and make sure they were safe. I’d never let anyone hurt them.”

  “Don’t you think your need to protect would be that much stronger for your own children?” I asked.

  “I’d hope it would be,” he returned.

  “I know you said you and your brother went into counseling when you were younger. Have you considered talking to someone again now that you’ve got these new feelings? I have zero doubts about the man you are and I’ll listen to you talk about it anytime you want, but if you want to seek the help of a professional, I’d support that, too.”

  Lorenzo squeezed my hip. “I love your faith in me, baby. I’ll think about talking to someone.”

  After leaning in to kiss his throat, I said softly, “You aren’t an abuser, Lorenzo. You’ve protected me from my own clumsiness, you’ve defended me when someone tried to get the best of me, you stood up for your mom, you shielded your brother, you rescue people all the time for your job, and you just admitted you’d sacrifice yourself to protect my niece and nephew. Every day you prove that you’re a good man and that you’re a protector. If I’ve got to remind you of that, I will.”

  Dom pressed his lips against my forehead before he whispered, “I love you, Jolie.”

  I wasted no time in returning the sentiment.

  Once I did, Lorenzo’s mouth found mine and we ended our day in the most fabulous way possible.

  “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “It’s about time. I’m starved,” Lorenzo grumbled.

  Except I remembered something and realized I wasn’t ready.

  “Wait!” I cried. “I forgot Daphne’s gift!”

  Lorenzo waited at the front door to my condo while I ran back through and up the stairs to my bedroom where I’d put the squeaky dog toy I
’d picked up earlier in the week.

  It was Thanksgiving Day, and Lorenzo and I had a full day planned. We were just about to head out the door to go to his mom’s house. There, we’d have an early Thanksgiving lunch with her, Rocco, and Daphne.

  Sadly, earlier in the week, Lorenzo told me that Rocco and his girlfriend had split. They’d only been together about six months, which is precisely the reason why she didn’t know what to expect when hockey season started. Apparently, she thought she would be okay with his schedule during the season, but that quickly changed once Rocco started traveling a lot. With him gone so often and their relationship being so new, she realized it wasn’t something she was cut out for. I felt bad for Rocco but had no doubts that he’d soon find a girl that was perfect for him. In fact, when I found out, I was actually a bit bummed that Ava had gone home for the holiday. Even if it wasn’t going to be anything long-term, it still would have been nice to have someone with whom to spend the time.

  Grabbing the bag with Daphne’s toy off the floor, I hurried back down the stairs. I waved the bag in my hand at Lorenzo and exclaimed, “I’ve got it. Okay, I’m ready now.”

  “The dog didn’t need a gift, Jolie,” he muttered.

  “Yes, she did. Besides, since I don’t have my own dog to spoil yet, it makes me happy to spoil her.”

  “You are crazy.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. “That may be true, but you still love me.”

  His face softened. “Yeah, baby, I do.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips before he urged, “Come on, let’s go.”

  When we walked into Lena’s house, we were greeted first by Daphne.

  “Hi, puppy,” I said, leaning over and giving her rubs and scratches. She loved it.

  “She’s not a puppy anymore, Jolie,” Lorenzo pointed out.

  I frowned. She wasn’t and I certainly couldn’t even pretend she was considering her massive size.

  Lorenzo reached for my hand and led me through the house toward the kitchen where we found both Lena and Rocco.