Tangled Hearts

by Barbara McMahon

  She also knew it would be a long time before she got over her anger or the sense of betrayal she felt from her brother. Far from having her back, he'd caused a major rift in her life.

  Or had he? Had Jake used that excuse as a means of getting out of a relationship that was turning more serious than he wanted?

  She loved him. He'd never said the words to her.

  When she reached home, some of the tension had abated. She thanked Susan for being there for her, but told her she would be fine on her own that night.

  Entering the house, Brianna saw there was a message on her answering machine. Listening she heard Jake's voice asking her to call him.

  She didn’t want to call him. She wanted to see him. Tomorrow.

  In the meantime, she had a lot to think about.

  One thing Josh had said echoed over and over in her mind. If Jake had really cared about her, he'd have told her brother to go to hell and continued seeing her. But he hadn't.

  She didn’t like the thought, but maybe Josh was right. Maybe Jake really didn’t care for her the way she wanted him to. Maybe he didn’t love her the way she loved him.

  Jake called just as she was dropping off to sleep.

  “Where were you today?” he asked abruptly.

  “I had errands to run,” she replied vaguely. She was not going to tell him about Josh over the phone. She wanted to talk to him face-to-face. Maybe then she’d find out how he really felt.

  “Driving all right?”

  “Susan drove.” She clutched the phone tightly, wishing she knew what to do, what to say.

  Would Jake have stopped seeing her just on Josh’s say-so?

  “What’s your schedule tomorrow?”

  “My first class isn’t until ten, but I'm going into the office around nine.”

  She wanted to see him but now wanted to stall. Once she confronted him with what Josh had done—then what?

  If her brother’s comment was right on, it'd make no difference to Jake.

  “We think we have a lead. You have someone there tonight? It'll probably all be over tomorrow.”

  “Who?”

  “Tomorrow.” With that, he hung up.

  Blast the man, how did he expect her to sleep tonight worrying about whom they suspected? One of her students? Most likely, since it followed so soon after discovering the grades had been changed in her calculus class. But who?

  Brianna dressed with care the next morning, trying to cover the dark circles beneath her eyes. She usually wore woolen slacks to work since it was so cold in winter. But today she chose a dusty pink woolen sweater paired with a dark brown skirt. She brushed her hair until it gleamed with highlights, applying enough makeup to hide the evidence of her sleeplessness. Dressing up had nothing to do with seeing Jake today.

  The morning dragged by. He did not come, or call, before her first class. She watched the back of the classroom during the hour, thinking he might drop in as he had before.

  He did not.

  Working through lunch so she wouldn’t miss him, she was beginning to worry when he finally showed up at her door.

  “Hi.” She looked up. Her heart raced and her hand grew damp. She'd practiced what she would say when she saw him, but suddenly her mind went blank. All she could do was stare at him and feel the electricity sparking through her. Would she ever get tired of looking at him? Ever stop wanting him?

  “Hi. Can I close the door?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

  At her nod, he shut the door behind him and walked over to the chair across the desk from her.

  “You found him,” she said, noticing the seriousness of his expression.

  “We found him. Alan Dalton. Know him?”

  Slowly she shook her head. “The name doesn’t ring a bell.”

  “Not surprising. He wasn’t one of your students, though he does attend the university. He’s Peggy Albert’s boyfriend.”

  Instant understanding. “He changed her grade so she could keep her scholarship.”

  “Bingo. Apparently, without the scholarship she was out of school. Alan didn’t want that for her or himself.”

  Brianna frowned. “So he risked jail to keep her in school?”

  Jake nodded. “That’s it. We’ve got a complete confession—breaking and entering, vandalism, malicious mischief, assault and battery, tampering with the computer, theft.”

  He shook his head. “He’s twenty-one studying computer science. That’s how he knew how to hack the college computer and alter the grades. He switched more than one to confuse the issue if anyone suspected anything. Then he had to get your grade sheets to make verification that much more difficult.”

  She sighed. “All for his girlfriend.” Idly she rubbed her sore wrist. “What a sad ending for a young student with potential. And for a girlfriend who wouldn’t have been in that situation if she had just done the work. What a waste.”

  “He said he was sorry for knocking you down. That was an accident. He only wanted to grab the briefcase and run.”

  She nodded. If she hadn’t lost her balance, she wouldn't have fallen. He hadn’t deliberately pushed her.

  “Now what?” she asked.

  “We’re turning the case over to the D.A. His office will contact you. If there’s a trial, it’ll be in a couple of months. My guess is the kid will continue to admit he did it and there’ll be a hearing and sentencing. But you don’t have to worry anymore. The reasons for the break-ins are gone. He wanted your grade book, and when he couldn’t find it in your house, he tried here, your car. Finally taking the briefcase.”

  “Thank you. You said you’d find the guy, and you did.”

  He stood. “Just part of the job.”

  “Wait. I wanted to talk to you.”

  Was he leaving? Just like that? The case was solved, so he was going?

  Not if she had anything to say about it.

  “About?” He remained standing, looking as if he’d bolt at any moment.

  “About my brother, Josh. I went to see him yesterday.”

  Jake’s expression didn’t waver. He regarded her steadily as he stood before her desk. “And?”

  “And he told me you two talked a couple of years ago.” She pushed back her chair and stood. It helped shorten the distance she had to look up at him. If he wouldn’t sit, she'd stand.

  Jake clenched his fists but remained silent.

  The betraying gesture touched Brianna. Taking heart, she walked around her desk, her ankle scarcely aching. She'd hoped for a better reaction than this. But she had always hoped around Jake. It didn’t often do any good.

  “I never knew why you stopped calling me. I thought we were having fun. I enjoyed spending time with you.” She stopped close enough to him that she could feel his heat, breathe his after-shave.

  “Your brother set me straight on a few things, that’s all. He's right. You and I don’t have much in common.” His voice was carefully neutral.

  “Are you nuts? We get along fine. More than fine most times.” She reached out and touched his cheek lightly. His hand snapped up and grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from him, his fingers lingering on her soft skin.

  “What we had worked for a while. But Josh was right. We're too different to make a go of it. I’m a cop, Brianna. That’s all I ever wanted to be. I make a good salary, but nothing to compare with the money you have from the Rafter C. And I’m old-fashioned enough to want to provide for my own family, not live off a rich wife. Besides, what happened to the man you were going to marry?”

  The clenching of his teeth gave her a clue he was not as disinterested as his tone suggested.

  She took heart. “That’s plain dumb. First of all, I’m not rich. Weren’t you listening when I told you I could finally afford a town house because of my second job at the Air Force base? I don’t have lots of money from the Rafter C. I’m part owner with Josh and Jase, but most of the money’s plowed back into the ranch. That’s what keeps it going, keeps it up-to-date and modern. Secondly,
there's no other man. There never was. Josh made that up.”

  “My job’s too dangerous,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “I know from wives of other cops that they worry constantly about their husbands. Living with that kind of fear is draining.”

  She tugged at her hand, but he didn’t release her, his grip tightening instead. “You’re as bad as Josh. No wonder you stayed away. You agree with him. I get it—life's dangerous. No one gets out alive. I could have been killed if I had hit my head hard enough the other morning. But I wasn’t. You could be killed in a car crash like my parents, or fall off a ladder like your uncle. Nowhere does it say that anything in life is guaranteed. Except I can guarantee you that I love you.”

  His lips moved in a semblance of a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Hero syndrome. I saved you, so you’re grateful.”

  “Grateful be damned! Let me tell you something, Jake Morgan.” The index finger of her other hand poked his chest, just as she had done with her brother. These men made her so angry she could scream.

  “For the past two years, I haven't had a single date. Do you want to know why?” Without waiting for him to reply, she continued, “Because I didn’t want to go out with anyone but you. I loved you then and I love you now. I’ve loved you all along. You may not love me and if that’s the way of things, so be it. But if you feel anything for me, tell me. Jake, I love you.”

  He took her other hand and bent both behind her, pressing her body against his as he lowered his mouth to hers. His kiss was sweet. Gentle. Brief. Lifting up his head, he gazed down into her eyes for an endless moment as if imprinting her features in his mind for all time.

  “You get on with your life, Brie. You’ve got a great future here at the college. You’ll find a nice intellectual type to talk to and share your ideas with. I’m not for you, sweetheart, much as I wish I were. I don’t know anything about family life. It was just my uncle and me for so long, then me alone. I’m a bad risk, any way you look at it. Listen to your brother, and me. Find someone else.”

  He kissed her again, then released her and turned.

  She stood stock-still, staring in disbelief as he opened the door and walked down the long hallway. She moved slowly to the doorway and watched as he pressed the button for the elevator, then was swallowed up inside as the doors closed behind him.

  He’d gone. He hadn't said he loved her. He had not replied to her confession of love at all. Not swept her off her feet and insisted he'd loved her all along.

  Instead, he agreed with Josh.

  Her heart felt as if it were breaking. She raised her palm to her chest and pressed hard, trying to assuage the ache. For the last few hours, she'd counted on Jake loving her.

  She thought back over the past few weeks. He’d been so attentive. His kisses had melted all her resistance, and he had seemed to be struggling for control, as well. Had she totally misread the situation?

  The elevator chimed. For one brief, heart-stopping moment, she thought he was coming back. Her heart soared. But two students stepped out and headed away from her. Sighing, she turned, closed the door behind her and let the tears fall.

  Somehow, Brianna made it through the rest of the day. And for minutes at a time, she was able to forget Jake and the hopes she’d had of his admitting he loved her.

  Even walking to her car, she couldn’t help glancing around, hoping to see him waiting for her. Looking over the area reminded her of how he always scanned the vicinity whenever they went anywhere. How long this time would it take to get her life under some sort of control? To regain the sense of contentment she’d begun to forge?

  There were two messages from Josh on her phone, which she'd turned off earlier, both demanding that she call him as soon as she got home. So not going to happen.

  Her head ached a bit. She’d fix a light dinner, then lie down. She sighed. She remembered last time she’d been so depressed that sleep had been her only panacea. Was she going to repeat that remedy?

  Just after nine, her phone rang. Brianna was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. The hall light offered the only illumination. Slowly she reached out to answer the phone.

  “Brianna?”

  “Hi, Jase,” she responded listlessly.

  “What’s up, baby sister?” he asked gently.

  It was almost her undoing. Tears welled, but she fought to keep them from falling. Sitting up, she pushed her hand through her hair. “Life isn’t much fun right now, big brother.”

  “So I hear from Josh. You okay?”

  “Do you mean physically or emotionally?”

  “Both.”

  “My ankle still hurts a little. My wrist is almost well. My head aches tonight, but I’m not sure that’s from the bump or the fact I told Jake I loved him today and he told me he wasn’t right for me.” She brushed the tears that spiked her lashes and took a deep, shaky breath.

  “Is he right?” Jase asked softly.

  “No. But Josh put the notion into his head and Jake’s stubborn. I have to admit he can be as cantankerous as that old mule Daddy used to have. But I don’t mind.”

  She loved him happy, cranky, mad, stubborn. She wouldn’t change anything except his answer that afternoon.

  “And now you’re mad at Josh.”

  “You cannot even imagine how angry I am at him. He had no right to interfere with my life. I can manage things fine. If I mess up, I have only myself to blame. Except in this, I blame Josh. I may never speak to him again. How could he do that to me?” Anger began to rise.

  “He was just looking after his baby sister,” Jase explained.

  “Ha. I’m only two years younger than he is. I don’t need looking after. Oh, Jase, I’m so lonely. I only want to spend time with Jake. These past two years have been hell. I keep as busy as I can with work and buying and fixing up this place, but it’s not enough. Why can’t he love me back?”

  “Maybe it’s for the best—Wait a minute.”

  “Brianna?” Her sister-in-law’s voice came across the line.

  “Hi, Shannon.”

  “Go away, Jase. This is girl talk.” There were several seconds of silence, then Shannon spoke again. “Brianna, it seems to me these men have fouled things up royally.”

  Brianna smiled. Trust her petite sister-in-law to get right to the heart of the matter. Her brother stood well over six feet, yet his small, dark-haired wife had him wrapped around her little finger.

  “You could say that. I can’t forgive Josh for interfering. Nor Jake for agreeing with him.”

  “You know your own mind, no matter what they say. I think you’ll forgive Josh sooner or later. He's your brother and his reason for interfering was sound, even if misguided. The question I have for you is what are you doing about the situation now?”

  “What can I do? I told Jake I loved him and he walked away.”

  “So you’re just giving up?”

  “I don’t know,” Brianna said.

  “I’m going to tell you a secret that you are never, never to let Jase know you know.”

  “Okay.”

  “When we were first married, your stubborn brother would not sleep with me. He was convinced I went along with the marriage solely out of gratitude. Stupid man, I was crazy about him from the first moment I saw him, even if he was a rodeo cowboy. Anyway, that’s why I was so delighted when you and Josh came to spend that first Thanksgiving with us. With the two of you in the guest rooms, that left Jase no place else to go but to my room!”

  Brianna smiled. She could just picture Shannon maneuvering her obstinate brother.

  “So I get Jake over here somehow and force him into my bed?” she asked, trying to follow Shannon’s train of thought.

  Shannon giggled softly. “Maybe nothing that drastic. But you’re a smart person. These men have no business making decisions for you. You make your own.”

  “Shannon, I owe you one. I’ve got an idea.”

  “You owe me nothing. Just find your happiness like I found m
ine with your brother.”

  Brianna hung up the phone a few minutes later, cheered beyond belief. Shannon was right. There was no reason for her to let Josh and Jake decide her fate. She was in charge of her life and she'd live it as she wanted.

  And, if possible, with whom she wanted.

  Returning to bed, she considered and discarded a dozen ideas. Finally, one came to mind that wouldn’t be dislodged. She studied it from all angles. It'd work. She'd make sure it worked. And if Jake didn’t like it, well, too bad. Time he learned what it was like to have someone else make the decisions.

  The next morning, Brianna called the police station and asked to speak to Don Winston. After acknowledging she knew about the arrest and conferring about her testimony, she casually brought up Jake’s name.

  “He was such a help. Did he take the rest of his vacation time? I felt badly infringing on his free time,” she said with false sincerity. She'd infringe on his time from now on, whenever she had the chance.

  “Far as I know, he's still working. He returned to work yesterday. And he should have taken some time off. He’s as grouchy as a bear.”

  “The weekend’s coming up. He’ll get some down time then. He’s not working an extra shift or anything, is he?” she probed.

  “Far as I know, he'll be off from Friday night until Monday.”

  “I’m so pleased you found the man responsible,” she concluded. She hoped Don thought that was the only reason she called.

  She smiled when she hung up. Jake was in town and had the weekend free. Friday would be the day.

  Brianna made her plans carefully. Thursday she drove by his apartment to study the neighborhood. She stopped at four o’clock and parked in front of his building, watching the mothers walking their babies and the college students strolling home after classes. By four-twenty, the sidewalk was deserted.

  Friday she shopped for groceries. Since Jake liked to eat and she liked to cook, she bought plenty of supplies. She wanted everything to be special. If they ran out, they could shop together.

  She packed carefully, making sure she took the most obviously feminine apparel she owned. She added only a couple of jeans and T-shirts. She was out to make a statement, not blend in.